I wrote about a page of this and then was iffy about finishing it – I'm almost certain that it won't get read, simply because it's not about any of the "important" or "readable" characters – Jacob, Edward, or Bella. However, then I realized; you know, Jasper has a say in if I finish this or not. So, at 10:05 at night, I grabbed a Capri Sun, took my laptop onto my deck, and put Sara Bareilles on repeat. The outcome: this story.
Fissure
"I never understood before, I never knew what love was for;
My heart was broke, my head was sore, what a feeling.
Tied up in ancient history, I didn't believe in destiny;
I look up, you're standing next to me, what a feeling."
As she danced – there was really no other way to describe it – around the human girl, who was seated in the bathroom, held hostage, I couldn't help but marvel at her beauty, as I did every time I saw her. My heart, beatless all the same, would speed up if it possessed the ability to each time she passed through even my peripheral vision. She was just that perfect to me. A blessing. She was my beacon in the darkness.
It tore me apart; to see her like this – so obsessed with dressing up Bella, who desired nothing more than to be set free. Alice and Bella were polar opposites in that way… and many others, I assumed. Alice, who couldn't remember a thing from her human life, was intent on making Bella the best human she could be – dressing her up, making her fancy. Bella, on the other hand, loathed being Alice's doll, but she played along, simply because she knew why Alice did the things she did.
"Jasper?" Alice's soprano chime of a voice echoed in the bathroom, and I came back to reality to answer her question with a nod of my head. "Can you get me the hair cutting scissors? I think it's about time we hack off her split ends."
I grinned and dashed down the stairs, located the haircutting scissors, and flew right back up them, being gone for no more than ten seconds. I handed them wordlessly to my soul mate, who smiled thoughtfully in response. "Thanks, Jazz." Her eyes were gold and full of emotion, and I'd have stayed there for a long time if Bella weren't human and full of blood in front of me.
"I'll be downstairs," I told her, and smiled apologetically at Bella. She waved it away, kind as she was, and told me not to worry about it. I disappeared down the hall and thought about going to my room – though there wouldn't be a thing of interest to do there, of course – and then saw the open door to Alice's bedroom.
Smiling to myself, I entered her room instead.
It was a normal place to be – the walls were a smooth, pastel green, and there was a small sofa on the wall that was alongside the door. Directly in front of me was the window-wall that made up one side of our house, and it was brilliant. Alice had always loved nature, as had I, and she had a beautiful view from her room. To my left was a laptop, something that she probably rarely used, and on the rest of the walls were photographs.
It wasn't like I hadn't seen these before – in fact, I probably had them memorized at this point – but just the excitement of being in her room, the one place she spent a lot of time in, the one place that she was herself; Alice, all the time, not pretending to be human, or something else, made me want to look at them all again.
The first one I came upon was a picture that must've been decades old—Alice and her younger sister. I had no coherent idea as to how Alice could have discovered this, but it was old and faded, in a sepia-like tone. She must've hunted it down the summer after James bit Bella; when we saw that horrendous video that he'd made.
Directly above that was a picture of all of us, the Cullens, in Denali, standing around a gigantic snowman that we'd devoted an entire day to making. It was taller and wider than Emmett, and we'd named him Sugar Loaf, courtesy of the biggest Cullen himself.
To the left of that picture was one of just her and I in front of the Eiffel Tower. While the photo was being taken, I snuck a kiss on her cheek, and that was how it was forever documented. She claims it to be her favorite picture.
Beneath that one was a photo of Alice and I again, but I was smashing a snowball on top of her head. I was in mid-laugh, and her face was warped into ignorance, a cute expression that made me laugh every time she did it. She was adorable all the time, but especially when she was angry.
In the middle of the wall was a famous photograph of the New York skyline. It was gigantic, but Alice had insisted upon hanging it—her favorite place in the entire world, she always said, was New York City, and I could never grasp why.
On the opposite side of the photograph was my favorite picture of her and Edward—her head was facing the sky, because she was laughing at something. Edward was staring at the camera, asking 'what the hell' with his expression, and pointing at Alice like she was from a different planet. One arm was around her shoulder, however, and I knew that they had an unbreakable bond of sibling love that I would never fully understand.
There was a squeal from the bathroom, and I felt myself grin when I realized it was Alice. "You look so cute!" she squeaked, and I could smell Bella getting closer, down the hall. It was ridiculous how this girl wasn't afraid of us, or afraid of me, rather—she was more terrified of needles than bloodthirsty mythical creatures from ancient history.
"Jasper," Alice huffed while dragging Bella into the bedroom, happiness leaking out of her four-foot-ten form, "doesn't she look positively adorable?"
Bella was adorning a very displeased face—in fact, the embarrassment radiating off of her was almost painful—her hair had been whacked off to her shoulders, but it was a cut that framed her face very well. She'd been given layers, as well, and her eyes had the smallest hint of mascara on them. Had I not been with Alice for a few decades, it would have been a very awkward situation to be in, but instead I smiled and nodded. "You look pretty, Bella," was the wise insight I put in, and she forced a smile.
"Thanks," she grunted, and I laughed, which got a genuine smile out of her. "Alice, I have to get home," she lamented, and exited the room with Alice in tow. "I promised Charlie I'd make something good for dinner… can you tell Edward to show up tonight?"
"Like I'll need to tell him," Alice snorted, and I stifled a loud laugh. She was correct. Edward was completely taken by Bella, something that I was very happy to see. For the longest time, all I could feel was the envy that Edward felt toward Alice and I, and Carlisle and Esme, and occasionally Emmett and Rosalie.
It was mostly toward us, though, and this I understood. Alice had quite literally saved me from what I had become, and what I would've continued to be, had she not come into my life. She may argue and say that I would've been fine, or she may argue and say that I'm more important in her life, but there is no possible way for that to be true.
I went through my life being a fissure; a small hole that was endlessly deep. I didn't look like much, but I was full of dark emotions that nobody would understand. Alice, always happy, even with the confusing past she possessed, brought out the sunlight in my life, and improved me as a person.
So, you can trust me when I say that it is not a hyperbole that Alice saved me.
As if on cue, she walked into the room, more like a ballerina than anything. "Hey," she whispered, smiling. "Whatcha up to?"
"Nothing," I answered shortly, eyeing the pictures some more.
"Looking at these old things? Again?" I knew she was happy, amused, even, but the pretend scoff on her face was admirable, so I didn't say anything. "You know, Jasper, I think you may be in love with this girl, whoever she may be. The short one with black hair, in all the pictures?"
I played along with her. "Me? In love with her? No way. I much prefer the male with the honey-colored hair. I bend that way, you know." I winked at her. "Would you happen to have his number?"
She remained in "character" for maybe two seconds, and then burst into laughter. "You and Edward… hmm. Definitely something I would kill to see."
My eyes met hers, a good two feet away, and I picked her up to meet my height. "That's much better," I decided.
"I agree."
We searched each other's eyes for a moment, not sure what to look for, but eternal love. Then, she broke the silence: "I should get stilts."
I was startled into chuckles and put her back down at her normal height. Turning, I sat on her bed, patting the spot next to me. Instead, she settled in my lap. "Seriously, though. Picture it: vampire on stilts. I bet I could kick some giraffe ass that way," she reasoned, and I chuckled again.
"You," I told her, and kissed her nose, "are a blessing."
"And you," she retorted, pecking my lips, "are ridiculously overdramatic."
I sighed, and tried to figure out a way I could tell her how much I loved her, and then realized that that was just it: I couldn't. There wasn't a way for me to possibly verbalize how I felt about her. So, instead of trying, I simply caught her eyes again, pools of riches that I would never grow tired of.
Because of Alice, I was no longer a fissure.
Maybe someday she'd begin to understand.
"There was a time I had nothing to give, I needed shelter from the storm I was in.
And when it all got too heavy, you carried my weight, and I want to hold you,
And I want to say that you are all that I need: for you; I give my soul to keep."
Jasper is my favorite character in the Twilight series… aside from Edward. I really don't think Edward counts as a character, though. He's more of a god. Not a demigod, like my Reviewer Demigods, but a god at that. So… Edward aside, Jasper's my favorite. I don't even know why, though. He's just so… lovable. (:
So, yeah. I felt like doing this from his perspective because on Stephenie's site, we get Rosalie's POV, and not many people are ridiculously fond of Rosalie. We also get Jacob's and Edward's. Bella's is all the time, and Alice is animated enough to get what she's thinking. Emmett is the man, and a lot of people love him the way I love Jasper, so we get his on this site. Jasper's written about sometimes here, but I feel like he's usually the quietest of the Cullens, the most mysterious. He's tortured by Bella's presence, but doesn't say anything.
The song featured at the beginning is "Brighter Than Sunshine" by Aqualung, an AMAZING one-man band that helped me through a hard time in my life. (: The song at the end is "Better Man" by James Morrison. (:
If anyone can guess the reference to Kellan Lutz in this, I shall give you a cookie. (:
QUESTION: is fanfic being incredibly pissy for anyone else? No review alerts? It's making me angry ):
REVIEW, DEMIGODS, OR THOU SHALT BE SMOTE! (:
steph.