Yeah, yeah, I know I should be working on my other fics, but like so many fanfic authors, I constantly have ideas for stories. This fic was inspired mostly by jbern's The Lie I've Lived, but that's a Harry Potter fic.

Chapter I- Identity Crisis

Naruto stumbled groggily around the campsite, having been woken rather rudely by his "friends."

"What the hell's been going on?" he cursed, still blinking blearily, before he walked straight into Sakura.

'Kushina?' he said in his mind, before actually focusing. 'Nah, this isn't Kushina, this kid's got pink hair, not red...how the hell does some get pink hair? Wait, why am I calling Sakura-chan a kid?'

Naruto continued stumbling over his thoughts and feet. 'Who the hell is Kushina?' He wondered, trying to sort thousands of memories hurtling through his head.

"Naruto, what are you doing?" said Sakura impatiently. "Everyone's already gone."

"Who's gone?" said Naruto, resorting to physical measures, and smacking himself across the head. "This is weird..."

"Obviously, you're hitting yourself across the head, idiot!" said Sakura, smashing him into the ground.

"You know, I don't think hitting me to stop me hitting myself is a brilliant idea," mumbled Naruto, pulling himself out of a crater. "So, where's the bastard?"

Naruto was promptly smashed straight into the ground again. "Idiot! Don't call Sasuke that!"

"And? Would you prefer it if I called into question his gender preference?"

"Naruto, if you're saying what I think- wait, what?" said Sakura. "Did I hit you too hard or something?"

Naruto blinked. "You hit me the same as usual. I'm practically immune to them by now."

"There you go again!" said Sakura, before turning. "Sasuke, hurry!"

Presently, the Uchiha survivor reappeared. "What?" he said irritably.

"It's an imposter!" Sakura cried.

"Where!?" Naruto said, looking around, before noticing Sakura was pointing at him. "Hey, what the hell?"

"Hn...that's Naruto alright. Stop wasting my time, we've got to get a scroll," said Sasuke.

"See," said Naruto smugly. "It's blatantly obvious to the naked eye that you are the one who's in the wrong. Maybe you're the imposter."

Sasuke stopped. "That's an imposter."

"What? You can't turn around your words like that, you backstabbing bastard!"

"Since when did Naruto use words like "called into question", "gender preference", "practically immune," and "blatantly obvious"?!" demanded Sakura.

"What are you talking about?" said Naruto. "I've always talked like this."

"No you haven't," disagreed Sakura.

"...Who are you really?" said Sasuke.

Naruto sighed. "Guys seriously, I'm starting to get a little pissed off. First I get hit twice, now you think I'm an imposter."

"You hit him?" said Sasuke, turning to Sakura, who squirmed under his gaze, before nodding. "Then it can't be a genjutsu or Henge. Apparently the dead-last's learned how to use a proper vocabulary."

Sasuke and Sakura fully expected Naruto to rise up indignantly. What they didn't expect was Naruto to brush off his words.

"Whatever. So, you were saying something getting a scroll?" said Naruto.

Sasuke eyed Naruto suspiciously, before telling his teammates to get a move on, considering they had probably caused a big enough ruckus to bring every ninja in the entire forest.

The three shot through the treetops, Naruto still in a world of his own, having resumed his perusing of memories, only to be broken out of his trance-like state by Sakura's voice, the girl wondering whether Kakashi-sensei would be at the tower.

'Kakashi huh?' thought Naruto fondly, reminiscing on the kid, a particular memory flitting into his head. 'Wait...since when was Kakashi a kid? He's my sensei!'

Naruto almost slipped as he landed on a branch, but managed to cover up his mistake and continue. The boy then put the memories out of his mind, and did not think about them again till they had got a scroll from some team and eventually they reached the tower...

"Is there anyone who wishes to forfeit?" asked Hayate.

Naruto was aware of Sakura and Sasuke furiously whispering to another, but decided to stay out of it. To his surprise, Kabuto chose to forfeit, claiming he was too weak from his earlier skirmishes.

"Don't we get a lunch break?" said Naruto, raising his hand.

The Sandaime Hokage sighed. "Naruto, there are no lunch breaks."

"Well, some people are hungry," argued Naruto. "Those forms you had us sign before didn't say anything about dying of starvation."

Sarutobi's eyes widened as Anko handed him a copy of the form, and he quickly scanned through it, before realising Naruto had actually found a valid loophole. Reluctantly, he called for a table of food to be put up and gave all the genin ten minutes.

Naruto smirked to himself. 'Heh, they still leave too many loopholes in there forms, when I took the Chunnin exam- wait, what? I'm taking it now...' But Naruto still felt he had taken the exam before...and passed.

'Maybe I can see the future,' thought Naruto. 'Cool, that means I'll become a Chuunin!'

Happily dwelling on those thoughts, Naruto sat at a table, unzipping his jacket and leaving it on his chair as he quickly filled his plate. Chouji and Kiba (predictably) were already there eating, while the other genin looked irritated at a few people's indulgence.

But as the ten minutes began ticking away, more and more people joined them at the table.

"Ten minutes are over," said Sarutobi irritably, as the screen began flashing through names, and the table disappeared from view, leaving a few startled genin.

The first names shown was some Leaf genin on Kabuto's team and Sasuke, so Naruto went onto the balcony with the rest of his team. And Naruto gave a sigh in boredom as he leant on the railing.

"Hey, I get an easy fight!" said Naruto cheerfully, staring up at the screen that now stated: Uzumaki Naruto vs. Inuzuka Kiba.

Naruto jumped over the railing, landing on his feet, his knees bent. 'Strange, I never jump down like that...'

"Knock off that attitude, you don't stand a chance against me!" yelled Kiba, also jumping down, but landing more roughly, while Akamaru remained on his shoulder, jumping off as Kiba hit the ground.

"Hey, is that dog going to fight as well?" said Naruto.

"Me and Akamaru are a team!" shouted Kiba furiously.

"I was talking to Akamaru."

"You bastard! But don't worry, I'll go easy on you. I won't use Akamaru."

'Idiot,' thought Naruto. 'A shinobi must use all the advantages they have. Why the hell is he intentionally weakening himself? He's just lost the chance to become Chunnin...wait, what?'

"Begin!" said Hayate, with a cough.

"Tell ya what Naruto, I'll do you a favour. I'll knock you out with a single shot so you don't even feel any pain."

Naruto snorted. "He said "begin" Kiba, I'm not in the mood for to hear your battle tactics."

Kiba angrily activated his family jutsu, which Naruto carefully analysed.

'A basic Inuzuka family jutsu...essentially, it affects the body. As Kiba is now on four legs, it's relatively obvious he'll be faster, and most likely stronger. But the technique does have a drawback- if the user shoots out to attack, to "knock out with a single shot", it makes it hard to stop moving in a straight line, meaning a faster opponent can easily dodge...but I'm probably not faster, so it'll take careful timing- wait, how do I know all this?!'

"It's already over, Naruto!" shouted Kiba, before cannoning himself across the ground, his hand poised to strike...

'Now!' Naruto half-turned, avoiding Kiba's hand, and slammed his fist into the Inuzuka's face. As Kiba stumbled away, clutching his face, Naruto delivered a heavy kick to his chest, sending Kiba flying back.

'Wow, how did I know how to do that?' thought Naruto, before taking two kunai out of his pocket. 'I should really keep a kunai holster on the other side as well, seeing as I'm ambidextrous...wait, I'm right-handed!'

Regardless of the many conflicting thoughts, Naruto took a kunai in each hand, giving both a twirl on his fingers, before taking a stance he had never used before...but he felt like he had.

And then when he thought he had never used it, a memory flickered across his eye, him taking a stance, white coat swaying in the breeze, twirling two three-pronged kunai.

'What the hell?' wondered Naruto, before snapping out of it and watching Kiba climb to his feet.

"You got lucky with that one!" Kiba was even more infuriated, something else Naruto noted.

'Dogs are rather emotional...but this anger means Kiba will be less focused...so there's an advantage.'

Kiba shot forwards a second time, but this time Naruto ducked under the blow, before spinning around, his hands forming seals. "Katon: Goukakyu no Jutsu!"

The Inuzuka only turned around and froze as a great fireball smashed into him.

Eventually, the smoke and flames settle, revealing a very charred Kiba lying on the floor.

Naruto scratched the back of his head nervously. "You okay? I tried to hold it back a little-" Naruto stopped himself as he realised that he had just used a jutsu he had never even practised before- he didn't even know the seals for it!

"Winner –cough-, Uzumaki Naruto!" declared Hayate, before calling on the med-ninja to tend to Kiba.

'Wait, that's not my name-' Naruto froze. Of course that was his name. But then, why did he think it wasn't?

"Naruto, hurry up! The next match is going to begin!" shouted Sakura, as the screen began flashing through names.

'Who am I?' said Naruto, trying to focus on these foreign memories. 'I am Uzumaki Naruto, aren't I?' More memories flowed through Naruto's mind, and he tried to grab onto them, trying to find names.

A day had passed since the preliminaries. Naruto was at his home, frantically trying to make sense of his newfound memories.

Names began falling into his clutches, yet he could tell that it was not his name. Uzumaki Kushina. Hatake Kakashi. Uchiha Obito. Jiraiya-sensei...

And then as he came across the name, Namikaze Minato, another memory flashed through his head.

"Come on, don't say that," said Minato. "I thought it was great!"

The white-haired man –no, Jiraiya-sensei looked surprised.

"Each chapter really seems like a page out of your own life, sensei. It's almost like an autobiography."

"Yeah, but," Jiraiya looked embarrassed by the praise. "It didn't sell at all...Maybe I should try and "sex up" the sequel a little...that's my real forte after all."

Minato looked back at the book. "The way the protagonist refused to give up, even at the end...that was really cool. He's just like you, sensei."

"Heheh...you think so?" said Jiraiya, grinning.

"Actually, I was thinking..." began Minato.

"Hm?"

"We want to raise our child...to be a shinobi like the one in your book!" said Minato, as he put the book back on the table. "That's why we've decided to name him after the main character in your book. What do you think?"

Jiraiya looked shocked. "A-Are you sure about this? It's just a random name I came up with while eating some ramen..."

"Naruto," said an angelic voice behind Minato. An attractive red-haired woman approached. "It's a beautiful name."

"Kushina..." Jiraiya still looked stunned, before he chuckled. "Hahahah...if I name him, that makes me his godfather, right? Are you sure you want that on your heads?

"Absolutely!" said Minato. "You're a man with true skill...an example we should all follow. I can't think of a finer shinobi than you..."

The memory ended, and as Naruto realised he had been viewing from Minato's point of view, he came to a few conclusions. Uzumaki Kushina...was his mother. And whoever Namikaze Minato was...he was his father. But how the hell did he get his memories?

Naruto tried to concentrate, and strangely enough, that had gotten easier recently. Naruto had always found it hard to concentrate, but he had got better at it...since he had his father's memories.

He picked one of the most recent memories he could find. Naruto had no idea how he knew it was more recent, he just did.

"I swear...to protect Konoha with my life!" said Minato, raising a certain hat in the air.

Naruto's eyes widened. That was a hat he had dreamed of wearing. The Hokage's ceremonial hat. But...there was only one Hokage that resembled Naruto.

The boy's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he promptly passed out, his last thoughts being: "I'm the son of the Yondaime Hokage, and I've got his memories..."

Fortunately, passing out was perfect for Naruto. For it gave time for his mind to sort out the memories, ordering them carefully, and steadily, bits of Minato's personality melded into Naruto's.

If Naruto was determined before, he was twice as now. Where Naruto was a hyperactive knucklehead, Minato had been calm and collected, something that built into Naruto's personality as well.

But most importantly, Minato's jutsu knowledge. Being a Hokage, he had known over a thousand different jutsu. Admittedly, Naruto knew how to perform them now, but everyone's chakra control was different, but fortunately, Naruto's chakra capacity was larger than the Yondaime's when he was Naruto's age, meaning maybe Naruto could afford to bleed out all that extra chakra.

But still, all this would take time. Maybe in a week or so, Naruto would have his personality mixed with the Yondaime's, and have full access to all his memories. Perhaps longer, for who could predict such a thing would even happen in the first place?

Naruto slept through the rest of the day, waking up at nine, feeling more fresh and alert than he had felt in weeks-

"Shit!" cursed Naruto, as he jumped out of bad, and saw his clock. "I spent an entire day sleeping!"

And he was now hungry.

Naruto changed out of his clothes, still wearing his usual jumpsuit, but leaving the jacket unzipped (one of Minato's tendencies). And Naruto could see why Minato did so, it felt sure as hell comfortable, and was probably good for you, fresh air and all that.

The blonde headed down to Ichiraku Ramen, where Ichiraku Teuchi was waiting at the counter for customers.

"Ah, Naruto! The usual?"

"Just a bowl of miso ramen," said Naruto, hopping onto a seat.

"J-Just one?" said Teuchi, stunned.

"...You okay?" said Naruto, but Teuchi waved it off, starting to prepare the bowl.

Thinking about it, that was most likely Minato's tendencies kicking in again. The man liked ramen- if he hadn't, Naruto would have disowned him as a father- but he didn't eat loads of bowls at a sitting. Now, Kushina during her pregnancies, when she got cravings, it was mostly for ramen, and lots of it...

And Naruto almost fell out of his chair, as that triggered a memory of the occasion where Minato was successful in knocking Kushina up.

"Compliments of the house," said Teuchi, setting down a bowl of steaming ramen in front of Naruto. "Er...Naruto, something wrong?"

"I'm fine!" said Naruto quickly, starting to wolf down the ramen. Minato ate with more poise, but Naruto was too busy trying to blot out unwanted memories at the moment.

Ichiraku Ayame appeared, her hair visibly damp. "Father, you'll never believe this," she said irritably. "But I was at the bathhouse, when it turned out there was this creepy old pervert watching us!"

"...What?" said Naruto, looking up from his ramen, the vague description ringing a bell. "...Did this guy have long spiky white hair, strange head-gear and red face-paint? And an ugly outfit?"

"Yeah, that's right," said Ayame, before continuing her rant about perverts.

Naruto slurped down the rest of his ramen, and slapped down some money on the counter. "Thanks for the ramen, old man!" He said, as he left.

Ayame blinked as she looked at the single bowl of ramen. "...Did Naruto eat only one bowl?"

Teuchi nodded fearfully. "I'm scared as well."

Ayame uttered a silent prayer. It appeared the end was nigh.

Jiraiya giggled. The women had thought they had beaten him into a pulp, but he was back in a flash, ready to watch them through this hole in the fence.

"What do we have here?" said a voice behind him, and Jiraiya turned in an instant, his hands ready to cover his face (or somewhere else) in case it was a woman.

To his surprise, it was a short blonde boy.

"Heh...you should give me a good reason why I shouldn't kick you over the fence right now," said Naruto.

"Brat, get lost!" hissed Jiraiya furiously. "I'll give you a signed copy of Icha Icha Paradise later, get outta here!"

Naruto grinned. "Sorry, old man-"

"Have some respect for your elders, brat! Do you know that I am-"

"The Legendary Toad Sage, Jiraiya of the Sannin?" interrupted Naruto. "Yeah, I know. That's why I need you to train me."

Jiraiya snorted. "I'm not going to be training any brat-"

"Hey, you're speaking to a future Hokage," said Naruto. "It's Uzumaki Naruto."

That was it, Naruto knew. Now the man knew his name, and he would undoubtedly realise that he was the son of the Yondaime, and that he should train-

"Get lost kid, I'm busy."

Naruto narrowed his eyes. Now that was too far. He was on the verge of kicking Jiraiya over the wall, when Naruto decided to use his brains- once again, one of Minato's tendencies.

"A shame. I'd love to be trained by the famed Toad Hermit."

"A lot of people do, if you're going to stay, find your own gap in the fence."

Naruto carried on, ignoring Jiraiya's words. "I mean, you're a man with true skill, an example all shinobi should follow... I can't think of a finer shinobi than you."

That stopped Jiraiya dead, before he turned around slowly. "W-What?" He said, looking at Naruto as if he hadn't seen him properly the first time.

Naruto mimicked one of Minato's smiles for a moment, before turning away. "Well, too bad. Guess I'll see you round-"

And as Naruto heard Jiraiya's voice telling him to stop, he grinned.

"Right, so this is a fairly basic chakra-control exercise. Water-walking," instructed Jiraiya. "Start at the shallow end, before going on to the deeper. If you've mastered the tree-walking, this should be basic."

Naruto stepped cautiously onto the water, staying on for a second, before falling in.

Jiraiya burst out laughing as Naruto emerged soaking wet from the lake. "Heh, I knew I wouldn't regret this! Classic entertainment!"

'That's funny,' thought Naruto as he climbed out of the lake. 'I should've been able to do that...thinking about that, my chakra has been a little weird since the forest- damn! I forgot all about Orochimaru hitting me with his purple flames- a Five Element Seal!' He thought, correctly identifying it from Minato's memories. The man after all, had been an expert in fuinjutsu.

"Brat, what are you doing now?" said Jiraiya, as Naruto stripped to the waist (the upper layer, obviously).

"Look, sensei, firstly, my name is Naruto. Call me brat another time, and I'll call you something like...Ero-sennin. Secondly, a creep named Orochimaru hit me with a Five Elements Seal, and I think it's screwing up my chakra control."

"Orochimaru?" said Jiraiya. "Wait, how did you know it's a Five Elements Seal?" he asked/

Naruto mentally kicked himself, before lying. "Well, he did say "Five Elements Seal" as he hit me with it."

Jiraiya seemed to accept that, and approached Naruto as the Kyuubi's seal became visible, the Five Elements Seal also visible over it. "Here brat- Naruto, I'll get rid of it."

Within short moments, the seal was dispelled.

Naruto strolled onto the lake, calmly walking with ease. 'It must've been the Five Elements Seal that gave me Minato's memories. Good that taking it away didn't take away the memories...I suppose I've always had them, but the seal shook them loose."

"Hey, Naruto! Stop mucking around!" said Jiraiya. "Fine, I've decided to teach you a very specific jutsu."

'I hope it's Rasengan,' thought Naruto. 'I still know how to do it, and I need an excuse so people won't wonder why I know it...'

"I'm going to let you sign the Toad Summoning Contract!"

Naruto stopped for a moment, as he'd technically signed the contract once already. But he waved away any worries with a smile.

He couldn't wait to see Gamabunta again.

AN: I rushed over a lot of things in this chapter, but you know me, I hate going over every single little thing so I can make a chapter about eight pages longer.

The world of fanfics must remain in a delicate balance. Chapters must be long enough to provide a decent read, and if it is to be really fucking long, it better be damn fuckin' good.

A couple of things- yeah, Naruto doesn't seem entirely like Minato, but the melding of their personalities is more of a long-term thing, basically, it doesn't happen overnight.

As for the use of Japanese names, well, since I've started writing Metal Gear, which is all English, I figured I may as well make up for it and use all Japanese here.

Suppose I'd better put up a glossary...

Henge- Transform

Katon: Goukakyu no Jutsu- Fire Element: Great Fireball Technique

Oh, and a couple more things. Firstly, Naruto won't learn Hiraishin for quite a while. We'll see why soon. Secondly, he won't be able to use Rasengan till Jiraiya "teaches him" how to do so (he'll probably master each step instantly on purpose).

Last, but not least, the dreaded question of pairings. Haven't decided, and it'll probably take a long while anyway. No, no harems either, because really, they'd never happen. Maybe for one night if a group got really hammered, but that won't happen.

Expect to see many things that are not similar to canon.