Balloons

Chapter Two

AN: So here is the second and final instalment of Balloons. It is my most unreviewed MMHG work, but it was also the most fun I've ever had writing a fic…so, I guess I didn't lose a thing at all!! I hope you all who are still reading enjoyed it just as much as I have… : - )

"It's almost eight! They should be here any minute!" Pomona practically shouted as the anticipation began to bubble beneath her equally bubbly persona.

"Places everyone!" Xiomara commanded as the entirety of the Hogwarts' staff ran frantically Chinese Fire Drill style to their random hiding places throughout the ornately decorated room.

When everyone was nearly invisible, minus Hagrid, who was doing his best to hide underneath the large meeting table, the lighting was diminished and all was set. Now all that they needed was Minerva and Albus to come prancing through the doors, deeply engrossed in the issue of the Whomping Willow. It was an idea brought by Hagrid, of all people, when he was observing the grounds with Fang, and the great dumb brute hand gone to fetch a stick, but he soon and painfully found out that it was in fact an uprooted underbranch of the parched tree.

"Shh! I think they're coming!" Hissed Xiomara from behind a stack of presents.

"Oh yes, Albus, after undoing the damage done by Potter and Weasley, I can understand the concern for the tree," rambled Minerva as the pair opened the door to the lounge.

"Oh my. Albus…Are you sure we're in the right-"

"SURPRISE!"

Minerva's heart nearly skipped a few beats as the lights came up and everyone popped out. Hagrid, in his excited efforts, had overturned the large table under which he had been trying to hide.

Her next reaction caused everyone present to burst into a roar of laughter. Minerva turned immediately to Albus and slapped him across his cheek. Not hard, mind you, but still violent enough to cause a slight sting. "Well my dear, I knew you didn't care for surprises, but I also didn't think you would take it that bad."

Everyone save Minerva chuckled again. "Albus Dumbledore!" She huffed. "You had me pouring my heart out over that damn tree! I HATE that old thing!"

A single tear rolled down Pomona's cheek as she pulled out a jar containing a dead branch from said tree. As she stroked it lovingly, she cooed, "She didn't mean it, love…don't you listen to her…"

At this very moment, Severus Snape came rushing through the door, panting as if he had just completed a marathon. "What on earth…Big crash…Everything ok?"

Minerva stared at the man with a raised eyebrow. "Yes." She replied stoically.

Hagrid brushed himself off and stood from the floor. "Yeh. Jus' had a sligh' mishap with the table here, is all."

Severus finally caught his fingers through his hair coolly. "Good lord, I was brewing a hydrating serum for the tree when the whole thing was suddenly shot to hell…I suppose the tremors came from your accident, Hagrid…"

More words of the Whomping Willow infuriated Minerva to the brink of insanity. "For Merlin's sake, it's a TREE!" she ranted, waving her arms about. "For all I care, it would be of greater use cut and polished into some decent brooms for the quidditch teams!"

Hermione's jaw nearly hit the floor as she witnessed the first meltdown from her (beloved and beyond) former professor.

Hermione had always admired her marm of a Transfiguration professor, but ever since she had become part of the staff at Hogwarts and had gotten closer to Minerva, Hermione had begun to develop a taste for Ginger Newts and Tea late in the evening.

They would chat about everything from students to staff and beyond, and had formed a deeper bondage…erm, bond, as Hermione shook her head.

"Now, who wants cake?" Hermione declared as she tried to cut through the thick chord of tension.

Xiomara, who was rather exhausted from all the planning and prepping, decided that cake was not a strong enough remedy for the ailment she had developed. "Bugger the damn cake!" She cried. "What's a birthday celebration without liquor?"

Hagrid became so enthused at this particular exclamation that he raised his fist into the air with a roar of agreement.

Everyone stopped and stared for what seemed an eternity until finally everyone eventually shrug their shoulders in passive compliance and decided, "TO HELL WITH IT!"

So, as unseemingly horrific as this may sound, it did indeed come to pass. And, as seemingly as can be assumed, it was horrific.

Severus had somehow managed to find himself nude by a third round of drinks, and by the fifth, he was wearing Xiomara's drawers and her bra was fastened around his chest.

Flitwick was seated in Hagrid's shoe, where he was stroking his beard and singing lullabies to it.

Pomona and Poppy were on their heads propped up against the wall in hopes to add some time onto their lives. (Which was, quite sadly, the most logical idea of the entire evening.)

Minerva had banned Hermione from consuming any more alcohol when, during only the second round, she had declared herself the queen of boobs, and went to take her top off.

Albus had snuck out unnoticed sometime between a drunken Hagrid trying to kiss him and a pissed Minerva trying to hex him.

So here was Minerva, the only "sober" soul left in this motley crew. Realizing that this evening was exactly what she had planned only with extra entertainment, Minerva decided to cut her losses and drink until she couldn't tell if she was wearing knickers.

Hermione was lying on the floor in a semi-conscious state, complaining about being slightly chilly.

Being a decent drunk and an even better sport, Minerva decided she had a good way to keep her warm. She sat her empty glass on a nearby sleeping half-giant and fought with all her half-drunken might to transfigure into her cat form. On the first try she merely managed a tail, and on the second she still had hair pins fastened to her ears. By the time she had finally gotten it right, Poppy and Pomona had fallen over, exhausted.

She glanced over to see Severus and Xio spooning, with Xiomara's hands inside the bra around the potion master's chest. Another look showed Filius' legs dangling over the top of Hagrid's gargantuan boot.

Then she turned to Hermione. There was something strangely attractive about the flush to her cheeks and the way she was sprawled on the floor. "Oh hello, kitty," she said softly as Minerva gently placed all four paws on the young woman's torso.

"Meow," cried Minerva as Hermione began to stroke her gray coat. Hermione smiled contently when Minerva began to purr somewhat like an old automobile.

The tabby started to knead her paws as cats often do before they lay down in comfort.

The stroking slowly subsided and the chill left the young woman. Something about Minerva's presence so intimately close put her at a warming ease.

Soon all were sleeping with thoughts of love, comfort, friendship, youth, and even growth spurts winding through their dreams.

Albus lay in his bed, thinking of the novel to be read tomorrow as Minerva woke from her drunken splendour. He soon too, drifted off to sleep, and for possibly the first time in Hogwarts' history, all was still and peaceful.

Until…

Morning dawned. Yes, early Saturday morning came as such mornings often do. However, as Albus strolled into the very room he had just previously been mere hours ago, he realized that his colleagues were still in a half-sedated slumber.

Now, I know what thoughts are being thought right now.

Everyone assumes that Albus Million Middle Names Dumbledore is the most sincere and sensitive wizard to ever exist. Oh no, dear reader, while a chivalrous wizard he may be, also is he merely a member of the male species. Thus, he found himself unable to resist a devastatingly male moment.

He placed his hands in his pockets, raised an eyebrow mischievously, and chewed the inside of his cheek while rocking back and forth from heel to toe.

And it came to him.

It came to him like a bee comes to honey…and how SWEET this maniacal scheme would be…

Albus sat on the overturned table and glanced around the room of dischord. To Xiomara and Severus, to Pomona and Poppy, to Filius and the Boot, to Hagrid and…well, Albus assumed that this is where his name would go, to Minerva and Hermione, and …to the balloons…The round and colourful rubber orbs floating playfully as if they were gossiping about the events of last night to one another.

Then he listened.

Not a sound! The still and placid unmoving peace rang almost as intensely as if a war were going on in another world.

He glanced once more up at the ceiling full of balloons and listened just ever so much harder.

He closed his eyes and stretched his arms forth and upward.

(Wait, does anyone else perceive a vision of Moses here?? Lol…)

In a small and insignificant moment, a very large and infamous mishap occurred.

KABOOM!

The sound was that of several canons, and the disturbance had quite predictable effects.

All shot up immediately, but the best reaction came from the gray tabby. So spooked was the cat that it raced, fur on end, frantically searching for a place to perch.

Unfortunately for Severus Snape, such a place was his head. She absolutely refused to move, terrified beyond belief. Severus gave his best efforts to remove her, but her biting upon his knuckles made it damn near impossible!

Hermione rushed over, whispering soft words of comfort. "Shh…There there, it was only the balloons, love!"

Finally Minerva calmed herself and came out of her cat form…still perched atop Severus' head full of hair.

Albus could not find the means to stop his rolling laughter. "Minerva…" He giggled. "I thought you were afraid of nothing! Balloons?!" He continued. "Minerva McGonagall…scared of BALLOONS!"

Now, as we all know and understand Minerva's Scottish temper, (not to mention early in the morning after an evening of alcohol) we are not surprised by the events that next came to pass.

"Albus. Dumbledore." She snarled choppily. "I'll give your sorry arse a gracious five second head start, but be warned, I am deadly fast in cat form." Her tone was so serious that no one in the room dared to breathe.

Albus stopped his laughter immediately and just stood as if he were bronzed.

By the time Minerva had counted to three, prowling ever closer, Albus took off at a dead sprint…To where, he had no idea, but he had to go away, and quickly, as Minerva began to gain on him.

Back in the room, Hermione sighed. "I give him three minutes. Tops."

His cries could still be heard throughout the corridors. "Now Minerva, be reasonable!"

Pomona shook her head as she pulled Filius from the boot by his stubby leg. "I told you the blowloons were a mistake."

The last thing anyone heard was a loud and unforgiving hiss and an ear piercing scream as yet another balloon, as if on cue, burst to jolt everyone and cause an ironic wave of laughter.

So there was a mess at Hogwarts, the staff was in disarray, and Minerva and Albus were battling…

All was restored to normal in the castle, all thanks to…

Balloons.

AN2: okay, so that is the end of it! It wasn't as much MMHG as I'm used to, but I enjoyed being outside my little dramatic box for if only a little while…lol. Like I said, the story came to me as my kitty popped a balloon in my house…(I HATE balloons!!) Thanks to hermin22, who helped me conceptualize this fic, and I dedicate it to all who are afraid of little things they shouldn't be afraid of….much love!

Ashton