CD – 4:30AM
2 years.
2 long empty years.
2 years since he left; without calling, or visiting.
Within those 2 years I had gone from a fun, confident, flirtatious woman to this. A pathetic excuse, for what used to be. 2 years after running down an air-terminal after him, to realize I was too late.
So here I am, sitting and crying, because… because that's all I can do, before I had to put on my mask, and go to work.
--WORK--
Work; the one place I could still act 'normal'. At work I was the 'focused' me; determined, disciplined, and intelligent. The only aspects of the 'old' me that remained.
"Hey Honey, here's your bullet."
"Thanks Alexx," I said, not looking up from the microscope. The last thing I needed today was for Alexx to look me in the eye. She could read me, almost as well as he could.
"Calleigh…"
"Yeah?"
"How you holdin' up?"
" 'Course Alexx, why wouldn't I be?" I said, still avoiding eye contact.
"You know the date today, right?" she said (probably with that look on her face).
"Alexx –"
"Don't Alexx me. Look at me. Calleigh Duquesne, look at me."
I sighed and looked up. "Alexx, I'm fine."
"Babe, if you need any –"
"I'll let you know."
"Good, now can I have a hug?"
"Sure," I said giving in to her embrace, tears leaking out of the corners of my eyes.
"It's okay honey. Let it all out," she said, rubbing my back.
"I miss him, Alexx. I miss my… my… my bestfriend," I sobbed.
"We all do Babe, we all do."