Just a Shell

Chapter 14

Dear bros,

I can't stay here. I'm making everything worse. If I leve [leave], Donnie will get better, and you guys can be a family again. Don't worry, I'll come back. If I go, then I won't be able to eat anymore, and when I lose enough wait [weight] then I'll come home again. It will all be okay soon, I promice [promise]. Don't bother looking for me, I'm gonna stay hidden and you won't be able to find me.

-Mikey

*

Even though Donatello automatically corrected Michelangelo's spelling in his mind, the words still struck him with instant fear. All three brothers and their father read the letter, feeling a mixture of confusion and horror. Mikey was in danger out there, the Foot could be searching for him that very moment, and he was weaker then usual. Splinter told Donatello to stay, while the three of them swept the sewers, but Donatello couldn't do that. It was his fault his little brother had left. He couldn't just sit there and wait, twiddling his thumbs while his brother could be hurt.

So after his brothers and father left, he followed suit. He didn't know where Mikey would have gone, but he went the opposite direction oh his brothers. He didn't care how long it took, he had to find Mikey. He had to apologize now, before it was too late. Donatello was slow, he stumbled a lot, and the sewer kept spinning around him, but he didn't care.

The normally familiar sewers were foreign and frightening. Every time he turned he felt like he was further and further from his goal. Mikey was nowhere to be found, and Donatello felt nauseous.

Then he saw them. It was only a few seconds from them being all the way down the sewer to surrounding him. The Foot. All around him. And he was left defenseless. He had his bo, but he was currently using it to keep himself standing upright, and he almost positive that he wouldn't be able to keep standing without it.

He saw the desire in their eyes. They saw he was weak. He wouldn't be able to put up a fight. They had been trying to capture him for years, and here he was on a platter, with no way to fight back. The first one came from behind, kicking the back of his legs. Donatello fell forward, almost falling all the way down but catching himself on his elbows and knees.

The next hit wasn't as gentle. The man aimed for his head, stamping on it with his foot. Donatello's face hit the hard metal without anything to soften the blow. He tasted blood, and he knew that it was bad. He cried out and tried to push himself up, only to be kicked to the side and fall onto his back.

"Get away from him!"

Donatello heard the voice, and suddenly his wounds were meaningless. He felt no pain. Mikey was okay.

"Mikey… Don't…" He groaned, looking through the eye that could open.

Mikey ignored him and jumped between his attacker and held his ground. He put up a good fight, he managed to knock seven guys onto their butts. Unfortunately, their were thirty Foot, and only one Michelangelo. Donatello was left to watch helplessly while they all trampled over his younger brother, beating him to a pulp. Donnie tried to stand, tried to get to Mikey, to help his brother, but he couldn't. He couldn't even move.

They kicked and punched until Michelangelo stopped moving. Donatello screamed, pushing himself upwards. He had to get to Mikey. Then he saw his brothers. Raph and Leonardo jumped between the attackers and Michelangelo now, fighting them back. Splinter followed steed.

Donatello crawled closer, the Foot stomped onto his hand, but he didn't stop. He kept inching towards Michelangelo, and then pulled himself on top of his brother. He lowered his head onto Michelangelo's chest. Mikey was unconscious, but his breaths were even, his heart was beating. Comforted by that fact, Donatello let himself fall into darkness, protecting his baby brother with his own body.

Mikey woke with a throbbing headache, wondering where he was. When he saw the living room ceiling he blinked his confusion. He had left the lair, hadn't he?

"Mikey!" Leo said, wrapping his arms around him. "Thank goodness."

Michelangelo smiled for a minute and then sat up.

"What am I doing here?!" he asked urgently. "I have to go.""No." Leonardo said sternly. "Mikey, you're injured, and you're vulnerable."

"Where's Donnie?" Michelangelo asked, remembering how injured his older brother had been.

"He's asleep. Raph's with him, he's fine." Leonardo said.

"I can't be here when he wakes up." Michelangelo said, standing up. He felt all the food he'd eaten hours ago trying to crawl up his throat, but he swallowed it along with a bit of blood. "It'll make him worse."

"He'll get worse if you disappear." Leonardo corrected. "He went out looking for you. We told him to stay here, we went, and he went anyway. He needs you."

Mikey sat down when Leo nudged him backwards. He drew his legs into his body, and found that one of his ankles was actually twisted. In his worry, he hadn't noticed the pain when he was standing.

"Donnie won't be able to get better if I'm here, reminding him of everything he hates." He said, biting his lip. "He'll keep throwing up, he'll start not eating again. He'll die if I stay."

Leonardo sighed and pushed Michelangelo back further, making his lay down. Mikey whimpered and tried to shake his head in disagreement, but the commanding stare that Leonardo gave him made him stay down.

"He loves you." Leonardo said, picking up a washcloth and wiping Mikey's forehead with it. His little brother was beginning to get a fever. "No one wants you to leave. I told you, he wasn't in the right state of mind."

"He…he said he meant it." Michelangelo said, closing his eyes.

"He said a lot of things." Leo said. "But he regrets them. He told me he did. He just wanted to protect you."

Michelangelo fell silent, unable to answer that, but screaming in his mind. Why would Donatello want to protect him?

Meanwhile, in Donatello's room, Raphael was busily washing out his brother's wounds, wrapping them. He wasn't as bad as it looked. The only serious injuries where his face, and those where just cuts and two shiny black eyes. One of his legs was broken, Raphael had to splint it and wrap it. He didn't even get any of his teeth knocked out, which was lucky considering how weak they had gotten from throwing up so much.

When he was done fixing Donnie up, he just sat beside him, looking at his brother. He was so thin, frail-looking. He could see the bones in his fingers, and even his lower legs too. There was barely any fat or muscle on his body.

"You're stupid, Donnie." He said, shaking his head. "So stupid. I don't care how smart you are."

He placed his forehead on Donatello's shell, listening to him breath. He found little comfort in that. Donatello was breathing, but for how much longer? If he didn't eat, didn't keep his food down... Not much longer.

"I'm sorry…" He said, he let a tear escape. He didn't care about being tough anymore. He just wanted his brother back. "I'm so sorry…"

"Me… too." Donatello's voice called out faintly. "It's… not your… fault, Raph."

"Yes it is…" Raphael said, growling it out. "I said those things."

"You didn't mean them… Did you?" The last two words came out full of hope, but it was thin hope. As if he were trying to convince himself.

"No, Donnie. No. I didn't mean any of it. I just say stupid things." he said. "You know I never think before I talk. Half of what I say don't make any sense."

"I know." Donatello said, sitting up a bit. "Is Michelangelo okay? Is he awake?"

"Not the last time I saw him, but he might be now." Raphael said, standing up and covertly wiping his tears away. "You wanna see him? I can help yah."

Donatello nodded and reached out to his brother, knowing he wasn't going to stand up on his own with the splint and his feebleness. Raphael lifted him up and let him lean against himself as they made their way to the living room. Leo looked up as they walked in and smiled.

Donatello stumbled over to the couch using Raphael as a crutch. When Mikey saw him the younger brother blushed and looked away, pulling the blanket that was on his legs up to his chin.

"Mikey…" Donatello whispered, sitting down at Michelangelo's feet.

"Uh… We'll go." Leonardo said, motioning for Raphael to follow him out of the room. Neither of the younger brothers said anything as the two older ones left.

They sat in silence for awhile, until Donatello finally spoke up.

"I'm so sorry, Mike…" He said, looking at the ground. "I didn't mean what I said, I swear. I just… I was scared, and I didn't want anyone near me… I wanted you to hate me."

"I don't…" Mikey said, his voice soft. "I couldn't hate you."

"You should, for what I said." Donatello told him. "I know it hurt you. I'm sorry.""I deserved it, anyway." Mikey said, shrugging. "You were right. I'm pretty useless. I couldn't defend you, could I?"

"Mikey…" Donatello said, lowering his head. "You aren't worthless. You're worth everything to me. I wouldn't be here without you."

Michelangelo bit his lip and fiddled with his hands, not knowing what to say.

"I… I'm making you worse." He said. Donatello didn't let him continue.

"No you aren't. You made me better, don't you get it? I wouldn't have started eating if it weren't for you. I would have kept starving myself, eating nothing but toast and water." he shook his head. "I screwed up. I'm sorry. But I swear it was only that one time, and it wasn't your fault."

A moment of stillness, and then Mikey nodded.

"Okay…" He said. "I… I don't know what to say…"

Donatello heard the tears building up in Mikey's throat.

"We'll get through this, Mike." Donatello promised, taking his brother's hand. "We'll do it together."

"I hate this." Mikey said, shaking. "I don't want to be so messed up.""I know." Donnie said, smiling a bit. "Me either."

They sat in silence for a minute, then Michelangelo sat up, pushing back the blanket. He looked at his arms and legs, then he looked over at Donatello's.

"I'm really big." He said, Donatello noticed his younger brothers blush before Mikey looked away.

This knocked Donatello for a loop. Not because Michelangelo said it, or because he thought it wasn't true (Because it was true, Mikey had gained a lot of weight), but because he hadn't really noticed. For three months now, Michelangelo had been eating almost non-stop, and he was bigger from it. His arms and legs where soft, he had a double chin, and his thighs almost touched… And Donnie hadn't even care. If anyone in the world where going to spot out these things and criticize Mikey for it, wouldn't it be Don? Wasn't this the one thing he'd been paying such close attention to for -months-? But… He really hadn't. He yelled at Mikey earlier, called him a pig, but that was more about how Michelangelo was eating, not how much he weighed.

"Yeah." Donnie said. "And I'm really small."

Mikey sighed and leaned forward, blinking a few times. He must have been dizzy.

"We should both get some sleep." Donatello noted, patting Mike on the head. "We'll deal with this later?"

"Yeah…" Michelangelo said.

"…Can you sleep in my room?" Donatello asked. "It's cold without you for some reason."

Mikey smiled and stood up, staying off his bad ankle as he helped Donnie up. They stumbled to the stairs, but realized neither of them could get up the stairs, even with each other. One with a bad ankle, one with a broken leg, and both of them weak. They called out to their brothers to help.

As they lay side-by-side on Donatello's bed, Donnie looked down at his younger brother. He was everything Donatello was afraid of being, wasn't he? Mikey was fat. No way around it, Don thought as he looked down at the youngest turtle. Then why didn't Donatello hate him?

He looked at Mikey's cherubic face with a smile. He didn't hate Mikey. Neither did Leonardo or Raphael. That was what finally clicked in his mind. It didn't matter what the brothers looked like, or how beneficial they were to the team, they were brothers, and they all loved each other.

Michelangelo was overweight, and Donatello loved him. That was all that mattered. And he would keep loving him. It would be the same if the positions were flipped, Mikey would love him. Donatello finally realized that. He smiled and brought his hand up to Mikey's face, feeling how soft and round it was and he smiled.

"We're gonna get better…" He repeated to himself, Mikey was asleep. "We really are, I promise Mikey..."

A/N: Yeah, I know the order of the middle two brothers (Raph and Donnie) is a debatable subject. XD That's why I hadn't used any younger and older subtext with them until this chapter. I'm sure no one really cares THAT much, so I made Donnie younger, even tough that is not as popular… I've been building up to this chapter since the very beginning. Donatello finally realizes his brothers would love him no matter what, thanks to Michelangelo's circumstance. Awww. How sweet.