Title: Sober

Author: kerumica

Fandom: Bleach

Pairing: none

Warning/Rating: pg13 (for drunken stupidity)

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Leave me be.

A/N: peppermint quartz wrote a ficcy about the 80th birthday celebrations of some of the Captains and Vice Captains. Apparently, Matsumoto was sober for hers. I asked why and she said she had no idea, perhaps I could share the details, and then ended it with "hint hint". That sounded like a challenge, so I threw this together. It ain't great, but it does explain the reason behind the sobriety. Hope you enjoy :D

She never should have made that stupid bet. Who would have thought it would come back to bite her in the ass.

"Psst, hey, Matsumoto."

"Hey, Kaku, what's up?"

"Meh, I'm bored. Hey, you wanna play a game?"

She should have walked away then, but she was way past 'too-drunk-to-know-better' and this had not been one of their better ideas.

Sneak into the Kuchiki estate; get the kenseikan and leave, simple as that. Too bad she fell off the wall, ripped her uniform, fell into a koi pond and proceeded to "accidently" knock over the small garden memorial to the Captain's late wife. She was lucky she got to keep her life and her job after that.

As punishment, she got the pleasure of spending the next thirty days as Captain Kuchiki's personal assistant. She was practically at his beck and call, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Which was why…

"Uhm, Captain? I was wondering. Tomorrow is my birthday and a bunch of the guys are throwing me a party. I was hoping, maybe, if you didn't mind, if I could take the day off?"

"Do you wish to die, Lieutenant?"

"Sir? No, sir!"

"Then my answer is no."

And this was how she spent what was supposed to be her eightieth birthday in the company of Captain Kuchiki and several of his elderly relatives, serving tea.