This is what happens when I read a Lord of the Rings FanFiction.

He has gone completely insane, but someone does get set on fire!

For those of you that haven't read me earlier Fan Fictions, that was my Pyromaniac Leprechaun. He talks in bold.

Yep! That's me! He has finally set someone on fire I'm so proud of him. tears up.

This is a random FanFiction I wrote, because I have writers block. I'm really sorry if they seem OOC, but it has been about a year since I read the books and a couple of months since I watched the movies. They're all a little drunk though, so they should be just a bit OOC. And if I repeat some of the conversations from the books/movies, then I apologize for it. But I think all the times I do it not all of the characters in the room, at that time have heard.

In other words, don't whine!

The story start with Legolas and Gimli in a room at the castle Aragon inherited after he became king. This all take place after The Return of the King.

DUH!

P.S. I don't own Lord of the Rings

Double duh!

No reason to be so mean!

--

"Legolas?"

"Yes Gimli?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did!"

Legolas and Gimli both burst out laughing.

"That was a good one lad!" Gimli said through a fit of giggles. "But I still got to ask ya somethin."

"Okay, Gimli. What is it?"

"Well, you and me have been through a lot of battles, right?"

"Hum… yes, we've been through a ton of battles together."

"Well, in every battle that we the enemies we've slain, you seem to win."

"True," Legolas said with a smirk, "but you do do your fair share of than killin."

Gimli burst out laughing. "You said do-do!"

Legolas joined in laughing. "You're right! I did say do-do!"

After a couple minutes of uncontrollable laughter, Gimli regained his composure. "Well, you have killed quite a few people… orcs… goblins… those giant mammoth things, and never once to I remember you buying, or retrieving, or making arrows."

"What's your point?"

"Where do they freaking come from!?"

"Oh… that's simple, they come from…" A quizzical look crossed his face. "You know, I never thought about it. But I have never bought, retrieved, or made an arrow."

They both looked at the other side of the room to where Legolas's bow and the scrutinized quiver, surely containing no more than thirty to forty arrows, rested in a chair. The two heroes looked at each other for a moment before Gimli spoke.

"Count them?"

Legolas responded with a brief nod. They both ran over to the chair holding their weapons. Legolas grabbed the first arrow and counted, "One." Gimli took hold of the arrow and laid it on the bed behind them.

"Two." Gimli took the second arrow and laid it down next to the first. This procedure continued for about twelve minutes.

"Four hundred sixty-three..."

"Stop!" Gimli shouted. "We've been at this for nearly twelve minutes! The bloody thing still looks like it's full!"

"But look at all of the arrows we've taken out!" Legolas retorted, pointing at the bed. It now held a three-foot-tall stack of arrows spanning the entire surface of the king-sized mattress. "You know what, Gimli? Aragon is going to be pissed when he sees this."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, you know how high-strung he's been since he became king."

"Yeah… so?"

"Well, we did just fill a whole room with a magical never ending supply of arrows, not to mention that we got into the royal wine cellar… and drank about half of it." Legolas said this with a worried look on his face.

"Ah… I see your point lad; he will be very mad indeed."

"We will have to get rid of the evidence."

"True. But before we do I have a question."

"Oh no… your questions are what got us into this mess!" Legolas said reproachfully.

"Exactly. That's why I should ask before we destroy the evidence."

"Hum… that isa good point. What's the question?"

"Well, Legolas I was wondering...how do you always stay so bloody clean?"

"That one is easy; I bathe, unlike some people." Legolas said accused.

"First: I do bath! Second: I meant how is it that in every battle, when the dust is swirling and so thick you can barely see, that you GLOW!?"

"I don't glow, I shine!"

"How?"

"I don't know. It just happens."

"Hum… okay, that's good enough for me. Now, how do we clean this up?" Gimli said, gesturing to the arrows and empty wine bottles.

"I know! We burn the arrows and hid the bottles!"

"Are you daft!? We could set the whole building on fire!"

"Nope, the walls are made of stone! Stone doesn't burn." Legolas grinned at the genius of his plan.

They piled the arrows higher on the bed and gathered the wine bottles, "Oh man!" Legolas exclaimed.

"What?" asked Gimli, concerned.

"I spilled wine on my shirt!" he complained. Gimli rolled his eyes and continued to clean up the mess. "You know what, Gimli. I think this wine is flammable."

"What makes you say that?"

"This bottle has three X's on the label."

"You're right--this stuff will burn like whiskey, if not better."

"Let's put it in with the arrows so they'll burn faster."

"That's a good idea, elf!"

"The only kind I have!"

After they had put all the mostly empty wine bottles in with the arrows, Gimli procured a flint box. "I think that since it's your plan, you should do the honors," the dwarf said to the elf.

"Sure thing," he said. He took the box from Gimli and struck the flint. "Holy shit!" Legolas shouted as he saw his left arm and torso catch fire along with the pile of arrows.

Gimli was beside himself with laughter as he watched his comrade 'stop drop and roll' all around the room.

"What the hell is so freaking funny, dwarf?!" Legolas roared after extinguished himself.

"I told you!"

"Told me what?"

"You glow!"