A/N: Well. I haven't written in forever, and I still need to update 'Six years' but I'm stuck on how to progress it. Anyway, this fic will be multi chaptered, the idea for it just randomly came into my head the other day, then I forgot it, then I remembered again. So yeah, if it sucks, tell me so I won't continue with it :)

WARNING: This deals with self injury, so if you don't like it, don't read.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Nada, zip, zilch.

They carried on screaming at each other, the words 'divorce' and 'affair' were tossed in the air like autumn leaves. A thirteen year old Addison sat on the stairs, tears streaming down her face as she listened to her parents tear each other down to pieces.

Why her? Why her parents?

She turned and scrambled up the stairs to her bedroom, having heard enough. Why was it, that one moment, everything seemed so perfect, so in place, but the next moment it all collapsed around her, her world falling apart?

"Why us?" She wondered aloud, sitting on the edge of her bed. For as long as she could remember, her parents had been the elite New York couple whom everyone had been jealous of. They had it all, looks, money, love. Well, she thought they had love. Everyone still thinks they have it.

Addison sighed, curling up on her bed, trying to shut out the loud, muffled voices from below. She wanted to sleep, no, wake up from this nightmare. She pinched herself, relishing in the slight pain relief it provided. She sat up, rubbing her skin. Glancing around the room, her gaze fell upon a blade of silver, in the form of her sharpener. She slowly walked toward it, picking it up with her left hand. She pressed it against her wrist, drawing it toward her, flinching slightly at the pain and blood that drew from it. She felt released from something, concentrating on the pain it gave other than how she felt internally. She felt alive.

Addison walked down the hallway of her new high school, searching for her homeroom.

"Need any help?" Addison turned to see a tall guy, of around six feet, she guessed.

"Yeah, I'm trying to find Mrs Derbyshire's room?"

The guy laughed, before pointing behind her. "It's right there."

Addison sighed, plastering a smile on her face. "Of course," She said graciously, "Thank you." She turned to knock on the door, only to be interrupted.

"I'm Derek," He offered, "Derek Shepherd."

She gave him a somewhat shy smile, before returning the gesture. "Addison. Addison Montgomery."

"See you around," He smiled, walking down the hall. Addison smiled to herself, turning back to knock on the door of her new homeroom.

--

"Who's the new chick?" Mark nudged Derek, staring at Addison in the cafeteria. Derek turned to watch her buy a chicken salad from the food court, not noticing Mark waving in his face.

"Dude, she has you whipped already!" Mark laughed, slapping his back.

"Shut up, Mark." Derek felt a slight blush creeping up his cheeks. He watched Addison sit down at a table at the far end of the cafeteria, setting her tray down. He noticed she was sat alone, but she didn't seem deterred by this, she simply brought out a book from her bag and started reading, occasionally taking a bite of her salad.

"Hey."

Addison looked up, surprised to see Derek standing there. "Hey."

"Can I sit?" Derek gestured to a spare seat. Addison nodded, putting down her book. Derek sat, taking a bite of his apple he had brought with him. She smiled uncomfortably, not knowing what to say.

"So how was your first morning of this oh-so entertaining high school?"

"Not great, but not bad either," Addison replied, "Mrs Derbyshire's a great teacher, but I'm sure Mr Harte is an undercover cop, he's suspicious on absolutely everything."

"Ah, good old Mr Harte, I'm sure all math teachers are like that, but he is just... him."

Addison grinned, taking a bite of chicken. Derek watched her, noticing the little details of her face, the corners of her mouth being pulled up by her smiles, her eyes, how she seemed all-together at one glance, but he saw a myriad of emotions, feelings, of Addison. He knew there was more to her than what met the eye, and he was intrigued.

"So, how did you come to Hartford?" Derek's innocent question raised up panicked glances from Addison, quickly masked by an air of cool innocence.

"My mom got a new job," She shrugged. Well it's true, she thought, but he doesn't need to know the whole truth."

--

"We're moving where?" Addison asked, panic rising through her like bile. "But I like it here!"

"Addison, we're moving, I am most certainly not staying in the same city as your father, especially after three insufferable years living in the same house waiting for the divorce to go through!"

"Then why can't I stay with him?" Silence erupted in the room, Addison wishing she could take her words back, unable to breathe.

"Because," Her mother said in a tight, clipped tone, "You are coming with me." At that, she grabbed Addison's wrist, not noticing the small cry of pain that was uttered, pulling her out of the brownstone and into the waiting cab.

"Can't I at least say goodbye to dad?" Addison timidly asked. She inwardly sighed to herself, sixteen years old and she was still scared of her own mother.

There was never a reply, just a reflection of a cool, hardened face in the window.

--

It was the end of the school day, and Addison had just gotten home. A smile haunted her lips as she replayed hers and Derek's conversation from their lunch hour. A door banged shut upstairs, followed by a thunderous roar of high heels against wooden flooring. Addison sighed to herself, quickly moving into the kitchen as to avoid the whirlwind that was her mother.

"Addison, go fix your hair, you look like you've been out all day," Came the bark from Dominique Montgomery.

"I HAVE been out all day."

"Don't talk to me like that young lady. Go fix it. And what's with the sweater? It's about a hundred degrees out. Go change into something more suitable."

Addison rolled her eyes and marched upstairs, subconsciously pulling the sleeves of her sweater down over her hands, so everything was concealed. She locked herself in her room, immediately heading to her dresser, opening the drawer to reveal a sharp pair of scissors.

Just one more, and then I'll stop.

Why do it? I had a good day at school.

My mother is driving me crazy.

Does she even love me?

I wish I could talk to my dad.

Where is he?

Would anyone notice if I was gone?

A million thoughts running through her head, she gingerly picked up the pair of scissors, opening them so that she held a blade to her skin.

I could end it right now. I could end my life, I have that control. I'm holding something that could easily mean the end of life as I know it.

They plagued her mind as she cut deeper into her skin, the rational part of her mind screaming to stop. She watched the blood trickle down into her hand, wiping it away to see what would become yet another scar.

No one has to know.

A/N: Yeah, that's it, the introductory chapter. Should I continue or not? Please review and tell me what you think.. honestly. Thanks :)