Dear Reader,

I hope you enjoy the story you're about to read. It's hard to believe that soon, Watch the Rain Fall will be a decade old. It was written in my teenage years, and represents the culmination of some dear memories, including when I had some dear friends.

Also, it was written in my teenage years, which inevitably means there are some parts of it I now find boring, terrible, or even downright irresponsible. Largely, sexuality is presented poorly in this story. I was just discovering the very existence of a sexual world out there, and plenty of it was still unknown to me at the time.

First of all, your "first time" doesn't need to be painful, I can't stress this enough. That's a myth. To put it succinctly, that usually happens when a partner isn't sufficiently aroused. If you're still having trouble, lube is a good thing, or see a doctor if you're concerned that something's wrong.

Secondly, this story deals with emotional abuse... Sort of. It's a mark of my conflicted and young writing that while I wanted Syaoran to be harsh with Sakura, I didn't want him to be so cruel to her that his actions were unforgiveable. The result is an unclear narrative that presents sexuality as something a teenage boy can't control (false), emotional abuse as easily swept under the rug (also false), and unconditional forgiveness as a virtue in a partner (false).

Emotional abuse comes in many forms, but the most common form causes people to feel like they have to suppress their own needs or emotions to make way for their partner's. It often happens because a partner wants to be in control of their partner - in fact, believes they're entitled to do so. None of that is portrayed in this story. However, Syaoran does irresponsibly take advantage of Xing Lin's feelings, and justifies it to himself as something he can't help. It's not quite emotional abuse, but it's definitely something that a partner should take seriously, as a situation like that can be a precursor to it. In retrospect, I was too young to understand what I was writing about and the result is a story with a subtle message that I can't condone.

If you feel like your partner could be targeting you with emotional or sexual abuse, please look into help for abusive situations. Aim to leave, or to survive until you can. Nobody should have to suffer in such a situation. Other flags can be a partner attempting to isolate you, or acting very different in public (sunny, loving) vs private (judgmental, angry). "I can't help it" is no excuse - anybody who believes they're old enough to handle a relationship should also be responsible enough to control their actions, or at least try, and own up in full to their mistakes.

I wanted to write this little foreword to make that clear, and try to amend any harm this story could possibly cause.

But ultimately, Watch the Rain Fall is a story about Sakura, Syaoran and the rest of the cast growing up, discovering sex and sadness and grief, dealing with the sorrowful past and the frightening future, and most of all, in many ways, resembling who I was at the time: a young adult still finding out who they wanted to be. I still love much of it.

If you want to read on, then please enjoy it, mistakes and all. Thanks, as ever, for reading.

- CC

12/21/2016