A/N: Looks like I really am able to finish this fic. One million brownie points for me :D

Disclaimer: I don't own Hunter X Hunter. Togashi does :)

It was a windy day. Wads of thrash rolled over garbage upon garbage. One particular thrash was stopped from rolling when it hit a black leather boot. The owner of the boot did not stop walking. There were important errands that needs attending to. One such errand requires tow to three suitable recruits for the Phantom Brigade aka Kumo aka Spiders AND aka Genei Ryodan. Why? Because Danchou said so. Aka Kuroro Lucifer. Duh.

Feitan ran his hand through his hair. He knew one person that would want a membership in the Phantom Brigade...well, okay, so he knows two, but the other was insane, so that was out of the question. So yeah, one will do. He'll let Machi and the others recruit other member/members.

Ichi. Ni. San. Shi. Go. Roku. Nana. Hachi. Kyu. Juu. Juuichi.

Eleven. It had taken him eleven steps to come upon a fortress of garbage (also known as Phinx's "crib", as he calls it). It may just be a pile of thrash, but there was still a door that leads to the entrance. There was no knob on the door (it was just a huge piece of metal blocking the entrance), so pushes it aside. The door fell with a mixture of a clang and a thud. The bandit enters.

Voices seem to float all over the place. Well, more like bouncing off in every direction. Why? Because it was so goddamn noisy!

"Get in here, Phinx! I said GET IN HERE!"

Kihori, Feitan thought. He had recognized her voice only because it was annoying as fuck and it always hurts his ears.

"Get off me! Get the fuck off of me!" Phinx shrieked.

Feitan almost laughed at that. Phinx had sounded like a little girl yelling 'Rape!Rape!"

This HAS to be something amusing, he thought.

In Phinx's room...

Kihori was, erhem, riding on Phinx. Yes, riding on him, piggy-back style. Her legs were wrapped around his torso rather tightly. (o.O) Her left hand has a death grip on Phinx's hair to keep herself from falling, while her right hand was smudging some...stuff (the only appropriate word left for it) all over Phinx. Phinx, on the other hand, was trying to avoid getting bathed with "stuff" AND getting Kihori off his back without losing ANY hair. Phinx loves his hair too much...

Amusing, indeed. Feitan decided to wait a little longer before interrupting them. It was too good to pass up.

Somehow, Phinx managed to get Kihori off his back. Kihori stared at Phinx from the floor, panting. Phinx did the same, only he was standing. After three seconds, Kihori charged at her brother with a wail of a banshee. Phinx dodged Kihori's attack, but not without tripping and landing his butt hard on the round.

"Ah! Fuck!" Phinx exclaimed, clutching his numb yet pained buttocks. Meanwhile, Kihori was on the other side of the room, arms and feet at awkward angles, smudged with unspeakable goo all over. A ferret walks across the room to escape the chaos it had no idea it what was about. A burst of laughter filled the room. Kihori and Phinx turned their head to Feitan's direction, startled by his presence.

"When did you get in here?" demanded Phinx.

Feitan stopped laughing. Then, looked at Phinx. Then, looked at Phinx's hair. It looked like a chicken's nest. Feitan doubled over and started laughing again. In fact, he was laughing so hard, there were no sounds coming out of his mouth.

"Ummm, Fei?"

"Feitan?"

Fifteen minutes later...

Feitan had finally stopped laughing his ass off. The guy's sense of humor was depressingly sadistic...and well, odd. Nobody could really tell what was going on in his head. But then, again, nobody really wanted to know.

Feitan announced that he has something to tell Phinx in private, and so, sent Kihori off into her room, which she did diligently. She did NOT want to give Feitan an excuse to give her two thousand three hundred eighty-nine reasons why she should go drown in a freakin' bathing suit, like he did last time.

"Fuck. What is this stuff?" Phinx was furiously wiping at his face to take the goo out, but with no success.

Feitan knew Phinx well enough to know that he wouldn't be listening until he gets the sticky substance out of his face. Feitan sighed and looked around for a bottle of water. He found a bottle and tossed it to his comrade. Phinx caught the bottle and started rubbing the stuff in his face to get the goo out. Luckily, it did, so Feitan was finally able to announce his news.

"Phinx, there's one open spot available in the Brigade," he said blankly, all the while staring at his nails.

"Are you serious?"

The tiny bandit nodded. Once down. Once up.

"REEEAALLLY?" Kihori shouted.

Phinx stared at her in disbelief, while Feitan glared at her. The little bitch had been eavesdropping.

"Were you listening?" Phinx roared.

"Nope. But you know, you really should replace this curtain with something more solid to keep the noise locked in your room. This place echoes. You should know that by now!" she replied confidently. The lass then turned her attention to Feitan and said, "Can I join?"

Feitan shook his head, much to Kihori's disappointment. "You don't even know how to use nen. You'll die just like a little-"

"DON'T give me twelve thousand ways of how I'll die with vivid descriptions!" shouted Kihori.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"I'm scared now..."

Feitan took a step forward, ready to scare the living crap out of Kihori when the thought was disturbed by something he had stepped on. It was a book. He bent over and picked it up.

"Wait!" Too late. Feitan was already her diary.

"..."

"..."

*Glare*

*Sweatdrops*

SLAM! The book hit the floor really REALLY hard.

"You...are...a...DISGRACE!"

Oh mah gaaaaahhhhh! Feitan's wrath...he's unleashing it!

"YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A SECOND-GRADER TRYING-HARD LOWLIFE!"

I am NOT a second-grader! Oh dear, he's worse than I am when I'm in my period. He's going to kill me!

"...AN EYESORE, YA HEAR ME? AN EYESOOORRREEE! How can you possibly POSSIBLY get Danchou's eye color wrong? Are you color blind? DO I NEED TO TAKE YOUR EYES OUT FOR YOU? HUH?"

Gomenasaiiiiiiiii! I was only trying to use a...a...what was it called again? A metamile?

"And his ethnicity. His ethnicity! You know fully well that Danchou's Japanese! Japanese, for heaven's sake, not Greek! Are you mocking him? Well, ARE you? Are you trying to disgrace the Spiders by saying that he's a Greek golden-eyed FREAK?"

Now...at this point, Feitan was screaming and cursing in Chinese, Kihori was hiding behind a pile of thrash, while holding up a blessed cross in hopes that Feitan is half-vampire and would singe at the sight of a cross, and Phinx? Well, he's hiding in the bathroom, washing his face as an excuse to not be in the same room with the other two as Feitan unleashes the devil himself.

After what seemed like ages, Feitan was finally panting and grunting, his voice hoarse from all the yelling and spoken profanity. "You shall feel my wrath..."

Kihori was as far away from Feitan as possible. Her heart was beating at 200 beats per second. Oh dear, she might end up dying from a heart attack instead of Feitan.

Feitan took one step.

He's coming...

Feitan took another step.

...and I'm sorry for stealing my brother's Twix, Lord Jesus. I didn't mean to! I'll be a good girl. A GOOD girl. I promise! Just let me live!

Feitan took another step, a loud thud was heard. There were no more footsteps. Kihori peeked around the pile of garbage cautiously to see what was going on. Feitan had fallen asleep on the floor. Like a nervous hamster, Kihori tippy-toed closer to Feitan, poked him, and quickly jumped back. He had REALLY fallen asleep.

Kami-sama, arigatou gozaimasu! Arigatou! Arigatou!

Kihori fell on the floor from over-relief. She was too young and good-looking to die, anyways. At least, that's what she thought. Wait a minute. What'll happen to me when Feitan wakes up? A vivid scene of Feitan hanging her upside down and beating her like a Pinata came across Kihori's mind. Hell, no! I'm not staying here any longer.

She ran around the house until she was facing the bathroom door where her brother was behind (he decided to take a shower since Feitan was still raging on and on in the other room at the time he was done washing his face...so yeah)

"You just watch, you bastards! I'll learn nen and become a limb of the Spider! Youuu juuuuussssssstttt wwaaaaaaattttchhh! Kyahahahahaha!Bwuha, bwuhahahahaha! I'll take that Hunter Exam and pass it! On the first try! Kyahahaha! And then, you'll eat your words with dog shit for dessert! For DE-SSERT!" With that, Kihori was out and going...somewhere.

"Kihori, what did you say about dessert?" Phinx questioned. He had no idea what she just said to him. Something about exam, spider, and dessert.

Something kept nudging him and it annoyed Feitan. He grabbed what was nudging him and realized that it was foot. "Yo! You fell asleep in the middle of a tantrum!"

Feitan opened his eyes. What he saw stopped him cold. He could tell that Phinx had just finished showering, but his eyebrows were completely gone! No, it wasn't just the eyebrows. ALL of his facial hair was gone. Feitan sprinted out of the place as fast as he could, leaving Phinx once again clueless. Feitan ran far enough, so that Phinx couldn't hear him laugh.

Ha! No wonder that bottle said 'Keep out of eyes'! Feitan laughed into the night. Right before he laughed himself to sleep, he heard Phinx scream in horror at a distance, his last thoughts I should get Phinx something to cover his eyebrows for the meeting tomorrow. Maybe that one Egyptian hat Ubo found will do...

A/N: R&R please :)

Thanks to One percent, TwistedHero, bigSEED, Lumi75, gyo mapuri, and SaturnXK for reviewing

love ya guys 3