Title: Taichi's Sabotage
Summary: Taichi isn't happy with Hikari's choice of boyfriend. So what else is an older brother supposed to try - except sabotage? A Taichi-centric one-shot. Takari, hint of Sorato.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Akiyoshi Hongo, creator of the Digimon concept, as well as various broadcasting networks. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Author's Notes: I needed a laugh to distract me from Under the Surface, which is currently being uncooperative. As a result of my procrastination, which included bouncing between fandoms for good reads, I wrote this little one-shot. It is inspired by the sarcastic style of Miss Ras, who never fails to make me laugh. Please read and let me know in a review if this experimental style suits your reading taste!

"I don't like it."

Yamato and Sora both look at Taichi strangely at this statement. He ignores it, though. Instead, he continues to glower out the window, where Yamato's kid brother is holding hands with his little sister. He tries to control the urge to storm outside and cut Takeru's hand off. And then disinfect Hikari's hand. Possibly with turpentine, if necessary.

"Why?" Sora asks finally. "I thought you liked Takeru. He's practically like a younger brother to you."

"He's not good enough for her," Taichi says gruffly, crossing his arms and still watching the two outside. "He acts like he 'understands' her. He plays basketball. And he's blond."

Yamato nearly chokes on his soda in disbelief. "What does being blond have to do with it?" he demands when his windpipe is clear again. Sora pats his back sympathetically.

"He'll break her heart for sure," Taichi continues, "and I don't want her to get hurt."

"Takeru won't break Hikari's heart." Yamato rolls his eyes.

"You don't know that. For all you know, he might have a wandering eye. I saw the way he checked Catherine out when we visited Paris."

"But so did you, Taichi," Sora points out.

Taichi ignores her and Yamato. Why should he care about what they think, anyway? He's supposed to worry about Hikari! He's her older brother, her protector. He's not about to let this Takeru guy walk all over her, never mind the fact he's known Takeru for years. It's not important - not when his sister's happiness is at stake. "I think Daisuke would be a better match for her. At least he plays soccer," Taichi muses.

Sora and Yamato exchange a glance with each other and simultaneously sigh.

"Hey, Takeru, can you grab my camera for me? It's in my room."

"No problem, Hikari."

As Takeru leaves the room, Taichi gets an idea to use this situation to his advantage. He stands up. "Come on, Daisuke, I have something to show you," he says casually.

"Okay!" Daisuke eagerly stands up and follows Taichi.

When Takeru walks past them, Taichi - stealthily, of course - sticks out his foot. Takeru trips and falls, dropping the camera and breaking the lens. Taichi smiles wickedly.

"Oh, no!" Hikari is horrified. "I saved up my allowance for months to buy that camera!"

"Someone tripped me," Takeru says, frowning. He looks back at the two boys standing behind him and locks eyes with Daisuke. "You tripped me, didn't you?"

Hikari glares at Daisuke. "Daisuke, how could you?"

Taichi looks slowly from Hikari's angry face to Daisuke's cowering one.

Crap.

The next day, the Chosen Children gather at Daisuke's house for some free food. While the girls are in the kitchen, the guys stay out in the living room to watch television.

During the commercial break, Taichi looks around at the other guys and notices that Takeru is talking excitedly with Ken on the couch, Takeru's copy of Reader's Digest lying open on his lap. And Taichi gets an idea to use the situation to his advantage.

He looks under the coffee table and spies a female underwear catalogue. While Takeru and Ken are preoccupied, Taichi - stealthily, of course - switches the copies. Then, he waits.

It's not long before Hikari comes out of the kitchen and sees Takeru. She comes closer and her jaw drops when she sees what's on her boyfriend's lap. "Takeru, what are you reading?" she asks, shocked. Taichi smiles wickedly.

Takeru looks down and flushes in surprise. "What the -" He picks the catalogue up and notices something strange on the cover. "Daisuke, you're subscribed to this magazine?"

Taichi watches Hikari slowly turn to look at a bright red Daisuke. "Daisuke, you'd better have a good explanation for this," she says to him threateningly.

Crap.

The next week, Taichi writes a flowery love letter to Hikari in the most unrecognizable handwriting he can manage, pretending to be a secret admirer who wants Hikari to break up with Takeru because the secret admirer would treat her so much better. He delivers it - stealthily, of course - to Hikari the next morning while they are eating breakfast. "This came in the mail for you," Taichi says nonchalantly. "Maybe it's from Takeru."

"Maybe." Hikari opens the envelope curiously and reads the letter in silence. Taichi watches her expression carefully as she does. He smiles wickedly.

By the end of the letter, Hikari's eyes are narrowed and her mouth is set in a firm line. "I'm going to kill him!" Hikari hisses, shredding the letter into bits.

Taichi is confused. "Who?"

"Daisuke!" Hikari bursts out. "He's trying to break me and Takeru up!"

"Wait! What are you talking about?" Taichi says, alarmed.

Hikari shakes the remains of the letter in Taichi's face. "He wrote an anonymous letter to me, declaring his love for me and telling me to break up with Takeru!"

"If it's anonymous, then how do you know that it was Daisuke?" Taichi tries to reason with his sister.

Hikari scowls, and shows one of the bits of the letter with writing on it to Taichi. "I can recognize Daisuke's messy handwriting anywhere. I'll see you later, big brother, I have a certain Chosen Child who needs to learn a lesson from me."

As Hikari walks out of the kitchen, muttering under her breath, Taichi picks up the piece of paper and looks at the handwriting. He realizes that it does look like Daisuke's handwriting.

Crap. Maybe I'm being too stealthy.

The silence is tense as Taichi drives Takeru over to the Yagami apartment. He still doesn't approve of Takeru, but Hikari asked him to give Takeru a ride after practice. And really, Taichi can't resist his little sister when she asks him to do things for her so sweetly. Even if Takeru is involved.

It doesn't make it any easier, though.

"Thanks for the ride, Taichi," Takeru says politely when they arrive and get out of the car.

"Yeah," Taichi says brusquely, locking the car and stalking across to the stairs.

Takeru runs after Taichi and grabs his arm. "Look, I know that you're not happy with me dating Hikari," he says in a rush, halting Taichi's progress up the stairs. "But I promise to take care of her. You can trust that I won't ever hurt her, Taichi. You have my word."

Taichi is about to open his mouth in a scathing reply when several somethings suddenly drops on their heads and ice cold water completely drenches both him and Takeru.

"WHAT THE HECK - "

"WHO - "

"DAISUKE!" they both yell at the Chosen Child of Courage and Friendship, who is laughing manically after dropping water balloons on them and running away.

Taichi and Takeru look at each other for a split-second before running up the stairs as fast as their legs can carry them.

It's funny how some truces are made, isn't it?

fin.