Authoress' Note: Two months? Or has it been three months? I don't know... All I know is that I've been working on life, unwritten (another SasuSaku) like a maniac without paying much mind to this...

Anyways; something of a plot in my head. Be patient. But then again, who says that this can't be the story about nothing? :D This ought to be Attaining The Impossible; the story about nothing at all. Like Seinfeld, or err, something.

Notes:
1) There's a minor couple down there that you may or may not enjoy. Sorry.
2) This chapter is rather (VERY) perverted, with lots of not-so-subtle sexual references. I seriously don't know what's wrong with me…

Disclaimer: Bof! I don't own Naruto.

Attaining The Impossible

Chapter 10: Psychotic Tango

I had gone completely silent in the moments following.

I didn't believe him, frankly. 'Now would be your chance,' he had said? Yes, that was what he said to me. What kind of crackpot notion was that implying, exactly? No, I knew what it was implying, but I didn't want to actually believe it… I mean, seriously? Was he so bold? And, really, did I look so easy?

My eyebrows furrowing into a telltale sign of doubt, I stared blankly up at the dark ceiling above me. I spoke quietly, if not for my own mortification, then for the fact that I didn't need Naruto and Ino discovering us—again!—in such a compromising position. "I don't understand you… You shouldn't say rubbish just because you're sexually frustrated."

- Lol. Rubbish… rubbish. Funny word. :D -

He grunted against my collarbone in response, having had rested his head there a few moments ago. Sasuke… well, he was warm. Really warm. And heavy. I could hardly breathe with him on top of me the way he was, but for the time being, I would just endure it. There was nothing else that could be done at the moment, anyway. Attempting to remove him would be, of course, again—futile.

Yes. I would endure it. I would do that, and pretend that I hadn't noticed the way his hand had shamelessly slipped underneath my blouse and atop my stomach, encouraging the frantic butterflies that lied beneath. It was driving me crazy and making me sweat in places that I was not supposed to freakin' sweat in.

"I could say the same for you," he said slowly, and I forced myself to pretend that his hand wasn't where it currently rested.

Had it not been for morals, I would have long ago laid Sasuke.

Yeah, I was just that barefaced when it came to this sort of thing.

Besides, what was this, some kind of sick fantasy?

"I'm not sexually frustrated. I just said that… I don't know why I said that. And to be quite honest, it doesn't actually matter. I'm a college student, Sasuke-kun, who has lacked every experience imaginable for a girl my age. Excuse me for indulging and fantasizing about a bastard like you for just a second—quit being so freakin' selfish about your apparent hotness. The world deserves to share in it."

I stopped for a second, wondering why I was telling him all that in the first place. However, it was almost immediately forgotten when I realized that I had to call him on whatever tricks he was trying to play on me. The words were already rolling off my tongue, in a hazy take of what I presumed to be true about him and his extremely confusing actions.

"Look, you're smexy, Sasuke-kun. And I know that you know that I know that you're smexy. But what I said, it wasn't for you—though I see that it managed to inflate this ever-expanding head of yours. I was supposed to be speaking privately with Ino, when you and Naruto thought it'd be 'cool' to eavesdrop. This," I was referring to our position, "Is just intentional innuendo—your sick way of torturing me just because you're a deluded psychopath with too much time on your hands. You get gratification from this, because you know I can't take it. You're teasing me, Sasuke-'kun,' by giving me bits and pieces of something that you know I damn well can't have—and you won't give me. And you know why? Because you're Uchiha Sasuke and you're a pompous sadist."

There. That was my little rant for the night.

I was all too aware when his hand withdrew from underneath my blouse, once again moving to rest above my shoulder. Maybe I had gotten to him. Maybe my little analysis had some truth to it, but like always, my hopes were mercilessly dashed when he laugh-snorted. Whatever the hell a laugh-snort was.

He was once again hovering over me, but I made sure not to surrender into my girlish delight. Right now, I had nerves of steel. I had a purpose—to expose Uchiha Sasuke for the sex-crazed, self-gratifying, lunatic he was.

"I guess you think you've got me figured out," he whispered, and I was sure he still had that arrogant, satisfied-for-no-reason smirk on that face of his. "Then why don't you do something about it? Prove me wrong."

I narrowed my eyes at his, which only dully reflected the moonlight pouring through the window. Was that a challenge? A sexual one, no less? "As if. I'm not buying into your psychotic sex games. I won't flatter myself into thinking that someone such as me would be able to sleep with you…"

I honestly believed it. This entire thing was just one of his games. How could it be a coincidence that he had hired a young live-in maid such as myself; then shamelessly proceeded to 'seduce' me—or close to it—on a multitude of occasions? Yes, he knew that he was irresistible; he knew that even I would fall to his 'charm'; and I was aware that he was only doing it because he could. He only wanted to see if he possessed the power to push a young woman such as me to the brink of sexual insanity; but that was the thing, HE ALREADY KNEW THAT HE COULD!

So my thesis was that this, and everything else that had occurred between he and I, was merely him using me as a subject in his self-satisfying, twisted carnal mind games.

No, he didn't have the intention to sleep with me—he was using his beauty as a weapon in his own self-indulgence.

D:

(At least, it seemed that way to me.)

"Prove me wrong then, Sakura," he suddenly repeated, and I could hardly make out the traces of an amused smirk on his face. "Resist me."

The tone in which he said that… It would have made me blush, I supposed, had he not been challenging me to withstand his rather enticing advances. However, since it was somewhat of a test, I would win. Haruno Sakura always won.

"Fine! Then get off me!" For the first time in a long time, Sasuke didn't feel as heavy. When I drove my hands into his firm—ahem. Very firm. Quite firm—chest to throw him of, he seemed to allow me. Once I had successfully shoved him off to my side with all my womanly strength, I immediately sat up, not desiring to be once again pinned down by him. I allowed myself to look at him then, whilst absently pulling my skirt back down to a modest level.

"I won't have sex with you," I shamelessly stated, having grown tired of his intent stare.

"Hn. I didn't ask you to," and then he proceeded to pull at my hair, which was an odd gesture in itself. "You're a different specimen, Haruno, from what I usually toy with… But I'm sure that you'll throw yourself at me eventually, just like the rest."

"Really now?" I leaned forward, daring. "Try me."

He didn't answer me, but I supposed that he didn't enjoy me counter-challenging him. Which was probably why he reached forward, and roughly tugged my white blouse to an unbecoming open. The only thing I instantly registered was flying buttons, and a very chilly draft…

Objecting to Sasuke was like playing with fire. "Sasuke, what the hell—?"

"Oh Sasuke-honey…! I'm back!"

And before I could register anything at all, the lights flickered on.

Finally about to see clearly, I glanced down at my very open blouse, then up at Sasuke who was boldly ogling me and my lace brassiere. Frowning, I took my palm and drove it into the entirety of his face, successfully blocking his vision. And he was still smirking against my palm!

"Stop being a pervert, just for once!" Huffing, I quickly stood.

I had heard something. I could've sworn I heard something. I had… hadn't I?

Sighing, I walked out from behind the couch, leaving an oddly satisfied Sasuke in my wake and wondering whose voice it was, but in a way, already instinctively knowing. Pulling my blouse together, it only faintly escaped me that Naruto and Ino had been left alone with Mika to gather 'snacks,' or something of the like, for far too long.

What if they ruined her…?

And, to make speculative matters worse, Karin had returned.

I was out of that den before I—much less Sasuke the perverted bastard—had realized it. I inconspicuously made my way to the kitchen, careful to avoid Karin and her banshee-like ways. It was so incredibly odd, how she could be gone for days—even weeks—at a time, then return as if everything was just fine. And then Sasuke would just take her back, as if everything was just fine. I don't even know if 'take her back' is the correct term to use, because only God knew what the relationship was between those two.

In the kitchen, I found Naruto, with one very open fridge. He was hunched over the island beside a can of half-eaten diced tomatoes, and snacking on what looked like crackers.

"Where's Ino?" Because I had only left them alone for about thirty minutes, and it took at least one hour before the vagrant Yamanaka Ino, wandered off to somewhere she had no business being. Like say, the mansion of Uchiha Sasuke. One day, that wanderlust of hers was going to get her killed.

(Lulz)

Seriously.

"Hm?" Mouth stuffed with crackers and tomatoes, Naruto squinted at me, for some reason. He titled his head to the side, eyebrows raised. Thankfully, he managed to swallow before he offered, "You know, your jugs are kinda hangin' out."

Swiftly, I once again pulled my blouse to a close. "Thanks for that information, really." Sarcasm. "Now can you just tell me where Ino is? Please."

After staring at me for a minute or two, he simultaneously shoved four crackers into his mouth and shrugged. "Dunno. She left a little after the rain let up. Somethin' about a club… or something. Said she wouldn't be back 'till morning."

My gosh…! Seriously? Ino went to a nightclub… and left me defenseless in this madhouse? And so quickly, too! At times, she had the attention span of a dying camel! What a horrible friend she was…

"And Mika-chan? Did she go clubbing as well?"

My attempt at humor.

Fail.

Naruto seemed to notice my epic failure as well. "Um, I put the runt to sleep when she got irritating. So it's just me. And crackers. Lots of crackers. Beef ramen flavored, actually…"

I rolled my eyes, pretending to not notice how truly bizarre that was, yet all the while wondering where he had retrieved such items in Sasuke's house. "Just… clean up after yourself, alright?"

When he absently waved me off, I proceeded to leave a ravenous Naruto to his merciless devouring.

The last thing that was supposed to be on my mind that night was Sasuke and that evanescent woman, but it was. And before I went to sleep that night, I could only faintly wonder why.

*~.….…xox….….~*

When I woke up the next morning, I smelt alcohol.

Fruity alcohol.

I stirred. Groaning tiredly, I flopped over on my belly, trying to avoid the incandescent sunshine. It felt nice and balmy, radiant almost, just like how Sasuke had a tendency of making me feel. I almost cracked the ghost of a smile at that notion, but it was instantly forgotten at that smell. The aroma of fruity alcohol, it was still there.

Curious as to the peculiar scent, I rolled over once more. The instant I did, I was startled beyond compare. Instead of a white wall, I was staring into overly bright cerulean orbs. The person—this idiotic blonde of a person—smiled at me, as though nothing was out of the ordinary. Little did she know, she had scared me half to death!

"Good morning, Sakura," Ino greeted simply, smiling brightly. She was on her side as well, resting her head on her arm as a makeshift pillow.

When she spoke, a flood of bitterly smelling fruit fanned my face. That, mixed with her terrible morning breath, would have caused me to vomit my breakfast, had I had any. In reply, "Your breath smells horrible."

Deadpanning, she blinked. "Yours does too."

"Why did you disappear last night?" I retorted, ignoring the blatant insult. Good friends didn't leave friends with sexual maniacs. They seriously didn't do that to one another. Screw the pleasantries. It was uncool.

"Naruto and Mika… they were boring me. Besides, I was in a new town…" She halted for a teary yawn, to which she stretched her limbs out. After the pause she contentedly sighed, and settled in my bed once more. "…so I just figured that I may as well—"

"—get completely smashed without me," I offered bitterly. I narrowed my eyes when she simply shrugged, as if completely unashamed.

"I supposed that it would've been troublesome had I walked in on you and Sasuke again…"

"We didn't do anything!"

Ino laughed again. "You know, I met this really interesting guy at the club last night."

It was my turn to sigh. Why did she figure that I would be interested in her escapades, when I wasn't able to experience any for myself? I snorted. "Wonderful, really."

"I'm serious," she persisted, "He was a childhood friend of mine, and I got reacquainted with him yesterday by chance. He has potential."

"Whatever."

"But Sakura!"

…"You're loud, Ino."

I blinked, because that voice had not come from me. Rather, it had come from beside Ino, who was in my bed. Which meant that there was a man with an unfamiliar voice—a stranger!—in my bed. Using my shoulder to prop myself up, lo and behold, there was another person in my bed. "What the hell, Ino? Who is that?"

The shock registered in an instant, and before I knew it, I had kicked Ino and her… 'companion' out of my most likely sullied bed. They both tumbled onto the floor with a loud thud, and I took a bit of satisfaction in the way Ino squeaked.

I sat up, glaring at Ino.

"There are several things wrong with this, Ino! A multitude of things are bizarre about this!" And I thought beef ramen-flavored crackers were bizarre. "You can't bring strange men into other people's houses! Or beds, for that matter! Especially when you're not supposed to be there yourself!"

Huffing, she had the nerve to look indignant at me! "I just wanted you to meet him! What type of thanks is this?"

"Thanks? You want me to thank you? For what—BRINGING A STRANGE MAN INTO MY BED WHILE I WAS IN IT? A STRANGE, UNFAMILIAR, STRANGER! A MAN THAT YOU MET AT THE NIGHTCLUB, NO LESS. FOR ALL WE KNOW, HE COULD BE A DIRTY MAN-WHORE INFECTED WITH GONORRHEA!"

Ino, who seemed to be awaked at my tirade, relaxed into a sitting position on the floor, sparing her cohort a curious glance. He, who was dressed in a white t-shirt and boxers, looked completely unembarrassed by the entire situation. Bored, almost. Softly, Ino hesitantly inquired, "Shikamaru, you're not contaminated, are you? With Gonorrhea? Or, uh, anything else…?"

He sighed tiredly, and tilted his head to look up at the ceiling. "Not that I know of…"

Smiling, Ino turned back to me. "See, every thing is a-okay! He's completely sterile, Sakura!"

*~.….…xox….….~*

To say that I was slightly disturbed from the morning's happenings was a severe understatement. Of all the time that I had spent in this madhouse, that had to be the most unpleasant wake-up in which I had ever had the displeasure of experiencing. Yeah.

Ino and Shikamaru—I think his name was—were currently 'busy' on Sasuke-kun's nice white couch. (That poor, poor, couch.) It was rather disgusting, if I do say so myself. After I had kicked them the hell out of my room, I supposed that they thought the living room an adequate place to settle themselves.

The attraction didn't even make much sense to me. I mean, Ino was attractive enough, so I saw why he may have been interested in her. But Ino… Ino's type was Sasuke, plainly put. Built, handsome to the point of girlishness, and completely self-centered. Shikamaru was like the polar opposite from first impression. He was a sort of scrawny thing, though not overly so; he wasn't ugly at all, but he didn't seem like the type to make women swoon at first glance; and his attitude…?

Completely jaded for no apparent justification. Almost to the point of appearing entirely uninterested in life. He was so terribly uncaring and laidback that it was just… depressing. I briefly wondered if he was suicidal.

But then, maybe that was why Ino liked him. Because he was something she could probably dominate… Ew. I didn't actually approve of her getting slightly intimate with someone she had just got 'reacquainted with'—after all, she was still my friend and I was the more levelheaded of the two—but to each his or her own, I guess.

Other than watching over Mika, I had been slacking on my duties lately, mostly because Sasuke hadn't made it a point to complain about it. So now, I focused on my work, vowing not to be once again distracted. I failed miserably. As I loaded the dishes from the dishwasher to the dish rack, I couldn't divert my mind from it's hopeless musings.

Last night, when Karin returned after however long, it had escaped me that I had left the two alone. After I had left Sasuke alone in the den, he must've surely gone to confront Karin—or welcome her. Which one, I didn't know. The only thing that I was sure of was that the thought of them alone left a bitter taste in my mouth. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't even attempt to wrap my head around their contorted relationship. And Sasuke was making matters worse by not telling me anything about it!

But maybe it wasn't my business… Perhaps it truly wasn't.

Earlier, I had consulted an unlikely source, hoping to get some insight as to the essence of their relationship and cure my insatiable interest in the matter. Naruto, of all people. After I had found Naruto slumped over the island, morbidly gargling on tiny bits of crackers and tomatoes, I had questioned him on the spot. He, still half asleep, only mumbled something nonsensical and trudged out of the kitchen.

Of course, that had been a horrible fail on my part.

It couldn't be helped…

Having have placed the last dish on the dish rack to dry, I began the tedious task of moving the sullied tableware into the dishwasher. As I reached for a plate, I didn't miss when a black critter came crawling out from beneath it and scurried across the countertop.

I frowned, as if looks could kill.

"I'm hungry, Sakura."

My frown deepened, as I instantly knew the origin of that smooth voice. I didn't look at him, only continued to load the dishwasher whilst watching yet another bug from the corner of my eye. Really, for just how long had I been slacking? This was just pitiful.

"Then find something to eat," I said plainly, though not actually out of spite. "I'm busy right now."

"It's your job," he reiterated, "Make me an omelet."

Pausing, I irritably clicked my tongue. I could already tell; he was testing me again! It was too early for such nonsense, and I wanted no part in whatever game he was trying to play with me. (Even thought it truly was my job.) "Even if I wanted to, we ran out of tomatoes. You wouldn't enjoy it."

"You know me pretty well… Just use the diced ones, then."

I rolled my eyes; of course I knew him well. That tended to happen when a person made the same dish for the same humdrum bastard every morning, without fail. "Naruto ate them all yesterday. If you want, you can dig up the can and drink the day-old juice, now probably saturated in Mika-chan's diaper."

While Sasuke took to muttering something about 'hiding the canned tomatoes,' 'eats like a vacuum,' and 'bastard,' I smiled to myself a bit. "I'm sure that plain oatmeal will suffice, Sasuke-kun. That's what I ate."

Because mocking him feeding off his suffering was the best feeling in the world. If he thought he had me frazzled, he was so severely mistaken.

"Really now? I could've sworn that you ate me."

I could feel the smirk. I frowned.

Bitterly.

As another critter crawled out from the sink, "You have ants, Sasuke," I quickly said, (Ha! No suffix! Take that!) desiring to divert the conversation. He was trying to go there with me yet again, and I would not buy into it!

There was a pause, then, "Take care of them."

I threw my hands in the air exasperatedly, though I still refused to turn around. "I'm not an exterminator, stupid!"

"Ah. You'd be the concubine."

And then I simply couldn't take it anymore, because his plethora of innuendos was truly unnerving. I spun on my heels, ready to give the smexy asshole a piece of my mind, but then I stopped. I found myself stuck breathless; ugh, he was manmeat!

Sasuke was… naked. No, not naked, but very much close to it. The notion of the retort was instantly forgotten as I digested the personality-flawed spectacle before me. Before me stood a very shirtless Uchiha Sasuke, with broad shoulders and pretty skin and all. He wasn't very muscular at all—though he appeared that way with a shirt on—rather, he was pleasantly slim for a man of his height. And while he didn't have washboard (OMG WASHBOARD) abdominals, they were defined enough for someone like me, who was rather indiscriminate when it came to body type.

Small of my back pressed apprehensively against the counter, I continued my careful scrutiny of his body. Of skin, and shoulder, and chest and abs, and… belly button. And lower even, where his towel was currently hanging dangerously low. I could see the contours of his waist, (sigh. Sasuke and his wonderfully shaved body) where I knew that if I decided to search any lower, I would most definitely find…

…treasure.

Invaluable jewels.

Hm.

It was kinda hot in here…

Was the stove on, perhaps?

"My eyes are up here, Sakura," he stated, and I could feel the amusement in his tone.

My eyes were still glued to that white towel of his, which managed to leave much to the imagination. Breathless, I forced myself to meet his gaze. "Where are your clothes?" I strained my voice into a hiss, fearful of being discovered by the various (uninvited and/or unwanted) people in the house.

He looked completely natural. "I was ready to take a shower, but the hot water seems to be out," he said, narrowing his eyes. "You look parched, Sakura; you're flushed."

The fact that the hot water was out was due to the fact that both Ino and Shikamaru, the stranger, had bathed in his shower, but I was too distracted in that moment to even think of mentioning that. His body was just in front of me. Begging to be devoured…

Teasing me…

Teasing me…?

Teasing me?

Teasing me!

Of course! This was just another part of his psychotic sex tango!

"I thought…" he began, stepping closer. "That you were supposed to be resisting me."

"What a dirty trick… I mean, you're naked!" I screamed. "How can I not ogle?"

"Where's that resolve of yours, Sakura?" He leaned over slightly, so that he was staring down at me. "Has it dissipated simply because I removed my shirt?"

"Of course not," I huffed, feigning bravado. I would've tried to push him away again, hoping for a repeat of yesterday, had it not been for the fact the he currently donned no shirt. Feeling his bare chest… well, that wouldn't serve to improve my situation for obvious reasons.

"I'm just… you're getting unprofessional, Sasuke," I stated, in a futile attempt to distract myself. "This is all, frankly, downright inappropriate, and I just might be tempted to quit."

Satisfied by my fluster, he stepped back. "But I know you wouldn't, so it doesn't actually matter."

"Of course I would!"

"I'm doing you a favor, Sakura," he said seriously, "I saw you, so I figured that this would be a sort of reciprocation…"

Wide-eyed, I blushed a deep red as the memory of that day suddenly flooded back to me. "But you seem to forget that I'm not a pervert like you!" While I was somewhat flattered at the idea, it was too much of an unusual way of thinking. What was this, an eye for an eye?—or, in this situation, a chest for a chest?

Sasuke was tainting my virgin mind! And it was literally driving me insane…

Then, I glared at him for a long while, attempting to carefully decipher the lopsided, smug grin he offered me.

Sasuke was too much… much too much… How could Karin deal with having to live with him?

Just as such a thought crossed my mind, I heard Karin—

"Sasuke-kun! There are two bums making out in the living room!"

Great.

To Be Continued...

Authoress' Note: After two days of nonstop writing, you're welcome. :D

Lots of perviness in there. Lol. I'm so sorry.

And there is a plot growing in there, even though you may not have noticed it. It just takes time. Sasuke the sex-fiend and his little indirect challenge, Karin's return, Ino bringing strange men to a place in which even she does not belong, Sakura and her 'resolve' to not be seduced, and Naruto's Naruto-ness… all of it greatly amuses me.

Review softly.