A/N: This is the first fic I've written in a REALLY long time and a first for SVU as well so I'm a tidge nervous. I've tried along with a friend I have editing this, to correct all of the spelling and grammatical errors but if there's still a few hiding in there, please be paitient with me. I really hope you all like this! The title is Chasing Pavements after the song by ADELE. If you haven't heard it, you should because I think it fits Liv & El perfect! I'm going to have a lyric from the song at the top of each chapter so it's sorta song fic-ish, not really but whatever. I'm rambling now so enjoy (hopefully!).

Disclaimer: Dick Wolf & Friends Own All, Do you really think they even understand how lucky they are??

Summary: Olivia's got a new boyfriend that Elliot knows nothing about. When he finds out, you can count on some bitter arguments and jealousy! Also be prepared for the shock of Olivia's life that she never expected but always wanted. EO sometime but it always takes awhile to get there with all the muck I put them through!

Chapter 1: Something Like Almost

I've made up my mind

16th Precinct: Squad Room

Thursday, 6:17 pm

The sounds of the station echoed vaguely in Olivia's ears as she straightened up her desk before heading out for the day. The warm glow that accompanied the present hour was slowly beginning to blend into the cool shadows of dusk before moving on to evening. Normally she would have stayed longer but she was starting to feel herself lose the tight focus she had had on her paper work earlier that morning. Besides they had just closed a case so she was surely entitled to take off an hour or two earlier than usual.

'Any big plans tonight, Benson?' A familiar voice asked from behind her. Looking up, she saw Elliot walk around and sit down at his desk, leaning back a little while awaiting her reply. A playful half smile illuminated his cool blue eyes that beheld a glint of mischief.

Simperingly, she replied with a sigh, looking back down at the files she was putting away. 'Well, if you call straightening up the apartment while watching the old reruns big plans,' she said with a laugh.

Slowly but surely, she and Elliot had been working their way back to civilized or at least what could be considered 'friendly' conversation. They were getting back to laughing, sometimes even relaxing in each other's company. Ever since he had gone back to Kathy, something had changed - heck, their relationship was always vertiginous - but this time it was serious. Something had gone off in Olivia, some sort of switch had been flipped and illuminated a shift within her. It was of an uncharted nature, she couldn't tell you what had happened even if she wanted to. But she would always remember the feeling that submerged her when she found out Kathy was pregnant, that he was going back to her. It had been as if she was in free fall and suddenly she was overwhelmed by a feeling that bore a striking resemblance to betrayal, which only allowed an onslaught of confusion to smack her square in the face. She had no grounds to feel that way about Elliot's decision to go home - sure they were friends...but that was no excuse.

The fact that she couldn't place this feeling that tore at her insides and clung to her heart only angered her. She and Elliot had been so close for so long and she just didn't see it coming. Even still, it was more than that. It wasn't that she knew his favorite place to eat after work, or the fact that she knew he liked to write with the pen that had the blue grip instead of the red one even though they were exactly the same. No. It was more than that, no matter how cliché it sounded, it was true. They were on a different wave length than the rest of the world and at some point during those 2 years...sometimes, in a subconscious way, she almost thought she might have wanted...something else? Something more? At times she almost thought she saw it in his eyes, that he wanted the same thing. Almost.

But in reality, she could never allow herself to fully go there. She would never go so far as to let those thoughts consciously float through her mind. Not when it came to him... He meant too much. And as far as relationships went, if they even had the chance to develop

that far, she wasn't the most successful person in the world. Was it her or just the men she dated - a question she continually asked herself. It was one thing after another: she didn't have the time, she wasn't flexible, they thought the idea of 'sex crimes' was some kind of weird turn on, how does someone do a job like that day after day? Nobody understood... Except him.

He knew her, he understood her motives, he felt the same determination, the passion behind their work. It wasn't a job, it was a lifestyle, it was in their blood and it pulsed through their veins - it connected them. And yet, she still pulled away from him too. Clearly he was having issues at home, clearly neither of them knew what they really wanted. Just when she was so close to letting what would make her happy surface, she found a reason to submerge it once again. It was just like Elliot to give her that reason too, just like him to pull something like that, make her question everything.

But maybe, what bothered her most was the idea that she'd been wasting her life. She lived her life in anticipation, dating but never getting too close, letting men go before they'd ever even had a chance. She held back but she was determined to end that cycle.

'You?' she asked knowing the answer but figured to ask anyway.

'Nah. Wife. Kids. You know the drill,' he said with a small smile directed more towards her than the actual statement. Truth be told, nothing had changed or gotten better during the 2 years he and Kathy had been separated. Sure, he could put on a smile, kiss his wife on the cheek when he came home from work, and sit down and spend some 'family time' with his kids but the undercurrent was still just as tense. They all pretended to be a happy family but in reality, they picked up right where they'd left off.

Unfortunately though, things hadn't stayed the same between he and his partner, but then again, they never did. Their relationship was always in a constant shift and after he'd gone home, if that's what you wanted to call it, things took a turn for the worse. It was as if there was suddenly a mutual agreement to cease all communication between the two except for that which was absolutely necessary. Was it her doing? Was it his? Did they both distance themselves from each other all at once? He couldn't say for sure.

Part of him wished he had never sought Kathy that night... why'd he go back? But then again, he had a new son now, which in a way, made this whole mess worth it. Almost. Because that's exactly what his life was right now, a mess. At least his relationship with Olivia was on the mend, things still weren't perfect for them but how could they be? They were comfortably-awkward at best. Awkward because it had to be. Comfortable because they were both aware of it. And for them, it was okay.

'But if I find myself getting bored, I'll be sure to give you a call,' he said with laughter in his eyes as he grabbed his jacket and keys off the desk.

He gauged her reaction for a moment as a smile crept slowly across her face before laughing at his sarcasm. 'Yeah, a newborn baby - not to mention - a wife and 4 kids running around, I really don't think you'll need me to keep you busy.'

'True...' he said looking down at her desk. He paused for a second, just standing there apparently lost in thought, and she noticed his smile fade. Catching himself though, he sighed and looked back up at her. He looked far away, sadness etched in his features.

'Night Liv.' His mouth twitched in one last attempt of a smile before he left the squad room, returning home to his family.

As she watched him walk away, a small part of her heart sank. The idea of going home to her empty apartment slowly soaked through her skin causing her to release a long sigh as well. Perhaps she hoped whatever feeling had just overcome her would be exhaled along with it but she knew it was in vain.

Benson Residence

Thursday, 6:52 pm

Olivia's fingers fumbled with her keys as she tried to unlock the door to her apartment. For some reason, the locks reflected her feelings in their decision to become increasingly difficult to cope with, which irritatingly distracted her from her inner battle of whether to order Chinese or Thai for dinner. Eventually she heard the click she'd been waiting for. She was in, but as soon as she crossed the threshold, she instantaneously noticed that something was off. All of her lights were on - she never kept them on while she was out - and movement could be heard from the kitchen. She heard her oven door creek open, then close. A shadow was moving around on the floor.

The small flash of fear that always made itself present during situations such as these, swept through her. Adrenaline began to release itself slowly into her veins. Her heart sped up. Someone had broken in.

Her hand immediately gravitated towards her gun as she observed her surroundings. The door was clearly locked when she'd arrived. They couldn't have gotten through there without a key - not to mention that she had a key and could barely get in herself! No. There was no way he came through the door. Was one of her windows broken? The one in sight was not. Did he come in through her bedroom window? Why was he in the kitchen? There was nothing of value of in there. There wasn't anything of grand value anywhere really. Her jewelry was in the bedroom - not that any of it was really worth breaking in for. But that still didn't explain why he was messing with her oven... Could you blow up a building with an oven? Why the hell would he want to blow up the building? Especially while he was in it. She was being ridiculous now. Right

As she ran these questions through her head, she was also coming up with a plan. Should she just walk in, tell him to drop his weapon? Did he have a weapon? She still couldn't see who it was. Was it even a man? The shadow looked manly, she supposed, but still - it was a shadow. Rather quickly she saw the shadow on the floor come closer towards the living room, closer towards the area she was in. She hadn't even put down her things yet, let alone come up with a plan of action before tensing and steadying herself and her gun before the intruder entered the room, and he was entering the room all right. She had the gun pointed straight at the entrance of her kitchen -

'Freeze!' Her voice came loudly and firm.

Immediately she regretted her actions and let her arms fall stupidly to her side. She could feel her face grow red with humiliation at the sight of Mark stopped fixed with his hands up in surrender. She shoved her gun back into its harness with frustration at her own idiocy. Throwing her bag on the floor and letting her body relax itself, she ran a hand through her 

hair. Wow. Smooth. Pull a gun out on your boyfriend. Because that's smart. Real nice. She put her hands on her hips and couldn't decide whether she was more relieved or ashamed for being so stupid.

A slow smile spread across his face as realization fell upon him. She thought someone had broken in. He laughed to himself. This was too good, he'd die before he let her live this one down. He witnessed the warm blush that crept up her neck and into her cheeks and just beamed. The pinkish hue made her eyes dance with embarrassment and her small, self conscious smile ignite with mortification. She had no idea how beautiful she looked right now, which caused a warm feeling to radiate through him, spreading to his fingertips, just watching her.

Her skin felt as if it were on fire and suddenly it was unbearably hot inside. She couldn't believe she was that stupid. She couldn't believe she'd forgotten that they'd exchanged keys only a week ago in case of emergency or in case she was a little late so he didn't have to sit outside just waiting for her. She couldn't believe she'd forgotten... She heaved a sigh of frustration and finally looked up at him. Almost glaring. She was too humiliated to put a full on glare for him, or to be truly upset.

'Is there a problem here officer?' he asked her, mockingly timid as he lowered his hands, feigning a look of confusion, trying so hard not to laugh. Who did he think he was?

She took a few steps toward him. He finally gave way to his smile and held out his arms, prepared to embrace her but not before she jokingly hit him in the chest. 'Don't you ever call anymore?!' She scolded through the heat on her face that was just now starting to fade. She let out some self pitied laughter, still scorning her actions.

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry,' he apologized, laughing a little as he hugged her tighter before letting go. He pulled back a little so that he could see her face. He felt bad for startling her. 'I just wanted to surprise you,' he said motioning to the kitchen. Now that she wasn't so focused on the possible intruder in her home, she could faintly smell the aroma of Italian food that he always claimed to be so good at cooking, coming from the kitchen.

'Mm.' she said raising her eyebrows in an almost suspicious way before a warm smile spread across her face as she leaned in to kiss him. 'Well, I'd say it worked,' she mumbled against his lips as he put his arms around her waist, pulling her closer.

'Really, now?' He asked, smiling in between kisses. 'I didn't notice.' A few low laughs escaped her lips as she deepened their kiss. The thought that she'd never really had anyone to come home to before, dawned upon her. This single thought suddenly triggered a wave of affection for him to wash over her -

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Suddenly, a loud, high pitched noise began to sound throughout the apartment. Reluctantly, Olivia pulled back a few inches. 'Think you should go make sure you're not burning down my building?' He saw her lips curve slightly.

'Probably not a bad idea,' he agreed, leaning in for one last peck. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze before he went back into the kitchen and tried to turn off the fire alarm.

She had been seeing Mark Knowles for about 4 months now - a relatively decent amount of time for her. A few weeks after Kathy had the baby, she attended a birthday celebration for her co-worker and good friend, Casey Novak and Mark happened to be there - Friend of a Friend. When they met, Olivia honestly wasn't expecting much. Over the years, as sad as it was, she slowly began losing hope that there was that 'perfect guy' out there waiting for her that everyone tells you about as a kid. But Mark gave her hope - no he wasn't perfect but he certainly brought back the idea that she might just find a little happiness one day. He was good for her.

His features were classic. They had a certain quality reminding one of a classic film star but there was still a friendly softness to his dark hair and dark eyes, much like her own, that made you feel like you'd known the guy forever. And on occasion, that's exactly how Olivia felt, like she'd known him forever. It was strange, sometimes she almost couldn't believe how much she actually liked him, so she tried not to think about it. Usually, around this time, she would break it off. What was the point in getting attached to people if you knew that they weren't right for you, that in the end, you could only hurt each other? But all of those times, she didn't have a guy like Mark, she didn't have someone that really cared. Mark did. Well, she thought he did. She'd never had someone that she was dating just drop by her apartment to surprise her with dinner for no apparent reason before, so that surely a sign that he did. At least a little.

She lingered on the spot for a moment in a vague haze that resembled happiness. She was happy though. She really was. Mark made her very happy. There was no stress with him, no mixed signals like the ones she'd been receiving for the past 9 years. Sure, he was recently divorced and had a kid, but it was nothing she couldn't handle - she'd truly seen it all. And he was good for her... Not to mention the fact that Olivia absolutely adored children and his daughter was the sweetest 6 year old she'd ever seen.

'I'm going to go change, alright,' she called from the living room, waiting to hear his response before continuing. She always felt uncomfortable after coming home from work without changing her clothes.

She heard all the noise in the kitchen cease and he walked out leaning up against the wall with a coy look in his eyes. 'Need help?' She couldn't help the stupid grin that sprawled itself across her face.

She raised an eye brow at him trying to down play the temptation that she knew was evident in her eyes. 'We haven't even eaten yet...'

'I don't see what that has to do with anything,' he said, charm emanating from every pore in his body, from his tone to his body language, even his smile full of straight white teeth. Damn the man.

After a short inner battle with herself, she finally said, 'Maybe later when there's no chance of you trying to burn down the building again.' And with that, she turned around, heading down the hall towards her bedroom, laughing to herself a little. It would do him a little good to wait this time.

Olivia turned on the lamp that rested on her nightstand as she heard a clatter of pots and pans coming from the kitchen. She couldn't help but smile distantly at the thought of him running around her kitchen, trying to cook dinner for her. Trying to cook dinner for her...she thought to herself. At her basic core, she honestly hoped this would work out in the end. After all, it wasn't as if she wanted to throw any more time out the window.

She pulled a simple fitted, long sleeved, cotton shirt from her closet. It was a deep, sapphire color that she felt complemented her complexion well and then put on a pair of loose, low rise, black slacks. They were almost a stretch material that made relaxing possible while still looking nice. Perfect for such an occasion.

Just as she stepped towards the mirror to fix her hair a little, she heard a knock on the door. Thinking maybe her super needed something - what, she could only imagine - she stepped out of her room, walking towards the front door. She wasn't on call tonight so it couldn't be anyone from work...and if it was about work, they would just call. As she made her way towards the door, she stubbed her toe on the corner of a table, mumbling a few choice words. Mark just happened to be standing where he could easily see so after a small chuckle she heard his voice, 'You alright?' He poked his head out momentarily.

'Oh yeah, fine,' she said, brushing of the dull ache in her foot and continuing towards the door at the sound of another knock.

Stabler Residence

Thursday, 6:44 pm

Dammit! Elliot slammed the door with such force that he was sure he could hear the glass vibrating in their decorative panes. He could feel his steaming blood pound against his eardrums, trying desperately to contain the urge to hit something. It simply amazed him how easily anger of this multitude could overwhelm upon a simple argument with Kathy. And for Christ's sake! He'd only missed a parent teacher conference! It wasn't as if Lizzie came home pregnant!

'Elliot, the principle specifically asked that you be there this time and you told me that without a doubt, you'd be there! I mean, I know you generally never bothered with these things before but come on El!'

Elliot had known he had something to do today but with the case coming to a close, it was more of a distant thought than something on the top of his to-do list. He felt bad, he knew he'd promised Kathy he'd be there this time. He'd canceled out on his family for work plenty of times in the past so it was the least he could do but really...it was a parent-teacher conference. How serious could it be?! 'Kathy, I know...I know,' he said trying to regulate his breathing and keep his mouth shut. As he slowly paced back and forth, he could feel the anger build in his chest for the mere fact that she would not stop harping on the subject for the past ten minutes. He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck in an idle attempt to relieve the tension accumulating there. Wasn't it enough for her that he was even here in the first place?!

''I know, I know'' she said mocking him slightly and causing his blood to boil. He could only take so much more of this. 'I'm so sick of 'I know's Elliot! It's always the same story, every single time. It's your work, I know but seriously! Don't you care about your family at all?!' Now she'd struck a nerve, and she knew it. She didn't mean for that to come out, honestly she didn't. She knew Elliot cared deeply for his family, he'd do anything for them. She knew that his love and devotion to his family was the only reason he even began this job but after so many years, it gets old...and you forget.

She watched him shut his eyes, flinching at her words, and turn around to face her. He was trying, he was really, really trying so hard to suppress the rage that racked his body but it was becoming difficult. How dare she accuse him of not caring about his family? If anything, he cared too much! Why did she think he had this job? Why did she think he came back when she told him she was pregnant?! He was beyond over this conversation. They'd had it too many times before. 'God Dammit Kathy! It was a Parent-Teacher Conference for crying out loud!'

'With the Principle, Elliot. Lizzie's in trouble! Not to mention how embarrassing it was for me, trying to explain where you were after they'd specifically asked you to be there this time! I mean, I thought we'd picked a time that you could get off! What the hell were you doing?!'

'I was closing a case Kathy! Jesus!' She just didn't get it.

'And Olivia couldn't hold her own for an hour? Huh, El? Or is it that you really just have to be by her side 24/7?!' Kathy almost felt an instant remorse for saying it, considering all that Olivia had done for their family. Almost. It was just that after 9 years, when your husband spends more of his time with another woman instead of you, you can't help but feel the harsh burden of jealousy on a daily basis. And the worst part of it all was that she knew that as long as she and Elliot were married, there would never be another woman - not even Olivia - just because Elliot was not that kind of person, neither was Olivia from what she could gather, but she envied her on an intellectual basis. She envied that when her husband laughed, he was laughing with Olivia, that when he talked about his problems, he talked to Olivia...not her. It was rough to be 2nd in your husband's life.

Her words hung in the air above them like a thick cloud. He could feel his heart beat violently against his ribcage as his eyes narrowed and he stared her down. She met his glare with equal force so he could clearly see the passion rooted in it. The passionate jealousy, that is. That's what it was always about. She was just so God Damn jealous. Always had been...Always would be. No baby was going to change that. The door slammed behind him.

Elliot didn't know where he was going now. He had to walk off this anger or he would surely do something he'd regret. So as if in a trance, his feet plundered on robotically, letting the madness steam off, the constant sound of his rubber soled shoes against the pavement keeping him company. All he could do was distance himself from that house, from Kathy.

He didn't want to shut her out of his life - well, in the early years he hadn't - but she made everything so difficult. He therapeutically took in the cool, sweet, spring air, letting it cleanse his lungs as he tried to gain some control over his emotions. As the fog of tormented malice began to lift from his mind, thoughts of Olivia pooled there just waiting to be noticed.

He needed to talk, get his mind off things... He needed a new perspective and even though things had been rocky lately, she always knew the right thing to say, whether it was something he wanted to hear or not, it was right. Besides, she already told him earlier that she wouldn't be doing anything tonight and he was already heading in that direction anyway. He'd have to find himself a cab and pay her a visit.

Benson Residence

Thursday, 7:06 pm

She was loosely distracted by the pain coursing through her foot that she didn't even bother checking to see who it was before opening the front door - bad move, especially for a cop, NYPD no less. But before she even realized her mistake, it had swung open and she merely stood there...dumbfounded. Her eyes barely had time to register him before he began to speak.

'So I know that cleaning your apartment has got to be more appealing to you than Chinese food right now but I'm thinking if you give me a minute or two, I might be able to change your mind,' he said with a twinkle in his eye. His eyes quickly combed over her, God, she was beautiful. She had changed since they'd left for work. He liked seeing her relaxed like that outside of work. It seemed like it'd been forever...

She didn't say anything. She just sort of stood there with her hand on the door, staring blankly at him. Did she even hear him? Was she playing dumb and just didn't want to go? No, that wasn't like Liv. Well, he knew it had been a while but seriously... But just as the leak of panic sprung, she snapped out it but he wasn't sure if that was necessarily a good thing since the look on her face made him question if he'd just grown an extra head.

'Elliot, what are you doing here?' The tone of her voice was so serious... He didn't get it. They used to do this all the time and it had never been a problem before. Sure, things had changed but he had really thought they were getting back into the swing of things.

"I told you I was coming over if I got bored. Did you really think I was kidding?" He tried to lighten the mood but she was making it so difficult with the sound of her voice and the look on her face. It made him feel like he was asking her for a kidney - and she'd already promised him one anyway!

"El-" she started, blinking her eyes as if she thought that he might be gone when she opened them again. Wrong. She didn't know what she could possibly say. She hadn't expected him - him of all people...at least not right now. "I-um," She tried to begin what might be considered an explanation but wasn't sure if she was going to manage. "Listen-"

"Liv, babe! Dinner's almost ready. Or at least what's left of it if you want to come in here real quick." A voice sounded from within her apartment. Apparently, he was unaware that she was still at the door. She felt her body tense at his words, how could she not with Elliot standing right there? She didn't have a shot in hell of getting out this one now.

He was so taken aback that he wasn't even sure he could process what he'd just heard. It wasn't until he felt his stomach churn and knot itself that realization dawned upon him. She wasn't alone. She had some guy back there and here he was, standing on her door step. Instantly he felt as if he were the world's single, biggest idiot. What the hell had he been thinking?

"Kay! Ehm, just... give me a second." She called back to him then turned around to face Elliot again. A shameful look swept over her eyes as she looked up at him. His jaw shifted forward and his mouth tightened, trying to keep his face from surrendering to the hurt that obviously was threatening to overcome his features. She couldn't bare the fact that her actions had caused this reaction in him. She opened her mouth to say something, to try and explain but nothing came out. She'd never been in a situation like this before...

"Oh-" he said clearing his throat trying to rid his voice of the emotion that hopelessly clung to it. "Um - I guess I should uh..." he attempted to string together a sentence, motioning towards the stairs, but he felt slightly disorientated. He still couldn't grasp what was going on.

"Elliot- No, wait-" she started, stepping towards him - a useless attempt to get him to stop because he wouldn't let her. There was no way he was going to let her embarrass him any more than she'd already managed, by taking pity on him. He didn't think he could handle it.

"No," he said and she stopped. "No-no, I'm gunna go and um... you two," he vaguely motioned towards her and then the building in an almost drunken fashion. "Uh - you two have fun..." he said surprised that he could even get the words out. He gave a short but adamant nod, wishing he'd never come. How could he have been so stupid?

"El..." she hardly got out but it was too late. She watched him disappear down the stairs and it was as if a tidal wave of guilt came crashing down on her. She knew she didn't have the strength nor the heart to emerge from it right now so she just let it surround her. She couldn't move.

A/N: Hope you like it so far! If you did, please Review. If you didn't, please Review! Haha Just the click of a button and you'll absolutely make my day! Just let me know if you read and want more. Suggestions are always taken into account and I love to hear from you! Especially since it's the first time. THANKS! - Candice