A/N: Ok, this is gonna be a short a/n for me. Lol. Usually they're like 3 paragraphs long! Ok. The song in italics is "the way I feel" by 12 stones. Ah-mazing song. Check it out, & R&R & I'll love ya forever!! :D

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For almost an hour, all she did was sit in that dark corner by the fireplace & cry. Just cry her heart out. There really wasn't anything else she could do. She didn't have any friends, & she certainly didn't want her adopted son, Toby, to see her in such a state of misery. And there was no way on heaven, hell or earth that she would rely on Mr. Todd for support. He was the damned man she was so miserable about, for God's sake!

Lately I've been wandering
Off the narrow path
You've given me so many things that I've never had

And all in all I know it's you that always pulls me through
If you reach deep inside you'll see my heart is true

No one seemed to care anymore, no one seemed to even notice that she was so melancholy, that she'd lost her usual cheerfulness. No one noticed that she was head over heels for a man who would never love her back. The whole world seemed to just pass her by without a second glance. She had no one to confide in, no one to lean on in times so rough, no one to love her. Except Toby. That boy was the only tiniest bit of hope left in her cold heart. All the rest of her former gracious joy had been sucked out of her thin frame by a man so cold, so unloving, so depressing.

The world I know is pulling me
More and more each day
I feel like the odd man out as I begin to pray

Spiteful eyes are watching me
With everything I do
In the midst of darkness Lord
My spirit calls for You

Those deep sunken eyes, that pure black hair, with that streak of white, those coal black eyes, almost as dark as his heart. He didn't care about her. He didn't even acknowledge her presence. Never did he ever show some sort of gratitude toward his landlady, never once did he ever show he was thankful in the least bit. Never would he ever be anything but a loathsome cold man to her. He had no once of appreciation in his dark soul.

Nellie laid there on the floor, the hope of ever having a happy life draining from her heart into the heat of the fire. Staring into the flames of her fireplace, just imagining a life again made her heart ache with the pain of reality once more. She couldn't stop the tears from falling onto the rug beneath her, soaking her dress & shoulders in the process.

'Cause I hate the way I feel tonight
And I know I need you in my life
Yes I hate the way I feel inside
And I promise to make the sacrifice

Suddenly, she heard the stomp of boots coming down the stairs outside her pie shop. She wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her dress, hoping to hide any signs of her breakdown from this man coming through the door towards her living room in search of his landlady. Pulling on the arm of the couch next to her, she helped herself up off the cold floor, just as Sweeney appeared in the doorway.

Come on…

His eyes, dark and full of hate, seemed to soften with worry as he saw the wreck Mrs. Lovett was in. He took her all in, from her disheveled hair, her reddened eyes, & the tearstained cheeks. Her makeup was running from her eyes, there was no doubt in his mind she had been crying. A silence was filling the room, drowning them in. Finally, Sweeney dared to break that wall between them.

"…Mrs. Lovett… are you alright?" he asked uncertainly. His eyebrows furrowed together, worry shining in his black eyes. She didn't even dare to look up & meet his gaze, for fear that he would see the tears still coming down her cheeks. Little did she know, he'd already seen them. He advanced on her gently when she didn't respond. "Mrs. Lovett, look at me," he said more serious this time, getting impatient with her. When she finally looked into his eyes, he saw more tears falling from her eyes. Immediately, she brought her hand to her face, wiping away her tears, not caring that he'd seen.

You know sometimes deep inside
I feel like this

On impulse, he reached his hand up to wipe away a stray tear, but thinking better of it, he lowered his hand back down beside his waist. Nellie saw this, & for a split second thought he actually cared enough to wipe away her tears, but when he'd retracted, a new batch of tears emerged to the surface. How could actually get her hope back that easily? From a silly hand gesture, that seemed to be out of kindness, but that would never come from Sweeney. That sort of act would never come from the hands of Sweeney Todd. He would just take her feelings 

& flush them down the toilet… but considering they had no flushable toilets back then, he would just throw her feelings in the Thames River.

'Cause I hate the way I feel tonight
And I know I need you in my life

Annoyance shown in Sweeney's eyes now, he'd seen that glimpse of hope in her eyes, as if she thought he would give her the satisfaction. But that annoyance boiled back down when she looked back up at him, both anger & sadness glimmering on the surface. His eyes widened slightly at this new emotion coming from Nellie.

She couldn't help it anymore, all her anger, all her despair, all her hate came flowing out of her mouth in curses & insults towards Mr. Todd.

Yes I hate the way I feel inside
And I promise to make the sacrifice

"How could you ever do this to me, Mr. T? You never do anything for me, never say thank you, never even acknowledge anything I say!! I'm so sick & fucking tired of you pushing me around like your slave, & expecting me to do it with a bloody smile on my face!!" she waved her hands around frantically as she spat her words out in disgust. Sweeney was frozen to the spot where he was standing, almost scared at the sudden outburst. Nellie was screaming now, tears still rolling down her cheeks, her eyes redder than ever, her skin paler than the moon.

'Cause I hate the way I feel tonight
And I know I need you in my life
Yeah, the way I feel

"I hate you! I hate you, that way you make me feel, like a fucking whore, never getting even the benefit of the doubt, never! Never anything! I'm so tired of acting like everything's just peachy & swell, where in all reality, I could commit suicide & you wouldn't even give me a second glance!!" The tears came freely now, soaking her cheeks & falling onto her shoulders & collarbone. Sweeney was backing up ever so slightly, as Mrs. Lovett kept coming forward. His mind was telling him to try to calm her down somehow, but he really didn't know if speaking was exactly a good idea at the time.

The world I know is pulling me
More and more each day

Spiteful eyes are watching me
With everything I do

She suddenly advanced on Sweeney, hitting him in the chest with all her mite ((which at this point, was barely anything)), her tears still falling. Sweeney took her by the shoulders, & tried to push her backwards toward the couch, but she came back with renewed force, & pushed her way past him, running to the door to the pie shop.

I hate the way, the way I feel

She kept running til she found herself at the base of a bridge. Stopping to catch her breath, she leaned over the railing of the bridge. An idea popped into her head as she breathed heavily still. All that running wasn't good for a 41 year old woman on a rant. She started to slowly walk to the middle of the bridge, when she heard loud footsteps coming towards her again. She didn't even have to look up to see who it was.

'Cause I hate the way I feel tonight
And I know I need you in my life
Yes I hate the way I feel inside
And I promise to make the sacrifice

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Thanks fer readin' , & puh-leaze review ppl : I luv it when I get em! It helps me to write faster & with more PASSION lol