Every organization has a how to behave to be a member of us... manual. Below is Akatsuki's.

Disclaimer: This site is called Fan Fiction dot net. If you cannot figure out from that that the following is a work of fan fiction and that the characters and the setting do not belong to khalida-dae, please contact your village head and inform him/her that your village is no longer missing its idiot.

Welcome to Akatsuki! Please read the following manual, sign, date, and return the form on the back indicating you have read and understood this manual in its entirety.

WARNING: If you are reading this manual, it is assumed that you are a full member of Akatsuki. If you do not have this status, continuing reading is highly inadvisable as you have either:

A) killed one of our members and are currently going through his or her personal effects;

B) sneaked into headquarters and stolen a copy from our library;

C) stolen the personal effects of one our members; or

D) hacked into our main frame.

In the event of A, kindly stick around. Zetsu will be by shortly to discuss our employment offer. Although we will require that you read this at some point in the future, we prefer to explain the general nature of our organization first. This should reduce confusion on your part.

In the event of B, please fill out the following:

Dear (insert next of kin and address here):

I regret to inform you that I made a grave error in judgment. Although I thought my target was unaware of my presence, they were. By the time you read this, I will have been tortured and killed, and my body will have been disposed of in an unidentifiable manner. The blood on this letter is mine and may be used for identification purposes.

Sincerely,

(Sign your name above)

In the event of C, fill out the following:

Dear (insert next of kin and address here):

I am an idiot. I stole (list stolen items) from (insert Akatsuki member's name. If unknown, leave blank), an S-Class criminal and known member of Akatsuki. As penance for my many sins, (insert Akatsuki member's name) has permanently removed me from the gene pool. Hopefully my existence did not cause you any great difficulty.

Sincerely,

(Sign your name above)

Akatsuki note: If the removal of the above named person is a cause of great joy, please donate to our cause using the attached envelop.

In the event of D, although we are not computer geeks and many of us are computer illiterate, we pride ourselves in our ability to hire good people who can and will track you down. We highly advise that you run, find a new profession, and a new name. If you provide a good enough chase, we may offer you a subordinate position. Your life depends entirely on your ability to entertain us. Now, get moving.

All authorized personnel (and you know who you are) are required to read this manual in its entirety and sign the attached sheet indicating you have both received and read it. (Yes, Hidan. You must read this manual.)

Note: Each section of this manual was originally written by individual members of Akatsuki and all contents appear in the order in which they were received. As such, it is subject to editing by senior management (aka. Pein and Madara). Any edits are final. Dispute at your own risk.