Last Week

Toph and Sokka were in love.

It was pretty simple to see, really, Katara figured, after being at the reuniting of the final six on their way to an international peace conference. Whenever the two were separated, he moped around all day and brightened up at any mention of the blind earthbender, and his heated defenses of any such action were so avid that it had pretty much been tested, proved, and printed on the front page of every newspaper around the world.

Toph wasn't much better—or, perhaps, a bit worse. The two had been at each others throats more often than not lately, and there was no secret as to why. Toph, driven mad by her own feelings, and reminiscing of the old days: the bitter tang of unrequited love, smeared across a side of painted warrior. She'd been desperately attempting to get herself mad at Sokka, to keep him away from her—from the blind earthbender's point of view, she just saw no other way.

And it was driving her crazy. She and Aang had been so much better than this, she was sure—how much longer could their defenses hold up?! In all honesty, there was no telling, and there was no answer but one: something had to happen. Help had to come from somewhere, someone. Soon.

So.

Katara came up with a plan. A very fiendish, very effective plan.

And it all came down to Sokka. And subtlety.

Which didn't go together so well.

But...

It was a last resort.

And besides, think how Toph would thank her when it was all over! Honestly, that man was too dense—love-wise—to see past his own nose. Or, perhaps, Toph's, from the way he'd been staring at her lately.

Saturday

Sokka was scared. Very scared indeed.

But then again, he gulped, stuck up here by his super-intimidating sister and his limbs frozen to the tree, he had quite a reason to be.

Eyes gleaming, Katara leaned forward. "Sokka, you know what I'm about to tell you."

"No," he squeaked, eyeing the sharpened icicle in her hand. "I really don't."

"Well," she declared, "then I'll tell you." Pausing, Katara paced. "It's driving me crazy!" she burst out at last. "You and Toph are in love, and neither of you will admit it. You're meant. To. Be."

Sokka decided he probably shouldn't argue with her, and interceded, "Yeah. Meant. To. Be. Totally."

Inwardly, Katara felt like melting into the ground. Relief was only a few days away. Looking her brother straight in the eyes, she said, "You have one week. One week to make her yours, make her admit it. Understand? Seven days only. And then..." She raced the icy dagger threateningly, and Sokka looked away with a muffled whimper.

"Yeah! Sure! Of course! Anyway," he added smugly, "With my superior planning skills, I could get Toph in two days if you asked me to."

Katara raised an eyebrow, and Sokka fixed his mistake with a quick: "Not that I'm asking for two days. A week is fine, just fine. Perfect. Amazing. Wonderful."

His sister nodded slowly, and with a sweeping motion dispelled the ice. As she walked, she turned back to call out, "Don't push her though, okay? Toph won't like being pushed at all."

Musing on the strange and extraordinarie events that were his sister's moodswings, Sokka grinned.

"Don't you worry, Katara. My boyish charm, of course," he drew himself up with this, "would be enough, but subtlety is required here."

Staring straight ahead, Sokka announced to no one in particular, "I'm gonna get Toph, wait and see. And let me tell you, I know just the perfect way to do it. Subtlety is the way to do it, subtlety ..."

What do you know.

Lo and behold, Sokka was right.

Sunday

Following the actions taken by, hem, a certain meddling family member, Sokka decided it was completely pointless to go on like this, with the constant agony of being away and the stubborn refusal to admit to anything more than friendship.

So, clearing his throat and requesting politely a large, tall rock to stand on, Sokka proclaimed—to a smug Katara, an unsurprised Zuko, a half-amused, half annoyed Mai, and a curious Aang, "I, the master swordsman extraordinaire boomerang battle expert strategy guru, am in love."

Toph tripped on air.

Bending off the dirt with a choppy, haphazard motion, she picked herself up. "And you expect me to…care?" she said, sounding a bit funny. "Just—buzz off. I'm..." Toph struggled for a moment, and left the words to hang. "I'm...going," she finished. "Now."

With a faintly exasperated look on his face, Sokka watched her leave.

Katara, on the other end, took it so far as the smack herself on the head and wonder why in Tui's name she even tried.

Monday

It was only on the following day that Toph came up with the obvious conclusion. Marching straight up to the Water Tribe Warrior, she demanded of him, "I want answers, okay? Cause, I mean, it's only logical—you have to be in love with someone, right?"

"I guess so," Sokka conceded.

Toph waited. At last, she could stand it no longer. "Well? Who?"

"A girl," he replied mysteriously, a dazed look coming over his face as his eyes ran over the woman in question. "She's gorgeous, and smart, and tough, and wonderful."

Her nose wrinkled doubtfully. "And you're...in love with her?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Sokka admitted, shrugging. "I wonder when she'll figure it out..." he added, a strange hinting note in his voice. Toph ignored it as another one of his weird quirks.

"Well," she said, a scowl pasted across her face, "I guess it's up to me to find out before she does. Poor girl. I pity her, getting stuck with you," Toph commented disdainfully, as Sokka blanched.

"But what about my manliness and boyish charm?" he whined, eyes glued to her retreating figure.

"Oh, yeah, Snoozles," Toph shot back, "The charmiest."

Sokka beamed. "Why, thank you—" His face fell. "Why you feel the need to do that, I'll never know."

"I try," Toph simpered, before sinking down into her own little hole and beginning to think.

Or, perhaps, plot.

Was it Toph Bei Fong, in the end, that was pulling the strings? That was making it all happen?

The world may never know.

Tuesday

Promptly at noon, Toph wasted no time in marching up to Sokka and declaring, "I've figured it out. I know who it is—though you could fool me, huh? Well, you're wrong."

With a hopeful expression on his face, Sokka looked up. "Who?"

Toph scowled. "Stop playing games with me, Snoozles. It's the Suki-bitch you're in love with, and you damn well know it. As for me—well, I knew, at least, that you were still crazy about her. Hmph. As if I'm surprised."

With a strangled sound in the back on his throat, Sokka corrected, "She is not a bitch," and added after a moment, "No. Not Suki." A dreamy look fell across his face as he stared at her, with chopped off hair shoved into a messy bun—she'd sliced it off last week—and her cheeks flushed, and her pale, green eyes staring blankly but fiercely ahead.

"She…" he mumbled, lovestruck, lovestoned, and any other type of so-much-in-love-you-can-hardly-breathe ever thought up, "is much more beautiful."

Toph spent the rest of the day muttering curse words under her breath and making sure each footstep left a crater-wide hole in the ground.

And Sokka?

Sokka waited.

Wednesday

"It's Ty Lee," Toph declared suddenly and spontaneously at lunch the next day, and spat on the ground. "The circus freak. You never did get over her, did you?"

Sokka fought the urge to scream, but settled with a well-justified choke on his tea—Zuko had made it, anyway, and he wasn't looking forward to an early death. Beginning to wonder who was really the dumbass around here, he explained patiently, "No, Toph. It is not Ty Lee." Sokka frowned. "And when was I ever under her, anyway?"

It was Aang's turn to choke on his tea, and Katara's to fall right out of his lap—right onto a very displeased Momo.

Sokka looked around, clueless. "Well, it's true, I was always on top—"

Right on cue, Zuko's tea was spat halfway across the room.

"Good riddance—the tea sucked anyway," Toph snorted, and stomped off.

This time, the crater-footprints went to the center of the earth, and maybe a little farther. To say the least, that people of the Northern Water Tribe were very confused. Very confused, indeed.

Too bad, really. They just had no idea that there was a love story in progress.

Thursday

"I know for sure, this time," she mumbled, shoving through Zuko, Katara, and Aang to reach Sokka, as he calmly polished his boomerang.

"You though I wouldn't be able to figure it out," Toph began haughtily, "But it's completely obvious when you think of it. You've been visiting the prison a suspicious amount lately, anyway—"

Sokka eyed her curiously, and set down his boomerang. "Wait, who are we talking about? 'Cause if she's hot, and free on Monday nights—"

"Hot, just like you to make a little joke," Toph spat out, and wasted no time in announcing loudly, "Apparently, you've moved onto the stage where you begin to fall for homicidal freaks, so it's really no surprise at all to me that you're in love with her—"

"Her who?" he inquird, truly puzzled.

Toph gave an exasperated sigh. "Stop denying it, I can see right—you dumbass! It's—whatsername, Sparky's sister!"

Zuko paled. "Are we talking about me Sparky here, because if we are—"

"Her?" Aang said faintly, appearing horrified. "Sokka, I thought you had better taste than that—"

"Her who!" The warrior in question shouted out, greatly frustrated, to which Toph stamped her foot and growled out, "Why Azula, of course!"

Sokka fainted.

Friday

For the first time, Toph was silent nearly throughout the entire day. She wore a strange, unfamiliar expression on her face that half-worried, half-excited Sokka. Katara, Aang, Zuko, and Mai watched on eagerly, as if attempting to decipher a fascinating puzzle, the likes of which the world had ever known.

And, for once in his life, Sokka made a wise choice, and let her alone.

At twilight, at last, his patience was rewarded.

Walking up to him with a blush on her face native only to her preteen years, Toph scuffed her feet in the dirt.

"You—I—" She swallowed, took a deep breath, and restarted. "I think I've figured it out. Who you're in love with, I mean."

"You have?" Sokka asked quickly, standing up straight. Flushed, he looked away. "I mean—you have."

"Yes." A determined expression came across her face. "I have."

"Oh." Sokka cleared his throat. "So...who?

"It's..." Toph sighed. "God, you moron. I mean—how was I supposed to know—you could have dropped a few hints!"

"Err—yes—well—I though my boyish charm would get you instead...?" Sokka proposed weakly, as she snorted.

"Sure you did. But—the point is—" Sokka hung eagerly on her every word, but alas, it was not to be. For flying at him at a hundred and twenty miles an hour came none other than...

Toph Bei Fong's fist.

"You bastard," she growled "You had to fall in love with me, and then try to tell me about it subtly, and you didn't even give a damn when all the whole plan did was drive—me—crazy." With each word she savagely forced herself into his face, until the two were nose to nose.

"You," she announced, sightless eyes staring directly into his. "You. You sure as hell better kiss me, because if you don't, I swear—there will be some major ass kicking ahead. And, who knows, there might be some anyway."

Sokka looked at her blankly, hardly able to believe his success and/or future pain.

Toph sighed. "Do I have to do everything around here?" Drawing back, with a gentleness known only to those closest to her, Toph pressed her lips softly against Sokka's.

"Now..." she whispered. "Who put you up to it, anyway?"

Sokka began to object, but Toph interrupted. "You're too much of a moron to come up with it on your own. I should probably thank them from saving me from another big helping of your own stupidity."

"But—I'm the master swordsman extraordinaire boomerang battle expert strategy guru!" he pointed out. "Shouldn't you...respect me...or something...?" Sokka trailed off reluctantly, as Toph face formed a fierce expression. "I mean—your eyes—they shine like stars—and—and—do you wanna play a prank on Zuko tomorrow?" he burst out at last, squeezing his eyes shut and unable to think of any better solution.

Wonder of wonders, a smile broke across Toph Bei Fong's face. "Yeah, I'd love to. Right after a good long make out session, that is," she added, to which Sokka couldn't hold back an anticipatory grin. Toph chuckled, and wrapped her arms around the Water Tribe Warrior.

Sokka gladly returned the embrace, and Toph smiled. "You know..." she murmured into his ear, as Zuko—eavesdropping, along with the others, on the entire proceeding—paled, "I just realized something." Grinning ear to ear, Toph came up with a conclusion so well renowned, and so well founded, that to this day it echoes across the surface of the earth.

"You and me? Why, the days of the week will never be the same."

They weren't.

A/N: Ha ha, liked this one. Hopefully I'll get up the next chapter of I'd Lie, a little less a love story, cry me a rainbow, and chasing forever up next, though not necessarily in that order (with the exception of the first). Two of them are Zutara, so wish me luck :D And please, tell me what you thought of this little piece, too!