AN: Entry For You're Not Allowed In Challenge, At NFA.... Which turned into more Tony/Gibbs Father/Son. So Enjoy!!:)

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"Your presence is requested at the main entrance security kiosk."

Gibbs didn't have to ask why, and neither did the rest of his team as they watched him dart towards the elevator determined, yet sad.

McGee was the first to comment. "Wish there was something we could do."

Ziva sighed as she stood up from her desk and moved towards the empty one across from her. "He has made his own choices yes? There is little if anything we can do for him now."

"Yeah but…I don't know. Maybe if I'd tried a little harder keeping in touch, noticed the signs…"

"There is no sense in feeling guilty McGee," her face was stoic but inside she felt the same as her partner. "No one can help Tony, unless he first wants to help himself."

Tim knew she was right, but it didn't make him feel any better. "Yeah…" He looked towards the elevator. "Think maybe we should go down this time?"

"If Gibbs needed us, he would have asked."

"Maybe or maybe he was waiting for us to ask him. You never know with the boss…especially lately."

Ziva sat behind her desk in response, as if making a statement.

Tim shrugged. "Well I'm gonna go down there…" He stood up with little hesitation and moved towards the stair well, after all, he had to make up on lost time.

"DiNozzo…" Gibbs stated for the fifth time in the last minute.

"Don't get that tone with me boss…I know that tone…it's the disappointed tone, and right now that's the last thing I want to hear."

"Right now, I don't care what you want. You know damn well, they can't let you in…and I can't help you."

It was then; Tony froze with his hands out and cupped his ears. "Did I just hear right? Did you just say you can't help me…? Somebody mark this date in the history books…Leroy Jethro Gibbs is admitting he can't do something…"

Gibbs moved towards him and waved away the Security surrounding him. "Are ya done?"

"With this Agency? I guess so…"

"This is just temporary DiNozzo…but if you keep this up, it'll damn well be permanent."

Tony speech was a bit slurred, but he still managed to get his point across. "Face it boss…Vance has no intent on bringing me back…you said it, he wants Agents more like the Probie...and less like you and me…just a matter of time before you're gone off to Mexico for good…"

Tim had been listening long enough. "We're not NCIS without Agents like you and the boss Tony…you know that! So quit making this worse on yourself…let me take you home."

"Didn't see ya standing there Probie…guess you're getting more like Ziva by the day. Well don't worry, you two will be just fine without me…"

"No we wont…" Tim's voice was loud so he wasn't mistaken. "Let me take you home…you can sleep this off…"

"Sleep it off? You don't just sleep off killing the Director of NCIS, Probie…you don't just sleep off seeing your partner shot point blank in the head…you don't just sleep off your heart being ripped out of your chest…"

It was then Gibbs stepped forward a second time. "If you wanna wallow in self pity DiNozzo…go home and build a boat." He took in a breath. "You keep coming here like this, they're gonna lock you up…that what you want?"

"Maybe its what I deserve."

Gibbs stare intensified. "You want to let your mistakes ruin you, then so be it. But don't expect me to stand around and watch it…" He turned his back on his Senior Agent with one swift move and left with his characteristic silence.

Tony started after him but was promptly held back by armed guards. "Go ahead…leave me boss…everyone else has…"

Tim watched Gibbs continue to walk away, despite Tony's words.

"He's right Tony…"

"What else is new Probie." He responded quickly, and motioned that he was ceasing his plight to gain entry. He was soon released by the guards and followed towards the exit.

"I can drive you home." Tim offered a second time.

Tony glanced back at him but gave no response before being ushered outside the doors.

Tim was left with nothing but the look on his face and slowly but surely directed himself back into the bull pen. He said nothing as he sat down and knew better than to offer his opinions without being asked. But this time was different…

"Why do you think he keeps coming back boss?"

Gibbs threw his coffee cup in the trash with more force than necessary. "Do I look like I have all the answers McGee?"

"Actually boss…you do." Tim surprised even himself with that response, but this whole situation had thrown him for a loop. Sure, Tony had been through some rough times, heck, they all had…but no one expected this. Right?

Gibbs stood up at the reply. "Well hell, McGee…maybe I should run for President…" And with that he left.

"I do not think he was asking for a real answer McGee."

Tim didn't look up at her. "I guess I should've just stayed up here."

"What happened?"

"Same as the last three times, expect this time Gibbs turned his back on him and left. I didn't think I'd live to see that."

"Perhaps he is fed up yes?"

"The boss doesn't get fed up with Tony…he gets irritated, aggravated, annoyed, angry…but he wouldn't turn his back on him unless…"

"He felt he had to," Ziva finished for him. "A little bit of rough love, yes?"

"Tough."

She received the correction and continued. "It may do him some good. He cannot continue showing up here drunk and expect Gibbs to get him out of it every time…it is childish."

"He's in pain." Tim stated, but not to refute her. "He doesn't know what to do…"

"We have all been in pain," her voice softened. "It can cause you to do things, you will most often regret."

"Tony already has."

"Well he has not lost his job yet, McGee. Though I fear one more outburst like this and he might."

Tim agreed. "And without the boss buffering the Director, he could be in real trouble."

Ziva stared at the empty desk across from her once again. "He already is McGee."

"It appears Anthony paid us another visit." Ducky was quick to read his friends expression as he entered through the autopsy doors.

"That obvious Duck?"

"Well that, and we don't have a case…so either he showed up, or you got lost on your way to the coffee shop."

Gibbs didn't smile. "I turned my back on him Duck."

"Perhaps rightfully so Jethro…he cannot expect you to come running every time he throws a fit. You're not his Father and he is not a two year old boy in a candy shop." He examined his friend a second time. "I realize you care for him, but he is not your responsibility…Anthony is a grown man."

"Except, he is my responsibility Ducky…I feel like…" He searched for the right phrase.

"Like you failed him?" The ME finished for him. "The boy has been let down many a time in his life...he looks up to you, but you cannot bear that pressure Jethro. You are not his parent."

"Makes me wonder who is."

"If Anthony chooses to go down this path, then there is little any of us can do to stop him…except show him that we'll be there when he's ready to ask for help."

"Sounds too cliché for me Duck."

"Yes well, you always were one to go against the grain…but be aware, that he is in pain…and pain as you know, can make you do irreversible things."

Gibbs nodded slowly. "I cant be a bystander…he's my Agent."

"Then why did you turn your back on him?"

"I was pissed…" He started to pace a bit.

"Do you honestly believe he is coming back here to simply 'piss' you off?"

"Hell if I know…it's like he wants to get fired…like he's punishing himself."

Ducky nodded towards him. "Something you are quite familiar with."

A moment of silence passed before the ME continued. "You were alone Jethro…is that how you want Anthony to be?"

Gibbs didn't have to respond, and with a simple nod of thanks, he was gone.

"I can't have my Agency being embarrassed every other day of the week…you better tell me your Agent is worth it, or I pick up this phone and permanently refuse him entry onto the yard for good."

Gibbs didn't waiver. "You trust my gut Leon?"

"When it benefits this Agency."

"Well then trust it now…DiNozzo may have gone off the handle, but he's worth the hassle…I can handle him."

"Like you handled him today?"

Gibbs clenched his teeth. "Give him one more chance…"

Leon's hand moved from over the phone. "You willing to risk your reputation for this kid?"

Gibbs turned towards the door. "I'm willing to risk more than that…"

He arrived at Tony's apartment and let himself in…not because he had a key, but because the door was unlocked. He passed through a litter of clothes as he made his way inside…

"DiNozzo!" He shouted a few times before discovering his Senior Agent laid out on the love seat…a bottle of bourbon donning the coffee table. Gibbs picked it up with a heartless smile and decided against waking him up right then. He proceeded to clean up what he could and placed himself on the coffee table, dead center from where his Agent was fast asleep…. And it was there he waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Until…

"Am I dead?" Tony managed as his eye lids pealed open one by one.

"That can be arranged."

He tried sitting himself up before deciding against it. "My head feels like its been slapped a few thousand times."

"That's because it has…" Gibbs stated plainly.

Tony rubbed at his eyes. "What are you doing here anyway? Thought you didn't want to buy tickets to this show…"

"I lied."

He attempted sitting up a second time. "Nah…you were pissed. There's a difference."

"You know me too well."

He succeeded, and sat up fully. "Bet you cant find too many who can say that huh?"

"No."

"Do I win a prize or something?"

Gibbs met his wandering eyes. "What do you want?"

"Loaded question."

"Deserves an answer…"

"And if I say I don't know."

"Now whose lying?"

Tony stopped the rapid conversation. "I think my heads starting to spin."

Gibbs put his hand up. "I can fix that."

"Uh, no thanks boss…I'm good."

"Fine…then answer the question."

"What was the question again?"

Gibbs remained in solid eye contact. "What do you want?"

"Oh right, the loaded question…" he rubbed at his temples. "Well where do I start?"

"How about the beginning…"

"Always a favorite." He cleared his throat. "Once upon a time, lived little Anthony DiNozzo…a rich young laddie with a good head on his shoulders…his Mother and Father were a picture perfect couple with high hopes for the boy. But little Anthony chose to pursue an unorthodox path of football and law enforcement…His Mother died soon after his acceptance to college and his Father took less and less of an interest in little Anthony's life…It wasn't long before the family he once knew no longer existed and he was left alone to toil life's trials on his own…"

Gibbs expression changed. "Not bad for being hung over."

"It plays like a record in my brain…round and around, and around and around…"

He began to sway before Gibbs reached out to steady him.

It was then Gibbs reached under the table for the empty bottle of bourbon. "You look up to me that much?"

"Figured if it worked for you….it had to work for me…it's not like I lost my wife and kid." He cringed. "Sorry boss, bourbon talking."

"Yeah, I know the language…" He set the bottle back down. "And I'm not letting you learn it."

"It helps…" he pinched his fingers together. "I forget it all."

"Record keeps playing when you wake up."

"Valid point…you're beginning to sound like Ducky."

"He been by?"

"Only every other night…he just pops in, shares a story or two. Cleans up a little…doesn't stay quite as long as Abby though."

He almost smiled. "Im surprised she's not here now."

"I told her not to come back."

"You did what?"

Tony closed his eyes as if regretting it. "Better for her…its what you would've done…"

"You're not me…"

"Minus the silver hair…and killing Jenny. You're right…"

Gibbs swallowed. "You don't want to go there DiNozzo."

"Been 'there' for the last five months boss…just another record, playing around and around…"

"Worth your career?"

"It was worth your life…" Tony spoke before thinking. "Franks told me you let that chick get you in her sights in Jenny's office…that you were toying with death and to watch out for ya…yeah well, if its worth you risking your life for the guilt…then my career is a blip on the radar…"

"Didn't realize we were just a blip to you."

Tony looked up at him. "We?"

"You know damn well who I'm talking about."

"Ah, you guys are doing fine without me…"

"I'm sure that's why you keep showing up…"

"It's the bour—"

Gibbs interrupted. "Bourbon…yeah, spare me the melodramatic DiNozzo, this isn't a movie…this is real life, and in real life you man up to what you've done…and it either defeats you, or you defeat it."

Tony's eyes were now misted with tears. "Guess I'm defeated boss…" He threw his hands up. "Look at me."

"No…you look at me." Gibbs placed both hands on his face and forced him to meet his eyes. "You are not defeated…you hear me?"

"Hear…yes. Believe, no."

Gibbs set his jaw firm. "I cant take back the bullet that killed Kate…I cant take back the bullets that killed Jenny….and I cant take back the bullet that killed my wife and daughter…" He let his hands down and took in a breath. "But I can wake up every damn day of my God forsaken life and face that fact…because I sure as hell aint letting it win…"

"That's you boss," Tony swallowed hard. "Not me."

"Well hell DiNozzo, you're trying so damn hard to be me all the time…right now would be a good time to listen…"

He tried to pull his eyes away form Gibbs gaze but couldn't. "I want to be as strong as you…"

"No…" He met the expression on his face. "You'll be stronger."

Tony resisted the tears and took in a breath. "Should we hug now?"

Gibbs almost smiled. "Not until you're sober."

"Really?"

"No."

Tony managed a small smile. "How much damage control am I in for with Vance?"

"I'd be more concerned about Abby..."

He tried to stand and took Gibbs open hand to help him do so. "Good point." He nodded. "Guess I have a lot of apologizing to do huh?"

"Gotta be weak before you can be strong DiNozzo."

"So are you admitting you've been weak before?"

…

"Ow!...point taken boss."

It was two months and seven days before Gibbs met Tony at the main entrance of NCIS.

"Nervous?"

Tony scoffed. "No…but I think I should take all the security personnel out for a beer soon."

"Not a bad idea."

He entered the bull pen, one step behind his boss and went through his usual routine of removing his side arm. His teammates arrived shorty after.

"Bet you're mad you don't have Ziva all to yourself now eh Probie?" It wasn't long after he was met with an elbow to the gut. "Missed you too Ziva."

"Glad you're back Tony…knew you would be."

Tony smiled at him. "Thanks for all the phone calls…meant a lot."

"Yeah, just glad I could help…it's what partners do."

Tony nodded his thanks a second time before preparing himself for his next destination. He made his way down to her lab and lingered at her door way for a full minute.

"You're allowed in." She stated with a small smile, and was quick to offer him a hug, followed by a punch in the shoulder. "Now don't you ever be that mean to me again…drunk or not…understood?"

He nodded quickly. "Yes ma'am."

"Good." She threw her arms around him fully. "Are you okay?"

"I'm better."

She squeezed him tight. "You know we're here for you right? Like always…"

"Yeah, Abs…I know."

"I mean it…always."

He eased back from the hug and suddenly felt right at home. "Always."