I wake in pain.
My throat feels like a sword has carved into it. It takes me a moment to realize that is exactly what happened.
Without opening my eyes I take mental stock. My toes work, so do my fingers. I can breathe, I can swallow... Swallowing hurts like nothing else. I can do it, though.
I can hear snoring, so Skinner is still here too. Waves are crashing outside the Nautilus, so we're moving. I can smell antiseptic, the room is saturated in it.
Finally, I open my eyes.
I'm alone.
I gingerly reach my hand to my neck. It's completely obscured by gauze. I realize my shirt has been changed with a start, and hope it was Mina who did it. There must have been a mess for them to have changed me. I can only imagine, when a throat is slit in battle, the blood pours. I cannot guess it's too different in surgery.
My eyes are heavy.
I wake again.
Dr. Watson is there, and he grins widely.
"Welcome back!" he says. I give a weak smile, that I cannot hold for long.
"We thought we lost you a few times, there, that other doctor almost had my head more than once."
Mina? Why would she have his head? He must have understood that need further explanation.
"Yah, hah hah, he comes in right after you fall asleep and announces he wants to be my assistant. Couldn't believe it but that Red-haired beauty stepped down immediately and everyone else condoned it. Ended up being a bloody good thing, too. You probably wouldn't be here if not for him."
He meant Henry. Henry had performed on me, saved my life?
So many questions, no translator or paper in sight. My eyes are heavy. Henry saved me.
I wake to a full room. Maitreya gives a should that alerts the others. Prabir and Captain, Vishal, Tom and Mina. Even a very bandaged Skinner was propped up in his bed.
Carefully I started to lift myself, only to have Maitreya and Vishal rush in to lift me and put pillows behind me. Vishal lowered me gently and Maitreya fluffed them. Which was so queer I had to giggle at their actions.
"How are you feeling?" asked Prabir.
I take a moment to access again, body fine, swallowing not fine, but better than last time.
"It hurts to swallow. Otherwise I'm fine."
Maitreya translated, and Dr. Watson nodded.
"Well that's gonna be your life for a bit, love. We've kept you asleep for about a week to make it easier, but I think it's time for you to stay awake."
A week? A whole week. I feel my neck, the gauze seems to have lessened slightly. I smile, I had made it. I was alive.
My stomach growls, causing laughter.
"We'll get you food!" Maitreya leaps up and pulls Prabir with him out the door.
Vishal sighs and shakes his head.
"Gonna go make sure they get you something you can actually eat."
He pats my legs and leaves. Tom comes forward and leans close.
"We're real glad you're okay, Marina. Gotta go tell Jekyll. He won't come himself but he begged us to let him know."
He goes back to Mina, they smile and leave. Captain sits beside me as I look over at Skinner. His head moves towards me.
"Looks like we made it, eh?"
I grin broadly. His voice isn't strong but he's alive and recovering, which is enough for now.
Captain is watching me silently as Dr. Watson reads the paper in the corner. I smile at him and take his hand.
"Dr. Watson has agreed to let you sit on the deck after eating," he says.
Excited, I grin enthusiastically and wait impatiently for the boys to return. It seems an eternity, but they stumble through with chicken broth and lumps of something in it. Eating hurts, but after a few bites the pain numbs and I'm able to finish the soup without problem. As I ate, Maitreya and Vishal bickered and gossiped about the other men below. The normality was comforting.
I set the bowl beside me and slid slowly out of bed. My legs are shaky and I have lost a good deal of weight. Feeling as though my poor muscles had atrophied, I take Captain's arm and we head out.
Captain must have given the word not to bother us. The few we pass in the halls do no more than nod towards us before hurrying on. I'm grateful for not having to socialize. I don't feel up to it, too concentrated on walking without falling. Lying in bed for a week is awful.
We reach the steps and I go up first, slowly. I reach the door and push it open. It's a lot heavier than I remember, and when it opens the sun is blinding. The day bright and clear, I can smell the sea and hear the waves crashing in our wake. I step out slowly, my eyes slowly adjusting to the glare. I take a deep breath as Captain walks beside me.
"Ah, Dr. Jekyll."
"Hello, Captain Nemo, Marina."
I swallow, and it hurts. I turn to my left, where Henry has been standing against the railings presumably the whole time. I nod to him slowly. I can just make him out, his features haven't sharpened yet.
"I see you're feeling better."
I nod again, I wasn't prepared to see him so soon. I thought for sure he'd be trying to avoid me at all costs. He would have had time to hide, I'm sure.
Heh, hide.
Sigh.
"Ah, I'm sorry I haven't been by yet, I..."
He stops. Can't think of an excuse for avoiding me quickly in front of Captain. I shake my head.
"I'm sure being so close to England has been preoccupying your mind," I sign.
"Um, yes, actually."
"Ah, yes. Will you be disembarking when we send Dr. Watson home?"
Henry doesn't answer, and I grab Captain's arm. He must have thought I was woozy, and led me to a chair to sit in. I do feel sick, but it has nothing to do with my throat.
There's a brisk wind and I shiver.
"I'll go fetch you a blanket. Would you like anything else?" Captain says.
I smile up at him gratefully, "My journal, if you don't mind."
I had given it to Captain for safekeeping before falling asleep. With a curt nod he turns and heads to the door, stopping just inside.
"Dr. Jekyll, please look out for her until I return."
"You didn't have to ask," Jekyll says.
I hear Captain's footsteps fade. Henry fidgets, patting his hands against his legs and looking around. After a minute he walks over and pulls another chair over, sitting in it and facing out towards the sea. I take the chance to glance at him. His dark circles have deepened, and he's paler than usual. He hasn't been sleeping. Do I have the right to chastise him? Will my concern be taken as a ploy to endear him to me? Feelings are complicated.
"Are you feeling better?"
"Better than dying, yes."
It was supposed to be a joke, but he didn't take it as such. His gaze hardened and I looked away.
"Sorry, I'm fine."
"No, forgive me. We almost did lose you. I'm still a bit shaken up over it."
"I heard you saved me."
"Ah, did you? Well, um, you weren't supposed to know that, heh."
I laugh softly, he was trying to make a quiet escape.
"Dr. Watson didn't get the message."
"Apparently not," he smiles.
"You look sicker than I do."
"Says the girl with gauze obscuring her neck."
We're laughing at each other, and it feels nice. Like we've both pretended my confession didn't happen and things were normal between us. We stop laughing, but the light mood is still there. I decide to ruin it to slake my curiosity.
"Why did you do it?"
Henry looks away, rubbing his hands together.
"I had to."
I don't understand. He didn't need to do anything. He didn't seem to be willing to say more, and I was too tired to try and pry information from him. I carefully pushed myself from the chair. The world swam and I swayed a moment.
"Marina?"
I don't want to look. This is much more painful than I had thought it would be. I tilt my head towards him, staring at the ground.
"Am I not allowed to stay?"
Was he allowed to stay. Stay on the Nautilus where I would be forever tormented by unrequited love. Stay always within reach but never reachable. I stand too long deciding, and sway.
Suddenly his arm is around my waist, the other on my shoulder.
"I knew you weren't ready to walk so far," Henry says, and before I can protest I'm floating in his arms.
I want to tell him to put me down, that I'm capable of walking, but I know this is the last time I'll get this chance, so I lay my head against his chest and let him carry me back to the infirmary.
Skinner has been lowered, and seems to be sleeping, his curtain partially drawn. Dr. Watson has stepped out, and Henry gently places me back on the bed. The pillows are still there so I sit against them and sigh.
"Thank you."
He sits beside me.
"I'm sorry for worrying you. I shouldn't ask you something important while you're still sick."
I shake my head.
"It's all my fault," I sign, "I've done this too myself."
"What? No, Marina-"
"I thought I was going to die. I thought it was my last chance."
"Marina?"
"I have no right to tell you to leave. You can stay on the Nautilus if you wish, I promised you that much. My feelings don't negate that."
I wasn't looking at him, I couldn't. It hurt too much. I just wanted him to say he didn't love me directly so I could stop this pain. I need to move on and-
Hands were cupping my face. My wide eyes met Henry's blue one. They were clear and shining.
"I think I may need to apologize."
Oh no.
He moved his hands from my face and found mine. He squeezed them softly, rubbed his thumb against the backs.
"I'm sorry for the other night, Marina. When you kissed me, it was something I never imagined could happen outside my dreams. I was so overwhelmed I lost control and Hyde took over, and you know what happened after."
He sighed and looked down, I felt my face heat.
"I realize I overreacted now, but I've not dared dream of love since my business with Hyde first began."
He squeezed my hands and looked up at me, his face flush and eyes shining, "I dared not dream such an amazing woman could ever feel anything for me. Denied it outright in my mind for fear of rejection. But then you came to me, and I've never been more happy or terrified in my life."
I could barely breathe. I swallowed and it hurt. This wasn't a dream.
"Marina, I want to stay on the Nautilus. Not for fear of being alone in England, but so I can be by your side."
He stroked the side of my face gently.
"I love you, Marina. All of you.
May I stay?"
I lean into his hand, my smile so big it hurts my burning cheeks. I'm laughing and nodding and he's grinning and his face is blotched and red to his ears and I can't help falling forward to wrap my arms around his neck and press our smiling lips together.
"OI! Get'ta room, you two! There's a sick man over here tryin' ta get some rest!"
The end
More or less.
I may come back and do the final movie scene but it's not super important for the story. It'll just be an if I feel like it, thing. Also, may come back with some short stories of these guys cuz I love them so much. Sorry it took me so long to realize how much I loved and missed them. Also, I started this story when I was sixteen and didn't know much about the world or love. I'm twenty-two now and only know a bit more about the world and love, but I tried to show that change in perspective in Marina as well, she's done a lot of growing, she deserves to see some results. As I've said before there are lots of things I would change about this if I could, but I think it's best to put the pen down and let the past be the past. This is a fanfiction of a movie I adore and this work was born of that adoration. I'm moving forward leaving LXG in the past, but never forgotten.
If you've lasted this long with me, I'm forever grateful.
Thank you.
Love always,
Alius