AN: I was bored, sue me. I got this idea after seeing a cosplay video of two Matsumoto´s forcing Hitsugaya to drink exclaiming, 'he's a genius he can take it'. So I though what would happen if Hitsugaya for some reason got drunk. Pretty funny in my opinion. Is planned to just be a one shot unless you want me to continue.

Matsumoto sighed; once again her captain had yelled at her for drinking sake in the middle of the day. He was pretty pissed and Matsumoto felt like she was shrinking while her captain kept getting louder and louder. He had given her an ultimatum, stop drinking while she was on the job or don't show her face until she was sober.

So what was poor Rangiku Matsumoto supposed to do? Stop drinking… Pffft as if… Hmm, sake is more or less transparent. She could transfer it over to water bottles and say she started drinking water, yeah that could work, and the captain wouldn't notice a thing, right? Right?

It was a week later and Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya stretched as he finished the last set of paperwork. Man, was he thirsty. He looked around to see what he could find. His eyes fell on one of the water bottles Matsumoto had started drinking from since he banned sake in his office.

'She won't mind if I drink some,' he thought and took a BIG sip from the bottle.

'Hmm, interesting taste,' he mused.

Must be some sort of bubble water or something. He took one more helping and suddenly started to snicker, bubble water that's funny. Maybe he should go and see if he could find someone to tell that joke to, yeah, that's a good idea.

And with that, he walked out of his office trying to find someone to tell his joke to. After a few minutes of walking, he had forgotten the bubble water joke but found a butterfly.

"Oooooh pwetty," he said and reached out for it, tripping as he watched the butterfly flying away.

"Stupid butterfly," he said sniffing and rubbing his arm.

He wanted to go home to mommy and tell her about the stupid butterfly… but where was mommy? He looked around and decided to walk to find home and mommy.

After a while, he saw a woman who had seen him too. He knew her from somewhere… kind, gentle… who was she again?

Retsu Unohana smiled her always polite smile as she saw Captain Hitsugaya standing a few feet from her, looking at her curiously.

"Yes, Captain Hitsugaya, is there something I can do for you?"

He bounced from his toes to his heels as if he had problems with his balance. Then he smiled a big boyish smile, held out his arms and ran over to hug her.

"MOMMY, I FOUND YOU!"

Retsu Unohana blinked. Mommy? She looked down to her fellow captain who was hugging her body like a little boy who had found his way home after being lost and decided to play along until she figured out what was happening.

Now how to handle this? She stroked his head gently, making him feel at ease and at the same time felt his brow. No fever, so that was out.

"Why don't we go inside and get you some food?" Unohana suggested.

Hitsugaya jumped back from her hug and smiled. "Watermelons?"

Unohana thought about it and thought she remembered that Isane had some from a failed attempt to make her sister eat more fruit.

"I think that could be ok, dear."

"YAY," said Hitsugaya and nearly dragged Unohana into the 4th squad's barracks.

But Unohana frowned. She could have sworn Hitsugaya smelled like sake. Inside, Unohana led Hitsugaya to her office.

"Now, you be a good boy and sit here and I'll get you some watermelons, ok, captain?"

"Why are you calling me captain, mommy? What happened to Shiro-chan? Are you mad?"

"Of course not, Shiro-chan. Mommy has just had a long day. Now stay put."

Once outside, Unohana sighed. Thank god it was late and that nearly everyone had gone home.

"Isane," she called gently.

"Yes, Captain Unohana," Isane responded, appearing at her side.

"Captain Hitsugaya is inside my office. I think he's drunk. He asked for watermelons, do you think you can get some?"

Isane blinked at the straight tone in the absurd message Unohana had just given her but she nodded nonetheless.

"Of course, captain."

"Then get someone to send a message to Lieutenant Rangiku Matsumoto telling her I want to talk to her. Could you do that, Isane?"

"Of course," Isane said, running to perform said tasks.

Unohana sighed and took a deep breath before entering her office again.

"No watermelon?" Hitsugaya asked a bit sadly.

"Isa… errrr Auntie Isane will be here with them soon."

"YAY," Hitsugaya said, snuggling up to Unohana as she sat down.

"Well..." Unohana started, 'I better phrase this right', "Well then Shiro-chan, what have you done today?"

Hitsugaya looked like he was deep in thought.

"Well I drank some funny bubble water ('Aha, there we are,' Unohana thought quietly to herself) Then I went for a walk and then I saw this pretty butterfly."

"Oh, really?" Unohana said, being her friendly self while trying to figure out how dead Matsumoto was going to be tomorrow when Hitsugaya got sober.

"Yeah, but when I reached out to get it, I fell and got a boo boo." Hitsugaya showed Unohana his arm, which had only gotten a bit red. "Mommy, kiss and make it better?"

Unohana smiled. 'Poor innocent Hitsugaya.' she thought and bent down and kissed Hitsugaya´s arm.

Then the door opened and Isane came in carrying a tray of watermelon boats.

"YAY FOR AUNTIE ISANE," Hitsugaya exclaimed and rushed up to eat.

Isane blinked and looked over at Unohana.

"Auntie Isane," she mouthed.

Unohana just smiled.

"Did you find Matsumoto?"

"Drunk at a bar, apparently she is on her 20th bottle of sake."

"Well then, Hitsugaya has to sleep here tonight." Unohana looked at the clock on her wall. 22:40. she looked over at Hitsugaya yawning between the bites of melon.

"All right, young man, time for bed."

Hitsugaya was too tired to complain. She led him to a bed and helped him take off his captain's coat, shoes and socks. Luckily, Hitsugaya had left his Zanpakuto in his office.

Hitsugaya yawned as Unohana tucked him in for the night and he smiled and muttered, "Mommy, sing a good night song?"

Unohana and Isane shared looks. Unohana sighed. She only knew one song, one she learned while at the academy centuries ago, but it was a soothing one.

"Of course Shiro-chan, but then I need you to sleep."

Hitsugaya nodded and Unohana started to sing

Wounded and fallen ones

At the very least

Be embraced

By love in dreams

Rest on warm chest

Good night

The morning is gentle

It does not wait for you

Always turbulent

It comes walking to you

Tomorrow we'll try

To protect each other

Even though

It may not be possible

That is fighting to live

It is our fate

Shake fallen ones

At the very least

Be embraced

By love in dreams

Be embraced

By memories of

Being in the cradle

Good night

The morning is gentle

It does not wait for you

Always restless

It comes

Tomorrow, who will be the enemy?

Who will be one's ally?

There is no way to know right?

That is fighting to live

It is our fate

Wounded and fallen ones

At the very least

Be embraced

By love in dreams

Good night

By the end of her song, Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya was fast asleep. Isane and Unohana had to smile as he started to gently suck his thumb.

"Let him get some sleep," Unohana said as she and Isane rose to walk outside.

"Man," Isane said smiling, "I do not envy Rangiku Matsumoto when Captain Hitsugaya meets her tomorrow."

"Neither do I," Unohana said smiling. "But that is up to captain Hitsugaya to deal with."

Hitsugaya groaned as he sat up in a bed… not his though, where was he.

"Ah, awake then, Captain Hitsugaya?"

He turned to face Captain Unohana. "Captain? How did I end up in squad 4's quarters?"

Unohana smiled. "Well my dear captain, do you want the whole truth or do you want the summary?"

"The whole truth please. I hate not knowing the details," Hitsugaya said.

"Very well," Unohana said and closed the door.

Hitsugaya gulped, not liking the smile on Unohana´s face, almost like she was trying not to laugh.

"Well, from what I gathered from you yesterday, you drank some of Matsumoto's sake thinking it was bubble water. Then you went for a walk and ended up in front of my squad hugging me and calling me mommy."

Hitsugaya groaned in response.

"Then I took you in to get you some food and to shield you from any persons that walked by and you thanked your Auntie Isane for some watermelons. I had asked Matsumoto to come to get you but she was out drunk at some bar so I let you stay here. All you wanted was a lullaby and you have been sleeping ever since… occasionally sucking your thumb."

There was no denying it, there where definitely amusement in her tone.

"Nothing else then?" He asked sarcastically.

"Well you said you had run after a butterfly, tripped and got a boo boo and made me kiss it all better, but otherwise, no."

Hitsugaya groaned again. He was going to KILL Matsumoto. "Then can I go?"

Unohana smiled. "Of course, but here is a potion, in case you get a bad case of a hangover… or you can give it to Matsumoto. I am in no doubt she will have a hangover after you are done talking to her."

Hitsugaya got his clothes and the potion and quickly shunpo´d out of Squad 4 and ended up back at Squad 10. Inside, his lieutenant was rubbing her temples trying to do some overdue paperwork.

"Matsumoto," he began calmly, making her turn to him.

"Yes, Captain."

Hitsugaya smiled evilly. "We need to talk…"