Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters

Kagome sat beside the warm fire watching her friends sleep, excluding one body that was off in search of his old and forever beloved. Inuyasha had been gone for a good hour and it wasn't that it had woken the young miko but the fact that she was already awake. The raven haired girl knew that this was coming soon but she didn't know why she knew.

The girl didn't care if Inuyasha came back and asked her questions of why she was up…or if she was watching him. Her answers would be truthful because her concern for his ignorance was long gone. Her give a damn feeling had been crushed by her agonizing love for the man she wanted to make happy. Kagome didn't care if he knew she knew. Honestly, and for some reason she would admit this to anyone, she wanted him to know she knew of every time he had left to see that dead miko and of every time he had come back and she had been in tears.

The wind rustled and the small fox child stirred in his sleep but didn't wake. It was probably one in the morning or something close to that and it was in the fall. The wind didn't bother the broken hearted woman. It soothed her some to know that at least she could still feel which meant she wasn't completely gone. All of a sudden a thought came to her head that made the young woman laugh.

"What could a dead woman and a half demon have to talk about for so long?" A giggle escaped the girl's lips. She was trying to make light of the situation. All of a sudden she stood up and held an air about her and glazed over her eyes.

"Hello Inuyasha, I have been up to nothing except being dead and searching for souls and their company. Would you like to help me?" Her voice was hollow but then she giggled and stood opposite of where she was only a foot away.

"Oh how I would love to hold you in my arms and not have you searching for dead souls for company. I would help you but I had to sneak away to get here and I have to sneak back so the others don't know of my escape." Kagome made her voice as deep as it could go. Then she switched places.

"Oh Inuyasha how I would love that but we know it won't happen. Why don't you go back to my reincarnation and hopefully she will suffice your needs. Maybe she'll grow to look just like me and act like me. I'll find a why to take out her soul and put in mine and then I'll have her body. Everything will be fine then and we can be together." Kagome moved once again but tears were in her eyes.

"But she's not you and I only want you. That pathetic girl will never be enough and you and I both know it. We're only playing games on her but she's got hold of me because of this damn necklace and because she can help get the shards. Once I convince her to get this damn thing off my neck and we've completed the jewel, I'll ditch her and the others and come back for you and we'll be together. Just take out her soul now and take her body." Kagome stopped because the tears running down her face and the sobs slowly coming out of her mouth were making her breathless. The fragile girl collapsed to the ground and held her head in her hands as she cried.

What she didn't know was that four people were watching her. Her three best friends Sango, Miroku, and Shippo and one other who had just arrived back as she had started the entire ordeal. No one spoke as they listened to her heart wrenching sobs and watched her fragile form shake with every breath taken and every sob let out. Finally one of them couldn't take it anymore and ran into her lap.

"Kagome, please stop crying. Seeing you sad makes me want to cry too." Shippo whispered to her and he felt Kagome's arms wrap around his tiny form and hold him close while trying to silence her crying. Tears were already going down the small fox's face and he clung back to his surrogate mother as the two cried.

"I'm sorry Shippo. I didn't mean to wake you and thank you for the hug and support." Kagome's hair covered her eyes but since the small fox was in her lap he could see her eyes and face. It held a sad small smile and her eyes still had tears. Shippo stood up in her lap and leaned toward her ear.

"You shouldn't be the one apologizing." When he pulled back Kagome looked confused until his eyes flicked behind her. The girl's heart dropped to her stomach and her breath caught as her arms fell limply from her sides. It just had to be at that time her give a damn feeling should return at full blunt force. Her eyes held despair and fear and it made the small fox feel bad for her.

"Kagome," Inuyasha's deep voice cut in and it sounded very upset and slightly angry, "We need to talk…alone." The half demon knew everyone was awake and he implied for either them to leave or for Kagome to get up and follow him. It was Shippo who made the decision for he gave Kagome a loving childish kiss to the cheek and started off down the road. Sango and Miroku followed behind. They didn't want to leave Kagome alone but they knew Inuyasha wouldn't hurt her.

"I heard everything you said." He started off. The half demon was still standing behind her and she didn't dare look back at him nor did she dare get up from the ground for fear she might fall again. "I know you know I went to see Kikyo. I don't know how long you've known about the nights I go to see her and I don't care. Right now I need to speak to you about what you said." Inuyasha walked around her and sat down cross legged in front of her but Kagome didn't look up.

"You should know I would never say something like that. I would never trade Kikyo's soul for your own or let Kikyo take your body and toss out your soul." Inuyasha paused, seeing if Kagome would shout something but she didn't say anything. "Where did you even get that idea?"

The broken girl couldn't say anything. Her voice refused to let her and her words were caught in her throat. Not because Inuyasha admitted that he wouldn't do something like that but that more was eating at her that would never go away. Kagome knew that Inuyasha was probably starting to get irritated that she didn't say anything and so finally she took a deep breath and cleared her mind and said the thing she wanted most at that moment.

"Inuyasha," The young girl's voice cracked and a tear slipped down her cheek. "Can we please not talk about this? I don't think…I don't think I can give you any answers you desire right now." Another tear trickled down her other cheek and Kagome suppressed a quiet sob.

"No, we can't wait until later. I know your tactic. You say we'll wait until later and then later never comes. When you cry and I ask why later means never and with what I heard and saw tonight I can't stand never knowing." Inuyasha had raised his voice and didn't realize it until he heard her gentle sob and saw her shoulders start shaking. Somehow he managed to break even more pieces to her shattered mind.

"Oh god, Kagome I didn't mean to get mad…it's just..." Inuyasha couldn't finish his sentence because Kagome had looked up at him and his entire body froze. It wasn't because the tear trails down her face or because her cheeks were bright red from the tears and it wasn't even the fact her eyes were so red they could almost be mistaken for demonic but because of the raw emotion in her eyes: Pain. It was deep, severe, emotional pain at that.

"Never knowing why I cry at night or even why I cry at all is probably better than knowing. Not just for you but for me because I couldn't take what you would give me if you found out. It would bring no good…" Kagome took in a deep shaky breath and then sighed sadly but didn't 

move. The fire that now sat behind her only darkened her face and made it that much more painful.

"I couldn't begin to cause you anymore pain Kagome. You can tell me…please. I have to protect you and seeing you in this pain is worse than any wound a demon could inflict upon me. You don't deserve this sadness…tell me what it is and I'll make it go away. I'll do whatever to make it better." Inuyasha had gotten closer to Kagome and was speaking softly with urgency in his voice; a desire to comfort her but a worry that he could not.

"You can't fix it Inuyasha." Kagome sighed and looked to the side, away from his penetrating eyes but he gently grasped her face and pulled her to look back at him.

"Whatever…Whoever has done this to you I'll fix it. Did Kikyo say something to you? Please, just tell me." Inuyasha pleaded with Kagome. Sadness filled her eyes and the words that came out of her mouth froze him to the core.

"It's you, Inuyasha, who has done this to me." Though her voice was quiet Inuyasha heard every word and all the grief behind it but also the relief that came off of her. With quickness he pulled her close to him in a hope that he could fix everything but she didn't return the embrace.

"Tell me everything I've done wrong and I'll fix it. Please Kagome; I don't want to be the one to keep you in this sadness." Inuyasha was desperate and needed to fix her. Then he pulled back slowly and let his arms hang at his sides as he came upon the realization of what she couldn't bear to tell him. The half demon's eyes were slightly bigger and he was at a loss for words and Kagome knew just what he realized and looked away.

"I love you, Inuyasha. This is what my love for you has done to me because of her but..." Kagome's words stopped and quieted as Inuyasha put a finger to her lips and a small smile graced his lips.

"There are no buts anymore." Inuyasha pulled Kagome close and hesitantly she wrapped hers around him. "I love you too, Kagome. I'm sorry you've had to deal with this all this time." Then he felt her pull back and his heart constricted.

"Then why did you go and see her tonight?" She needed to know and Inuyasha laughed a little.

"To tell her what I told you. I love you and couldn't go and see her any longer because it had changed. When she asked what I meant I told her instead of when I see you I think of her…when 

I see her I can only think of you. I won't go to see her again unless it's after I've avenged her and her soul is at rest. I never meant to cause you that much pain or grief." Inuyasha explained and tears were going down Kagome's face but she had a smile and with that she hugged him close again and he lifted her up in his arms. Of course the other three had been listening in and came back just as they were finished.

"Now we shall rest in peace." Miroku said with a smile, even with the handprint upon his face and Sango's constant glaring at him. All went to bed with Kagome in Inuyasha's lap and Shippo cuddled in Kagome's sleeping bag. Sango had placed her resting place far from Miroku but he set his up right next to hers and laid down and when she laid down after warning him of dangers that would happen should he touch her, he then smirked and wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close to sleep.