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Disclaimer: Unsurprisingly, I own nothing. Naruto and Harry Potter belong to their respective creators.

"It's too quiet."

Itachi didn't react. They waited an instant more, then burst forward. Kakashi sprinted to the next corridor, checked it, and then signaled. Itachi ran past him. They had proceeded on paired sweeps through the mansion. There were no guards. The mansion was entirely deserted.

Itachi hadn't spoken a word since they left Kisame. He'd insisted on taking point for the entire approach, often leaving Kakashi waiting while he scouted ahead. If it had been anyone else, Kakashi would have felt insulted. As it was, he simply accepted it.

They reached the room. Kakashi was on edge. It was simply not possible for them to be this lucky. Orochimaru clearly had something deeply unpleasant planned. The set-up reeked of his reptilian cruelty. He glanced at his companion. Itachi was impassive. Kakashi grimaced slightly. Why was he so calm? Something was clearly wrong, but Itachi was entirely unconcerned. Kakashi shook his head. This mission was rapidly heading into unknown territory.

Itachi gestured to Kakashi, signing to move back and prepare for a burst entry. Kakashi assumed his position to the right, and waited for the signal. The mission had been a disaster since they began the assault. Jiro, Toshi, Genzo… A shinobi knew that his teammates might die, but knowing didn't make it any easier. It had been strange, leading a team of Jounin again. He had forgotten how it felt. The easy comradeship, the efficiency and the discipline… He loved his Genins, but it was never quite the same. No matter how they grew, he'd never be able to treat them as equals, even if they became stronger than him. He'd always be their teacher, the man who saves them when they're in trouble, the one who resolved their trivial arguments. Just like how Minato had done for him… Shaking himself, Kakashi refocused on the mission. This wasn't the time to be lost in memories. But still the thought flashed across his mind: Toshi, Jiro, Genzo… I promise you, I'll avenge you!

Itachi signaled. The door exploded.

The beast was tough.

Kisame picked up its trail about a mile from where he had left his comrades. It hadn't been hard to find. He found a dead wizard, chunks of flesh ripped from it, and tracks heading away. The beast wasn't a forest creature, that was certain. Anyone trained in tracking would be able to find it. He followed the trail for a good hour before he got his first glimpse of it. It was big, the size of a tiger. It loped quickly but inelegantly on its fours, occasionally jumping up to a tree and leaping from branch to branch. It was fast, though, and looked strong.

Ad he got closer, Kisame got a better view. Spikes jutted from its joints, and its back was covered in black quills. It was almost hairless, with orange skin mottled with black. It looked unhealthy, though it was hard to say. Kisame drew the Samehada. Screaming, he leapt for the beast. It spun and leapt for him.

They clashed three times. Kisame managed to take out its forelimb with the first attack, but the second knocked the Samehada out of his grasp. Now he had his arm locked round its throat as it slashed at him with its talons. Ignoring the pain, Kisame tried to squeeze tighter. It was tough. Most men would be pulp by now, but the beast was barely fazed. Grunting with strain, Kisame hurled it as hard as he could. A tree shattered from the impact.

Retrieving the Samehada, Kisame looked for the beast. It had disappeared. The tracks led off to the west, heading towards the mansion. Snarling, he sprinted in pursuit.

Orochimaru gave a warm smile of welcome. Voldemort was impassive. They sat on their thrones, looking down on the two intruders, flanked by their henchmen. Kakashi made every effort to hide his anxiety. There were twenty wizards in the room, all with their wands drawn and pointing at the intruders. At these odds, survival was almost impossible, let alone successful completion of the mission.

"Welcome, my dear friends. What a truly lovely sight – two former comrades, united by their desire to kill me."

Itachi stepped forward. Orochimaru gestured to the wizards, signaling to wait. "Last words, Itachi? Feel free to speak. I'll be sure to tell your brother."

Itachi looked him in the eye. "Orochimaru-san. I have come with a message from the leader. We regret you were unable to work with us, and were content to let you live. However, this violation is unacceptable. I therefore ask you to submit to the judgment of Akatsuki."

Orochimaru laughed. Kakashi stared in disbelief. This was the plan? Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kabuto edging towards the right, followed by a group of Sound-nins. He lifted his protector, the Sharingan springing to life. Time to get ready.

Orochimaru was speaking. Kakashi barely listened. He remained focused on the shinobi, shifting to cover them. If he could take care of them, and Itachi could deal with the wizards, they might be able to survive the first attack. Hopefully they could hold out until Kisame joined them…

Voldemort rose from his throne. Orochimaru stopped talking, and bowed to him slightly, his courtesy marred by the mocking grin painted to his face. The Heir of Slytherin twirled his wand, filling the room with light. He gazed at Itachi. "I do not appreciate uninvited guests. For this insolence, you shall pay with your life."

He aimed his wand. "AVADA KEDAVRA!"

The jet of green light arced across the hall. Itachi stayed motionless. The jet sped towards him and…

Hit Kabuto. The Sound-nin was hurled into a wall, crashing through it. The look of shock on his face was quickly followed by the slackness of death.

Voldemort spoke, his voice entirely flat. "It appears I missed."

Orochimaru spun round to face him, rage twisting his features into a bestial snarl. "You! I'LL KILL YOU!!!!"

His hands flickered, and a jet of fire consumed the Dark Wizard. It faded to reveal an unburned Voldemort smiling at his former ally. "I think you have far more pressing concerns, Orochimaru."

Orochimaru spun round, straight into a Katon Great Fireball. It hurled him through a wall. Itachi leapt in pursuit.

A whisper of sound behind Kakashi made him spin, kunai flashing up to bury itself in a Sound-nin's eye. He leapt away. The wizards were attacking the ninjas, spells flashing in hundreds of directions. A shinobi went down, only for his attacker to fly back, his arms severed. More people were rushing into the hall, wizards and shinobi desperate to join the battle. A group of wizards spotted him and charged towards him; evading their spells, Kakashi crashed into a circle of Sound-nins. They immediately attacked.

Great, Kakashi thought. Both sides want to kill me. Channeling chakra to his feet, he leapt to the ceiling, and began his desperate fight.

Orochimaru rose, only to see the elder Uchiha standing before him. "Bastard! I'll cut those eyes out then build a fire in their sockets!"

Itachi murmured softly.

Shit.

Flames engulfed him.

Itachi approached the charred corpse. He stared at it without comment, and then disappeared as the Kusanagi slashed through the air.

"How did you know?!"

Itachi drew a kunai. "Snakes are known for being slippery."

Orochimaru slashed at him. Itachi evaded by a hair's breadth. The Kusanagi extended, shooting towards his eye. Itachi vanished in a murder of crows. Suddenly Orochimaru gasped. Reaching round, he pulled the kunai from his ribs. It was drenched in blood.

Itachi materialized in front of him. A sudden gesture and he held the Kusanagi. He leveled it at Orochimaru's throat. A blow from behind sent him flying into a wall.

Retrieving the sword, Orochimaru looked for his enemy.

He had gone.

Warily, Orochimaru turned. The Uchiha stood twenty yards away. "Shall we get serious?"

Itachi nodded. In the blink of an eye, Orochimaru had completed the hand seals. By the time he realized it was useless, it was already too late. He collapsed to the ground, paralyzed. Incapable of movement, he could only stare as Voldemort and Itachi stood over him.

And with the clarity of a man too long deceived, he realized the deadly simplicity of the trick.

A clone exploded. The instant was all he needed. "Futon: DAITOPPA!!". The wind swept three wizards and then ignited, burning them to ash. Unhesitatingly, Kakashi dived for cover as a flood of spells sliced through his former position. Risking a glance, he saw that his expectations were correct. The shinobi had used his distraction to attack the wizards. Diving to the right, he shouted "Raiton: Lightning Shuriken!!". The electrified shuriken flew towards the shinobi, slicing into them. A wizard followed it with a killing spell, taking out another shinobi. Kakashi re-spotted.

It would be a lot easier if he had more long-range techniques. This was the kind of battle where he could have really used Jiro's archery. Still, it seemed to be going to plan. Both groups outnumbered him, but couldn't spare the men necessary to take him out because of the other group. More men were rushing in all the time, joining both sides. So he attacked them in turn, creating opportunities for each side. The downside was that he was working overtime on evading. So far, he was unhurt.

He looked for another spot to attack. The two groups had disengaged again. Shinobi held an advantage in close combat, while the wizards were more suited to range fighting; however, a group of wizards presented a very strong defensive proposition, even at close range.

Shifting slowly, he skirted the edge of the stalemate. By an unwritten, unspoken law, both sides had taken the opportunity to rest. He saw a few shinobi slump down, grabbing some water while their foes moved into cover. It wouldn't last long. Edging forward, he found his spot. One of the wizards was slightly exposed, perfect for a long-range sneak attack, and close enough to the shinobi to allow for an immediate counter. Glancing over to where Itachi and Orochimaru had disappeared, Kakashi drew a kunai. There was no sign of movement. Come on, Itachi. Move!

The kunai spun silently through the air, inexorable in its flashing trail. The trajectory was perfect, the weight and the spin beautifully managed. It would have been a textbook thirty-two yard killing blow if the west side of the house hadn't exploded due to the wall of water that crashed through it. The Kunai buried itself into a seven-foot chunk of windowsill, which hurtled through a wall and into the chandelier of the main hall.

What the fuck?!

Kisame was not angry. He had gotten past that a while ago; he had left pissed off by the wayside. Fucking furious was an understatement. At that moment in time, the former member of the Mist Seven was white-hot, incandescently furious.

He had missed.

The beast had led him on quite a chase, evading water missiles like they were feathers in the breeze. Kisame had cornered the creature outside the house. It stood there, snarling, unwilling to charge inside but equally terrified of staying out. Kisame had readied his strongest attack.

"SUITON: WAVE OF DEATH!"

The tsunami had crashed through the house. Half of it was in rubble, the rest was flooded. Wizards and shinobi lucky enough to survive picked themselves up, their battle forgotten, all staring at the devastation caused by the Shark man's attack.

Except the beast.

Kisame was trying to catch his breath. Making a tsunami in the middle of a forest was tricky, even for him. He was leaning on the Samehada when the talon erupted from his stomach.

"Why the fuck won't you just DIE?!!!!"

Not even a miracle could stop the fight.

Their shock at the tsunami and the devastation it caused was not permanent. A shinobi saw a wizard off-guard and threw a fireball at him. The victim's comrades immediately turned to the attack, and before long, the battle reached the same stalemate.

Kakashi saw Kisame, and sprinted towards him. He threw himself at the beast, shouting "INITIAL LOTUS!". The creature hurtled into the air, but flipped itself, landing lightly on the roof of the house before jumping back down to earth. It stared balefully at the two shinobi. Around it, the wizards fought the ninjas with increasing ferocity, the battle picking up in intensity as both sides tried to mount suicidal attacks.

Kakashi looked at his temporary ally. "We need to stop this now. We can't handle them all, not just the two of us, and definitely not when you're injured."

Kisame spat a mouthful of blood. "I know, Scarecrow. Let me think."

Wheezing, the giant ninja ripped his cloak in half and used it to staunch the blood flow. Kakashi looked at the battle. The beast was waiting for them, crouched into position. The battle raged on, all sides fighting on the grass since the destruction of the house. Suddenly it came to him.

He looked at the Shark-nin. "Can you still create water?"

Kisame grimaced. "Not enough to sweep them all away. The best I could do right now is to flood them to their knees. And even that would be pushing it."

Kakashi grinned. "That's all I need."

Kisame looked surprised. "What are you talking about, Scarecrow? Wet shoes won't kill anyone."

Kakashi began to make the seals. "Trust me, Shark man. Trust me."

Kisame grunted. Focusing himself, his hand flashed quickly. "Suiton: Lake Creation!"

The prediction wasn't wrong. Immediately water started to seep from the ground, turning the land to mud, and then rising further. Kisame collapsed. "That's all I got. It's on you now."

Kakashi nodded. "You might want to get somewhere high up and dry."

Kisame obliged. Leaping up, he wedged the Samehada into a tree, and then sat on it.

Kakashi focused on the beast. It was still there. He finished the seals. Chakra poured to his hand, and the air began to fill with a familiar noise.

He charged towards the beast, Sharingan whirling, his speed increasing with every step, till finally, airborne, he screamed…

"CHIDORI!!!"

The air was thick with the smell of charred flesh.

From his vantage point, Hoshigaki Kisame whistled. "Not bad. Not bad at all."

Kakashi slowly got to his feet. His speed had carried him through the worst of it, but he had suffered some serious burns on his legs. He stood, then fell. Turning his head, he gazed weakly over the scene.

The beast was dead. Chidori had ripped it in two. The body parts writhed slowly, reverting in death to humanity. It was decomposing fast, the results of whatever arcane process had been used to hold it together fading faster than morning fog. Around it, the burnt bodies of wizards and shinobi littered the plain. Some were still alive, though not for long. Patches of water stilled crackled with electricity, and fires were burning throughout.

Kakashi smiled. It had worked perfectly.

Footsteps made him turn his head, wincing with the agony. Uchiha Itachi emerged from the wreckage of the house.

The smile turned to horror as Kakashi saw what followed him…

He looked at the carnage, frowning with distaste, and then waved his wand. The water disappeared. He waved it again. The dead bodies piled themselves up in a mound, and then erupted into a white-hot flame, incinerating them in moments.

"Are you satisfied?"

The question burned itself into his mind. Are you satisfied? It had worked perfectly, just as he had expected. The dried husk inside the house, formerly one of the most feared shinobi in the world; the dead snake, formerly a beloved companion and, more than that, a vessel for his soul. Are you satisfied? Knowledge flitted through his mind, awareness of possibilities and powers completely new but at the same time incredibly familiar: magic; jutsu; words that had only one real meaning, and that was Power. Are you satisfied? His body felt different, fully under his command. A new strength filled him. No physical feat was beyond him. Are you satisfied?

He spoke. "Yes."

Uchiha Itachi nodded. "Then the agreement is fulfilled. We have granted your request. Now we shall leave. The next time our paths cross, it shall be as enemies."

He smiled. "I think we shall commence hostilities right now."

The Uchiha prodigy's expression changed for an instant. And for that instant, the man felt fear. "No. You do not have full command over yourself. At this time, I am far beyond you."

He nodded. "Very well. You and your partner may leave. But the white-haired one who killed so many… I demand his life."

Even with his heightened senses, he never saw the movement. One moment the Uchiha stood before him, the next, his arm was raised and a needle had pierced Kakashi's throat.

Itachi spoke. "I will take his body."

The man narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

Itachi stared at Kakashi's corpse. "He is… was a friend of mine."

The man stared at him. Finally he relaxed. "Very well."

Itachi walked a few steps. He lifted the body and settled it over his shoulder. Then he looked back at the man.

The man spoke. "Goodbye, Uchiha Itachi. I pray we meet again. Soon."

Itachi nodded. "Farewell… Wait. What do I call you now?"

The man smiled, revealing a forked tongue. "Once, I was Tom Riddle. Then I became Lord Voldemort. Now? You may call me the Serpent King."

"Very well. Farewell, your majesty. I am sure our paths will cross in the future."

Itachi disappeared. The man watched as he materialized next to his companion. He continued to watch long after they had vanished.

He heard a popping noise behind him. Without turning, he spoke. "Severus. Do not remain here unduly. I have an urgent message for you to give to that old fool in his castle."

Barely keeping the shock out of his voice, Snape managed to string together a reply. "What message, Lord?"

"Tell him…" The man thought for a moment. "Tell him the prophecy is fulfilled. The Serpent King is Risen!"

Snape knelt before his master, fear constricting his heart as a high, cold laughter pierced the air.

Kakashi awoke. He was in a bed. The room was warm and pleasant. A light breeze filtered through the open window. His burns were bandaged. He recognized the place: Konoha's infirmary.

A voice cut through the air like the icy blast of winter. "Don't speak. Listen."

Uchiha Itachi stepped in front of him. "You are in Tsukuyomi. It's the safest place for us to talk."

Despite the order, Kakashi couldn't help himself. "You! You betrayed me!"

Itachi snarled. "Silence! This was how it was supposed to go from the beginning. When Pain made the deal with Voldemort, the condition was to teach him the arts of the shinobi. The easiest way was for him to consume the soul of Orochimaru. Don't you see? Voldemort didn't help Akatsuki through compulsion. They were working together the whole time!"

Kakashi was stunned. "But then why did you help us…"

Itachi cut him off, his anger easily visible. "You were convenient. If Orochimaru had suspected, he would have killed Voldemort immediately. Your presence guaranteed our intentions looked hostile. Orochimaru knows that we would never work together unless desperate for the same end. That's why we helped you."

Itachi began pacing the room. "It was beautifully planned. I was in contact with Voldemort from the beginning. The second Orochimaru met him; I knew the entirety of their conversation thanks to a witch Voldemort allowed us to capture. We killed her to convince Orochimaru of our intentions. Your attack… Voldemort knew it was planned. Right down to the names of your teammates. We had intended that you survive, but Kabuto ruined that. Every second of this mission of yours was predicted, noted and scripted, and it came off perfectly."

Kakashi stared in shock. He had never seen Itachi so emotional. "Why are you telling me this?"

Itachi wheeled round. "As of one hour ago, Hatake Kakashi died. We used an emergency communication scroll to tell Konoha."

"What?"

Itachi continued. "As of one hour ago, Uchiha Itachi resigned from Akatsuki. Kisame is informing the rest. They already know why."

"Why?"

Itachi didn't answer. He looked to be debating the question in his head. Finally he looked Kakashi in the eye. "I have a virus. It's killing me slowly. That, combined with my oncoming blindness makes me unfit for any kind of work Akatsuki does."

He looked away and continued. "And this brings me to the point. You have a choice, Kakashi. Right here and now, you have a choice. You can go back to Konoha, proving that the scroll was a fake. You'll be a hero, and Tsunade will use you well in missions. That's one option."

Kakashi considered this. "And the other?"

Itachi smiled sadly. "You come with me. There's a hospital in this country where I can be cured. It will take a while, but they can do it. But while I'm in there, you'll be my eyes and ears. I need you, Kakashi. I need you to do the most important thing in the world, because if you don't, I have no idea what to do. You need to find Sasuke before Akatsuki do, and when you find him, I need you to keep him with you. Do whatever it takes, but make sure Akatsuki don't get him. You need to find him before they finish gathering Jinchuuriki, or it will be too late."

Kakashi looked puzzled. "Why?"

Itachi shook his head. "Decide first."

Kakashi considered the options. It was a tough call. He looked at Itachi. For the first time in his life, the man seemed desperate. He looked away. He sat there for hours, pondering the choice. Finally, he made up his mind.

"I'll do it."

Itachi smiled a smile of pure relief. "Let's go. We have a lot of work to do."

They stepped out of the dream world, and vanished into the night.

This marks the end of 'Dark Thoughts and Darker Deeds.' I originally intended it to only be a one-off story, but now I'm thinking of having a sequel. Anyhow, it's been great fun, and I thank all my reviewers for their kind words.

Hope you enjoyed the show, and I look forward to seeing you in the next part.

Oh, and I'm happy to answer any questions you have, unless they're part of the next story.