Orokid: To tell the truth, it's been a long time since I've written anything- so it's most likely horrible. But- since it's bedtime and I'm soon going to get yelled at for not being in bed yet- I have to really make this short. So… forgive me on this shortness up here, 'kay? Yeah…
Disclaimer: I do not own Strawberry Panic! or anything thereof. I'm not even sure if I own the storyline I have. Or if there is one.
Tears
Some days, it felt as though her world, her life, had been an ongoing spinning wheel, a top that continues to spin without losing its momentum. Her fingers would outstretch, hoping to grasp hold of what seemed to be falling away from them, and she would find that she rarely had the ability to take hold and fix the mess her life was turning into. As per usual, everything around her was slipping away from her at a rate she found unbearable, and she wanted nothing more than to stop the descent of her fall.
These days, she felt like it just wasn't fair anymore.
"Shizuma-sama…" Her name had escaped from the young girl's lips, and her hands began to tremble as she remembered the feelings that had once giddily bubbled inside her. She missed it. Missed the happiness and joy that would stream through her very veins at the sight of her beloved; missed the anxiety that clenched her heart so tightly whenever their hands might touch; missed feeling the unconditional love she had once thought moved through her beautiful Onee-sama.
She missed it all terribly.
It seemed hard not to feel as she did, and harder yet to paint on a smile and pretend that the world around her didn't seem what she tried so desperately to hide. Her heart mourned the loss of the love she had so freely given, and she wore that pain on her sleeve no matter how hard she attempted to keep it from knowing eyes. The wound was still fresh, and it would remain so as each beat of her heart would tear open what progress that might've been made.
With a shaking hand, she reached and held her throbbing chest through the thick fabric of her uniform, hoping to calm the ravaging pain which coursed through each and every fiber of her very being. Nails bit lightly into her skin as the hurt increased, and her body curled into itself as tears smeared her view of the room surrounding her.
Why couldn't it just stop? Once and for all, just… stop? The question seemed unanswerable, and it was unsure whether or not she'd ever receive one. Several more only accompanied the one, if she liked it or not. Why couldn't her heart stop beating in her breast? Or even the oxygen within the room run out and leave her breathless? Why couldn't she move on from this treacherous one-sided love only she felt?
'Why can't God just let me die?'
No one could really answer her questions. No one except herself, and she was without answers. She knew that for much too long to expect anything different.
Yet she couldn't stop herself from asking "why".
"Why can't I..? Shizuma-sama…" Salty teardrops fell from her large, childish eyes, falling like rain in a thunderstorm, as the dying rosebud crumbled to her knees. Her palm remained clutched to her throbbing organ, holding it tightly as though it might fall from her chest and shatter on the floor beneath her. "Why? Why?!" A sob wracked through her entire system, falling soon to the ground, past the curled heap of her heartbroken soul. The drops slowly began to soak the rug with her tragedies, cleansing her heart from the emotions that she had held back for days, weeks even, on end.
Her irrational heart cried that it wasn't fair, that she should have been the one who received the entire heart of the person she so loved. Yet her sensible mind told her that she should have realized it earlier than she had, that it would be impossible for her to merely assume that she was the only one in which was in the heart of the one she adored, that another had to be the one to cradle such a fragile emotion in the palms of their hands.
While she hadn't meant for it to happen, irrationality seemed to catch hold of her emotions and keep her sanity in a way in which she could not deny. Every part of her being screamed and howled with the heartache she felt from within, and all she could do was let loose the depression and frustration to a world where she felt denied her existence of love.
A shadow by the door stood quietly, hugging her own form as she fought off tears and an aching heart, watching with focused eyes as every ounce of pain moved through the amber haired beauty. Her own hand held tight to her night clothes, clutching with an invisible grasp the organ only her body could hold, trying hard to stop it from feeling the same pain that she saw before her now. She knew all too well the torture that this girl felt.
But she knew that one would have to turn back time itself to keep her from feeling that emotion. She knew because she could always feel the hurt and anguish that the young woman felt- because that pain she felt was the same that surged through her friend like a wildfire.
She knew it all too well.
Yet it wasn't her own pain that she wanted to quell as she stood there at the doorway. And it wasn't her heart she wished to keep from breaking. She wanted more than anything to heal the one who remained on the floor.
Careful and sheltering arms lifted the fallen angel, taking her into a gentle, loving embrace, and the girl merely shook as her sobs raged uncontrollably through her. No words were spoken between the two. The girl's arms encircled tightly her savior's waist, holding tighter than ever before as her heartache throbbed between their separate hearts. The calmer of the two took to petting the other's hair, attempting to soothe the girl's sorrows- if even just a little.
Her name was whispered into their embrace, shaking fingertips grasping to her pale blue nightgown. Tears made their way through the thin fabric, soaking her skin with the girl's pains and regrets. "Tamao-chan!" Another powerful wrack of sobs moved through the one in her arms, and the one she called friend held onto the girl without a second thought of ever letting her go.
Neither really wished her to.
As the sun creeped down the sides of the mountains far from their own little hill, the clipped wings on her beloved angel of the roses fell from her back, leaving her grounded forevermore.
Tamao only hoped she'd learn to fly again.
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Orokid: Any chances of me getting reviews?? ;;