So for all of you who have seen the BMW ads starring Clive Owen, you'll recognize this as "Star". As soon as I realized how perfectly it fit, I couldn't resist writing a fanfic about it. I went with the stereotypes of Yautja arrogance, Human unpredictability, and Xenomorph sneakiness. I highly recommend you watch the original video on Youtube. Just search for "BMW ad Clive Owen Madonna" and it'll come up. The others are a joy to watch as well. "Beat the Devil" is really good with James Brown and Gary Oldman.

Disclaimer: I do not own AVP, the BMW ads, or anyone who stars in the BMW ads. I also do not own the script of "Star" but I do copy the style.

Enjoy!

Ta ta,

A

AVPAVPAVP

The first thing you notice physically about him is his face. Mandibles protrude from his cheek and jaw line which click and twitch. When he is off the planet it is rare you see them because they're usually covered by a mask. But when you do, they're the first thing you notice.

The next thing you notice is his body. Strong. Powerful. Muscles ripple along every surface.

But one of the most fearsome qualities this Yautja hunter possesses is his voice. His shattering fear-inducing voice.

He's a legend in his own time. He has few rivals and is meeting one soon in the ring. He is one of the most amazing fighters known. He makes pups look up to him, Young Bloods move out of his way, and females of all ages vie for his attention.

And he's a complete bit-

"XENOMORPH!!"

An alien drone relaxing against a pillar in the parking garage immediately snapped his head up. He jumped away from the body guard he'd been talking to and scampered over to the hunter.

"Yes? I am here to say you are the best at what you do! No other fighter can touch you and if they can-"

"Tarei hsan!"

The xenomorph skidded to a halt and stood waiting. Knowing the hunter, that wouldn't be the end of it.

"This is not what I pay you for!" The yautja shoved the xenomorph into one of the wannabes trailing behind him who in turn shoved him into the other wannabe. The xenomorph was shouldered to the ground but got up smiling anyway.

"Hey, it's ok! I am here to serve all your needs, Strong One."

That's Glen. There's no bravery in him. But he's paid enough not to have any or to complain. Some yautja experiment enabled him to speak the language and messed with his brain. Now he serves the kind who made him like this. He doesn't speak out against it though the yautja continue to hunt his kind. Like they hunt mine.

"Spear. I WANT MY SPEAR!!" The yautja hunter glared menacing at the lackeys scrambling to get what he wants. He doesn't need the spear now, but it makes a much better impression if he gets out of the mobile vehicle with it.

A Young Blood approached him carrying the more skilled hunter's spear in both hands. He reverently held it out. It was snatched from his hands and glanced at.

"It had better be sharpened." Another glare to Glen who piped up-

"Sharp. Oh, so very sharp!"

The hunter looked at his usual mobile vehicle unimpressed. "I want a change." A lazy look around before his gaze settled on another mobile vehicle waiting in the parking garage. It was sleeker than his and lower to the ground. The lighting glinted off the white coating in a way his gray mobile vehicle couldn't achieve.

Glen scrambled to open the door for him as the hunter strode for the backseat of the new vehicle. The hunter slid into the new vehicle and scrutinized the interior. Glen waited outside for the hunter's approval of the change.

"This'll do." The spear was placed on his lap and the yautja glanced at the back of the driver speaking. "Take me to the ring."

"I'm sorry," I replied, "I'm already driving someone else."

"Are they in the car? No? Then you're driving me."

"What ring?"

"If you think that I am supposed to know where I'll be fighting that good-for-nothing s'yuit-de bastard, you're mistaken. Now take me to the ring."

Before I had time to open my mouth the front passenger door opened and one of the wannabes appeared to my left. "We're going to the Palace."

The yautja glared at the back of my head in annoyance as I looked at him through the rear view mirror. "Listen, weakling-" he finally noticed what species I was and smirked, "Listen ooman, next time make sure you know where I'll be fighting. It should have been broadcast enough. Everyone knows who I am."

The wannabe began to climb into my mobile vehicle causing the hunter to notice.

"What are you doing?" Contempt was laced in his words.

"Riding with you, Powerful One."

"Then get on the roof and hold on tightly unless you fly off, weakling."

The wannabe tried not to show his disappointment but I could see it in the slight sagging of his mandibles. "I will ride behind you." The wannabe looked at me with slight disgust before leaving. I knew where the Palace was. As soon as I'd got the call, I'd pulled out the maps and made a few rounds. The door closed and I was left with the hunter in the back.

"Now move before he comes back and tries to get in the car. I don't want them following me!" He crossed his arms across his chest and leaned imperiously back.

I gave a neutral "Ok." and started the car.

His fans were crowded around the exit to the parking garage. They were screaming, roaring, clicking, and making what noise they could. Several alien species were represented although the type of behaviour they were exhibiting would never show up at any diplomatic negotiations. I was sure of that. I ignored it and maneuvered my way through the security holding them back. The hunter had ducked down beneath the windows. When the fans ascertained he wasn't in my car, some of them giving me dirty looks and flared mandibles, they rushed for the next vehicle.

As soon as I was on the street he sat up and looked around, smirking at the number of females trying to plaster themselves onto the windshield. It was my turn to be disgusted but I didn't show it. Oh no, I had perfected my poker face and nothing got past it.

"Why are we going so slow?" Annoyance was etched into his features. I wondered if mothers on this planet told their children their faces would freeze like that if they did it long enough. He didn't seem to care I was going the speed limit already.

"Excuse me?"

"Are you deaf as well as small and weak? I said 'why are we going so slow'. People are waiting for me. People want me. I'm sure you've never experienced that but I'm powerful enough for it to happen."

"Well, sir, I don't want you to be in any danger while you're in my vehicle."

"Don't 'sir' me, weakling. Pity your driving isn't as good as your serving skills, puny as they are already, but I told you I don't want security following me. It looks weak. Nothing to say, ooman?"

My communicator went off. I dug into my vest as I looked into my rear view mirror. "Would you excuse me for a moment?" I flicked the volume to low but turned it up when the hunter leaned forward and began messing with the radio dials. He wouldn't overhear. It was Glen.

"Hello?"

"Hey, hey, is he ok?"

"Yeah, he's fine. I'll take care of him."

In the back I could see the hunter's face contort into disgust. It seemed the one emotion he could express the most.

"Don't hurry. Show him everything. Give him everything I paid you for." Finding nothing of his interest on the radio he flicked it off. I wondered how close he'd come to breaking the buttons.

"He won't be late." My eyes flicked to his in the mirror. I hung up and placed my communicator back into my vest. My calm brown eyes never left his golden ones.

He slowly leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees and cocked his head at me. "If you stopped staring at me we'd get there faster." With a yautja smirk, one mandible raised, he placed his hands behind his head and leaned back in the seat making sure to slowly wiggle his hips.

I admit, my eyes flicked down to right below his waist. But hey, I was a teenage girl and even if his arrogance was the size of a planet, he still had a good-looking body. I struggled to be professional as I fought the blush flaming across my cheeks.

"Don't get enough attention from your males?"

Blush was gone. Now my whole face was red. Had to get back to professional. Needed to be professional.

I rolled to a graceful stop and allowed the hint of a small smile. "Let me see what I can do, ma'am." He was probably much more acquainted with "sir" but I doubted he knew what "ma'am" was. I made sure the stick was in neutral. It was hell to get one of their vehicles modified but I'd managed it. Now it handled like a true Earth car, a BMW, in fact.

He began fiddling with his dreads. Teasing me had apparently bored him. I doubted my driving would.

AVPAVPAVP

So?? What do you think? I'll get the next chapter posted soon. Much faster than my other fics. Review please!