Everyone! My deepest apologies for the lateness of this chapter. I've started working last January and boy, did it lessen my time and motivation to write... ;_; But I'm better!

And now, it's time to say goodbye to cardcaptor-eternity who did so many beta work for me since a year. Thanks for all the good work, Pamy-chou!

But let's cheer for Prism0467, who not only beta'ed this chapter but took the time to –patiently- explain me functions of Word I didn't even know exist. THANKS!

And finally... time for the story.

Chapter 4: Hiding

"You listen, Brat," Tsunade began. "Just because you managed to control yourself those last days does not mean the Kazekage will pardon the offence just like that: What have you tried to do to make amends?"

Naruto gritted his teeth. Right now, he knew he should be grateful for Tsunade. She had, after all, managed to hide his previous fuck-up from the whole Council up to today. But it did not mean that he appreciated having his relationsp with Gaara discussed by a bunch of old geezers who seemed adamant in adding to it a whole political twist. As far as he was concerned none of the incident was related to Konoha and Suna, it was just linked to the fact that he was a temperamental moron and that Gaara was in full snit mode.

He let his gaze brush over the lined faces of the Council members –lined save for Shizune and Sakura, though the latter did not look at her best today- remembering that he had it easy. With Tsunade, Shizune and Sakura in the Council, numbers were fairly often on his side. Yet, it could happen that the Godaime was not giving him her full confidence... Like, right now.

"I told you, baa-chan, I presented him formal apologies in written form several times, which I always personally delivered." And better kept hidden the exact number of times, too. He'd rather have that kind of humiliation left private.

"Yet he always refused to talk to you." One breezy voice stated, and Naruto turned exasperated eyes toward a man whose flimsy beard did little to hide the arrogant sneer behind it.

"Well, he's being a bit difficult." He said, as if Gaara was a stubborn kid and not the leader of a Nation with a military force rivalling his own. "But I assure you one more time that this is a personal matter and has nothing to do with Konoha and Suna's alliance."

Shizune coughed, her way to focus people's attention on her. "We're keeping a close watch on the major dignitaries, including the leader of the other Shinobi Nations; no one seems to want to make a move." Naruto nodded glumly. One of the 'dignitaries' he had requested to put under strict surveillance was the blue-haired guy who was so chummy with Gaara. So far, they had not tried to see each other. He did not know if he ought to feel relieved, irritated or slightly suspicious.

"No one wants to make a move yet. I believe that they're just waiting to see how far our esteemed Hokage-sama will indeed not move from personal to politics", The same old man retorted. A member of the Nara Clan, Naruto recalled. Funny, that family was known to produce geniuses, surely survival instincts has to do with intelligence?

"And better for the Kazekage to follow that lead too, or else Iwa is in a far better position than we", he added snidely. Naruto's gaze, which had up to that moment been wandering in an annoyed fashion, stilled and set with predator-like quality upon the old man's head.

'Yeah, probably a Nara through alliance.' He thought, feeling hot-sick warmth spreading around his seal. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sakura and Tsunade shift, and he took a big breath. The warmth receded.

If he had to be honest with himself, all those meddlers were right to meddle. He just hated it because they said stuff that he had not necessarily wanted to hear. Like how the Kazekage had refused to see him ever since their fight. Had not written back to him. Had not, in fact, reacted at all to his letters, or to any other attempts he had made to reach him.

All traces of remaining warmth vanished from his body, replaced by a cold, dreading feeling when the thought he had tried to push away all these days crept back to him; that maybe it was the end, maybe Gaara really hated him now and would only tolerate his presence for the sake of Sunagakure, and he was going to lose his best friend one more time, only this time it was even worse because…

Tsunade may have sensed his growing distress; she leaned slightly toward him, moving for the kill:

"Hokage-sama..." Damn she was serious now. "Use your position as the head of that conference to ask formally for a meeting with the Kazekage... he won't be able to refuse then. And we need to know where we stand with Suna, for real." There was a whisper of agreement from the council members around her, so her next words were drowned by the noise "and so do you."

Naruto shook his head, aghast. "I can't do that, Baa-chan! You don't know Gaara... if I force his hand, and like that, in public, he'll feel humiliated and questioned in his authority, he'll never forgive me for that!"

Tsunade stood up, signalling the end of the meeting. "Then I suggest that you quickly try to find a way to establish contact before tomorrow's last meeting, then", She said loftily. "In the meantime, I wish you a good evening, Hokage-sama."

For a moment, it looked like a couple of Council members had a say about leaving, but the Godaime had still enough of an authority that they followed her. Naruto tried to catch Sakura's eye, but she hurriedly left, not glancing back at him.

Naruto was left alone, with nothing to do but study the best way to have his best friend talk to him again.

NaruGaaNaruGaaNaruGaaOMGGaaNaruGaaNaruGaaNaru

Matsuri was Gaara-sama's first –and so far, only- student, and was one of the very few she could call a friend. She had also been for twenty wonderful months following a much messed-up proposal unwisely mixing battle puppets and fireworks, his sister-in-law. Those close ties, her devotion to her brother by marriage and her very unique abilities had made her a good candidate for being the Kazekage's assistant.

But Matsuri was also very, very kind-hearted and patient -which incidentally were also qualities demanded to deal with the Suna leader on a day-to-day basis. She was not prone to rancour and that was why she felt a good deal of pity these days, when she caught sight of the dejected figure of the Hokage.

Little resentment she held toward him was mostly due to the fact that the offence had been made to Gaara-sama. Her forgiving nature would have cave in far earlier if it had concerned her.

But now, after days of the same routine, she really hope that her Kazekage would find some mercy for his best friend, and soon.

Three times in the day, Naruto would try to come and see Gaara: once in the morning before the meetings started, once at lunch and the last one in the evening, at sunset. She would see him –at least the first two times, when she was on guard duty- walk the corridor toward the Kazekage's suite and where she was standing guard, always alone and without his Kage robes. His face would be set in determination, the expression blurring a little to let see the hope shining in him as he came level to her and asked, his voice slightly rough, if Gaara was available for a visit.

And then she would see his face crumble in disappointment when she would lie to him and told the tale Gaara had asked her to repeat over and over, without changing a word; that Kazekage-sama was absent and no, he couldn't wait for him inside, she didn't know when he'd be back.

And meanwhile, they would both be able to feel the redhead's chakra pulsating from within his room. Gaara had not even tried to make his lie believable; it was just another way to blatantly show the other man how low he had fallen on the list of the Kazekage's priorities.

Naruto would nod once, his lips tight, and would reach into his pocket for a square envelope, always of the same kind, and request that she leave it with Gaara. She would say yes, and he would smile, a frail thing really, and thank her.

This time they met at the end of the corridor. Temari-san had come to see her little brother, and afterwards Gaara had asked her to walk his sister home. Of course, he had not asked aloud: if Temari so much as *suspected* them of being solicitous, she would skin them both alive. But she could read in his body language that he wanted her to, and so she had. It was as she was running back to her post that she crossed paths with Naruto.

She had burbled on her little speech as usual, and he had given her the envelope, as usual.

However as she watched him go, his shoulders slumped and the very image of what Gaara was keeping all bottled up not ten feet away, she resolved to try harder to make Gaara-sama read what was inside that darn missive.

She headed back to the Kazekage's quarters, nodding to the Jounin guarding the door. She paused on the threshold and feeling suddenly very relieved that she had intercepted the Hokage before he made it that far, she pushed the door open.

"Gaara-sama." She bowed deeply before his leader, seated at his desk and poring over some scrolls. When they were alone, she would forego the bow and the honorific, as requested, but…

"Good evening, Sasagawa-san."

The blue-haired man smiled brightly at her. He was lounging in one of the armchairs, a block of stone in his hands and apparently completely at ease and relaxed. But she could feel the tension in his shoulders, and around the edges of his smile.

"Matsuri! I was waiting for you; I've got something… here."

He handed her the chunk of stone. Surprised, she realised it was not a block, but a sculpted head and –she blushed a bit- it was her! Flustered, she began to babble a stream of thanks but he waved them away. He put his finger on the stone lips of the statue, and the young woman nearly dropped it when she felt the tingle and realised what he was doing, yet she managed to keep a steady face.

"I had trouble with the smile," he admitted. "I couldn't make it as warm as the original."

Matsuri flushed an even deeper shade of pink. She thought that the statue was beautiful –far more than she was! She was about to show her gratitude again, when Gaara's voice interrupted her.

"You're right, it can't compare to the model. But it is a good work, though I doubt it will make Kankuro hate your guts any less." He added with a bit of smile, his eyes on the statue. Matsuri's gratitude for the Iwa Jounin increased tenfold: it was the first smile she had seen on his lips in days.

"Thank you, Gaara." She then bowed deeply. "And you, Sasagawa-san."

"Matsuri was about to make us all tea, would you like some?" The Kazekage added.

The Jounin glanced at Matsuri and the Hokage's envelope that was still in her hand. The shadow of his cold, calculating uncle seemed to pass in his eyes, and he answered with a slight grin.

"Sorry, but I'll pass for this time. Duty calls." His smile faltered a bit and a myriad of emotions seemed to pass on his amiable face as he looked at the redhead hunched over a scroll. "Goodbye, Gaara."

The Kazekage seemed to pause for a second, and nodded. "Goodbye."

Matsuri had to fight to *not* lower her gaze from Nobuo's face; she felt like she was intruding on a private moment. But it seemed that even the most complicated stories could be resolved in less than two seconds, because the Iwa Jounin did not wait that amount of time before departing.

The kunoichi kept all her observations and questions for later. Since Gaara requested, there would be tea first. The first cup was for the guard at the door; that was not something the Kazekage had specifically asked of her, but he always brought her one himself when she was on watch duty and she did not want the rest of his shinobi to start mumbling about favouritism.

The sentinel sent her a hopeful look, obviously curious to know why Sasagawa-san had been there, but Matsuri answered this with a flat, hard gaze that immediately made him re-think the idea of gossiping about his Kazekage. He accepted the drink with stuttering thanks, and the kunoichi smiled inwardly; one couldn't stay in contact with Gaara without picking up a bit –oh well, a lot- about intimidation techniques.

She then took the tray to his temporary office. He had let go of his paperwork and reclined in his chair, a faraway look in his eyes. She poured the cups, took a seat across his desk and began:

"I brought Temari-san home, don't worry, you're not suspected of trying to coddle her." An unmistakable look of relief crossed the Kazekage's face. "She thought I wanted to speak about…" there, she felt her cheeks heat up, as she remembered who she was talking to. "Children… and Kankuro."

Rather, how to use the second to produce the first, but she wasn't about to tell Gaara *that*. Matsuri had not wanted to talk about it either, but Temari really found it highly suspicious that after one long year-and-a-half of marriage her sister-in-law had not even started on her first pregnancy. She seemed to believe that Kankuro was somewhat at fault, and had showered his poor spouse with questions so precise it had very nearly traumatized her.

Fortunately, those kinds of considerations went a mile above Gaara's head. Ignoring her blush, he just nodded and took a sip of his tea. He then looked at her and asked:

"And what about Nobuo?"

Matsuri frowned slightly, now all back to business.

Many had wondered, especially amongst the foreign dignitaries, why the Kazekage had chosen her as his first assistant. She was of no influential family that could have been placated by offering this kind of desk job to one of its less gifted element. And as a mid-range fighter specialized in using illusions through genjutsu, she had not the profile of a close-security guard.

Most people had subsequently assumed that she was there as a favour as an old student or as the fiancée, then wife of the Kazekage's brother. The Suna shinobi privately added that she was one of few patient and tough enough to support working closely with their well-loved but frightening, stress-inducing and work-a-holic insomniac leader.

Those were all valid points, but the real reason was elsewhere. Just like Ino Yamanaka, Matsuri was good in knowing what went into people minds. But unlike the Hokage's assistant, whose ability was linked to a rare bloodline, Matsuri's was not even produced by the use of a jutsu. When Ino entered individuals' mind, Matsuri was just reading them through their bodies.

Whenever people were nervous, happy, excited, it tended to be echoed by their stance and movements. All shinobi knew that, of course, and did their best to suppress their most obvious habits… which was as easy as keeping water in hands: just like water, feelings were bound to leak. The Suna kunoichi was just particularly gifted in the interpretation of those leaks.

Back to the days when the Kazekage had been the Jiinchuriki Sabaku no Gaara, reformed bloodthirsty monster and Suna's most powerful weapon, that ability had made her see the boy who wanted to help and pass the knowledge that had helped him survive: weapons, be it the ones made in steel or the ones made of flesh like himself, were not so fearful and loathsome when used to protect loved ones.

And Matsuri was good enough of an empath that she could read in one glance posture, context, while taking in account what was said to make the translation to her emotionally stunted boss. It might have been an innate disposition linked to her caring mind; it might have been a side effect to being an orphan at a young age and having to quickly read the mood of the adults in charge of her. Either way, it worked well, and enabled her to complement nicely the Kazekage's own lacks in that regard.

"He was…" Matsuri started, then paused, embarrassed. Some of it was linked with her boss' personal life, she was sure if it. "…nervous, that's the first I picked up. A bit frightened, really. Hopeful, too. And sad."

The Kazekage's face was attentive. He followed their routine and asked; "Your conclusions?"

"He was there to breach an uncomfortable subject, that's why he was nervous… and he was not frightened of you so most probably, it is related to what you discussed."

Gaara's face was impassive. "Correct."

Matsuri did not mind his shortness. If explanations were to come it would only be once there was nothing left to tell.

"The hopefulness… I felt it when he saw the envelope I had in my hand, and then, well, Nobuo-san tricked me and entered my mind when he and I both touched the statue- and I'm sorry about it, Gaara-sama, I didn't know how to block him."

For once, the Kazekage interrupted her: "There is no way. If you want to guard your thoughts from him for sure, I can only advise that you keep clear of anything stone. Don't feel bad, I fell for it as well."

Matsuri smiled in thanks, and paused. She was entering delicate lands, trying to re-create what had been discussed between her boss and his guest. Of course, it would be darn easier if Gaara just told her the whole discussion, but easy was not the goal. It was to do from scratch the whole thing from Nobuo's point of view, and as such highlight what Gaara might have missed.

"What he read from my mind is, I believe, no, I know…" she hesitated. "Is how I want you to read the Hokage's letter. And try to make you, hum, consider his excuse." In front of her, the Kazekage's face hasn't moved a muscle.

"So his hope stemmed from his expectations that I would convince you of that. This led me to believe that he earlier tried to talk you into giving a chance to the Hokage as well. And, he must not have succeeded, hence the fright he felt, not of you, but of the consequences of this refusal."

"Right." Said her Kage, a small smile on his lips. Not his good smile, either.

"And he was sad because you decided to break things with him." The smile slipped off. Matsuri frowned, and amended her words. "It was a nostalgic kind of sadness, not a broken-hearted one."

"Correct, once again." Gaara sighed, rubbing his eyes. Not a gesture of fatigue, but of wariness. He spoke again.

"Very well. I believe that will be all, Matsuri. And thank you."

'Isn't that a nice dismissal?' Matsuri idly touched the ring on her right hand, the one that linked her to Kankuro and his family, even the brooding, power-ridden, redheaded kind. And that ring did give her the right to nag, if not with the same confidence as Temari, at least with some of the same legitimate concern.

"As for Naruto-san," she continued. "He appeared to be genuinely remorseful and quite desperate to see you. I felt that he is sincere in his desire to make amends and…"

"…And I don't recall asking your opinion on that matter, Matsuri." The redhead shook his head, looking more annoyed than angry, and spoke again.

"So you too, have fallen to the Hokage's charms? Temari wanted to tear him a new one only a couple of days ago, and now she is urging me to talk to him again." He narrowed his eyes.

'Hurt' Matsuri picked on, almost absent-mindedly.

"She's afraid for Suna and Konoha's alliances. And you, when I always had the feeling you and him never got along together, are taking his defence? Or do you also think that I will put my personal grievances before my duties as a Kage?"

Matsuri frowned. She never had anything against the Hokage; it was the other way around. She remembered her first meetings with the Leaf Leader and how she had noticed that when he was naturally nice with everybody around him, he had acted naturally nice around her, while his eyes held a thin sheen of calculating coldness. She had pondered a lot about it, but the context enabling her to connect the dots was missing until she officially dated Kankuro and then, the Hokage started being genuinely nice with her.

Thinking back, she really thought she had been slow on that one; after all, she had known nearly right from the start that her Gaara-sensei was nearly head over heels with that Naruto Uzumaki person who made him talk about 'protecting your loved ones' with such a far-away look on his face.

"I'd never think that about you, Gaara! And Temari wouldn't either!" she protested. "We just…I just know that his yearning to set things right between you is real, and…" she eyed the envelope again. "I don't understand why you don't even try to hear him out."

Gaara followed her eyes to where she put the small square of paper. He picked it up, a humourless smile baring his teeth.

"That?" He said. "There's no need to read it. He did not write a single word."

The kunoichi blinked, astounded. "But… if you haven't read any of those, how can you tell?"

Gaara snorted. "I know Naruto. He's a man of action and loathes the written part of the job of a Kage, and that to the point that he tried to make a dozen of clones to help him with his paperwork once."

'Happy, Nostalgic', Matsuri decided, seeing the pale lips, earlier stretched in a sardonic grin, soften into something genuine.

"But of course, they were clones of himself. So when he got back to his office, he found most of his scrolls turned in the all the origami forms possible or in the best case while the other had explicit doodles in the margin. And the clones had decided to have lunch at Ichiraku Ramen. On his tab, of course. I think the face he made when he realised that is one of my best memories."

The smile slipped. "Uzumaki Naruto would rather think of blasting the wall away to talk to me than writing his thoughts on a bit of paper. I don't know who put that idea in his head, but I'm not going to read in case that person had decided to mingle with his words and thoughts as well."

'Angry, now...but also, relieved?'

"Then… why not let him talk to you then?"

"Because," he snarled "I don't feel very generous. Let him write his lines 'till his hand fall, the bastard. He hates that, and I'm glad."

'Lie.'

"But you're going to talk to him, aren't you?" Matsuri carefully said. "The meetings are officially over now and we're leaving in two days… not to return for four more months. You can't ignore him for so long."

His body stilled. 'Defensive'.

"Damn it all… Nobuo told me that already!" Gaara bit his lip. 'Frightened?'

"I'll hear him eventually, Matsuri. I told you I won't do anything to endanger the relations between Suna and Konoha. But for now I'm..."

...too afraid...

"... Waiting for both of us to cool down."

'Fear, definitely. Pain… growing. Oh, Gaara…' The kunoichi stared sadly at her boss, who was studiously avoiding her gaze. She knew Kankuro entrusted her with the care of his sibling, but right now there was nothing she could do to ease the distress oozing from him.

Talking could help people, but she doubted it was possible with her verbally-challenged boss. Yet she tried.

"Why are you afraid of talking to him, Gaara? It is obvious he wishes to apologize and he's not trying to bring more ill on you."

The redhead sighed. "It feels… still a bit early." He said, keeping his face resolutely away from his too-keen assistant. As if that was enough, when she had learned to read him like the back of her hand, and when his whole body whispered to her…

'He can hurt me without even trying.'

Matsuri closed her eyes, trying to stop for a moment that barrage of sadness, but now it had spread and clogged the very air she breathed. When she opened them again, Gaara's green eyes were back on her, and since they had always been the most expressive of his features, she felt her throat tighten at what she could see in them.

"Matsuri… please. I wish to be alone, now."

She nodded, and picked up the tea set. At the door she paused to look back at him. Outside the windows, the sky has clouded over and the shadows in the room had lengthened, engulfing the Kazekage in a pool of darkness, dulling the vibrant colour of his hair and the angles of his body. From where she was Matsuri could no longer read the expression of his visage or his bearing. But she no longer needed those clues to figure him out.

Lonely.

Lost.

She closed the door, leaving him in the darkness of his room, and his thoughts.

NaruGaaNaruGaaNaruGaaOMGGaaNaruGaaNaruGaaNaru

He waited, for what felt like an eternity, in the dark.

He hated that. The dark, and to wait. He had no trouble keeping his heartbeat steady and his chakra under control while breaking past the guards, but now that he had nothing to do but think of what he was *about* to do… he could feel it speeding up, menacing the hold he had on his chakra, as in the sombre and still athmosphere, consequences and repercussions suddenly were not just words, and if he fucked up…

To put it simply, he was a nervous wreck.

Finally, one very recognizable chakra drew nearer, followed closely by another –not Matsuri's. He heard voices and checked his henge one last time before the door opened.

Gaara strolled in his bedroom, a Chuunin aide in tow. The young woman deposited various papers and scrolls on a small desk near the door, bowed deeply and left.

The Kazekage lit one small lamp, not powerful enough to threaten Naruto's henge, took off his white and blue robes and started working on the buttons of his shirt.

The Hokage fretted slightly; he couldn't wait longer or else letting his presence known when Gaara was shirtless was going to be awkward, but he didn't feel ready and...

It happened too quickly for the eye. One moment he was watching his friend fingering the hem of his shirt, and the next he was trying to dodge a barrage of blows delivered by human and sand fists. He managed to block one of Gaara's hands by engulfing it in his own larger one, but a sand vine snaked round to tug at his ankle. Slightly unbalanced, he blocked the redhead's leg movement with his knee, but was unable to avoid or stop his left hand in which a kunai –jeez, but he was indeed pissed at him- had suddenly popped into existence. When he finally caught the other man's wrist, the cool blade was already pressing at his throat, signalling his defeat.

"If you have one reason that might prevent me from slicing you open, by all means let's hear it, Uzumaki."

And Naruto smiled. Sakura's advice rang through his mind: "be humble, be sorrowful", and he knew that the face he was showing his friend was anything but that, yet he couldn't help it.

Gaara was watching him with a scowl, but from him this was a look he was used to, and it felt wonderful, after all those days of being offered nothing but the blank, guarded expression of a mere visiting dignitary. And, he was close –physically close- to Gaara again, and that too felt amazing, so he squeezed lightly the slender wrist and it pressed tighter against him because he had missed the other man, damnit, and now that he was there... what could he do but be happy and giddy and lean toward the redhead to whisper, his voice richer by the affection lacing it:

"Because it would be too slow a death to prevent me from blowing your stubborn head across the room, sand freak."

Gaara's pinched expression appeared to soften, lips loosening and becoming fuller while his eyes shone briefly at him in a way he both recognized and cherished.

Naruto's happiness soared as the huge weight he had carried on his heart lifted to be replaced by the urge to take the other man in his arms in a relieved bear-hug.

The redhead might have sensed this; he scowled and stalked away from the Hokage. Sitting on a small couch, he crossed his arms and delivered the full force of his angry glare to the blond.

But Naruto was not as peeved by it as he might have been just minutes earlier; he had seen, in that moment when Gaara has not been able to hide himself, that he was forgiven.

Everything was going to be alright. He couldn't have screwed things further and yet his best friend did not hate him for that. He took a deep breath, willing his strangely erratic heartbeat to calm down now.

He approached the Kazekage with caution. The little lamp projected a yellowish light that turned a golden hue on Gaara's skin, but failed to soften his features.

Naruto turned his eyes downward, away from the still intimidating face of his friend, trying to find an opening for his apologies, only to have his thoughts scatter abruptly when his gaze landed on his friend's chest –and Gaara had left his shirt unbuttoned.

The unexpected sight of this smooth chest and slightly toned abs sent his mind on a standstill, until the Kazekage's voice cut through his haze.

"Well? Did you want anything?"

His companion blinked and said the first thing that came to him.

"I'm sorry."

O-kay. So not the beginning he had envisioned, and if Gaara's derisive snort was any indication, even he had expected him to do better.

Naruto straightened. "I'm sorry." He repeated his voice firmly. He took a determined step forward and went to sit on the small couch next his friend. He flinched a bit inside when the Kazekage scooted away from him, materializing the wedge the last days had bought between them.

"Gaara... I truly am sorry. I was an ass there, and all the things I said to you... well, I'm dying inside, just to know I talked to you in such a way and... I didn't believe a word of it either and..."

He stopped upon realizing that he sounded gibberish. He absent-mindedly searched for his friend's hand, needing the contact to convey his remorse and sorrow or maybe to rebuild the connection between them, he did not even know. But as soon as his fingers touched the redhead's, the other snatched them away, and the sudden tightness in his throat did not help to ease his speech.

"Please, Gaara." He pleaded, leaning as much as he dared toward his friend. "I guess I was... really angry at you for not telling me about... your love life. It came as huge shock and I did not take it well, seeing that there wasn't a thing I hid from you about mine..."

Gaara 'Hn-ed' at this, a short and scathing sound. "From me or anyone else, really", came the derisive comment.

"Well, yeah." Naruto said, now ashamed for some reason. His eyes fell one more time on his friend's bare chest, but this time Gaara caught his stare; sitting a bit straighter, he quickly started to close his shirt, face a bit embarrassed and missing a few buttons in his haste.

That gesture of modesty strangely ignited the first spark of anger in the Hokage's heart. He bit his lips and turned his face away, willing his blood to cool down. Ever since Gaara had set foot in his suite, he had felt jumpy and restless, like his own skin was too tight for him and with too many nerve endings, a sensation that was only growing; there was no need to add fuel to the fire.

"You don't get it, do you?" This was from Gaara. The young man had crossed his arms and was looking away, eyes shadowed by his blood-red bangs.

"Get what?" Naruto murmured, and at this Gaara turned back his head.

"The impact your words had on me. What *you* are to me. Naruto... why do you think I became the Kazekage?"

"To prove your worth, so people would acknowledge you, and need you, through that." The Hokage answered without hesitation.

"No. I did it because you thought that being Hokage was the way to make other people need you, and acknowledge you, thus validating your existence. I only took your word for it, because I wanted to change the path that led me to loneliness and, well, madness. "

Gaara smiled bittersweetly. "But the truth is, I had no clue. After the Chuunin exams, I analysed every little encounter we had, every word you said, trying to understand how you did it –trying to understand you. And then every time I had to face an important decision, everytime I was hesitant, do you know what I was asking myself?"

The Hokage shook his head.

"What would Naruto do?"

Naruto flushed and squirmed a bit on his seat. Braggart he may act as, but the small, neglected child in him still had a hard time believing that anyone could take his words so seriously, that he mattered enough to leave such an impact on someone's life.

Gaara continued, merciless in his praise.

"You were my role model. Of course, I've grown a bit on my own and now I understand that I can't be totally like you in every aspect but," yet again that small, sad smile. "I still look up to your words."

Naruto bit his lip. All his previous relief had dissipated, and it seemed like his heart had turned to lead in his chest. He was starting to see where all of this was leading.

"And now try to understand how I felt, when that man, whom I still admire so much, whom I always felt was the one who could understand me the most, suddenly yelled at me and insulted me and treated me like the biggest freak in the universe?"

Naruto dropped his head in his hand, in a fruitless attempt to shut out the world and the words that were drilling a hole through his heart. He felt lower than a worm: Gaara had bared his heart to him, in a calm voice that bore no trace of anger and in a way that was worse than when he had shouted at him, eyes ablaze with fury. There was no anger, no vindicative wrath, and no other emotion left for him to hide behind, nothing to shelter him from the painful truth.

He waited a moment for the burning feeling in the back of his throat and behind his eyelids to recede before lowering his hands. Gaara was watching him intently, green irises glinting in the dim light.

"I..." Naruto cleared his throat, but his voice was still hoarse when he started again. "Gaara... what I said to you back then, it was just me being angry and hurt and wanting you to hurt too... I swear to the Gods, I never, ever thought less of you because of ... that, and I never, ever thought of stopping being your friend. You are precious to me, Gaara."

The other smiled, and and if there was still a hint of sadness lingering in the curve of his mouth, warmth was lightening his eyes. "Then, it's enough for me. You don't have to apologize any further."

"No!" Naruto leaned forward and grabbed the Kazekage's hand. He felt the redhead tug feebly but he abandonned when the Hokage clasped both his hands over his before bringing it to his chest. The movement brought them close; very close, which was what Naruto wanted. He wanted Gaara to look at him and see the absolute truth of his words.

"Gaara..." his friend's eyes were on him, a bit wary. "Right now, what you said... I need to tell you something too, before I lose my guts."

He took a deep, calming breath, thinking that it was maybe not a bright idea to have the Kazekage's hand so close to his chest, where his heart was beating madly. He chased the thought away. He needed to concentrate and find the good words, for once.

"I want you to understand how much you mean to me."

Gaara became as still as the statues adorning his office in Suna, save for his lips that had fallen slightly open as a tiny bit of air rushed in.

"Ever since I met you, back when I was an even bigger idiot and you were that scary pint of a ninja, ready to crush the whole world, I felt that there was... something, some link between us. And then you tried to finish Lee off, and you told me your story and I understood why. We were the same; and when you tried to kill Sakura-chan and... Even then, I couldn't hate you. I don't think I could ever do that, because..."

He lowered his gaze from Gaara's intense one. It fell on their joined hands and he blinked; he had not realised he had laced his fingers with the Kazekage's.

"... Our paths are the same. We knew the same pain, born from loneliness and prejudice, and we had the same joy too, because we sought to ease them in a similar way. And, you know, just the fact that somewhere, out there, there's a person who can understand you completely, someone you can share everything with, it's... it's probably the greatest joy life can bring to anyone and I have that, thanks to you."

He squeezed lightly the limp hand in his. He smiled a bit and raised his eyes back to Gaara's face. His friend had still not moved an inch.

"Even if sometimes I suddenly realise that you're stuck there on your huge sandpit miles away from me and then I'd think, shit, I miss him, and it's painful but a good kind of pain because I know that I'm going to see you eventually, and that's enough to make me happy. No, happier than I was, 'cause I get to think about you."

At this Naruto faltered, a bit embarrassed and cheeks flaring in response as he fighted the desire to look away, but he continued.

"And I'd think about you and all those little things that are you. The way you keep on smartassing about some things like you swallowed the whole freakin' encyclopedia, the way you can get everyone to do what you want without using threats, and how you act all cool and collected but bitch like a girl when it rains..."

He smiled widely at his friend. Gaara blinked a couple of times, not unlike someone dazzled by a too-bright sun.

"...and yeah, I guess, that's why I like you too, not only because all those things we have in common. On your own, you're smart, you're funny –if evil- and with just enough quirks that you're not completely insufferable. And all of that makes you my most precious person here. I love you, Gaara."

The redhead's eyes widened slightly. Naruto grinned his usual, happy smile and finished. "Just like the brother I never had."

There was a moment of silence. Naruto could feel his own heartbeat, still powerful but somewhat calmed down by the speech he had given. He had said what he needed to say, and for one short moment, he felt a bit more at peace.

But...

...the silence stretched. The Hokage felt prinpickles of fear as his friend sat unmoving and unresponsive before him. Gaara's face was blank and not so much unreadable as empty. The small hand in his was cool again, but seemed to weight more.

Then Gaara blinked, and said, in a small voice: "Brother?" Naruto nodded hesitantly, and then suddenly there was no more Gaara or cool hands to hold onto.

Naruto blinked toward the place were the Kazekage was, already a few feet from him. His back was turned, and his right hand was now trailing on a nearby desk, as if searching for support.

"Well," Gaara's voice was low, and slightly quavering. "We're growing slightly sentimental tonight, aren't we Naruto?" He cleared his throat. "But thanks."

The Hokage gave his friend –who couldn't see it, since he was not looking at him- a tight smile. He did not know what to feel. He hadn't know what to expect either when he had decided to respond to Gaara's words –to show him how much of a special place he had in his heart too- but it certainly was not more distance.

Gaara finally turned and offered him a smile that was probably as joyous as the one Naruto had given just now.

"It has been a rough day, and evening. I'd like to call it short for tonight. I'll try to see you tomorrow, before we're done with the packing, right?"

Naruto rose from the couch. He was very tempted to seize the offer; his day too had been long, he was hoping that after a night of sleep things would stop being so weird between him and Gaara. But most of all, he was afraid to do or say something that would irredeemably damage the too-fragile truce between them.

But what made him decide against that was an even more frightening possiblility. That maybe Gaara was not done being strange. That this unbelievable estrangement was there to stay. That there would be, from now on, always a distance, which would grow to be the normal state of things as time went by without Naruto having the balls to confront it, till they would downgrade from being best friends to simple acquaintances.

He stood there as a cold, desperate feeling seeped inside him. Gaara was still facing away, his back slightly curved, the bumps of vertaebre clearly visible under his thin shirt. Looking at him, so familiar yet so completely uncomprehensible now, a wave of pure longing went through him. Without thinking, he came close to his friend in two steps and put his hand on his shoulder.

Gaara whipped round, visibly startled, but Naruto didn't release the hold he had of him. Blue eyes searched through the depth of green ones, intent on deciphering them before they had the time to hide again.

"I won't go," he said. "Before you tell me what's wrong. And I know there's something wrong."

The Kazekage was pushing at his chest but just like earlier, his movement seemed to lack strength. His eyes were wide and afraid but locked with Naruto's, apparently unable to look away. He was shaking his head as if in denial, though the Hokage wasn't sure it was in answer to his question.

"Is it me? Is it something I said?"

No, no, the redhead feebly shook and quivering, pale lips moved to whisper "It's not you."

It was the fear that he could see in the green eyes that set Naruto on edge. It shouldn't be there when Gaara was looking at him. It shouldn't fucking be there!

"The hell it isn't! You dismiss me like I'm nothing, you won't talk to me, won't bloody answer me and you look at me like I'm about to eat you! What the fuck did I do to you, sand freak?"

Gaara's face twisted and he finally found the strength to send a good shove, making the Hokage tumble a few steps backward. "Apart from being a clingy jerk and a nosy idiot? Nothing at all, Uzumaki!"

The sting of rejection, coupled with too many brush offs from the Kazekage each time he had tried to enable some physical contact that night, made Naruto snarl back: "So what? Now that you have a nice fuck buddy, I'm not allowed to touch and talk to you anymore? Should I have gone for your pants first?"

Dread engulfed him as soon as the words left his lips to reverberate loudly in the air and his brain. He immediately started talking again, hoping to erase their frightening echo.

"Gaara, I'm sorry, I was out of line again, but I'm... I'm... I really don't know what to tell you anymore."

The Kazekage was very still save for his hands that had balled into fists, clenching and unclenching at his sides. His eyes were no longer afraid or lifeless and burned with such intensity that Naruto shrank a little inside.

"If you can't open your mouth without insulting me, I recommend that you fucking abstain, Naruto." His body had started trembling again, out of anger or something else. He turned his face away from the Hokage's: "And to think, it's not even more when you're a jerk that you hurt me the more." His mouth twisted in a bitter line.

Naruto pressed the heel of his palms against his eyes, willing the incomprehension to end, willing it all to end and things to go back the way they were; and most of all willing his best friend back at his side again and giving that quiet, heartening smile at him.

It's not you, Gaara had said. It didn't make sense.

"Fuck, Gaara, why? Why does everything I do, or say, make you angry? Why do I feel like you hate my guts? Is that revenge?" He advanced on his friend.

The fear and helplessness were back in Gaara's eyes. His hands flew up to each sides of the desk he was leaning on, like startled birds. In two steps Naruto was back at his side and using all the power he near-consciously knew he had on the other man to say,

"Tell me." He looked at the green irises, the pale skin and trembling mouth and whispered, his tone half a demand, half an endearment, "Gaara".

"I can't." The words were rushed, the eyes imploring. Leave it, they said. Please, don't force me.

"Why?" Naruto managed to squeeze all his pain and disbelief in one word. "Don't you trust me?"

"Because I can't!" Gaara exploded suddenly. "Even Temari, and Matsuri, I never was able to tell them even if I know they know!" Darkened eyelids tightened briefly, before all the tension seemed to fall out of him. Green irises were now sad and defeated.

"You have no idea..." Gaara continued in a rough, low voice while his hands trailed up the Hokage's chest to fist his shirt. "How much I don't hate you... and how little I trust myself."

"All these years..." Gaara's face was coming closer to his despite their difference in height, as if he was rising on his toes. Naruto paid it no mind, enthralled as he was by his gaze, so intense and full of longing. He raised hands that felt like they were eons away to rest them on his friend's.

"I've been silent for so long... and my village needs it, and now the world is looking at us, but you're here demanding and I can't find the strength to pretend anymore." Gaara was so close, his breath was tickling Naruto's chin. His hands flattened once more and traveled up to the Hokage's face, caressing his cheeks, ghosting over the whisker marks and his blond hair.

Naruto could not think. His nose was too full of Gaara's spicy scent, his sight overloaded with the burning eyes and the fiery hair, and his being ruled by the warm breath and body leaning closer and closer.

His body recognized the gesture, and positioned itself. His hands, apparently still having a mind of their own, started moving up to his friend's shoulders.

But Gaara was stepping back, fingers trailing on his skin as if reluctant to leave. Hesitant digits brushed his lips before closing in a fist and falling back at his side. His face was pale, the yellow shade from the lamp providing the only colour on his skin and the only light in his eyes.

"All these years... and even for this, I don't have any strength left."

With those parting words, the Kazekage disappeared in a swirl of sand, leaving Naruto frozen in the middle of the room, his hands still raised in an aborted motion that could have been meant either to reject, or to embrace.

TBC

The biggest obstacle is out of the way… or is it, really ?

Warning : next chapter, the rating will finally up to M . Yes, there's going to be a sex scene. But don't expect... well, don't expect. (but yes, it's going to be a NaruGaa sex scene)

Next! Inner Obstacle, chapter 5!

(Yes, I'm sorry for all of you who were expecting a chapter for 'Lessons in Seduction', this story is on hold until I'm done with IO. Only two chapters to go and I swear I'm not going to make you wait as long)

9,000 words. Quite a bit of effort and time were spent on this chapter. don't forget to REVIEW! That's the only thing I ask for in exchange.