Welcome to Obsessed.with.writing and emoTWiLiGHT's Random Crazies! These events are actual. No dramatization has been added. It all happened how it is told here. Believe it or not, this is REALITY FANFICTION: Volume One. No copyright infringement intended.

P.S. We don't own Twilight, we're just lucky to be characters in it!!

Ashleigh: Obsessed.with.writing
Kadalea: emoTWiLiGHT

…Written June 10th, idk the time…
But yay to Ashleigh for copying this chapter out of the depths of the hole it was hidden in. xD

-Ashleigh suggests that she and Kadalea should talk in their super-secret way.-

Kadalea: oo what 'super-secret thing? this?

Ashleigh: Yes this! What else would it be? Flying flipping monkeys?!

Kadalea: O. Sorry for being stupid! Gosh! I'm such a burden to you! -bursts out sobbing-

Ashleigh: CRAP CRAP CRAP I'm sorry I didn't mean it! -Breaks down crying then reaches for a gun- Wait, since when do I have a gun?

-still crying- Yes. Yes you did. You meant it! You hate me! -sobs-
-regains composure-
If you hate me so much... why don't I just end it..
-snatches gun out of Ashleigh's hand-
This is because of you.

-The SWAT team comes- It's ok Kadalea, just put the gun down.
-Ashleigh cries in the corner- I don't want her to die! It's all my fault! -Bangs head off wall many times until her head is bleeding badly-

Kadalea: NO! I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU! -turns gun onto SWAT team- -pulls trigger- -pulls trigger again- o.0 what the frak?! Nothing's happening!! Ashleigh, you gave me a broken gun! -throws gun aginst wall and cries-

-Ashleigh hit her head too hard and is now up dancing and singing- She's into superstitions, black cats and voodoo dolls.

-Kadalea thinks Ashleigh has gone crazy- -backs away slowly-

-Kellan Lutz and Emmett Cullen join in Ashleigh's little dance- She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain, she'll make you live her crazy life but she'll take away your pain, like a bullet to your brain Come on!

-Kadalea stops backing away when she sees Kellan. She runs towards them and skids to a stop right in front of him.-
I'LL DANCE! I'LL BE CRAZY! YAY!

-Ashleigh laughs, then realises… Kellan, Emmett and Ashleigh all together- Hey! I'm not crazy!

Kellan: o.0 You're not crazy? Pshh, I'll go hang out with Kadalea!
Emmett: Right with you, dude!
-Kadalea laughs at Ashleigh and sticks out her tongue-

-Tears well up in Ashleigh's eyes- Fine, I'll just go. -Bows her head and sulks off into the distance while sad music plays-

Kadalea: KELLAN! EMMETT! LOOK WHAT YOU DID! YOU MADE ASHLEIGH SAD!! I HATE YOU!
-stomps away from Kellan and Emmett- Stupid heartbreaking vampire-actors.

-Ashleigh is found in a vampire club surrounded by Edward and Robert and Kristen and everyone else besides Kellan and Emmett while dancing to Misery Business LIVE with PARAMORE in the club-

-Kadalea sits at home, listening to sad music and crying depressingly because she wasn't invited to the vampire club with Edward and the others and paramore.-

-Ashleigh knocks on Kadalea's bedroom door- You stole Kellan and Emmett from me, I didn't think you'd leave them, you can come to the party thing if you want. -Ashleigh is feeling guilty and already has her razors out, waiting for Kadalea to tell her that she hates Ashleigh-

-Kadalea knocks the razors out of Ashleigh's hands.- I don't hate you! I thought you hated me! ... yeah ok let's skip past this tearful reunion and just go SEE ROBERT AND EDWARD IN THE VAMPIRE CLUB! -squeals-

Ashleigh: But now I feel bad about Kellan and Emmett, they're probably standing randomly on a road looking upset because they have nowhere to go -Ashleigh grabs the razor and about to cut her wrists-

-Kellan, Emmett, and Kadalea scream together- NO!
-Kadalea reaches for Ashleigh's wrist, but Ashleigh is suddenly knocked to the ground by Kellan. The razor flies through the air. Emmett is nowhere to be seen-

-Ashleigh blushes Bella style and looks at Kellan- Hi -She reaches for her razor and puts it in her pocket-

-Kellan realises he's still on top of Ashleigh- Sorry. -Gets off, blushes redder than Ashleigh and Bella combined-
-Kadalea runs to find Emmett and convince him that there is no blood-

-Ashleigh giggles like a fang girl- It's ok -giggles again- Thanks for, stopping me from cutting myself, I swear I don't have a problem.

-Kellan grins- You better not. I'd hate to see such a pretty girl like yourself with scars all over her arms. -gives Ashleigh the Dazzle-
-Kadalea is only slightly jealous, but she is reminded that Edward is at the vampire club and is now impatient to go there-

-Ashleigh squeals and goes hyper- Who gave me water?

-Kellan looks confused- Water?

Ashleigh: -Looks at Kadalea- Kads, do you want to explain? I'm still hyper and I want to run around for a bit.

Kadalea: ok Kellan... Water makes Ashleigh hyper. like, when she drinks it, she just gets all sugar high or whatever. It's insane. It just makes her so unbelievably hyper. All the time. It makes her hyper all the time. And then she starts laughing uncontrollably, and screaming like an idiot. Yeah, water is like a drug to Ashleigh. She's not addicted, I don't think, but it just affects how she acts. So now I've gone and confused myself by explaining it to you. Stupid lush-eyed actor.

-Ashleigh runs around in a circle- Wheeee!

-Kellan looks at Ashleigh, not sure if she's just hyper of if she truly is crazy-
Kadalea: COME ON! I WANT TO GO TO THE VAMPIRE CLUB AND SEE EDWARD!

Ashleigh: -Grabs Kadalea and throws her over her shoulder giving her a piggie back all the way to the party while humming the Indiana Jones theme-

-Kellan and Emmett follow Ashleigh, laughing at the bewildered Kadalea-

Ashleigh: -Gets to the club and begins dancing because she's got way to much energy, Paramore start playing Whoa!- I love this song! We've got everybody singing Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! And we've got everybody singing Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

-Kadalea ignores her favourite paramore songs, heading straight for Edward Cullen. Bella is not there. Kadalea grins and walks up to Edward, attempting to Dazzle him, but is knocked speechless when she sees him-

-Ashleigh is doing cartwheels at this moment, then she sees Kellan Lutz again and she faints-

-Kadalea hasn't even noticed Ashleigh. She stopped breathing the second she saw Edward Cullen... and that was 84 seconds ago.-

Edward: Breathe, -He chuckles, Ashleigh is still unconscious on the floor-

Kadalea: OMG EDWARD CULLEN TALKED TO ME! -hyperventilates and passes out, joining the unconscious Ashleigh on the floor-

-Ashleigh wakes up and screams goes crazy then takes the razor blade to her arm and starts cutting again, which is a bad idea in a room full of vampires-

-Kadalea looks at Ashleigh like she's an idiot-
Holy frak. why would you just randomly wake up and start cutting yourself?! and in a room full of vampires, no less! Maybe I should have sent you to a mental house.
-all vampires in the club stopped and blinked, turning to Ashleigh with obvious bloodlust in their eyes-

Ashleigh: -Looks at the vampires- Meh, you wouldn't like my blood, it tastes like crap, I know, I've tried it

Kadalea: o.0 You've tasted your blood?
-Emmett snickers. Kellan punches Emmett for being mean to Ashleigh-

Ashleigh: I couldn't help that my mouth started to randomly bleed when I was in Primary school! -Bows head and walks out of the room-

-Kellan follows and asks if Ashleigh wants to rejoin the party-

-Ashleigh giggles like a idiot- No there are vampires in there and They vant to sauk my blood! -Ashleigh pretends to be Dracula by baring her teeth-

-Kellan smiles at Ashleigh's cute impersonation of Dracula-
ok. we'll stay out here then. What do you want to do? -Kellan sits on the ground next to Ashleigh, his amazingly hot dimples showing as he smiles slightly-

-Stupid Kadalea interrupts Ashleigh and Kellan.-
Good thing the only vampires were the Cullens, and they recently fed. What were you thinking, Ashleigh?! -sees Kellan-
Oh. I'll leave.
-walks away to find Edward-

-Ashleigh faints into Kellan's arms-

-Kellan is slightly alarmed that Ashleighas fainted again, but content that she fainted into his arms.-

-Ashleigh wake up confused and sees Kadalea walking away- Kads where are you going?

-Kads grins impishly- I don't think Kellan wanted me to intrude upon you two just yet... -giggles and runs-

Ashleigh: -Looks up at Kellan and blushes scarlet- Sorry about that. -Stands up and brushes herself off- I really didn't mean to do that, you want to go back inside? -Kellan nods and walks inside with Ashleigh-

-Kellan and Ashleigh walk in to see Kads surrounded by everyone. Suddenly they all stop talking and turn.- Oh! -everyone says at the same time-

-Ashleigh looks at everyone confused- Oh? Couldn't think of a better word? What does oh mean? Did you guys break something?

-Alice smirks- Not oh. Ooh! Ooh. As in... ooh. -blinks, confused-

-Kellan looks at Alice confused- Kellan: Ok, so ooh is good? -He turns to Ashleigh- Do you understand any of this? -Ashleigh shakes her head-
Ashleigh: Not a clue

-Alice sighs, exasperated- Just forget about it. -Edward looks at her, reading her thoughts. He smiles. Kadalea is once again Dazzled.-

-Ashleigh rolls her eyes, she spies a pitcher of water and slyly tries to sneak towards it-

Kadalea: Did you just roll your eyes at me?! IT'S NOT MY FAULT EDWARD CAN DAZZLE ME SO EASILY!! GOSH!! YOU GET JUST AS DAZLLED AROUND KELLAN!! YOU SHOULD BE THANKING ME THAT I'VE NOT YET TOLD HIM WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT HIM TO ME THROUGH PM'S ON FANFICTION! -stops yelling. blinks. realises what she said.-
oops.
-Kellan, who was on his way to stop Ashleigh from drinking water, stopped in his tracks to listen to Kadalea... and he's now staring at Ashleigh, wondering what Kadalea was talking abuot...-

-Tears brim Ashleigh's eyes as she runs to the bathroom and locks herself in a stall, getting out her razor-

NO! -Kadalea races to the bathroom and apologises to Ashleigh. Suddenly, Kadalea stops speaking. Then Ashleigh hears another voice.-
Kellan: Ashleigh! No! Please don't do it!
Kadalea: Kellan, wtc are you doing in the womens bathroom?!
Kellan: -stutters- Oh.. Um. I.. uh.. Wh? Oops. -Kellan runs out of bathroom, embarrassed. He hadn't realised that it was the womens bathroom, he just wanted to stop Ashleigh from cutting herself and tell her it didn't matter what Kadalea said cause he loved her.-

-Ashleigh has already slit her wrists and blood is oozing out and she is going to Writer heaven again-

-Kadalea runs, grabs Kellan, and pulls him back into the bathroom. He races to Ashleigh's side and attempts to stop the bleeding. After a minute, it still hasn't worked. Kellan breaks down crying and gives Ashleigh a kiss before cutting himself, as well.-

-Carlisle jumps into the bathroom- Carlisle: Never fear! Carlisle the amazing doctor is here! -Carlisle helps Ashleigh and Kellan before moonwalking off in a Superman costume- Carlisle: Oh yeah, I went there!

-Kadalea is dumbfounded as she watches Carlisle. After he leaves, she bursts into fits of laughter, embarrassing the crap out of herself with all the odd squeaking she's doing in an attempt to get her breathing back.-

-Ashleigh shakes her head when she sees Carlisle moon walk out-
Ashleigh: That might be THE single scariest thing I've seen in my life. -Thinks- Ashleigh: Wait, no, that was when Toni pulled Peter's towel down on the Year 10 german trip -Shudders-

Kadalea: I agree. It was really funny... but... just... OW!
-Ashleigh says the part about the towel-
-Kadalea screams- o what the frak!

-Ashleigh holds her hands up in defense-
Ashleigh: I didn't see anything I swear! Oh and the girl who I was talking to about Jacob wants to be in this story but I told her no because she wanted to kill Jacob and I said she wasn't allowed to and then she called you quote stupis unquote and then she called Jacob Hitler. -Jacob walks in looking upset-
Jacob: Why do people have to be so mean to me? -He runs away crying-

Kadalea: AMEN TO THAT! -laughs-
Oh, so you told that girl about out story? And what, she called ME stupid? ...stupis... whatever... -laughs- Why?

Kadalea: Ohh don't worry Jacob, I haven't forgotten you! We don't LET people be mean to you, they just are. I think they're upset that you love Bella. Because they love the lexy Edward and want him and Bella to be together. Officially, I feel the same way. But if you were to take Bella from Edward and let me have Edward, I wouldn't mind. -smiles-

-Ashleigh rolls her eyes-
Ashleigh: Jacob I like you. But I don't think anyone expects Bella to choose anyone over Edward, so you really need to go and imprint on someone else.

Jacob: Why are you always telling me to go imprint on someone!? I don't want to imprint on anyone! I want Bella! -runs away, sobbing-

Ashleigh: -Looks confused then sighs- He's going to imprint one day and when someone mentions Bella he'll be like 'Bella who?'

Kadalea: -Smiles-
That's true. That's very true.
-Jacob yells from a distance- NO IT'S NOT! -sobs break out again-
-Kadalea rolls her eyes-
Sometimes I wish Bella would choose Jacob. So I could have Edward... But know he would never want anyone other than Bella. Could be why I cry myself to sleep. -shrugs- I don't know.

-Ashleigh stands up and goes back into the big dance hall thing where she sits in the corner and thinks-

-Kadalea is bored now that Ashleigh has gone off to think. Kadalea walks over to the stage where paramore is playing and is insanely happy as the screamo to 'my heart' comes on-

-Ashleigh explained that she was too depressed to finish this off and ended the scene here-

Kadalea: -sets out on a mission to cheer Ashleigh up-

Wow. This was our longest chapter ever. AND THE BEST in my opinion.
Sigh… moonwalking Carlisle dressed as Superman….. LOL.

Please review! Hope this chapter wasn't confusing. Lol.

And this is Ashleigh to say it's my favourite chapter too just utterly insane.