Before You Enter the Maze…

Disclaimer – Gensomaden Saiyuki belongs solely to Minekura Kazuya and whoever else shares its legal rights. This story was written without permission; my only purpose is to pay tribute and entertain other fans. No profit has been made, or will ever be made, with it.

The poem The Silent Scream belongs solely to Nightdweller.

Warning – For homosexual themes, foul language, sexual harassment, racial bigotry (human vs. youkai), and violence. If any of the above offends or disturbs you, be mature and hit your back button instead of hitting me. My concern with your sensibilities ends where my freedom of speech begins.

Author's Note – The hero's mythic journey has a somber version: the nekyia—from the Greek vekuia (vekus, corpse), after the eleventh chant of Homer's Odyssey. It describes a descent into darkness, a plunge into the unconscious, a peregrination through Death's realm. The Maze is the first installment of a trilogy that follows this premise.

My deepest, sincerest thanks to my betas Willow and Procyon, and a special bow to dear Softwelshrain, who helped me with this final version.

The Maze

Bound by a never-ending nightmare,

I find myself encaged within a maze of madness

Desperately seeking an out.

But search as I may,

Wander as I would,

Every path chosen

Becomes a mere extension of another,

And every turn taken

Becomes another dead end.

Quickly entangled in the web of passages,

I become

A player in a game without finish,

A traveler on a journey without destination;

As I roam within the walls of the maze.

Nightdweller, The Silent Scream

Chapter 1

The merciless sun caused the air to shimmer as the travelers' jeep crossed the dying land. From his place in the back, Gojyo tried to focus his attention on Hakkai—on how Hakkai's soft touch on the steering wheel had become a white-knuckled grip—but his eyes kept darting towards the passenger seat with a confused mixture of guilt, hurt, and longing. Sanzo. Who had his face turned, pointedly shutting out the rest of them. And who, at times, perhaps as a way of releasing the pressure of his smoldering fury, would break the silence by drumming his fingers on his fan.

A sudden pain in his ankle made Gojyo glare at his seat companion. Sanzo's behavior was driving Goku mad and the saru fidgeted almost non-stop, his jerking feet sometimes hitting Gojyo with accidental but well-placed kicks. They stared at each other for a while, then Goku stuck his tongue out in defiance and started scratching his arms. Gojyo sighed and slouched in his corner, trying to stay as far away as possible from further flailing limbs. A drop of sweat slowly trickled down his neck to his chest, adding to the stain on his already soaked T-shirt. He wanted to drift off, to lose himself in a void where he could stop thinking and stop feeling, but each heartbeat sent a throbbing ache through his bad arm, denying him the escape.

Goku fidgeted some more, let out a gurgle, and finally voiced his discomfort: "I'm thirsty, Sanzo." The hot wind muffled the whine and threw it backwards, but it was still loud enough, and annoying enough, to cause trouble. Sanzo turned in his seat, fast as a snake and as ready to strike.

"What about a break, Sanzo? We could use a little rest."

Gojyo bit his lower lip. Yeah, and there it was. Good ol' Hakkai, attempting to buffer the imminent explosion and save them all from another delightful lesson, advanced level, on How Many Curses One Can Say in a Row.

Sanzo raised an eyebrow at Hakkai, who just shrugged and continued, "It's almost two o'clock and we have been pushing ourselves practically since dawn. We won't regain a week in a single day."

Gojyo could detect the familiar steel core under the polite tone. And the worry. This was not just an effort to defuse an unpleasant scene; whatever point Hakkai was trying to make, he would stand his ground.

"Keep driving," Sanzo growled. "We'll have a break when I say we'll have a break."

"Sanzo, we can't—"

"Do as I say."

Intent on the battle of wills taking place in the front seat, Gojyo could not, for a moment, figure out why the oppressive heat seemed to have increased. Then he noticed that the scrawny trees and shrubs that flanked the large road were not moving. Hakkai had brought the jeep to a stop.

"Despite his current appearance, Hakuryu is not a machine," Hakkai reasoned evenly. "None of us are."

Gojyo stilled completely. Oh gods. Hakkai was concerned, indeed. But not for Hakuryu. Though brutal, the forced advance was not bound to harm the dragon—healthy youkai could deal with harsher traveling conditions. Hakkai was concerned about him. The weak cripple. And Hakkai, being Hakkai, had already perceived that it was useless to appeal to Sanzo's sense of compassion by using Gojyo's name. Gojyo shook his head, not knowing whether he should be angry and tell his old friend to mind his own business, or whether he should feel gratitude. His arm…

"Right, I had forgotten," Sanzo growled and looked at Goku though it was clear that the words were intended for someone else. Gojyo winced. "Put the mighty youkai under a little stress and they fall apart. I should have brought along human girls; they would have been much tougher and I wouldn't have had to put up with as much bitching."

Goku squirmed, totally oblivious to the undercurrents of their impasse. "Uh, Hakkai—let's uh, let's do what Sanzo says, ne?" he proposed shyly, pushing his bangs out of his sweaty face. "Let's keep going and I… I will…"

"You will be quiet," Sanzo finished for him, fan poised threateningly midair. Goku seemed to grow smaller and spluttered an unintelligible agreement.

Gojyo unconsciously spread his legs, craving Sanzo's eyes on him. Holding him. Boring into him—even if they were to reveal only hatred and repugnance. At least his existence would be acknowledged in some way.

No such luck.

"Now, if we can dissolve this committee," Sanzo said darkly, turning to Hakkai, "let's keep moving."

Hakkai clasped his hands on his lap. "Sanzo, we all need some—"

"We?" Sanzo spat.

"It's not like the sun is going to set in fifteen minutes," Hakkai answered more forcefully. "And Gojyo—"

The reaction was immediate. Sanzo climbed out of the jeep and strode to the shade provided by the meager roadside vegetation. He flopped down on the dirt, face reddened, nostrils flaring, fingers burying themselves into the dry soil like a new type of root. After a surprised pause, a very anxious Goku went to hover near him, obviously desperate to be in his hero's good graces again.

"Gojyo?"

There were several layers in Hakkai's gentle whisper. Mainly it had implied 'How is your arm?'—the question that Hakkai had been asking him for the last ten days—though an impatient tinge of 'What the hell is happening?'had changed the usual friendly inflection. Not to mention other traces of Hakkainese, some too subtle and too complex to interpret.

"I'm okay," Gojyo mumbled as he grabbed their bag of supplies. "So…" Feigning nonchalance, he carefully maneuvered his long legs towards the ground. "Nice place for a picnic, don't you agree?"

"Yes," Hakkai murmured. "And what charming company."