A/N: Here's another Quogan angst piece. I've been itching for some, so I'm going to scratch this itch. Keep tissues nearby, because you WILL cry.
Disclaimer: No. Nope. Nada.
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Slipped Away
"The day you slipped away was the day I found it won't be the same…"
It was as if being out of her body. It was like watching, when she wasn't really there.
She was desensitized to everything, when she heard the sound of a glass beaker colliding with the hard laboratory floor. As a woman of science, she would be able to differentiate, and come to the conclusion that one of her test tubes, containing hydrogen sulphate had slipped from between her fingers. The fact of the matter was, that actually happened.
But now, as her breathing became quicker, and her heart sped up (it might have the adrenaline from her pancreas contributing to the whole situation), her brown eyes remained fixated to the television just to clarify that she was hard of hearing.
"The young victim in this fatal, and tragic crash is identified as Logan Reese, aged 18, son of Hollywood director and producer Malcolm Reese, and well-known painter Sheila Barone. The victim was driving up southbound returning to Pacific Coast Academy, when another driver which we now know was intoxicated at the time, swerved sharply, hitting the entire car head-on. It was with deep regret that we announce that Mr. Reese was pronounced dead on the scene. This is Kristi Lee reporting. Back to you, William…"
She would have told you that it was indeed the glass test tube that had broke, but when she turned around, and found Zoey standing there, she looked out of breath like she had run a marathon and her face was streaked with tears. The boys had just found out, and Zoey had to leave her disoriented boyfriend to come here.
"Quinn," Zoey said, her voice sounding broken because of her own grief.
Her heart didn't break, but it shattered when she broke down, sobbing painfully on the ground as her roommate encircled her arms around her.
Dehydration was the last thing on her mind.
"Shh, Quinn. It's okay…" Zoey soothed, even though she was having a lot of trouble believing that things would actually be the same after today.
--
Hey, dude. It's me, Chase.
Yesterday, we had a candlelit vigil for you. We all miss you, I can't even begin to describe how terrible that feeling is, but I don't like feeling that again. Michael and I refuse to get another roommate because it doesn't feel right. I spend many nights hoping that you were sleeping above me – talking and all.
I always hope that this is some awful nightmare that we're all having at the same time, and we'll be able to see you again. I've tried not to lash out at people, because of the condolences and the 'I'm sorry's'. Their intentions are probably good, but I don't want to hear it. I'm trying so hard not to break down when I see your bed the way you left it.
We haven't touched it, since.
Michael's a wreck, and our last Chase and Michael Show was last week.
Sorry. Chase and Michael Featuring Logan.
It felt wrong to do it without you, even though it was just me and Mike to begin with. Michael hasn't made one joke since then, either. Actually, he hasn't said a single word. Lisa's trying to be there and shake Michael from it, but she sang at your funeral, and it was beautiful, with a song her and Michael wrote for you.
Michael Barrett, the comedian, is actually genuinely depressed. Yeah, that Michael.
You had a giant ego, but you were my closest friend. I could trust you with my life, dude.
Zoey has been doing a lot of crying, and when we sat on the bleachers of the basketball court after the vigil, she went into another fresh round of tears. I remember why: it was when we were playing basketball when you guys met. She was with Nicole.
I'm trying to strong for her, but I don't know how long it'll be before I burn out.
Stacy Dillsen took it the hardest, Sure, she was obsessed with you, but she really did care for you even though you, even though it wasn't a crush sort of thing. She made a collage for you, complete with swabs, and she asked me to give it you, and tell you that she'd miss you a lot.
The rest I couldn't understand, because she was crying so hard. Her lisp is gone, so that's how bad it was. So, I'll just set it right here.
Dustin's in denial. And it's taking a toll on him, because now he's rebelling. I think he sort of, did look up to you in a twisted sort of way. But yeah, Dustin's in complete denial, and I don't think the reality will set in for him like it has for me. I realized this morning, when the dorm was actually bare, and quiet.
Even more with the new Silent Michael, I'm living with. Deep down, our Michael is in there.
James and I – it's to believe that I bonded with Zoey's ex, but I did – we've been doing a lot of guitar related stuff. Our band is on temporary hiatus (I really don't know if we have the motivation to get it started back up again). Can't have a band without the lead singer, right? Again, I'd hate myself if we actually continued since...you know...
Vince just wants to kill the guy that found it convenient to drink and drive at the same time, and kill him. I'm the most rational one right now, but honestly, I don't blame him for feeling that way. Hell, we all want to. He's just really angry that he lost his best friend.
Lola, what can I say about our drama queen?
She blames herself for what happened. I really don't see it, but she's just really blaming herself. Maybe that's how she copes with it. You never know what's going to happen next with her. She's coming with a list of things she did to actually make it look like it's her fault you're not here anymore.
"I want to take responsibility so you guys don't have to be sad about it anymore. So, there. It's my fault, okay?"
Our top priority right now is comforting your grieving girlfriend.
Quinn used to be so full of energy, and even though it was hard for me to see as you a couple, you guys were happy. I knew that look in your eyes, and the way your face would just instantly light up when she saw you. I have that with Zoey, and that's where we connect. Get it?
Because we both had someone we need as much as oxygen.
And without oxygen…
She misses you so badly, and Zoey tells me she sleeps in your football jersey every night. You and her scientific stuff were the things that made her who she was. You made her happy, and you looked in love. I never thought I'd see it. I thought I saw it when you and Dana dated for a little bit after that beach party, but I was wrong.
Speaking of whom, is coming down tomorrow morning. I called her, and told her. The first thing she did she was laugh, and then when she realized it was true, and told me she had to go buy a ticket, but not before asking frantically if everyone was okay. When she hung up, she sounded like she was actually going to cry. The dating thing didn't swing, but like Stacey, Dana cared about you, man.
Nicole will be here from Kansas, the day after next for that school memorial Dean Rivers let us have for you. We just had to get the old group back together. Know what I mean?
Me, you, Zoey, Michael, Nicole, Dana and Quinn. No offence to Lola or anything.
Quinn brought the best out in you. And you in her.
She stopped inventing. She tried to clone you, but it wasn't going to be the real thing. Her time machine is in its planning stages and she's pretty much given up.
It's not like Quinn to give up on life, in general, but I think she has.
"He didn't break it. He simply took my heart along with him…"
The day you left us, it hasn't been the same. We have to sit at our usual table every morning, and look at that empty space in between Quinn and Vince, every morning, then our appetites die too.
I owe my relationship with Zoey to you. If you hadn't pissed me off enough to realize that I did love her, and was just using Gretchen to fill that Zoey-related void, I don't know what would have happened. A whole lot of ugliness.
Thanks for being a good friend.
You might not have shown it, but I never doubted that you had my back, so thanks.
--
Chase sighed, patting the tombstone gently, "Rest in peace, Logan…"
The breeze ruffled his hair, as he jammed his hands in his pockets and kept his green eyes trained on his Converse clad feet. He would have objected to the clear tears, slightly clouding his vision but he didn't mind.
Not this mine.
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A/N: Okay, so it's Quogan with implied DL, but it's in Chase's POV. Get it? Hope you like. Make sure to review. I like to hear what you guys think.
-Erika