Little Slip, Big Revelation

Prequel to Goodbye, Blissful Ignorance

AN: I'm writing these out of order. Sorry. Hope you enjoy it all the same. Please review!

Disclaimer: You know the drill. I don't own them (yet, muahaha) and I don't intend any malice.

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To tell you the truth, I don't know how long I've been in love with Catherine Willows. And it wasn't some big revelation; there was no defining moment where I fell. I just sort of woke up one day and thought it and it was the most natural thing in the world. Almost as if it's been a universal truth for all of time.

I could probably sit here and tell you all the reasons, but that isn't going to do me any good. Anyone who has seen her knows how gorgeous she is, and while that isn't why I love her, I certainly enjoy it. I think the main reason is because she is so strong. She can take anything. I admire her for that. I wonder how she does it. I mean, I know she has her times when she snaps, like when Lindsey is involved, but even then, control is easy to regain for her.

In the beginning, there were so many fights. She didn't like me at all. I wish I knew why. The funny part is, every fight left me feeling a little exhilarated. I almost liked them. All that passion directed at me. Now, I know that she ignored me all other times, but I think that's just another reason I liked fighting with her.

Then it stopped.

At first I was sad. I found myself seeking the arguments, but she wouldn't take the bait. I became frustrated until I saw that her death glares were softening and she was, dare I think it, smiling at me. I wonder what changed.

Since then, we haven't exactly become friends, but there seems to be a mutual respect thing that has grown. I'll take what I can get.

A cough pulls me out of my introspection and I look up to see Warrick joining me in the locker room. He smiles courteously and finds a seat. I glance at my watch and see that shift officially ended five minutes ago.

Catherine walks in just after him, and I get up. I have no desire for her to see me like this. I haven't even been home in two days. My appearance is, no doubt, lacking. As I walk past her, she gives me a smile. It's a sincere one, and it makes my stomach flip.

I feel her eyes linger on my back as I make my way to the bathroom. I open the door and walk over to the mirror. Big mistake. There are dark circles under my eyes and my hair looks as if I haven't showered in days. Come to think of it, I'm not sure when my last shower was. I splash water on my face, and surprisingly, it helps.

Just suck in air, Sara. That's it. In with fresh air, out with thoughts of Catherine naked in the layout room.

I just had to let that snake in, didn't I? You have no idea how many times we've been standing there, shoulder to shoulder, in that tiny room and all I want is to throw her on the table and have my way with her.

Catherine. I solely intend her name as a thought, but it mingles in with my exhalation and I hear it in the air; a moan. That wasn't supposed to happen. Well, not here. I'm quite used to it happening elsewhere. Namely in the safety of my own bedroom. All the same, I smile, flick my eyes closed, and put my hand on my neck.

I really need sleep.

I make a vow to get some rest when I get home and slowly open my eyes.

Oh my god.

Through the mirror, I see her standing there, shock on her face. Shit. I must have missed the sound of her entrance in the midst of my heavy breathing. I try and make a noise, force a word, something to break the thick silence.

It isn't until my third try that I manage to say her name again. Wasn't so easy that time, was it?

"I, uh, came in here to see if you were okay," she responds and in any other situation I would have taken time to think about the kindness in that action. However, the reality of the present is too much to allow for such things.

"I'm… uh… Catherine?" I have no idea what to say. Jesus, this is awkward. And after all that progress. Fight or flight, fight or flight? Flight. I head straight for the door. I am terrified that staying in this room any longer will ruin anything that I have managed to build with Catherine so far. Even if all that consists of is a lack of hatred.

I am nearly to the door when I feel a cool hand clasp my wrist.

Before I even know what is happening she spins me and her lips are on mine. In the suddenness of it all, I fail to respond whatsoever. I feel like a deer in headlights; my eyes are startlingly wide and my lips are pinched shut. A couple of seconds pass and it sinks in. I'm kissing Catherine Willows. I finally relax enough to let my eyes flutter closed and I feel her tongue run along my bottom lip. I open my mouth immediately.

God, her lips are soft. I knew they would be, as I have pictured this very moment an innumerable amount of times before. I let my left hand cup her cheek and I feel her hand press into the small of my back, pushing our bodies further together. I can't believe how tight my stomach is.

All of a sudden, I want all of her. I want to feel every inch of her body under my fingertips. I can't decide where I want to touch her first; there are so many choices. My hand finds her waist. The curve is irresistible and I can help but run my fingertips up and down, tracing her shape. My bottom lip gets pulled into her mouth and I moan. I can feel her smile against my lips; she's enjoying what she's doing to me.

The desire to feel her skin overcomes me and my hand on her waist slips beneath her shirt.

I hear something, someone clearing her throat, and I break away from Catherine. In the doorway, looking completely uncomfortable, is one of the girls from days. She mumbles something that I assume is "excuse me" and pushes past us, into a stall.

I look at Catherine, and she drags her eyes away from the stall that the woman just disappeared into to meet mine.

Everything rushes to my head at once. Oh my god, I was kissing Catherine. Catherine kissed me. And before I have time to sort anything out, she's gone. I want nothing more than to continue what she started, but I'll have to settle for the burn she's left on my lips.

My drive home is long and I cannot wait to walk in my front door. When I get home, I sit. There's nothing else I can think to do to keep myself from doing something, what, stupid? Rash? I'm not sure. I just need to sit.

I don't want to be the woman who sits and analyzes everything, but, I'm a scientist. I can't help but ask why. Was it just a "sorry-I-embarrassed-you" kiss or was it more. I fantasize that it's a "hearing-you-moan-my-name-makes-me-want-to-jump-you" kiss, and I replay it again and again. I'm almost certain that I feel her lips on mine, but when I open my eyes, there is nothing.

I can't think about this anymore.

I finally lull myself into sleep; no easy feat, mind you.

I open my eyes and the light is offensive. It needs to go away. I glance at the clock and it's nearly 8 o'clock.

Crap. Work.

And it hits me all over again. When I walk in those doors tonight, she's going to be there. Just… just play it cool. Yea. Cool. I'm cool. Cool is my middle name. Sara Cool Sidle.

Walking into the building was like walking into a funeral. There was no noise, no hustle and bustle. I lazily made my way to the break room and saw Nick, ready and waiting.

"Hey. What's going on?" I ask him, and I find a seat.

"Absolutely nothing," he replies. I flash a toothy smile and him and he returns it.

"It's okay. We'll catch something." I certain hope so, at least. I don't know how much time I'll be able to take with Catherine in the same room.

Catherine. And right on cue she walks in, followed by Greg.

"Slow night, huh?" Greg asks, and I do nothing but nod. I see Catherine flash me a smile, but it's so brief I begin to doubt it actually happened the second she looks away.

The next hours passes in agony, and it's getting ridiculous. I can't take this. My eyes are planted firmly on the table and I start to devise a plan.

There is nothing going on here, they won't miss us. We could go outside. Dark. Alone. Oh god. Even when Grissom comes in, I still can't get the picture I've just created out of my mind. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Catherine glance at me, and this time it lingers. I have to do something about this. Now. Just as he leaves, I stand. She sees me coming, and I'm certain she expected this because the look on her face matches mine.

"Meet me behind the building in five minutes," and with that I calmly leave the break room.

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