Ah, I found this lurking in a corner of my computer…I've written it ages ago. Thought I'd upload it now. Brimming with OOC-ness and nonsense!
For HPDM shippers only…
Harry was quite surprised to see his twenty three year old partner using the unlikeliest of muggle devices. Now, before you let your imagination run wild, let me tell you that it was ordinary laptop.
"Draco?" Harry questioned, "What on earth are you doing?"
The blonde looked up, surprised, "Oh you're back? Tough day at the Ministry?"
"Wonder how they let you off so early…you're an auror as well…" Harry grumbled.
Draco grinned mischievously, and kissed Harry.
Harry sighed, "Well, I hope you'd come home earlier everyday if this is what welcomes me…say why are you using that laptop?"
"Oh this…you know the story your aunt made up?"
"Aunt Joanne?"
"Yeah her, about you and Voldemort…"
Harry laughed, "Yeah she actually used our world and wrote a book, passing it off as fiction in the muggle world. It was quite brilliant actually…"
"Come on, it's quite fictitious here as well. Didn't you like kill Voldemort in the fourth year itself?"
Harry shrugged, "The book wouldn't have been such a bestseller in the muggle world then…"
"And I was never on the bad side!"
"Stop complaining Draco and get on with the story…"
Draco narrowed his eyes at him, "Well, no more welcomes for you! In any case, I got this laptop today from Weasley-"
"Ron?"
"Yeah him…and he told me use this thing called 'internet'…"
"Internet? For what?"
"Some website called fanfiction dot net. Hehe…it actually has stories written by muggles about us!"
"What?" Harry was amused and sat down next to Malfoy, pulled the laptop towards him and stared at the screen, "Why yes! See, Harry Potter!"
"The funniest part, look at the pairings!"
"Hey, we're quite popular!" Harry beamed at Draco
"Yup, and I'm supposed to be against you in the books," Draco smirked, "I guess girls just can't bear to see us with anyone else…"
Snuggling against Draco, Harry made himself comfortable. This was going to be interesting, "Hey Draco, let's check out the other pairings…"
Draco laughed, "Sure…"
Harry scrolled through the fics, "Me and Ginny…"
Malfoy nearly choked, "Weasley's sister? She was like your sister too…"
"She is like my sister" Harry corrected, "Moving on…"
"Next is me and Hermione…" Draco looked at Harry blankly
"Whatl?" Harry demanded
"She is kinda hot…"
Harry whacked Draco hard on the head.
"I'm kidding I'm kidding!" Draco added hastily
"You'd better be…erm…Ginny and you?"
"Next!"
"Hermione and me?" Harry paused, "don't say anything…"
"I wasn't about to," Draco said delicately, "Next is me and Zabini…hey that's actually good…"
"No its not…"
"Pray tell me why?"
"He's your best friend!"
"So?"
"Alright, how about me and Ron?"
"Point taken. Next!"
Grinning, Harry scrolled downwards, "Me and er…Sirius…"
"Black?" Draco was incredulous, "he's old enough to be your father, actually, he is your godfather!"
"Well, older men at better at se-"Harry quailed under Malfoy's furious gaze, "next please…"
"Sirius and Lupin…"
"Yeah, those two are meant for each other…" Harry said hastily trying to cover up for what he said earlier.
"Ron and Hermione, Ginny and Hermione" Draco muttered, "Seamus and Dean, Neville and Luna, You and Luna…"
"I wouldn't mind it…"
"But I would. Period. You and Neville…"
Harry shook his head, "Doesn't seem right…"
"Pansy and me" Draco scratched his chin thoughtfully
"Dumbledore and Grindelwald…"
"Hey!" Malfoy said indignantly, "you didn't let me complete my sentence!"
"No need to, love."
Draco crossed his arms across his chest and pouted mockingly.
"Aww…" Harry had to refrain himself from ravishing the blonde, "See, you're way too cute for Pansy!"
Draco smiled, "Fair enough…"
"Dumbledore and me…"
Draco cracked up and so did Harry. They rolled about laughing and were almost crying by the time they could read the next pairing.
"Yeah," Harry said, breathless, "Fred and George…twincest…"
"Oh interesting…"
"Yeah, I don't think any of them has a girlfriend…"
Malfoy shrugged, "Go on…"
"Me and Tom Riddle or Voldemort…"
Draco shuddered, "These muggles are impossible."
"Really…oh look! Bellatrix and Voldy!"
Draco sniggered, "Pointless, Voldemort was impotent anyway."
"Yeah-WHAT!" Harry spluttered, "How the hell do you know that?!"
"Next!"
"Bu-But-"
"Next!"
Harry glared at him suspiciously, "Then me and….Snape?!"
"You're teacher," Malfoy said sarcastically, "cum lover"
"I wish!"
"Excuse me?!"
"Err…I mean I wish these muggles would think rationally," Harry said hurriedly, trying to cover up his slip of tongue.
It was Draco's turn to glare now.
Harry gulped, "Well then there's your father and your Mum, my parents, Snape and my Mum!"
"Yeah," Draco was still glowering, "Haven't you read the books, your aunt is quite fond of twists and turns in the plot."
"To be honest, I haven't read them…must do it as quick as possible"
Draco snorted, "How come I'm not paired up with so many!"
"Well, you weren't the protagonist, were you?"
Another glare silenced him
"Well," said Draco, "It seems me and Hermione are quite liked as well. Maybe I should think about it…"
"She's with Ron"
" Like he's any match for me. But anyway, wanna check others?" suggested Draco.
"You mean other books?"
"Yeah…books that are famous in both muggle and wizard worlds, like Lord of the Rings!"
Harry clicked on Lord of the Rings
"Legolas and Aragorn…" said Harry
"Legolas is sort of like me, all sexy and stuff" Draco said matter of factly," Hmm, I can have him and you can take dobby!"
Harry coughed slightly, "Moving on, how about the muggle movies that we watched?"
"Which was that movie? The one about people on ships acting as though they were high on the essence of insanity potion?"
Harry cursored to Pirates of the Caribbean.
"Will and Elizabeth, Jack and Elizabeth, Will and Jack…" Draco muttered
"Will and me!" Harry interrupted.
Draco rolled his eyes, "Shut up…"
"Orlando Bloom is hot…" Harry said, hurt.
It was Draco's turn to whack Harry on the head.
"He's not better than me…"
"How can you be so sure?" Harry snapped
"Coz I've got a wand and he hasn't. I'm a wizard and he's not. Plus, he has to act in a movie to get hair like mine!"
"Hey yeah," comprehension suddenly dawned on Harry's face, "but if you want Legolas and I want Will, that means we'd have to share Orlando Bloom…"
Draco sighed, "You're hopeless…"
"We're entitled to our fancies!"
Draco slammed the laptop shut and towered over Harry.
Harry gazed up at him calmly.
"No more pairings" Draco's voice was cold
"But you didn't let me read even one, I wanted to read one of my favourite pairings…"
"You just read about this today and you already have favourites!!"
Harry leaned towards Draco, his lips inches from Draco's ear.
"But Draco," Harry whispered softly, his lips brushing Draco's ears, causing him to shiver slightly, "I've loved this pairing for the past six years, ever since I got out of Hogwarts…"
Harry gently bit Draco's ear, and pushed him down on the bed. Draco wrapped his arms around Harry…
"And," Harry's whispering had grown extremely seductive now, " this pairing is about two guys named Harry and Draco, sounds familiar?"
Draco leaned in to kiss Harry, then an idea struck him, "Hey Harry…"
"Mmm?"
"Want to write a fic?"
Harry pulled away, "You're joking, right?"
"No! I mean we can just write down whatever happened right now and ask some member from here to upload it!"
Harry scratched his head, "It makes no sense…"
"Sure it does," Draco gave his trademark smirk, "It gives a clear message that we don't want to be paired with anyone else!"
Harry grinned, "Oh…are you sure about that?"
Another whack to the head.
Draco started the laptop again, "Let's do this thing…"
Harry propped his head on Draco's shoulder, "You're typing out each and every word of what we said…"
"Yup, and our actions too…"
"You're ridiculous, Draco…"
Draco glared at Harry, "I want everyone reading this fic to know that Harry belongs to me and only me!"
Harry kissed him softly, "Yes,love. And you to me…"
I actually got this fic in my mail from a person claiming to be Draco Malfoy….he told me to upload it as it is…I've done that, in any case, HPDM forever!!
Okay, first of all I apologize to all the supporters of any other pairing. This was all done in fun, no offence intended, okay? So, no flames please.
And sorry about that Orlando Bloom obsession…but hey, this fic is intented to be utter rubbish!
Oh, and inspiration has finally struck me, I've begun work on a multi-chap HPDM fic!(It won't be a disaster like 'Secrets'…hopefully)
REVIEW!
Cheers!