Greetings, fan fic lovers. It's the one and only Shadow of Noir hear to give you a few laughs. The story all takes place in a high school setting with most of the characters being in their Junior year. Sonic plays a teenaged hedgehog with a desire to live a free spirited life. Little does he know, he just might get a taste of the life he so desires in the long run. Hilarity will insue. Go easy on me, though. This is my first time writing an actual fanfiction. And please excuse some of the dialect and slang being used amongst the characters. I wanted to have a little bit of diversity. I digress. With that being said, sit back, relax, and enjoy the writing. Rated Mature for Strong Language; Adult Themes; Crude Humor; And Sexual Content.
Pool Party
A Sonic the Hedgehog fan fiction written by Shadow of Noir
Chapter 1: No Need for Introductions
7:00 A.M.: Station Square
A beautifully fluorescent morning sun pours over the city. Sunlight floods through the crooked roads of Emerald Street, submerging condemned buildings and beautiful Painted Ladies (Victorian Houses) in this urban neighborhood. Birds sing their melodious ballads and warm gentle breezes blow across the horizon. Morning time in Station Square is quite peaceful and serene, when suddenly…
BUZZZZZ!!
Off goes the alarm clock, waking a certain blue, anthromorphic, Mobian hedgehog out of his peaceful slumber. It was the first day of the two weeks before his anticipated Spring Holiday. However, this 16-year-old hedgehog was less than anxious to seize the day.
Sonic: (Moans Sleepily) Mornin' already? Well, I guess it's about that time...
As his alarm clock continues to ring, Sonic quickly reconsiders his plan to wake up.
BUZZZZZ!!
Sonic: Eh, yyyy'know what? The hell with that! (Shuts off alarm and resumes sleeping, yawns) Five more minutes…
30 minutes later…
Knock! Knock! Knock!
Sonic: (sleep talks) Mm! Damn, girl! You lookin' good! Zzzzz…I almost crashed my Mustang lookin at you. And all that ass on you is DEFINITELY gonna cause some wrecks! Zzzz…
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
Sonic: (continues to sleep talk) What?! Whatcha mean you don't date minors? Zzzzz…You'd better get with me or get gone, shawty! Age ain't nothin' but a number…zzzz…but my "size" will MORE than make up for it, ya feel me?! Hehehe…
BANG!! BANG!! BANG!!
If knocking on his bedroom door ever failed, banging on it would certainly get Sonic's attention.
Sonic: (shoots up from pillow, startled) Wh-What? Who the hell? I didn't mean to look up your skirt, Ms. Vanilla!! I swear it was the wind!! (Winces eyes sleepily) Wait a minute…Aaaaw Man!!
Sonic glanced at his alarm clock which read 7:30 A.M.; much later than his normal morning routine.
Sonic's P.O.V.
What's good, ladies and gents? My name is Sonic; Sonic the Hedgehog. But you can call me Baby Blue. As you know, I'm wakin' up late… AGAIN!! This has to be the second time this month I've overslept, and I'm pretty sure my dad's getting a little fed up with my sluggishness. Luckily for me, he woke me up just in time before my "dime-piece" English teacher, Ms. Vanilla, slapped the livin' shit outta me.
Voice: (yells) SONIC!!
Sonic: Uh…S-sir?
Voice: BOY, GET YO' BUTT OUTTA BED AND GET READY FOR SCHOOL!!
Sonic quickly removed himself from his bed, but nearly hurt himself in the process of running towards his bedroom door. He opened the door to find a tall, muscular, dark blue hedgehog-who seemed to be in his late thirties or early forties- standing before him. It was Sonic's father; Swift the Hedgehog.
Sonic: Yes sir?
Swift: Did I stutter? Get dressed! I just finished making you a hot breakfast after I got in from work. So do you mind eatin' this shit when you get yourself straight, please?
Sonic: No, not at all, but (scratches head) it'd help me a lot if you wouldn't call it "shit", dad.
Swift: It'd help me, too, if you'd get ya monkey ass downstairs and eat it before it gets cold. You don't have a lot of time. By the way, ain't that boy with the dreads supposed to pick you up this mornin'?
At first, Sonic didn't know who his father was referring to. So he took a moment of pondering.
Sonic: (quietly) Dreads? Hmm…Oh!! You must mean K.T...Er…I mean Knuckles, right?
Swift: Knuckles The Echidna. Oh, Locke's boy. Yeah, that's right.
Sonic: Whoops. Heh Heh. I forgot he was supposed to pick me up, today.
Swift: Well, then if he's comin' to get you, then why in the good Lord's name ain't you ready? And I'm not in the mood to hear another one of your bullshit excuses. (Silence) I'm waitin'!!
Sonic struggled to come up with a logical explanation, but to no avail.
Sonic: Well…Uh…I…er…See, what had happened was…Damn. Out of ammo.
Swift: Uh-Huh. Just can't admit that you messed around and overslept, can you? (Exhales and shakes head). Boy, you really need to start becomin' a little more responsible. You can start by cleaning up this damn room. Looks like a storm blew through it!! I'm lookin' at candy wrappers and chicken bones, CDs, Video Games to ya lil' Game Station…
Sonic: Um…I-it's a "Play Station 3", pop.
Swift:WHATEVER!! Don't go changin' the subject on me!! You got a half-eaten chili dog on ya dresser drawers and…what in the HELL is that stain on your bed spread?!
Swift noticed Sonic trying to formulate another lame excuse, then he quickly realized what the "stain" just may be.
Swift: Never mind. I don't wanna know. Just get it right before Knuckles gets here. What's wrong with you, boy?! This ain't no gotdamn dumpster!
Swift departed as he continued to talk ramble on about Sonic's uncleanliness, leaving Sonic to do nothing but sigh. Something told him that it was going to be a long day.
So, I did as I was told. I straightened my room (kinda), took a quick shower, and threw on my school clothes; A White "Tall Tee", Blue South Pole Jeans, and last, but certainly not least, a pair of Red and White Nikes. After that, I was all set for school.
I began to head for the stairs when I saw my dad sound asleep in his bedroom. Ever since my mom died when I was about 12, he's been working graveyard shift to make sure we had food on the table. Despite the fact that I often pitch in a couple of bucks to help him out, he's been grindin' harder than ever, which causes me to worry about his health. Well, anyway, bein' the considerate kid that I am, I decided to make Pops feel a little more comfortable by pulling off his work boots and covering him with an old quilt. As I left his room, I felt a smile creep upon my face. I can't front, man: I love that guy. He drives me crazy sometimes, but still…
I finally made it downstairs- greetin' my pet dog, Tip, along the way to the kitchen- when a call came through on my cell phone.
Sonic: (answers phone) Yo.
Unknown Caller: Ayo, what's good witcha, Baby Blue?
Sonic: (Smiles) K.T., what up, boy?
Unknown Caller: Nothin' much, man. Look, I'm about a minute away from yo' crib. You set?
Sonic: Fa'sho!! See you in a minute, bruh.
Unknown Caller: Aiight, man. One.
End of Conversation
BEEP!! BEEP!!
Shortly after receiving the phone call, Sonic notices a Red and White Chevrolet 2007 Camaro parked next to his home. In the vehicle was a 17-year-old red, dreadlocked echidna- about 5'11" with the physique of a middleweight boxer; wearing a red Enyce T-Shirt with Dark Green and Yellow Enyce Jean Shorts and a pair of Red, Green and Yellow Reebok-who arrived as scheduled. This red echidna is none other than Sonic's neighbor and childhood friend; Knuckles.
Sonic redirected his attention to the massive breakfast his father had prepared for his nourishment.
Pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, grits, toast, and O.J. Mmm!! I wanted to wolf it all down in a second, but I didn't wanna keep K.T. waitin'- the guy's got a temper- so I just grab a slice of toast and headed for the exit. But whaddaya know: Pops' "Parenting Sonar" kicked in before I managed to step out…
Swift: (yells from bedroom upstairs) SONIC! FINISH YA BREAKFAST, BOY!!
…and MAN does he hate waistin' food!
Sonic: (opens front door) Hey, K.T., you hungry?!
8:00 A.M.: Station Square High School-a massive high school on the Eastside of Station Square.
Luckily for me, K.T. was in a pretty good mood, so he was a little more patient…today, that is. We managed to walk through the doors of Station Square High with about 20 minutes to kill. We thought about hangin' out in the halls for a while and figured, 'What the hell. Let's chill!'
Sonic and Knuckles walked through the crowed hallways until they heard a slightly distant but oddly familiar voice calling their names.
Voice: Hey, Sonic! Knuckles!! WAIT UP!!
The two simultaneously turned their heads in the direction from whence the voice came to see one of their closest friends, Silver the Hedgehog, racing through the crowds of students. Silver, 15, is a talented D.J. and music producer known by several musicians-both underground and mainstream- for his work in Hip-Hop, R&B, and Techno instrumentals. However, he is a bit naïve and gets little to no respect from the peers other than his friends.
Silver: (pant) Hey (pant) guys.
Knuckles: (chuckles) What's happenin', Silv?
Silver managed to catch his breath and engaged in the gang's special handshake with Knuckles.
Silver: Not too much, man. What's up with you two?
Sonic and Knuckles: Chillin', cuz.
Silver: Cool! Same here. (Grins widely) God, I'm glad to see you guys!
Sonic was well aware of the trademark grin Silver often used when he was in desperate need. This time, Sonic refused to give in to Silver's request, but decided to play along until the truth was revealed.
Sonic: (smiles) I bet you are! (Leans toward knuckles and quietly says) He wants somethin' again. You know that same ol' cheesy ass grin he gives us when he wants somethin' from us.
Knuckles: Humph!! That shit ain't foolin' me! (looks away) At least not this time…
Sonic: Come hang with us, bruh. (hangs an arm across Silver's shoulder and walks him down the hall) So, what's on your mind?
Silver: Uh…(clears throat) Well, I just wanted to let you know what great friends you two are. You guys always have my back.
Knuckles: (shakes head, mumbles) I can't believe this shit…
Sonic: Well, hell yeah! You know we're homies, man. Through thick and thin, we gotta stick together like butt cheeks in heat, ya dig?
Silver: Right. Sure, I could make more money than the Hiltons, but I'd trade it all in a second just to hang out with you two!
Knuckles: (mumbles) God, will you PLEASE kill me, now?!
Sonic: (gasp) I'm astounded that you feel that way, Silver!! Much appreciated, potna. (thinks) 'Whatever you want outta me, you ain't gettin'. Gimme all ya got!'
Silver: I mean, I've been friends with a few cool chicks, too, but you guys come first!
Knuckles: What…the…FUCK?!
Sonic: Ooookay… (looks around nervously)
Silver: Hey, the babes can come later in my life. Like my motto says: Bros before Hoes!! (tears up) I never said this before, but… (sniff)… I frickin' love you guys, man!!
Sonic: WHAT?!
At this point, Knuckles had heard enough and finally decided to speak his mind.
Knuckles: (irritably) Aww, HELL naw! HELL TO THE NAW!! What kinda…(clutches Silver's shirt) Spit it out! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, SILVER?!
Silver: (hurtfully stares in disbelief) What? H-how can you threaten me and accuse me of begging after I complimented you? I'm appalled!!
Knuckles: Appalled these nuts! (lifts Silver in the air) You say the same lames ass shit whenever you want somethin'! Tell that shit to somebody that ain't "Bullshit Intolerant"! Now, I've heard some lies through my 17 years and yours were pretty shitty, but what the fuck were you thinkin' spittin' that homo shit at us?!
As he hovered inches above the floor, Silver turned to Sonic for the benefit of the doubt. However, Sonic had to agree with Knuckles on this one.
Sonic: (hunches shoulders) Hey, man. You even lost me, this time. I don't know what to tell you Silv'.
Knuckles: (yells) TALK!!
Knuckles' booming voice stopped several students in their tracks.
Knuckles: The fuck Y'ALL lookin' at?!
The students quickly resumed their actions. Silver finally decided to succumb.
Silver: Alright. Alright. (exhales) I guess there's no point in kissing your asses anymore, is there?
Sonic & Knuckles: NO!!
Silver: Well, let's cut to the chase: Did you guys do any of Mr. Swine's math assignment this weekend? I didn't get to finish it because I had to DJ another party.
Knuckles: AHA!! I knew yo' lyin' as wanted somethin' from…(pauses and widens eyes) Hold up. We had homework?
Sonic: Yep.
Knuckles: Over the weekend?!
Silver: Uh-Huh.
Knuckles: (panics) IN MR. SWINE'S CLASS?!
Sonic & Silver: (nod) Yessir!
Knuckles: AAAAAWWW, SHIT!!
Silver: Dude, I gotta ask: Do you plan on graduating with us next year, or by yourself three years from now?
Knuckles: Shut up, smart ass! Now, I gotta throw some answers on this paper before 4th period!! Damn!!
Silver: Well, what about you, Sonic?
Sonic: Yes and no.
Silver: Wait. Yes AND no?
Sonic: Yes: I got it and it's done. No: You cannot borrow it.
Silver: C'mon buddy. We gotta stick together like butt cheeks as you said earlier. We are friends, right?
Sonic: Yeah. We're cool, but you do all the ass kissin' you wanna do. I'm not givin' you my homework.
Silver: Dude, seriously, are you shittin' me?
Sonic: Nope. I shit you not.
Silver: (sigh) Goddammit.
Knuckles: I know this: I'ma get like Silver and commence to kissin' some ass to finish this shit up! Wait, what am I thinkin'? Let's ask Mighty if he did it.
Sonic: You could've asked me for the work, K.T., but, hey! Do you.
Knuckles: Well, will you let…
Sonic: (interrupts) Too late!
Knuckles: Man, fuck the both of y'all, then!
Sonic: You just feel the need to hate 'cause I have a "B" in Swine's class.
Silver: A "B+", at that.
Knuckles: No!! (pause) Maybe! (pause) Yeah…
Sonic: I need to talk to Mighty anyway. I was at work Saturday and I missed the game. So, here.
Sonic generously handed his completed assignment to the two friends.
Sonic: Don't think I'ma keep doin' this, aiight? I need this back after before 3rd period.
Knuckles & Silver: No problem!
As the three continue to walk through the halls, the come across a black, red shelled armadillo named Mighty, 16, -who is a Hispanic friend in Sonic and Knuckles' neighborhood- struggling with his locker.
Mighty: C'mon! OPEN, DAMMIT!!
Sonic: Ayo, Mighty, what's crackin', playa?
Mighty: Nothin', homes. ("Daps" Sonic) Especially not this locker.
Knuckles: Man, you still ain't get it fixed yet?
Mighty: No, Knux. I haven't.
Knuckles: Well, why don't you try…
Mighty: And hell no. I won't. (shakes head)
Knuckles: Damn. You didn't even let me finish!
Mighty: That's only because I know you were gonna tell me to bust it open.
Knuckles: Hell, it worked for me!
Mighty: But not for me. The last time I listened to you, I ended up spraining my wrist & getting detention for denting my locker (points to the massive dent).
Knuckles: Man, it's not that noticeable.
Mighty: IT STILL DIDN'T OPEN!! (exhales) Well, anyway, what's good? I see Silver's still begging for homework, eh?
Silver: Nobody asked you! And I didn't beg. I just…
Mighty: …Kissed ass?
Silver: (Shakes head) No! No! No! You got it all wrong, bro. I consider it to be "flattery" and "false complimenting". Manipulation is what I think of it as.
Mighty: Yeah. That's ass-kissing. (Sonic & Knuckles laugh).
Sonic: Say, Mighty, did you catch the Badniks game, Last Saturday? I missed it.
Mighty: (angrily) OOO!! Boy, DID I?!
Silver: Damn. Was it that bad?
Mighty: Was it BAD? No. IT WAS HORRIFIC!!
Knuckles: Oh, I think I got time for this. (leans against lockers) Please continue!
Mighty: Alright. It's the last quarter, and we're up by two points, right?
Sonic: Right. Right.
Mighty: Ya boy, Charles Chimpanzee, was on the court showin' his ass, homes. He broke about 5 ankles in less than 20 seconds with some dangerous crossovers.
Sonic, Silver, & Knuckles: (wide eyed) Daaaamn!
Sonic: Doesn't sound so horrific to me.
Silver: Yeah. What's so bad about that, Mighty?
Mighty: I'm not done yet. Anyway, the time winds down to about 10 seconds. Charles picks up the pace and prepares for a beautiful dunk!
Mighty's enthusiastic sports update really had Sonic, Knuckles, and Silver on the edge of their seats (although they were standing up in reality).
Knuckles: What happened next?! (shakes Mighty violently until his teeth rattle) I GOTTA know, man!
Mighty: Whoa! Easy! I'm getting' to that, ese. (Knuckles releases Mighty) He goes up for a dunk of "epic proportions" and what not. I mean, this would've put M.J. and Shaq themselves to shame.
Sonic: Word?
Mighty: Yeah. But get this: While he was soarin' across the court, Charles landed smack-dab against the backboard of the goal. He was down for the count!
Sonic & Silver: WHAT?!
Mighty: That ain't shit compared to what I'm gonna tell you next. At the last two seconds of the game, Frost the Penguin of the Ice Cap Blizzards scored a 3 pointer from the other side of the frickin' court! Can you believe it?! We lost: 82-83!!
Sonic: Aaw, DAMN! Say it ain't so, Mighty?
Mighty: I wish I could, homes.
Knuckles: Maaaan, I remember that shit!
Sonic: (raises brow) Come again?
Knuckles: I caught the game, man. I was just as mad as Mighty probably was.
Silver: Ditto!
Sonic: Wait a minute. Both of you saw the game?
Knuckles & Silver: Yeah. So?
Sonic: SO?! If you two caught the game, then why the hell did you have me hunt Mighty down for the coverage?
Knuckles: The fuck do we look like? Sports reporters?
Silver: Yeah. Besides, Mighty is a MUCH better storyteller than us.
Sonic: Y'all two suck, man. (Silver and Knuckles laugh)
Silver: Did you hear what Chimpanzee said in the post-game interview?
Knuckles: Hell yeah! (bellows to imitate the athletes voice) 'What had happened was, when I went up for that dunk, I musta tripped over my shoelaces or some'n' I was like 'What kinda bullshit is this?!'
Mighty: You and me both.
Silver: Well, that makes three of us!
(Pause)
Sonic: (exclaims) DAMMIT, I ALWAYS MISS SOMETHIN' GOOD!! AIN'T THIS A BITCH!!
Silver, K.T., Mighty and, eventually, I burst out laughin'. Well, at least until an irritable, dark pink echidna named Julie-Su showed up. Jules is K.T.'s younger, tomboyish fraternal twin sister. She is real caring (when she wants to be) and funny, but has a temper that equals her brother's. As fine as she is, she gets pretty ugly when she's pissed and no one, not even K.T, can escape her wrath. Today, Jules was gonna prove that theory.
Knuckles: (mumbles) Aw, Shit. (Annoyed) Whatchu want, girl?
Julie-Su: Hand it over! (extends hand)
Knuckles: I don't know what the hell you're talkin' about.
Julie-Su: Don't play dumb with me. (folds arms)
Sonic: Oh I don't think he's playin' Jules. Hehehe… (Mighty & Silver laugh)
As much as Julie-Su wanted to laugh at Sonic's crude remark, she retained her solemn mood and returned things to a serious vibe, killing the laughter.
Sonic: (clears throat) Um, back to you.
Julie-Su: Give me my Ipod. Now
Knuckles: I ain't got shit, so what are you yappin' about?
Julie-Su: Oh, so you're gonna tell me that I didn't lend you my Ipod last night and, by some strange twist of fate, it mysteriously came up missing, huh?
Knuckles: Yep! It's all a part of your vivid imagination, slow-ass!
Despite the fact that Knuckles and Julie-Su bicker and fight like cats and dogs, they couldn't picture themselves being separated from each other. For now, it was another one of those days.
Julie-Su: Stop playin' and give it here. I know you have it, Knuckles. I'm not stupid, okay?
Knuckles: You sure?
Knuckles noticed that Julie-Su was getting a bit steamed, so, to avoid her wrath, he reached into his pocket and returned her desired MP3 player.
Knuckles: Here! Take ya' raggedy ass Ipod and get the hell outta here. Your music sucks anyway! And what the hell do I look like holdin a pink Ipod?
Julie-Su: Oh, I don't know. How does "some-asshole-that-needs-to-by-his-own-shit" sound?
That's it! We had to laugh at that one!
Knuckles: (grits teeth) Get gone, LITTLE SISTER!
Julie-Su: Little sister? Just because you're 7 minutes older than me, doesn't mean you control me. I'm waiting for Rouge and Amy, so I'm NOT goin' anywhere! I've got another bone to pick with you, too.
Knuckles: What now?!
Julie-Su: Why didn't you take me to school with you, today?
Knuckles: Oh, now you think I can't pick my friends up. Besides, you didn't have a problem takin' the bus before.
Julie-Su: Yeah. That was BEFORE you bought a car.
Knuckles: What? WHY YOU LIL' MOOCHIN' MUTHA…
Sonic: (interrupts) Yo, Jules. What's good, homie?
Julie-Su: (Grins) Hey, Blue! Wassup?
Mighty & Silver: (unison) Hey, Jules.
Julie-Su: (smiles sweetly) Hi, guys. Hey, do you know if Rouge and Amy are coming today?
Silver: Yep. Here they come now!
The spotlight turned to a white, 16-year-old bat accompanied by a hot-pink, 15-year-old hedgehog; Rouge the Bat and Amy Rose. Amy is Sonic's clingy cousin with a very kind heart and an aspiring future in clothing design.
Then there is Rouge, the very sexy and conceited daughter of famous jewelers. Her expertise is manipulating the opposite sex by flaunting her "goods". One of her favorite targets is her secret love interest and long time friend, Knuckles.
Amy: Hi, Sonic! (rushes to hug him)
Sonic: (sarcastically) It's good to see you, too, Ames.
Mighty: What's up, Amy?
Amy: ¡Hola, papi! (giggles as Mighty blushes, causing Sonic to chuckle)
Silver: Amy! What's happenin', girl?
Amy: Hey, Sil-
In mid-sentence, Amy caught a whiff of Silver's rancid breath, which nearly made her gag.
Amy: (eyes tightly shut) Ooooooo. (regains composure, putting on an honest smile)
Silver: Something wrong?
Amy: (sweetly) Um, Silver, sweetie, would you like a piece of gum?
Silver: Oh, yeah! I could go for some gum right about now!
Amy: Good! Take one. In fact, take two!!
Silver: Hmmm. Feeling generous today, are we? (devilish smirk)
Amy: Yeah, you can say that. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got gossiping to do! Hey, Jules what's crackin' girl?
Julie-Su: Waddup, daaaawg?!
Amy: Girl, you won't believe who I saw at the mall last night! (laughs and converses with Julie-Su)
Silver: (nudges Sonic) Amy's totally diggin' me, bro. Why else would she be so nice to me?
Sonic: (smells breath) Gotdamn! Uh… I don't think that's the case, Silv.
Knuckles: Well, y'all can talk about how Silver's breath smells like rotten ass 'til the cows come home. I'm gonna go push up on Rouge.
Sonic: (sigh) You never give up, do you, K.T.?
Knuckles: I'll never back down. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Real talk.
Sonic: Good luck. Your gonna need it!
Silver: (laughs) Same old Knuckles. (pause) Hey, wait a second! My breath doesn't smell like rotten ass!!
Mighty: (holds nose) I beg to differ!!
Knuckles immediately worked his game by starting off with a "cat call". Rouge pretended not to acknowledge the whistle, but was quite amused. She was excited to play against Knuckles in another battle of wits. Sonic and the gang couldn't help but enjoy the show.
Julie-Su: (to Amy) Here we go again.
Knuckles: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Now, I know yo' sexy self ain't about to walk past me without sayin' wassup, are you?
Rouge: Mmm…Yeah.
Knuckles: Heh. Playin' mind games again, I see. But there ain't no sense in actin' like you don't see me. You know you can't ignore me!
Rouge: Wanna bet?
Knuckles Don't EVEN try to play me! I know that you know that you want me to tear up yo' bed set. Word on the street is you're lookin' somebody that's "swangin'". Look no further! I got what you lookin' for and, baby, I'm hung like a horse!
Rouge: Hmm. You got me there. I DO like "big boys", but I also like all nighters! And at an estimate, I can predict you'll last…oh…about 10 minutes. Hell, you probably can't get it in without milking the cow, and I bet your lying about your so-called "size"!!
The whole gang laughed hysterically. Even some on-lookers decided to stop and watch for the sake of entertainment.
Knuckles: Lyin' about the size of my pipe? Do you NEED to see it? (reaches for zipper)
Sonic & crew: NO!!
Everyone shielded their eyes except for Rouge, who raised her brows and smirk devilishly with anticipation to see if Knuckles was honest about the size of his male appendage.
Knuckles: Hmph! Girl, you lucky we're in school. Otherwise, I'd have to make an example out of you.
Rouge: As if. One dose of me and you'll be hooked like a drug addict.
Knuckles: Don't bullshit yourself. Either we smashin' or not! But you know that I'll beat it up like a street fighter, don't ya?
Rouge: Maybe. Maybe not.
Knuckles: Uh-Huh. Right now, you probably thinkin' 'HELL YEAH!' Don't say nothin' when I blow ya back out while I'm puttin' in work. Just say my name, Ma.
Rouge: Oh, Puh-lease.
Knuckles: Girl, you got me twisted. I'ma have yo ass screamin' out ya OWN name. (looks to Sonic and crew) Watch, she'll be like 'Ooo-Wee. I'm Rouge. Oh, damn. Rouge. Hit it just like that!"
The laughter continued to grow, but Knuckles didn't stop there.
I'll beat the brakes off that ass so bad that I'll have you Sittin' Sideways like Paul Wall, messin' up ya lil' walk and shit.
Knuckles then imitated Rouges trademark walk of seduction…with a limp, of course, which sent everyone to tears of laughter. Rouge just shook her head and giggled.
Knuckles: (imitates Rouge's voice) 'Gotdamn! I ain't never gonna hit him for that long no more. But, SHIT, he was so damn good. I gotta go BACK to his ass! Mm.' You just wait!
Rouge: Hm. You can talk all the trash you want. I doubt you'll last 10 minutes in bed with me. (stares at him seductively) Or…(places an index finger on the side of his face running it down his cheek) I might be wrong. Who knows?
Knuckles: (seductively) Only one way to find out. You down for the ride?
The two stare into each other's eyes seductively and slowly move their faces in, their lips only inches apart. However, Rouge stopped Knuckles' puckered lips with her finger.
Rouge: (scoffs) Not even in your wettest dream! Later (departs to Amy and Julie-Su, blowing a kiss to Knuckles)
Somethin' told me that he wasn't gonna get any action. She got him again. Poor, simple ass K.T.
Knuckles: Man, she needs to quit teasin' me and give me what I want! I'm gettin' impatient!
Voice: Still can't get her to bang you, huh? You're such a pitiful amateur.
The gang turned their heads to see a black hedgehog with red-dyed quills standing behind Knuckles. He was Shadow the Hedgehog (Silver's cousin), 17; a very rich and famous Rock idol a popular student amongst Station Square High School, and a professional womanizer. Following him was a purple chameleon named Espio; little is known about him, but he is a good friend to Shadow, Knuckles, and Mighty.
Knuckles: I'm not stoppin' until I get her panties, man.
Shadow: That's what you said the last time she turned you down.
Sonic: Shad! What's poppin', son?
Shadow: (Nonchalantly) Nothin', man. (Daps Sonic)
Knuckles: How's it hangin', Espio?
Espio: I'm cool.
Amy, Julie-Su, and Rouge: Hi, Shadow.
Shadow: (cool smile) Hey.
Silver: Hey Cuz!!
Shadow: (frowns and sigh) Hey, Silver…
Silver: So, how's the music business treating you?
A beautiful blue vixen approached Shadow out of nowhere and gave him a passionate kiss on the lips, departing thereafter.
Espio: (smirks) Does that answer your question?
Sonic: Aaah. Must be good to be a big time Rock Star, ain't it?
Shadow: Is it ever? Dude, I love the attention I'm getting, the people I'm working with, and I really like all the ass I'm getting after my concerts.
Knuckles: Haha! I hear that. Man, I heard that they have some MAJOR freaks out in Casinopolis! How was it? Do they have girls with good "head game" out there?
Shadow: That, my friend, I cannot tell. Whatever happens in Casinopolis…
Sonic, Mighty, and Knuckles: …Stays in Casinopolis! (laugh)
I would kill to live the high life that Shadow's livin'(I didn't mean what I just said, but I still wanna live up in the Green Hills): The money, the dime-pieces, the fame, the dime-pieces, the prosperity, the dime-pieces. Did I mention the dime-pieces? It's good to have millions girls showing you love and… "other things", compared to the last two relationships I've been in. Maybe I might find a real girl out there…Nah!!
Shadow: It feels good to be home, though. There's nothing like banging the babes from Station Square.
Silver: Amen to that, Shad.
Shadow: Shut up, Silver. You can't co-sign on this 'cause you still haven't got any yet.
Silver: Harsh.
Knuckles: Aw man. Silv, you still a virgin?!
Silver: Oh yeah. Post my sex life on a billboard, why don't ya!!
Shadow: What "Sex Life" do you have besides the one with Palmala.
Silver: Palmala?
Espio: You know her. (makes a hand gesture that symbolizes masturbation) Palmala!!
An uproar of laughter commenced among the friends. Then the bell to begin school rang.
Rouge: Damn. First Period.
Sonic: Well, I'll see you guys later. I gotta bounce. I STILL want my homework back by 3rd Period, K.T.
Espio: (sigh) Knux, do you really plan on…
Knuckles: Yes, I'm graduating next year, aiight? Damn, get off my ass!!
Espio: No, dude. I don't swing that way, okay?
Knuckles: No! No homo! I didn't mean it like that!! Man, forget you. I'm outta here!
Shadow: Hey, guys…
Sonic, Knuckles, Silver, Mighty, and Espio all turned to Shadow.
Shadow: I've gotta let you in on something at lunch time. I promise you that it'll be worth the wait.
Mighty: So what is it?
Shadow: That's for me to know and for you to find out at lunch. Patience is a virtue you guys.
Knuckles: Fuck that shit! I don't have patience!! So you GOTTA tell me!
Shadow: No.
Knuckles: Tell me!!
Shadow: (annoyed) No!
Knuckles: (yells) TELL ME!!
Shadow: Do you plan on doing this all day?
Knuckles: If that's what it takes…
K.T. continued to bother Shad for the secret as they walked to class. Hell, I'm pretty anxious to find out myself. But for now, I gotta get to class before I get detention!
To Be Continued…
What is the secret Shadow has up his sleeve? Will Knuckles and Rouge ever get together? And what lies next for our hero, Sonic, and his friends? Will I ever stop talking like a cartoon narrator? Only one way to find out? Stay Tuned. There are several more humorous twist and turns in this story and several more characters to come. Be patient, ladies and gentlemen and please Review. Peace!