Love Shack

Damn that woman and her fiendish, cunning ways! Sasuke weaved slightly, but managed to keep from falling all together. He couldn't believe he'd been so totally, unquestionably deceived. And by Sakura, of all people, the one person he was supposed to be able to count on.

This recent turn of events was disturbing, to say the least. And that girl across the street was really very attractive—

He thought long and hard about Itachi, death, killing, revenge, etc.

It only served to make him hornier. Sasuke was utterly appalled at himself. Who knew he was so kinky?

"Dude," Naruto stared as Sasuke started banging his head against things in some perverse attempt to knock himself out. "What did you do to him?!"

"Drugged him." Sakura said with all the vicious cheer of someone who Has An Evil Plan. "Er. Perhaps more than technically recommended. But. Eh."

Kakashi peered over his porn book and surveyed his even more traumatized student critically. "It's a dark day when Sasuke could pass himself off as Jiraya's son," he remarked dryly, and teleported away, doubtlessly planning to watch the following event unfold from some nice, safe vantage point.

Sasuke turned around grumpily. "Tch, basta—rd—ssss." He was staring so intently at Sakura's chest, he had gone slightly cross eyed. Naruto looked like he might start crying.

"Seriously. Sakura-chan. What did you do?!"

Sakura laughed madly, "Oh, nothing he'll remember tomorrow morning."

Naruto took it upon himself to save Sasuke. Because there was nothing more disturbing than a Sasuke with a goofy grin. That was just inhumane and wrong in the presence of small children.

"Okay," he heaved Sasuke's wobbling form over one shoulder and started dragging, "But, ahahaha, you are so buying me ramen for this. For maybe, like, ten years. Also, I am writing, "Naruto is a better ninja than me," on your shirts. Every single freaking one of them. And you will wear them like the little bitch you are—"

Sasuke pinched his butt. Naruto promptly threw him into a wall with a girly squeal, wide eyed and on the point of hyperventilating.

"You know, I'd be happy to take care of him," Sakura smiled innocently. Naruto was astounded. Who knew Sakura could be so…so…so devious!

But. Well. There was so much blackmail to be had from this and—and he really didn't want to mess with Sakura and her newfound evil master mind-ed-ness.

"At least try to get indoors before you start going at it," he muttered sullenly, and flipped Kakashi off. Because he knew that bastard was watching, he just knew.