Gaydar Lessons

Gaydar Lessons

By Hekate101

Summary: …Because Hermione can't know everything.

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"Professor," Hermione called through the ajar door.

"Come in, Hermione." Hermione stepped into her professor's office. "Tea?"

"Oh, yes please." Her professor slid Notable Wizards through the Ages: Volume XI toward her and turned to fix a pot.

"There seem to be an awful lot of gay wizards," Hermione said, scanning the miniature biographies at the beginning of the book a few minutes later.

Across her desk, Professor McGonagall raised an eyebrow. "In all of your reading, you haven't come across it?"

"Across what?"

"The reason the wizarding population is so small." Hermione shook her head limply, already itching to race off to the library to research, but she stayed put, because her professor continued: "Approximately thirty percent of our adult population is homosexual, compared to the purported ten percent of Muggles."

"Thirty?" Hermione choked out.

"Professors Dumbledore, Sinistra, and Flitwick, Madame Hooch…and that's only the current staff. Professor Lockhart, Professor Lupin…"

"Remus?"

Professor McGonagall looked equal parts shocked and guilty. "Oh…you weren't aware? …Well, generally professors don't tout their private lives to the students, but you know him personally. You certainly didn't believe he and Sirius were just friends?"

Hermione gaped. "Well…er…I did suspect about Madame Hooch…"

"A blind pigeon would suspect about Madame Hooch, Hermione." She sighed. "I expected better of you."

--

"…And then Professor McGonagall listed off professors…did you know Remus was gay?" Hermione asked, aghast.

"Yeah," Harry said. "He told me the statistics last year, but I figured you already knew."

"You didn't even suspect?" Ron asked. "Honestly, 'Mione! You figured out he was a werewolf but not that he was gay? Seriously, which one do you think he was hiding?"

Hermione blushed.

"For a smart girl, you're awfully dense about some things," Harry said.

"Well-" Suddenly she felt urged to defend herself. "You can't expect me to automatically know. I don't even know any gay people. …Er. Except for Remus, I guess."

Harry and Ron stared at her.

"What?"

"Merlin, Hermione," Ron said.

Her jaw dropped. He had never struck her as… "You're gay?"

Ron sighed, and Harry chuckled. She looked from one to the other, trying to figure out the joke. Harry coughed, and waved at her.

"Oh! …You're…"

Ron looked toward the ceiling, as if praying. "Hermione, it's official. You need gaydar lessons."

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A/N: This is a oneshot. I know I left it open-ended, but that's mostly because I just wanted it to go away. I'm writing again. Thid doesn't mean Game Night is being updated immediately, but it does mean Game Night is being updated. Also, there are some 'Yet Unannounced's being worked on as well.