"Oh, look, there she is," Sasuke pointed to a pink haired shinobi walking with an ebon haired shinobi who just happened to be Neji's cousin, Hinata. Sasuke smirked.

"Good," he said. "Two for one. Go for it." Neji looked at Sasuke, panic written all over his face.

"I thought I was just going to talk to Sakura!" he said desperately. "I don't have one for Hinata!" Sasuke looked at Neji and handed him the paper and a small bottle labeled "Sake." Neji looked at it in disbelief.

"Where the hell'd you get this!?" he asked, slightly awed. Sasuke shrugged.

"Lee," he said simply. Neji closed his gaping mouth. Figures. Maybe that's why Lee told Neji he had to try to pick up Hinata…

Neji shook his head and took the bottle but didn't take the list.

"I will not try to pick up my cousin in the presence of Haruno Sakura!" he said firmly.

"So, you'll do it if I get Sakura away from Hinata?" Sasuke asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. Neji went bright red.

"N-no, of course not!" he shouted. Sasuke sniggered.

"Whatever," he said. "Just say it to Sakura, then, but, she's getting away." Neji looked and saw that Sakura and Hinata, indeed, were almost to the corner and out of sight. He sighed and hurried after them, opening the bottle as Sasuke had instructed and trying to make himself look even remotely drunk. Damn! He thought angrily. Where's Lee when you need him? Neji blinked and almost stumbled. Did I just think that??

Yeah, you did, hon!

Who the hell are you!?

Narrator.

What?

Nar-ra-tor. I'm the one who's making you do all this embarrassing, yet insanely awesome shit.

So it's you!!

Yup.

..Fu—

I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Now back to it Neji!! Sakura's waaaiiitiing!!

You...

Neji shook his head, wondering if the mini conversation he had just heard in his mind was a signal that he should see a therapist. Not the time. He reminded himself as he neared the Haruno.

He reached her, finally, and called out.

"Hey, Haruno!" Sakura turned, a look of slight irritation on her face at having been called so rudely. She saw Neji and her face lightened slightly.

"Hey, Neji!" she said, giving him a slight wave. Next to her, Hinata went red and waved timidly at her cousin.

"H-hey N-Neji," she stuttered. Neji nodded to her and turned back to Sakura. He let his eyes flash from her head down to her feet and then back up again, pretending to appraise her. He raised an eyebrow, held up the sake bottle and looked at her.

"You know, Sakura," he said, trying his best to imitate the shaky and rather dumb voice Lee had when he was drunk. "I've had a lot to drink and you're beginning to look pretty good." He watched, slightly amused, as Sakura's face slowly began to turn deep, beet red. Her shoulders tensed and her fists clenched. Neji swore her face just might explode in a few seconds, and couldn't help but think that he would never find her attractive even if he drank all of Lee and Tsunade's sake.

"Ne-ji..!" Sakura hissed dangerously. Neji raised an eyebrow and took this utterance as a signal to run, which he most certainly did. He dropped his sake and ran for it, turning his head back only once to see Hinata desperately trying to restrain her enraged companion and trying even harder not to laugh.

He shook his head and ran back to his and Sasuke's meeting place, finding Sasuke, this time, on his knees and shaking with laughter.

"My god!" he shouted without looking up. "You. Looked. So. Stupid!! I really thought you were drunk!" He stopped and continued the stream of laughter, as Neji watched, slightly red and very much annoyed. He opened his mouth to say something but a piercing shout interrupted him.

"Neji!!" Neji turned and saw the still very red Haruno Sakura coming toward him, Hinata following behind, failing to control her giggles.

"I'm s-sorry N-Neji," she laughed lightly. "I-I couldn't s-stop her." She too was now clutching her stomach to prevent the unstoppable laughter. Neji's eyebrow rose slightly and soon he was faced with the angry pink haired Haruno, who wound her hand back behind her and let her fist fly, in a punch usually reserved for Naruto and his stupidity. Her hand connected with Neji's face, sending the brunette-haired shinobi hurtling onto his back. Before he hit the ground, however, he positioned his feet underneath him and managed to maintain the balance he had lost only a moment ago. He touched his fingers to the stinging skin on his cheek and sighed.

"I deserved that," he admitted, his eyes closing resignedly. Sakura snorted.

"The nerve!" she shouted, turning on her heel and marching away, muttering angrily to herself. Neji stood and watched her go, his hand still on his face where she had punched him. It's just a good thing she didn't bitch slap me (1). He thought, turning angrily to face Sasuke, whose laughter had increased what seemed like a thousand fold.

"You can stop now," he growled. Sasuke nodded, having as much success controlling his laughter as before. Neji scoffed and grabbed the list from the Uchiha, looking it over. His face twisted in disgust. Every single line on that god damn piece of paper sucked. It wasn't even worth Naruto's time to try any of these out.

Neji sighed and his eyes found his cousin, still trying desperately to control her laughter. Ah, well. He thought. Might as well. His eyes quickly returned to the list and he selected as humane a pick up line as he could and walked over to the black haired kunoichi, dreading every single step.

Ha!! Please tell me if that one was okay! I wasn't sure! I just wanted to diss Sakura!! Sasuke did too. Heheh.

1) Hyuuga Neji cannot be bitch slapped by Haruno Sakura!! It's just fucking not right!! And impossible. Sakura under any other circumstances would never be able to come within five feet of Neji.