It Hurts!

Shinji snapped awake at the sound of his alarm clock with a groan, his mind slowly leaving the fog of a dream. He reached out for the irritating bastard machinery and shut off the holographic wake up signal before rolling out of bed to sit on its edge for a second, a custom of his in the process of waking up his mind and body. He pinched his nose and looked at the clock which said 10 am, the alarm clock was set for 9 am so it must have been going off for at least an hour, the bottle of red wine and a stinging headache said why.

He stood up, slowly, while ignoring the pooling blood in his legs as he made his way to the bathroom in the nude, the heat of Rio Grande Do Sul made sleeping in clothes a sweat bath, a habit he carried over to Japan. He activated the shower and left it to heat up while he began his usual clean up routine. He looked up into the mirror to see the image of, what he would refer to as, shit.

His eyes were puffy and red from the hours of crying himself to sleep, his hair was a mess from the restless night full of nightmares and a swollen lip from where he had punished himself for his weakness.

He splashed water on his face, a cold slap on a the face, before getting a cloth and washing away the dirt from the previous night. The persistent drum of the shower sounded like a bass echo of a thousand drums thundering away inconsistently. Realising that washing his face would not be the key to a full wake up call, he turned the showers temperate to a chill, manning up his courage to step into it.

For the last two years Shinji had been a classic bed king. He slept naked, limbs hanging out of the quilt in odd positions and usually spread out in the weirdest, and sometimes unnatural, positions a human could achieve. His habits in the shower fell under a similar category. He was generally clumsy in the morning but the freezing cold shower was equal to a slap in the face with a wet fish, if the impact did not break your jaw then being awake would be an understatement. The shower spray hit his back and made him yelp and jump while knocking over the shower gels and shampoos.

Shinji instantly woke up and went to work cleaning his body spending about twenty minutes in the shower before stepping out to two fan heaters and a heated towel.

As he was drying off he started to consider his plans for today when a beep from the door alerted him to a person coming to see him. Shinji rolled out the crack in his neck before wrapping a towel around his waist opening the door to his room.

He stared wide eyed for a moment at the red head who was glancing over his body appreciatively. He was still getting used to Asuka being shorter than him and the kink in his neck was returning.

"Hey, Asuka," he acknowledged, noticing that his voice sounded really gravely today. "Uh...do you want to come in?" he asked, snapping her out of her fixation. She nodded her thanks and walked in as he moved out of the way before closing the door behind her. He looked at her and noticed she was wearing his favourite sun dress; the yellow one with the blue choker and that beautiful straw hat.

He noticed the cups of coffee in her hands and thanked her before returning to the bathroom with a set of clothes, he left the door slightly open so he could talk to her while he changed. "What's up, I didn't expect to see you here,"

Asuka took a seat at his desk and smoothed her hands over the surface as she looked around his room. "'Just wanted to talk about some stuff," was her only response as she turned on his computer.

Shinji entered the room again in a black shirt with faded red cuffs and collar, Khakis and black socks. He glanced at Asuka, slightly annoyed she was delving into his computer without permission but he was not in much of an argumentative mood. The whole thing with Maria, Axel and the others at Rio Grande Do Sul had shaken him. For three days he had visited the hospital and that was it; he just could not face NERV or the worries of the world. It was very hard for him to swallow down that, apart from Maria, Axel and Hailum, everyone was dead. Their faces were still fresh in his mind; their voices, laughs and smiles, anger, disappointment and friendship. It was like a black hole had opened up and swallowed them whole. All of his experiences, emotions and dreams with them were all gone.

Maria had gotten better and Ritsuko had said three weeks of care and she could be released while Hailum would be there for another two months. Hailum had been fighting for survival for the last two days in the hospital with multiple operations and a lot of drugs forced on on his body. Shinji could barely stand looking at him. He was like vegetable; the intensity of the drugs had relaxed his body so much that he could not move a single muscle. Motor controls were lax and he could not control his bodily functions. Shinji almost broke down when Hailum had cried when he soiled himself. It was extremely difficult.

"We're going to get them, Ikari."

Shinji looked up at that, having been in deep thought as soon as his mind had wandered. He turned to Asuka and noted the determined and fierce expression she had. Shinji knew that look more than anyone and understood what Asuka was saying, what she meant. From her face he could tell that she was going to use every resource, contact and military power to hunt these bastards down.

Shinji closed his eyes. The faces of all those that had died at Rio Grande Do Sul flashed through his mind. He had lost them, lost so much. Shinji could recognise the feelings of hate building inside of him; he wanted revenge, he wanted to hurt them just as much himself. He shook his head. He was above that; above an eye for an eye, above hurting those who also hurt others. No. Alicia, Roger and the rest would want these men brought to justice, to be known for their crimes and suffer the best punishment the authorities could devise. Enacting injustice in the name of justice was just not so.

Shinji took a deep breath and opened his eyes and nodded to Asuka with an equal expression determination. He then smiled at her which did a little more than take her aback. "Thank you, Asuka, I really needed to hear that," he said sincerely.

Asuka blushed and waved off his thanks. She looked from his left eye then all the way down to his knee then back up to the right eye. "Let's go out."

Shinji did a double take and took a step back. "Huh, wha…!?"

Asuka giggled girlishly before standing up to grab him by the hand. It was Shinji's turn to blush as he looked down at their joined hands. Wait....is she asking me out on a date? Holy shit! Yes!

"We were meant to have that date at the beach, but I think where we're going today is much better," she smiled up at him, reminding Shinji their height difference. There was something empowering about people looking up at you... he would have to watch that.

"Where are we going?" he asked, trying to restrain his wandering eyes. Being a guy was tough work; wandering eyes and sexual impulses were hard to suppress and the love of your life shows up in your bedroom wearing a mid-thigh-length yellow sun. Toji was right, she is a tease...

"You'll see. Come on! You only live once, right?" her words were suggestive but her actions were downright brutal as she opened the door, placed her foot on Shinji's behind—pausing to note its tightness—before kicking him out the door.

Kensuke rolled his neck around the bracer below his chin. He changed to fifth gear before deciding to rip the bracer off. He already knew Reiko, his wife, was going to tear him a new one.

Kensuke was a man who had changed for the better; for NERV, for his friends, for love, and slowly, for his unborn child.

Yet...

War was coming, and it was coming fast. The latest incidents with Brazil, the bombing of the Japanese government office and the rise in global conflicts was filling his stomach with dread. NERV's public relations were going haywire, the U.N was powerless without a face to blame, and some nations were looking at their enemies with an upped war budget. To say the world was going through a pretty shit phase would be an understatement.

Kensuke approached his house... his home, and quickly pulled out some tramadol. He downed two pills to quell the rising pain in his chest. He hoped that if he looked less damaged than he was then he would perhaps get off lightly. Reiko had been, and was, quite vocal about his work with NERV and sometimes violently so. It didn't help she was six months pregnant with his daughter. He was not home enough for her tastes and the pregnancy had reduced her to a very bored housewife. She hoped Kensuke could alleviate this problem. His absences had not been favourable to their marriage of late.

He pulled into his drive and turned the engine off, sitting in his car to collect his thoughts. Reiko did not know where he had been. Anything NERV-related would set her off about how most of his work was borderline inhumane and unethical. For that reason, he needed to protect her from the truth. If he ever wanted out of this he would have to keep many more secrets from her. Reiko, however, was far from ignorant, a quality that had been an extreme attraction for him... and a source of frightful insight into his occupation. To this day, it was a struggle trying to defend his work and an even bigger issue finding time to show how much he loved her.

He rubbed his arm for a moment before manning up and getting out of the car and walking into his house. He noted the smell of a cooking meal and wondered if someone had called in to tell Reiko that he was on his way.

Shrugging, he walked into the guest room to quickly check his appearance. No matter how he fixed himself he still looked like a guy out of his grave. A long cut slashing through his neck and up to his lip with stitches threading through and turning the skin a horrible red. The bruises on his temple and the band aid on his cheek made him look like a figure far from health.

Sighing, Kensuke left the room while going in the fridge and rummaging for his favourite can of coke. He walked into the living room and stopped dead. Looking at him was his wife, Reiko, her father, mother, three sisters and brother. At first Reiko looked surprised to see him but that soon turned into an expression of horror as she stared at her husband. "What-what have you done to yourself?" she asked. "What have they done to you?"

Kensuke applied a smile to his lips as his mind raced with excuses.

"Uh..." he glanced between shocked faces as he slowly raised his coke. "Anyone want a drink of coke?" The silence that greeted him was deafening. The father was far from impressed and the mother looked at Reiko questioningly. The sisters were the only ones who didn't seem fazed as they were sleeper cell agents for NERV; they were in the know after all.

"Uh..." the brother began, turning everyone's eyes on him. He blushed and glanced around nervously. "Do you have any Pepsi?"

Kensuke burst out laughing

"OOOOHHH!" Shinji screamed as the ride reached the peak before its fall, Asuka looking a little too enthusiastic about the inevitable drop.

"GO!" she shouted out before the roller-coaster slammed down the sharp descent.

"SHHHHIIIIIT!" Shinji cried like a man falling to his death while Asuka screamed in joy, arms above her head.

This was their ninth ride on a hardcore roller-coaster and Asuka had no plans of stopping. By all rights, Shinji should not have been surprised when she brought him here. What did he expect from the wild red head? A stroll on the beach, sightseeing, bird watching, fruit picking? Hell no!

Asuka was as wild as they came; she was like that little girl who was always quiet and respectable when necessary, but could turn viscous and gluttonous when a chocolate cake was presented to her. As soon as they had walked into the theme park it had been like someone had let Asuka off her hellish leash.

The only thing Shinji had going for him was his strong stomach which could handle the rides... or perhaps that was a curse considering he had no excuse to not go on them with her. The bumper cars were the worst, he had thought that would be easy, he had fallen for the stereotype of girls being too soft to handle the rough ride. Somehow, Asuka had made him feel the roles were reversed. She had loved it so much she paid for all the bumper cars and asked that Shinji's bumper be immobile so she could use the entire area as a run up just to ram him. The brutality of her enthusiasm as she rammed into him was downright wrong.

The fifteen minute ride of hell came to an abrupt end and Shinji practically fell out of the ride. His head spinning as Asuka landed neatly beside him. "What's next?" she asked looking around. Shinji groaned and fell down onto his back to allow his tortured mind to catch up.

"N-no more rides," he wheezed as his head moved back and forth to try and counteract the dizziness swimming through his skull. Asuka pouted and knelt beside his head, being careful to tuck in her dress behind her knees so as not to give the pervert a free view.

"You really can't handle the rides, can you?" He groaned in response at her with his eyes closed. He groaned louder when Asuka started poking him with a stick. She dropped the stick and stood up and looked off into the distance. She looked down at the wimp and gently kicked him in the shoulder. "Haunted mansion?"

Shinji nodded and slowly got up.

They slowly made their way to the haunted mansion with Shinji wavering from side to side. He had faced Angels, he could handle a little haunted mansion. He did wonder how Asuka would fare in the haunted mansion before mentally kicking himself; that kind of generalisation was just going to lead to a repeat of the bumper cars situation. They paid for the tickets and entered. The screams coming from inside made Shinji frown and Asuka smile. Shinji felt arms tangle with his and he looked down to his left as Asuka held onto him. She looked up at him with those beautiful blue eyes. He held her gaze to the point that he only realized he was leaning forward for a kiss when a ghost jumped out of nowhere and screamed, forcing his head back from Asuka's. So close!

He looked at the ghost with the thought of right-hooking it across the room. Asuka was giggling at him, Shinji ushered her along through the mansion, embarrassed.

To the creator's credit, the mansion was fairly scary but nothing the pair found more than heart pumping which was a lot more than they had expected. Their only qualm was that at one point a lizard man had jumped out of nowhere and screamed at them. The lizard was white with red lipstick. Shinji saw the instant likeness to the mass production Evangelion that had fought unit 02 just before third impact. Asuka had been frozen solid with a blank expression on her face. Shinji's protectiveness had flared up and drop-kicking the UM Eva look-alike was barely resistible.

Just as he was about to intercept the lizard, Asuka's arms tugged him. He had looked back to see her take a deep breath and smile at the creature before nodding to it and leading them along. She had been shaken, however, evidenced by her silence, her erratic eye movements and knuckle white grip on his arm.

Shinji felt it was time for a break.

They went to a café and sat down. Asuka got a hot chocolate with cream and Shinji ordered Chinese tea. "You okay?" he asked her. Asuka had been very quiet since they had left the haunted mansion and right now she sat with her arms crossed, looking away. Her posture was very defensive posture, she appeared detached.

She glanced at him and sighed. She unfolded her arms and scooted her chair forward. "Yeah, just didn't expect it, you know?"

Shinji nodded at that, it was completely understandable; no one could be completely fine meeting with a look-alike of a being who had near-killed them. "But you handled it so well, I was about to deck the guy-"

"And then you wouldn't have handled it at all if you did," she interrupted which caused Shinji to blush. Asuka's face softened. "Thank you, for being protective of me." Shinji smiled at her thanks. "Though, was that the first or second time?" she asked mischievously.

Shinji blinked in confusion at that. He glanced up as the waitress brought them their drinks and they thanked her. "What do you mean?"

Asuka leaned in, the smile still plastered on her face as her eyelids lowered slightly over her eyes. Oh shit... He thought in slight panic. "Well, you were about to kiss me and that ghost interrupted," she explained to him, licking her lips.

You bitch! You know what that does to me! Oh man...

"Uh..." He sounded like such an idiot. "Well-" He stopped. He thought back to a book on dating he had once read called 'Women Come from Another Planet.' He tried to remember the section about lose-lose situations. "When presented with a question with two answers but both possibly leading to upsetting the questioner, you should: A) Go for it, what do you have to lose? B) Ask a question back resulting in an 80% chance of changing the subject and C) refer to answer A."

"I was annoyed that he..." he trailed off as Asuka's eyes widened, searching his. "That he interrupted our kiss." It was his turn to lick his lips at the thought. He glanced at her full, ruby red lips and quickly took a careful sip of his tea.

"Do you want to kiss me now?"

Shinji slowly looked up to her eyes, mouth ajar and lowered his cup. "F-for real?"

Asuka seemed to consider that for a moment, her eyes dropping to his lips. "Yeah," she whispered. "Yeah, yes..."

Shinji's mind jumped back to the book. "If you are ever passed back the ball on a one to three base situation, best to play it as close to the chest as possible. She'll normally give it to you when she's unsure and it generally will not be a way to assess you. Only at third base are you allowed to play it away from the chest but not too quickly. You might get lucky and she might just have initial fears until the process has started. To increase your luck, do it in private or non populated areas. Unlike you, she will be very self conscious about being seen."

Shinji almost asked her if she wanted to go outside when his brain snapped off a reminder. "As a quick note, DON'T ask her to change location when in a one to three base situation. If you're already mobile then quickly lead her towards a secluded location."

"Do you want to go somewhere private and do it?" Asuka asked now with a slight blush.

"She offered; now it gets tricky. There's no lose-lose or win-win situation here, for the health of the relationship you should offer an alternative from the bases unless you KNOW, not think, not hope, KNOW she still wants to. If you are going to go through with it, be honest in your feelings, don't try to man up, if you're both nervous then at least you have a measure of comfort in knowing that neither of you can judge the other based on past experiences."

"I'd like that..." Asuka smiled and blushed at the same time.

"But…" He bit his lip at Asuka's deflating expression. "I really like you, and I really enjoyed today and all the stuff we did. However, I think you're kind of vulnerable after the whole mansion thing and I know you want this, but I want you to want this because I made you feel really special." Asuka seemed interested now, not confused or disappointed. "I'm not good with this kind of situation, but I want you to feel like a queen when and if you do feel like kissing me again."

Asuka just stared at him for a while and then gave him weird smile. "I've never been rejected before, at least, not like that," she finally said.

"I-" He began in panic.

"No, no! I didn't mean that in a bad way, it's just different that's all," she tried, trying to fix Shinji's misunderstanding before he went into apology-mode. "I-I'm actually kind of honoured that you would want to do that for me, and that you thought that far ahead. It's quite endearing," she said, still blushing.

Shinji smiled at that, his ego recovering. Asuka leaned forward then and kissed his lips. Shinji was mentally blown off his feet.

He became enveloped in the light flicker of her lips on his; warm, soft, wet and slightly hesitant. He could have; yet, something told him not to open his mouth. Asuka had been one of his first kisses, at least the first he could remember. There was a history and familiarity the two shared as if their chemistry was natural. He enjoyed the kiss that lasted a few minutes before they separated. She blushed and giggled.

"What?" she asked at his blasted look. "You said I could kiss you when you made me feel like a queen," she said with a slightly raised pitch.

Shinji just stared at her like she was a Goddess come down from heaven. He shook his head in wonder and did not hold back from licking his lips and tasting traces of raspberry on them. She leaned forward and nudged him. "Stop it, if you keep that up and I'll be all over you!"

"Go Shin-man!" a voice exclaimed behind Shinji and he turned around to spot Toji and Hikari entering the café. "I knew you had it in you, so what was it like? Did she drink your blood? Did you feel her sucking out your soul?" he asked before exhaling sharply as Hikari elbowed him rather hard.

"Don't say things like that about Asuka! And what am I feeding you?" she hissed rubbing her sore arm. "Your stomach is like steel!" she growled at him. "Sorry we're late, Asuka. Toji had a basketball game to finish."

"So, Shin-man, ready to go to the F1 tonight?" Toji asked, waving two tickets. Shinji looked at Asuka confused. He'd never been told about this, let alone that Toji and Hikari were planning to meet them. Asuka just smiled at him and waved him off.

"Me and Hikari are going shopping, that's why I needed Toji to come and bring his four by four without the back seats. We're going to need the space," she answered.

"Don't scratch my car, I know you women drivers," Toji warned Asuka.

"Toji..." Hikari began shaking her head at him. "You've crashed five times. And four of those times you just drove off..." Shinji broke into a fits of hysterics at that, tears streaming down his face.

"Shut up, Shinji! Damn it, Hikari!" he groaned.

"You started it," she defended.

"But you stole my thunder... shit."

"Like you had any thunder to steal, Toji," Asuka added.

"Whatever. Let's go, Shinji. I want to go McDonalds before it starts."

"KFC's healthier and it does have the best chicken in the world," Shinji said after calming down. There were still a few chuckles in between his words.

"Point taken... Let's roll," he said hastening his words. After being showed up, his pride was slightly damaged from extricating himself from the hole he had dug for himself. The sexist jokes would have to be more resilient and elaborate in future.

The men left the girls to their own devices. For the most part shopping was uneventful for Asuka and Hikari. They had shopped so much that they were afraid they had been steadily catching up to the impossible; ahead of style. As such they found themselves stopping less and being more conservative in their buying; not too good when committed to a shopping spree.

"So how was it?" Hikari asked

Asuka had been staring at a silver necklace with a small emerald in the centre when Hikari called to her. "Hmm?"

"The date and the kiss, of course," she badgered. Asuka had actually been thinking about the date, and more importantly, the kiss ever since they had left to go shopping.

She placed her fingers on her lips and considered the question. "The date was really nice, I could tell he wasn't into the rides but he put up with it for me."

"That's what counts," Hikari added with a shake of her head. "Toji didn't really liked some of the things I liked, but, I don't know, when we went to the theatre he started to get into. He started commenting on the actors performance and the props. I really enjoyed it." There was a faraway look in her eyes as they approached a pub, The Ryuuma.

"Damn it, Hikari, you know good looking girls like us should never step into the predator's den unless there is more than three. There's just two of us!" Asuka started.

"Nuh-uh, I read guys don't like approaching pairs. They don't want to separate the two leaving the other behind and they don't really have the courage to ask both and pay for their drinks," was Hikari's matter of fact response.

Asuka glanced at Hikari as if she had asked if lions were herbivores. "Since when?"

There was a pause before Hikari shrugged. "I want to be a tease and get free drinks, you happy now?" Hikari admitted.

Asuka mockingly gasped. "Hikari," she breathed. "Toying with a man's heart is just going to get them hurt... But I'm game. Lately I feel kind of washed out, you know?" Hikari nodded. "Not to mention my bank won't let me pull any more money out without calling for authorization. It's Easier to get someone to pay for us."

"Same. Shall we?" Hikari ushered Asuka towards the pub

The girls entered the pub and passed the bouncers who wished them a goodnight before stopping a sixteen year old with a fake I.D. They scanned the interior, noting the strong smell of alcohol and the sweet nauseating hint of bile. One man was sitting with a pint and a bottle whiskey, drinking his worries away. Two girls were boldly hammering down a bottle of Everlast. A roar in the back around a pool table signalled the end of a game, and a group of postgraduates were celebrating while taking turns at shots of tequila, the salt looking very suspect. The queue for the bar must have had half of the pub's patrons lined up for it.

Hikari tapped Asuka's shoulder and directed her towards a free table where they could sit. They sat down and rested, glancing around at all the people. "A lot of three to ones here today, well only two ones I can see." Asuka began, scanning the male occupants of the Ryuuma.

"Yeah, there's almost an equal amount of 'five and below' to 'five and above,'" Hikari frowned and shook her head. "I'm starting to sound like you," she moaned to herself.

"What's that? You're starting to sound perfect?" Asuka asked innocently.

Hikari groaned at that and decided to text Toji about being home late. "Any eye-contact yet?" she asked.

"Yeah, three ones and four fives. That one looks like he has a full wallet, but he's only getting VK."

"Maybe he's starting off light before hitting the heavier stuff?"

"That or he's the guy who's going to have to ride everyone and there cousin home," Asuka replied.

"So...how's it all going? It's coming closer to the date," Hikari asked quietly.

Asuka lightly rubbed her neck as a guy looked over to her, but her mind was elsewhere. "I'm okay. I'm always okay until the date of the Horizon event. I can hold it all in until that day, but this time… this time I think I'll bring Shinji instead of Martin," she replied.

Hikari watched her friend as she slightly batted her eyelids. "Playing a bit too thick, Asuka. Bring it down some," she advised, noting Asuka's slight stiffness.

Asuka looked away and then to Hikari, a slightly thoughtful expression on her face. "I'm going to bring him, for sure." She paused. "I really want to tell him what happened, but… No." She shook her head. "I need to tell him what happened, it's just going to be difficult."

Hikari looked worriedly at her friend and placed a hand over hers. "Asuka, don't push yourself. He doesn't have to know yet," she whispered softly.

Asuka shook her head at that. "He does Hikari. I did something terrible to him because of it. I never told him why, and if it's such a big scar on my psyche that everyone makes it out to be..." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "...Then he must know, more for my sake than his. Shinji. Shinji is one of the few people who can understand me, who I feel really connected to, like a lifeline." She blushed some then. "I really like him, when I go to bed all I can think about is his warmth, his smell, his voice and now..." She placed two fingers against her lips. "…his taste. He's all I can think about these days." She looked her friend dead in the eye and almost whimpered. "Hikari, when you're upset or low, do you ever crave Toji's chest? His warmth, his security?"

Hikari smiled, noticing the conditions of love that her friend could not see. "Of course, every time. I'd go crazy without him." Hikari glanced up to see a guy staring at her before looking down to Asuka. "Guys are useless most of the time, but the few things they are good for make them that much more worth it. Do you want that from Shinji?" she asked.

Asuka's face turned to a frown of disgust and she quickly shook her head in the negative. "Definitely not!" Her tone was evidently distasteful. She looked away. Hikari sat quietly and stared at her friend for a full minute before Asuka looked back, like a girl caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "I need it, like a drug addiction. Damn it, Hikari, how did you do it?" she whined, looking at her friend accusingly.

Hikari giggled as a guy came over and offered to buy both of them a drink. Asuka thanked him but quickly turned him away, it seemed her mind was specifically on one guy and second best was not on the menu. "In all honesty, Asuka, getting Toji was child's play compared to what you and Shinji have." She covered her grin as Asuka bit her inner lip and pouted. "But with your stubbornness and his will to never give up... you might not be able to resist killing each other long enough to get married. Oh, but you two already are!" she laughed outright as Asuka blushed before joining in.