A/N: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You all are too kind in the reviews you leave me. Seriously, I've never had so much inspiration. All of you who read and review are so amazing! I love you guys so much! Well, enough about my little rant. Here's the next chapter! It's a little short because I'm leaving for a party soon, but I wanted to give you all something. Read and Review when you're done!

Chapter 15- Say Hello, Not Goodbye

It was a dark morning. The sun hid its warmth behind the thick, gloomy clouds while fast, wet rain poured from the sky. That was unusual considering that it rarely rained this summer. There was no thunder or lightning, and it wasn't a downpour. Just raining, as if the precipitation had no identity. Just something that was there without a purpose.

And of course it had to be the dark, depressing day. Today was the day. The day that would change everything. The day that fate would decided if Lucas and I were really meant to be together.

I stared out the window in my bedroom watching the rain tap against the glass. It couldn't have been a more terrible day. It was if my once perfect world was coming to end. As if my great romance novel was finished without a sequel. I didn't move or say anything. I just stared. I had been in the same exact place for almost two hours waiting for ten o'clock to come.

Waiting for Lucas to come.

It felt like the walls were trapping me, not so tight that I couldn't breathe, but they were definately too close for comfort. I felt like I couldn't leave were I was sitting even if I desperately wanted to. Fear and pain kept me in place. All my other emotions were jumping around.

Down the road, I could hear the rumbling of cars, but I knew none of them were Lucas'. He wouldn't be here for another twenty minutes. Last night, he promised me that he would come here before he left. We had to say our goodbyes, though I critically wanted to hear him say that he wasn't leaving. That I had dreamt it all, and it was still the beginning of summer. That he would never leave me.

But I knew none of those were possibilities. I knew the difference between what was real and what was not.

My breath began to fog the window slightly. I lifted my hand and wiped away the moist haze from the glass. All I could do was sigh.

This felt like a dream that I wouldn't wake up from. Life just seemed to swirl around me, and I couldn't keep up with it. I couldn't stop it or slow it down. Everything seemed useless, hopeless, and meaningless. The memories with Lucas that would make me happy just seemed to move past my grasp, creating no affect on me.

"Peyton?"

I turned my head slowly around to find my Dad standing in my doorway. He leaned against the frame before he stepped inside. I looked at him for a moment, but then quickly turned my head back to the window with out saying a word.

I felt his warm hand touch my shoulder. "You okay?"

I glared up at him, but then softened my expression. I shouldn't be taking my anger and sadness out on him. "No. Not really," I answered truthfully, but calmly. I watched as he seemed to be searching for the right words to say.

"You'll be okay."

I swallowed hard. "You don't know that. You can't know that."

I heard him sigh loudly. "You're right. I don't know that. But I do know that you're going to get through this." He reached for one of the mahogany colored chairs in my room and sat down next to me. "Everything is going to be fine, Peyt. You can't let something like this make you so upset."

I maneuvered my body toward him. "Dad, I'm sorry, but you don't know how I feel right now. You haven't been in my shoes before," I said my gaze still fixed out the window.

He took a quick deep breath. "Yes, I have. I lost my wife, your mom, forever. Lucas is still here on Earth."

I didn't answer to that. I just looked up into his serious eyes.

"You're going to get over this, and then maybe you'll find someone else who loves-"

I cut him off. "No. I won't find someone else. I want Lucas. That's all," my voice was a little harsher than what I intended. My father simple ignored it and raised his hands in defeat. I shook my head. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just really going to miss him."

He nodded. "I know, you will. He probably feels the exact same way right now."

I took a deep breath before speaking again. "I love him, Dad."

He gave me a look. The look I've always known. The one that says that I have no idea what I'm talking about.

I stared at him, searching for any change in his expression. "I do love him. Can't you try to understand that?" I asked almost pleading him to. He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. Without another word, he walked out of my bedroom door.

These were the times when I wished that my mother was around. I knew that she would know how to deal with situations like this. She was always good with the whole healing process. This was supposed to be her job. Not my Dad's.

I looked back toward the window and saw Lucas' white truck pull up to my house. He was ten minutes early. Ten minutes too soon. I sighed loudly and got off my bed slowly. This was something that I did not want to face, I was dreading this, actually.

I heard the doorbell ring as I began to walk down the stairs. My father began to get up from the chair in the kitchen, but I motioned for him to remain seated. "I'll get it." He nodded his head as I trudged to the front door.

When I opened it, I found something that I hadn't expected. Lucas had a look of sadness etched across his face. He was supposed to be the brave one, and I would be the one sobbing loudly. But this wasn't the case. Although it was raining, I could tell his tears from the rain drops.

To me, this was the saddest, most upsetting event that my eyes had ever seen. I had never predicted that Lucas would be like this.

I swallowed hard. It wasn't supposed to be this way. He was supposed to hold me, and tell me that everything would work out. Instead, he reached for me, pulling my body toward his. He rested his head on my shoulder, and began to cry a little harder. I wrapped my arms securly around his neck, while placing a kiss upon his temple.

I didn't pay any attention to the fact that the rain was pouring on us. I just focused on being here with Lucas, savoring the little time we had left. Lucas buried his face into my neck, letting his lips kiss the spot they landed on. I rubbed my hands up and down the back of his neck trying to soothe him.

Previous memories of Lucas and I began to flood back into my mind causing me to lose my strength. I tried fighting the urge to cry, but I couldn't do it any longer. I let the hot tears spill slowly from my eyes.

He lifted his head slightly to look at me. I sucked in a mouthful of air, trying my hardest not to let him see me cry. I didn't want to be vulnerable right now. I just couldn't bare it.

He ran his hands through my now soaked hair. Lucas pounded his lips onto mine. The kiss was urgent and hard, as if we would never see eachother again. I didn't like that feeling so I abruptly pulled away.

He looked down at me with confusion. I shook my head slightly. "Stay with me, Luke."

I knew it was a selfish thing to say. A selfish thing to ask of him. But I couldn't help what I wanted most. I just wanted for him to be with me forever and never leave me. I wanted him all to myself, and I didn't want to have to share him with anyone. Not even his family.

He licked his lips. "Peyton..."

More tears began to sting my eyes. "Please, Lucas," I said while my voice began to crack. "Please don't leave me. I need you."

He closed his eyes and shook his head slightly from side to side. "I can't Peyton. I can't. If I could I would, and you know that. I don't want to leave, but I have to, and I'm sorry." He hugged me tighter. "I love you. I do."

I swallowed a lump in my throat. "I love you too."

With that, he kissed me again sending waves of sadness through my body. It was almost impossible to see myself with out him. I had grown so used to the fact of having him, that I guess I expected him to always be there. Sometimes it's extrememly painful to let go of the one you love the most.

I pulled away from his kiss, and looked deep into his eyes. "You'll call me, right?" I asked in barely a whisper.

He nodded his head. "Everyday."

"You promise?" I asked. I needed to be sure, to have reassurance.

He pecked me lightly on my lips. "I promise."

"And you'll visit me?" I asked needing to here him tell me.

"Whenever I can."

I didn't like the sound of that. What if he never could? I began to open my mouth to speak again, but our conversation was interrupted when I heard the loud honking of Lucas' truck. I looked past Lucas to see Brad sitting inside of it. I felt the tears threaten to come pouring back out any second now.

Lucas looked back and held up his hand, as if to ask for just one more minute. He turned toward me again and hugged me tightly as the warm, sticky rain continued to fall. I took a fistful of his jacket and clutched it in my hands. He couldn't leave me. I wasn't ready. It was too soon.

"I have to go now, Peyton," he said, hurt laced in his soft voice.

It took all my strength to let go of his jacket. I nodded my head and pursed my lips together. He leaned down and kissed me quickly before he turned back to the white truck.

"I love you!" he called loudly to me, obviously not caring who heard him.

I smiled as my tears began to seep from my green orbs. "I love you too!"

I watched himjog lightly and get into the car. He waved to me, and I sadly waved back. I watched as they drove down the wet dirt road until they were completely out of sight. This was going to be harder than I thought.

I went back inside, ignoring my father's presence as I went straight to my room. I cried myself to sleep that night. I cried so hard that if someone didn't know any better, they would have thought I was suffocating.

My father didn't dare to come in my room. He was tempted to a couple of times. I could tell by the slow steps coming up the stairs, but he knew that it was best to just give me some time to myself.

Sadness is a simple word that means affected by unhappiness or grief. It's like when the heart spirals into a deep hole and can't find it's way out. It shatters the warmth and confidence from within and the feeling of safety and love quickly diminishes. Longing and confusion fills the abyss.

The "lucky ones" can get back up hastily with the support of close bond and with their own realization that life does go on.

But there are those who are not so lucky, like me. I was experiencing deeper trauma than my body could mentally, physicall, and emotionally take. It was like I couldn't reach out for the light that was so close to me. It would just slip away sending me deeper into the hole.

A week passed since Lucas had left, and I became harder inside, a little bit colder. My father really couldn't understand me. I was always subtle and evasive from pryful ones. I was not okay. I would never be okay. My longing for Lucas would somestimes mislead me from my better judgment, causing me to make rash decisions.

This was too much. Way too much for a seventeen year old to have to deal with.

Although, Lucas did call me everyday. But when the week was passing, the conversations gradually became shorter. It began to scare me. I was trying so hard not to convince myself that Lucas didn't want me anymore.

Leave a review! BTW, this was definately not the last chapter.