The Mirror

I'm not giving up on this. I've typed this chapter up three times already, and it kept getting lost or something, so I was kind of discouraged for a while. :/ But here it is.

Watching the Night Go By

I don't recall spending so much time on the shore of a beach, drinking nothing but a bottle of mind-numbing Bacardi 151. It was insane how I was walking around alone with such a high-proof alcoholic drink, but it didn't matter to me. I was regretting breaking things off with Karen. I didn't know why I did that. In my rage, I guess I wasn't able to control the bitterness I felt. I called Fillmore to make sure I didn't do anything stupid. It was a wonder that I was still walking straight after downing five gulps of the drink. I was, however, feeling a little dizzy already.

I suppose my alcohol tolerance is pretty high because of how I grew up. My father owns a liquor business here, and he's been, for the most part, successful. Even as a kid, I'd already developed a taste for the stuff. My liver probably hates me for the abuse I've been giving it, but the good die young, don't they?

Oh my, not again. I'm having the wrong thoughts again. This is ridiculous. Where the hell is Fillmore?

I stumble on the shore. It's ridiculous, really. The shore wasn't even that sloped, and yet here I am, stumbling.

Wayne Legitt, don't do anything stupid, I thought.

"Wayne, is that you?"

"Who's there?" I said, going into a defensive stance.

"Relax, buddy. It's just me."

Oh. It was O'Farrell. Thank God. But I didn't want him to see me like this. I was half-drunk and pretty much depressed. It was impossible to get my mind off of Karen. I needed to apologize. I needed time, though, to compose myself and figure out what I needed to say to her. That I spoke before I thought, and that I should've been more understanding towards her.

"Wayne, you're talking out your thoughts."

"What?" I hadn't even realized I was talking. "Shit, sorry, Danny. I'm just... not dealing well with the post-break-off-for-a-while repercussions. You understand, right?"

"You're talking in slurs, but I understand what you're saying." he said. He was surprisingly very mature now. Still childish, a little clumsy, but mature nonetheless. He was actually taller than I was now. "Gimme that." He took the bottle from my hands and took a swig.

"151. No wonder you're tripping over your own feet." he said. "Don't worry, bud, pain is evanescent."

"Cheers to that." I said. "Pain is ephemeral."

It only occurred to me that O'Farrell drank. What the hell? How come I never noticed that?

"So you drink now?"

"Yeah. My sister took me to a party that changed my life." he said. "It was insane. One of those open party things and she had me drink like there was no tomorrow. Bad influence she is." he said, laughing at the memory. "I woke up with such a headache, but she came to my bed that day and told me she was proud of me. Apparently I made out with one of her friends that night."

"No kidding. I didn't think you've kissed a girl yet. No offense." I said. "Or a guy."

"Nah, it was a girl. At least that's what she said to me." he said. "I'm hoping I really did not make out with a guy, because that would be so wrong."

"Kid, homosexuality's pretty much acceptable these days, so no worries there."

"Well, I don't really accept it." he said. "It just doesn't seem right to me."

"Then you've got a good head on your shoulders." I said, taking another gulp of the drink. I felt it burn my throat, but I liked the feeling. "Just remember. Girls can break your heart. No matter how adorable, cute, beautiful, or charming they are, they will always hurt you. Pain, while short-lived, is inevitable. So you've got to find a girl that's worth it all in the end."

"That what you're trying to find out with Te-- Karen?" he said, fiddling with the string of something I couldn't see.

"Yeah. I'm sure she's worth it. But I'm not sure if she's for me."

He sighed. "Want me to be honest?"

"I appreciate honesty, Danny. I've been lied to too many times in my life."

"It seems like she still has it for Anza. They've always had it for each other, and that desire for each other has never seemed to diminish up to now. Quite frankly I was surprised when you two got together. I thought she was over him, but then he came back." he said, leaving the words And ruined it unsaid, but somehow lingering in the air. "Now I'm sure they're together somewhere."

I didn't doubt that. I had told Karen I needed time off, so who else would she run to? I mean, there was always Ingrid, but she and Fillmore had been together a lot lately that it seemed unlikely to me.

"They just want to fuck each other." I said, in my drunken stupor. I heard Danny laugh uncomfortably. I was losing it.

"You know, you should get home." he said. "Although I'm not quite sure how to get you home."

"Father knows I get drunk. He actually gave me the bottle." I said. Words were just slipping off my tongue. "Sorry Danny if I says anythings that are stupid." Oh God.

"O'Farrell?" I heard the voice of Fillmore exclaim from afar. "That you, man?"

I think I must have slumped to the ground at this point. I could barely make out what words they were saying. The last thing I remember, though, was Fillmore saying something along the lines of, "You'll be okay, buddy." And then I blacked out.

Holding On

Clutching on to his neck proved a far more difficult task than I had imagined. Closing my eyes made it possible for me to remain calm, as opening them made me dizzy beyond the kind of dizzy I had when we played a game of spinning in circles when I was a child. I remember actually scraping my knee because of that.

To him, however, whatever he was doing seemed so banal to him, as if he were simply walking to his room. I didn't feel much exertion in his muscles, but I felt that we were moving faster than what was deemed normal.

I chose to simply think. I didn't know where we were going. I didn't know what he was going to do with me. I didn't care if he was going to kill me. But a part of me also knew that he couldn't do such a thing. Then I thought of Wayne. It hurt me to see him hurt. It really did. I hated myself for being so cruel to him. But I couldn't force myself to feel something he wanted me to feel towards him. And that was to fall in love with him the way I fell in love with Joseph. I didn't intend for this to happen. I thought that Joseph would be gone forever. A part of me wished that he were still gone. Then none of this would've happened. Then again, another part wanted him here. I needed him here. I needed to know a lot of things.

I deserved to, didn't I?

He'd hurt me, and I couldn't just accept him with open arms, no matter how much I wanted to. So I decided to get some answers before making myself vulnerable to him. Who knew what he was planning to use me for. I wasn't sure of his intentions. I've been stupid before. But I learn from my mistakes.

Finally, I felt him slowing down. I decided opening my eyes was not an option until we came to a complete stop. Safety first, of course.

It occurred to me that we hadn't spoken a word throughout the entire time we were going here. I suppose he was in a deep reverie of his own. Although I wouldn't really know how he could both be lost in thought and move about as fast as a speeding car at the same time. Well. Joseph was an admirable multitasker back then, and I wouldn't be surprised if that trait retained. It may have even developed.

"Karen."

"Karen."

What?

"Huh?"

"Open your eyes." he said, his voice only above a whisper.

And I did. I opened my eyes to a clearing. I didn't know how deep we were in the woods, but this appeared to have been a camping ground before. I saw several edible plants nearby, and a flowing stream of fresh water to the left of the tree stump beside the fire pit. It was fairly beautiful and well-kept for a camping ground. Most of those I've been to weren't as cared for as this was. I could see it in the neatness of the way the things were arranged. Most of the things were arranged in a purposeful manner. I could only assume that Joseph had been here before.

He seated himself on the log beside the fire pit, and motioned for me to do the same.

"The transient period of our childhood was spent here in the Clandestine, and after we were changed, we decided we had to outgrow this. I still come here though, and I wouldn't be surprised if Jared still does. I'm waiting for the day when we would both go here again. Just like old times." he says, wistfully. "I do long for those days again, but sadly, destiny has decided to fulfill its course, and there is no going back anymore. I must commit myself to my task. It is also partially the reason why I am here again."

"Why exactly did you leave, Joseph? And why did you come back?"

"The most complex stories take the longest to be told." he said. "Destiny fulfilled a prophecy two years ago, when we discovered that we were a link to a centuries-old chain that has been in our family ever since. We have always had the daunting duty of protecting this town."

"Protecting this town from what?"

"Others like us. Only, with darker intentions. They intend to kill, to destroy, even to mutilate humans, and use them for wicked acts of sorcery. The time draws near as they are planning to ravage an attack. The danger is that we do not know when. And so, when we come of age, we are transformed. Into this."

"You're not making any sense, Joseph. Why would there be those things that would want to kill us?" I said, disbelieving. I didn't understand why this had to happen. Why us?

"Karen, do you recall the massacre of 1742? The background of the massacre is not what the history books tell us. The massacre occurred not because of radical actions, but rather because they condemned a man who cursed them before his death. He was an innocent Spellbinder, who only wished to protect them from the Dark Forces. The radicals only killed because of political unrest at the time, and because they thought that those who had killed before were those who concurred with their ideals. They were sadly mistaken, as the Dark Forces preyed upon this town due to their instability, and have since always sought human lives from this place to serve as their sacrifices in order to continue their dabbling with the dark magic." he said. I imagined all this going on in my head. I saw how gruesome it was. It was as if I had seen this somewhere before. It was as if I knew this happened, at the same time didn't.

"You have a part in this, Karen, somehow. Ever since Great Albrecht, my great ancestor, has spoken to me regarding this matter, I have been unable to shake your image from my mind, no matter how hard I tried. I don't know what you have to do here, but I pray that it is nothing that will cost your life." he says, reaching out his hands, as if wanting to hold mine, but didn't move to do so. I see a hint of emotion in his eyes, one of the few that I have seen since his return. "I will do everything I can do to protect you. But please promise me you will do the same to protect yourself."

"Is this why you saved me from the fall?"

"I saved you for two reasons. Indeed, one is because you are important to this. And because you're meant to live. Had you fallen, you would still be alive, but severely weakened. And that wouldn't do for either of us." he said. "It would only make things more complicated. Fate has its ways of making anything it aims to, to become true."

He didn't mention the second reason.

"I suppose you're right. Well. Thank you, then." I said. I didn't know what else to say. "What's the second reason?"

"Never mind that. All you should know is that you are important." he said. "It would be difficult to be without you."

He told me, before, that he still felt something for me. I don't know anymore if what he said was true. Or if he just wanted to make me feel better at the time.

I didn't know what to feel, or what to think. All I knew was that whatever this prophecy was, I had to play a part in it, whether I wanted to or not. I was in for a world of trouble, and I didn't know why it had to be me. I wanted to cry, but I felt as if my tears were locked in, as if they were telling me that you knew this all along, and that it shouldn't come as a surprise. All of my life I've always tried to find a purpose for mine. I suppose this was mine. Whatever this is.

I felt his icy hands on mine. I let myself open up to him, and I felt myself in his embrace. It was strangely comforting, for we both didn't know what else to do. I don't know how long we stayed like that, but I was grateful for it. The next thing I noticed was how dark the sky was getting.

"Do you want to go home?" he asked, his lips barely brushing my left ear, leaving a tingling resonance. I couldn't help but sigh a little.

"No. Not yet. I want to stay here with you." I said, my words beating all sense and logical thinking that I had right then and there. I didn't intend for that to come out, but the damage was done. He didn't make any comment, though, and let me lie in his arms. He pointed out constellations, their histories, several stars, and their names and stories about them. He knew so much. I didn't know if I could remember everything he said, but I loved to listen to the sound of his voice, and remembered nights we spent just like this, before everything changed. If only we could stay like this forever.

His face was so close to mine, and I turned my head to him. He did, as well, and as we were both leaning in, he abruptly pulled away.

"I should take you home."

Lassitude

Weakness is not in my nature. I have made errors, but I have never been vulnerable. I believe it was right for me to have taken her to speak of the circumstances which she has been placed under, while at the same time my conscience conflicts, saying that perhaps she should have just found out when the time was right. But I believe that in order to fulfill whatever task was expected of her, she was to have the necessary preparation than to perform her duty extemporaneously. I am on my own mission to find her role in this catastrophe, but in warning her, she might be able to discover it before I do.

Jared chastised me for revealing it too early. He thought that the time was not apt yet.

"Joseph, how could you? You have betrayed the secrecy of the prophecy. But then again, it is right that she knows. Either way, she is still a part of this. I too, have had visions about her, though they are visions with meanings of which I cannot decipher." he said. "I believe that this catastrophe will be near. I can never be certain when we are ready, but I believe that despite our currently vast knowledge, there is still much for both of us to learn."

"The prophecy states that the twenty-third generation will be the most powerful. Would that be us, my brother?"

"We are, indeed, the twenty-third generation. Only, as Great Albrecht has said, we have not been able to harness our true powers just yet. He claims that we have abilities beyond even their comprehension, and that he hopes that the training he will give us will be sufficient enough for us to choose the right thing when the moment comes for us to receive this power." says Jared. "Joseph, I trust you will use yours wisely."

"Brother, I will. I will to do the right thing, always. That is why I have told her."

"Your intentions are well, but your actions have not been appropriate. I know you love her, Joseph, but will you be able to let her go when the time is right?"

I stop.

"My thoughts exactly. My dear brother, they will use her to exploit your weakness. They may manipulate her into severing yourself from your duty, and trust me, they will focus on taking you out in order to get past the defense you should provide. Maybe that is her role." he said. My blood runs cold, or whatever remains of it.

"It cannot be. She cannot be the conduit. It cannot be."

"Joseph, I think it is she who is the conduit. There is no one else."

"No." I say, over and over, until my voice rises in disbelief. "NO!"

"Calm down." says Jared. I am standing stiffly, in front of what was once a full wall. He does not hesitate to place his arms around my neck, and I soften under his touch. I slump in his arms, unable to control myself in the midst of the torrent of emotions which I have not felt in so long. I didn't believe it was possible for me to feel human again. "Destiny paves its own path, but love always finds a way despite that. If you and Karen are meant to be together, you will be together."

If there were still tears that existed, they would have gone out by now. But they didn't. I'd forgotten how to cry long ago.

But I felt weak.

Listless.