I do not own seaQuest or it's characters. I am not profiting from this story, they are for
entertainment purposes only.



Altered Realities
By Kaitlyn Rose

Lucas was ready to throw his hands up into the air and pull his hair out. Everyone on the ship
could use the new system with ease, everyone except Fagan. For what felt like hundredth time Lucas was
working with Fagan, teaching the man how to use the system. Lucas wondered just where in the hell he
had gotten his degree from? Clown College??

"That's it," Lucas said. "Listen, if you can't do this then maybe you should apply for a position
somewhere else."

"Just what the hell does that mean?" Fagan demanded.

"Simple, that you are a computer technician who doesn't know how to use a computer," Lucas
said.

"Well it's your job to show me how to work this crappy program."

"The program is not crap. Everyone on the ship mastered how to use it weeks ago. The
evaluations everyone turned in were more than positive. It's just you. If you can't work this program then
maybe you shouldn't be here."

"Don't you threaten me you little brat," Fagan said angrily. "I don't care if you are a genius. The
only reason everyone gave positive evaluations is because the Captain is your father. Everyone's too
scared to tell you what they really think!"

Lucas knew Fagan was just trying to get to him, but the man's words had hit the nerve they were
intended for. Lucas tried not to cringe.

"Listen, from now on you are on your own, sink or swim, I don't care. I have tons of other work
to do and I am tired of standing here holding your hand."

Fagan raised his hand and pointed sternly at Lucas, "Listen you little…"

"Is there a problem here?" came the Captain's voice.

Fagan immediately stood at attention. "No, sir," he barked out.

"Lucas?" Nathan asked.

"No, no problem."

"Very well, why don't you go to our quarters, Kristin is waiting for us so we can have dinner."

"Okay." Lucas picked up his equipment and quickly walked out of the room, anger clearly written
on his face.

Nathan stepped closer to Fagan and looked sternly at the man. He had been standing at the door
for a moment and had overheard the exchange between the two.

"I understand you don't like Lucas. I understand that you don't like being told what to do by a
fifteen year old, and from what I've seen of your performance these past weeks, you're also incompetent. I
have been restraining myself from getting involved, figuring that the two of you would work something out
by yourselves, but this is it. Listen to me, and listen good. You will never threaten Lucas ever again,
neither with words nor actions. You will improve your quality of work, or you're out of here. Is that
clear?"

"Yes sir," Fagan replied quickly.


_______________________________________



Lucas walked into his quarters and slammed the door. His blood was boiling beneath his skin.
Fagan had a way of getting to him. He was totally ticked that Dad had come to his rescue. It bothered him
big time that he couldn't get a handle on this situation. He had tried repeatedly to smooth things over with
the man, going out of his way to be nice, be patient, be helpful. Fagan didn't care, the man hated Lucas and
always would.

"Lucas, what's the matter?" Kristin asked, startled by Lucas' slamming the door.

"Sorry," Lucas said.

"It's okay, but what has you so upset?" She was pretty sure she already knew the answer.
Lucas set his equipment down and said, "Nothing, I'm fine."

"Lucas."

"I said I'm fine!" Lucas replied starting to go to his room.

"Lucas you will not raise your voice to us like that," Nathan insisted, stepping into the room.

Lucas spun around to look at him. "I'm sorry," Lucas quickly replied. Then he looked at Mom
and repeated the apology. She nodded at him.

"Why don't you both sit down while dinner is still hot," she said. Even though they were back on
the boat, and often their work schedules interfered, they still tried to have dinner as a family at least twice a
week in their quarters. Both Kristin and Nathan knew that it was important to Lucas to act like a real
family. They also made sure that all three of them had the day off on Tuesday. It had been impossible to
schedule both of their days off together, but they had managed the one. Thanks to Lucas' addition of the
console in their quarters Nathan was actually able to spend much of that day off with them since he could
easily monitor things from their quarters.

Lucas and Nathan sat down at the table and Kristin joined them. Nathan actually grabbed his
head. Lucas was so angry that Nathan couldn't block it completely and it was making his head hurt.

"Lucas, you need to relax," Nathan said.

"Huh?"

"You're making my head hurt," Nathan told him.

"Very funny," Lucas said sarcastically.

"No, really kiddo," Nathan told him. "Honest, I'm not trying to go in your head, but you're so
upset that you're going into mine, and like I said, you're making my head hurt."

"Oh," Lucas replied. He quickly left the table and went to his room. He turned on The Cannon by
Pacobell and lay back on his bed. He closed his eyes and tried to let the music relax him. He felt bad, he
had hurt Dad, but he didn't mean to, he didn't even understand how he had. Then again, he suspected he
did. Not only was Dad getting better at using his psi abilities on Lucas, but now Lucas could sometimes
feel Dad. Not in the truly psychic sense, since Lucas knew he wasn't psychic, but sometimes he knew
when Dad was coming, or he could feel Dad in his head, and he was getting really good at calling Dad into
his dreams. Actually, that he didn't do on purpose, it just seemed to happen, like instinct or something.

"You are a little you know," Nathan said.

Lucas sat up and looked at him. He had been so deep in thought that he hadn't heard the door
open.

"I'm a little what?" Lucas asked.

Nathan stepped into the room and sat on the bunk next to Lucas. "You're a little psychic. Not
enough for you to ever be an honest to god mind reader, but you do have some latent abilities. That's why
I'm able to sense and read you. I've learned in the past couple of months that I can only use my abilities on
other psychics. I'm sure that if I developed my abilities I could probably do more, but I really don't want
to."

"Oh, so is that why I can call you in my dreams?" Lucas asked.

"Yep, and it's also how you know when I'm poking around in there," Nathan said, lightly tapping
Lucas on the head. "It was the night we were in the hospital together. You shocked me when you told me
to stay out of your head. Only someone with psi abilities would have known I was snooping where I
shouldn't have been. About a week ago, something else happened."

"What?"

"I was going past the moon pool, and I suddenly knew that Darwin was talking to O'Neill, up
hear," once again Nathan tapped Lucas on the head.

"I didn't know that Darwin could still do that with Tim," Lucas said.

"Neither did I, I don't think Tim even knew, cause the look on his face was one of shock. I think
Tim is more like you than he is like me."

"Oh. Dad, you yelled at Fagan, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did."

"Ohhhh, great," Lucas groaned. "Now he'll hate me even more."

"Lucas, why didn't you come to me, tell me about this sooner."

"Because, I don't want to be known as the big baby who runs to his Dad every time the bully picks
on him. I thought I could wait it out, let him get to know me. Most of the new people like me now, I
thought maybe he would like me too, eventually."

"Lucas, you're not a big baby. I understand you wanted to handle this on your own, but he's been
threatening you. Today wasn't the first time, was it?"

Lucas sighed. "No."

"You should have come to me. I knew you were upset with this man, but I didn't realize the
extent of it until just now. Do you want me to get him transferred?"

"No," Lucas said, "not yet. Maybe I can still fix this."

"Okay, it's your department so I'll leave it to you, for now."

"Thanks," Lucas said. "I guess we should go have dinner, huh?"

"Mom is waiting for us," Nathan agreed. The two went back into the family room. Kristin smiled
at them.


_______________________________________



Lucas was playing games on the big screen TV. Nathan smiled, looking at the boy. The best
thing he had done was get headphones for the TV. Now Lucas could play, and the noise no longer drove
Nathan and Kristin from the room.

He looked at the clock, Kristin should be just about done in the labs for the night. His thoughts
were interrupted by his PAL going off.

"Bridger."

"Captain, Secretary Noyce is on line for you," came the Ensigns voice. Nathan couldn't
remember her name.

"Fine, patch it through." He walked over to the vid phone and popped it on.

"Nathan," Bill greeted.

"Hi, Bill, what's up?"

"I have great news. It seems that the UEO is truly impressed with Lucas' new program.
According to the data, the ships computers are running at 37% more capacity than they were before, and in
the past month there has been no glitches of any kind, not to mention the crews evaluations all but sing
Lucas' praises."

Nathan smiled proudly. "Did you expect anything less from him?" Nathan looked over at Lucas,
still sitting in the floor, completely absorbed by the game he was playing.

"I knew Lucas would make a good program, I just didn't think it would be this good," Bill said.

"Anyway, like I said, the UEO is so impressed that they want to have the program installed on the rest of
the fleet."

"You're kidding?" Nathan said.

"Nope, couldn't be more serious. We want Lucas to start installing the program on the other subs,
starting with the seaFire in two days."

"Wait a minute, does Lucas have to leave seaQuest?"

"Well, he'll have to be on each sub for a few days to install the program, but once he's done he'll
return to seaQuest," Bill said.

"Then we have a problem," Nathan said. "Lucas won't go."

"What do you mean he won't go? This is the opportunity of a lifetime for him. Not to mention,
with the money that the UEO will pay him for the program, he'll be set for life."

"Bill, it's not that easy. Lucas is still dealing with what Lawrence did to him. He feels safe here
on seaQuest, but he won't leave the ship without me or Kristin with him."

"Are you sure?" Bill asked.

"Positive. A week ago his best friend, Ben Krieg, offered to take Lucas with him on a supply run,
and take him to the mall. Lucas refused, and when we tried to pressure him to go and get off the sub for a
bit he just about lost it. He finally went but only because Kristin went with him."

"I didn't realize he was still traumatized so badly," Bill said. "I'm truly sorry Nathan, you can't
even begin to know how bad I feel, since what happened was my fault. You were right, I should have
listened to you, but I didn't."

"It's done now. We can't change the past. Now we just work on the present," Nathan said.

"Well, how about if you come with Lucas to the seaFire? You can stay with him for the several
days it takes him to upload the new program, then Kristin can go with him to the next sub that he works
on."

"I guess we should talk to Lucas," Nathan said. "Hang on." He walked over to Lucas and moved
in front of him so as to not scare him.

"Dad, you're in the way," Lucas said.

"I know, you have a call," Nathan said.

Lucas pulled off the headphones and got up.

"Hi, Mr. Secretary," Lucas said.

"Lucas, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Bill?"

"I'm sorry, it just feels weird calling you Bill," Lucas smiled. "So, what's up?"

"Well, the UEO has decided that you shouldn't be the Head of Computer Engineering on seaQuest
anymore."

"What? I'm being fired?" Lucas asked. "Did I do something wrong?"

Bill almost laughed, but Nathan gave him a look. "No Lucas, you didn't do anything wrong, it's
just that we have a bigger job for you to do. The UEO has decided to install you new system into all of its
submarines."

"What? Are you serious?" Lucas grinned.

"Very. The UEO is prepared to pay you $5.5 million, it'll be put into a trust for you to have when
you turn 18. Nathan will manage the trust until then, and with interest and investments, you'll be one rich
kid."

"Cool," Lucas replied, earning a laugh from both Bill and Nathan. "So what do I have to do
exactly?"

"Well, you have to go on the subs and install the new program and make modifications so that it is
compatible with each sub, depending on the subs needs."

"Wait, you mean I have to leave seaQuest?" Lucas asked, already shaking his head no.

"I'll be with you, kiddo," Nathan said, putting a hand on Lucas' shoulder. "We'll only be gone for
a couple of days, then we come back."

"Yeah, but then we have to go again for the next sub, and then the one after that. They're not
going to let you come each time," Lucas said. "No, I don't want to do this. They can have the program,
free of charge, but get someone else to install it into their systems."

"Lucas, we could do that, but then we'd need months for you to train someone to install and make
necessary modifications. We'll need you to do that anyway, but honestly, we want the program operating
on our subs as soon as possible. For that we need you."

"Lucas, you'll never go alone, I promise," Nathan said. "I'll go with you this time, and then
Kristin can go next time. We'll take turns, right Bill?" Nathan said, looking at Noyce.

"Yes," Bill quickly agreed. "Lucas I promise, nothing will happen."

"I've heard that before!" Lucas snapped, then cringed, instantly regretting saying that. God, he'd
just yelled at the Secretary General. He expected Dad to yell at him, but he looked to see Dad looking at
him with concern.

"Bill, I'll call you back," Nathan said.

"Fine, I'll be waiting." Noyce broke the connection.

"I'm sorry," Lucas said. "I didn't mean to yell." He waited for Dad to say something, but he saw
that he was just sitting there, staring at him. "You want me to do this, don't you?" Lucas asked.

"I think you need to do this," Nathan said.

"But why? I don't want to go."

"That's exactly the reason why," Nathan said. "Lucas, I understand, really I do, but the truth is,
you can't spend your whole life hiding, and I didn't even realize it until just now, but I've been helping you
to hide."

"Is this where you tell me that when you fall off the horse you need to get right back up on it
again?" Lucas asked flippantly.

"Yes, actually, it is. You know I love you, and I only want what is best for you. Right now I
think getting you off seaQuest and having you take this job is exactly what you need to do."

"I'm not ready," Lucas said quietly.

"Lucas, you'll never be ready. I wasn't ready to leave my island, but Bill came and dragged me
off, actually kidnapping me on this boat, and it was the best thing he ever did to me. Now I am going to do
that to you. In two days we are going to the seaFire and you will install your program. Then we will come
home."

"You promise you'll come, though. I mean, you're not going to stick me on a launch and then tell
me that I can do this alone, are you?" Lucas looked as though he might cry.

"I promise to come," Nathan said. "I would never risk losing your trust like that." Nathan
reached over and pulled Lucas to him. Lucas closed his eyes and laid his head on Dad's shoulder. He
knew Dad was right, but he still didn't like it. He didn't want to leave the security seaQuest offered.


_________________________________



Two days later Nathan was in the launch bay loading his and Lucas bags.

"You promise to look after him?" Kristin asked.

"Don't I always?" Nathan replied, smiling.

"Just make sure he eats real food, not ice cream and cake, and don't let him work to hard, I'm sure
he'll try to pull all nighters so he can get home faster."

"Kristin, we'll be just fine, I promise. I'll look after him and I won't let him over due it." He put
his hands on her shoulders and smiled at her.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come?" she asked.

"Kristin, we've been through this."

"I know, it's just maybe your rushing Lucas. I'm not sure if he's ready for this yet."

Nathan didn't reply he just looked at her patiently. Finally she smiled at him, "Okay, so maybe
I'm being paranoid. But take these, just to be on the safe side." Nathan took a small bottle of pills from
her. "They're Lucas' sedatives, incase the nightmares return. Just give him one if he needs it."

Nathan bent down and tucked the small bottle into his bag and then zipped it back up. He looked
up to see Lucas entering the launch bay.

"Well, kiddo, ready to shove off?"

Lucas gave a small smile and nodded. He walked up to Mom and gave her a big hug and she
kissed his cheek.

"I'll see you in four days," she said.

"Okay."

She turned and repeated her actions with Nathan, except she kissed him on the lips instead of his
cheek.

Lucas and Nathan climbed into the launch and sealed the hatch. Nathan quickly went through the
launch checklist and then asked permission to depart, which Ford quickly gave him.

Nathan piloted the launch out of the bay into the open waters. It would take them an hour to reach
the seaFire. He looked at Lucas in the co-pilot's seat and saw that he was looking over some computer data
he had on the seaFire so he could already start configuring the program to the ship.

They were about half way there when Nathan decided to just take a peek. He was happy to sense
that Lucas wasn't afraid at the moment, just deeply engrossed in the work.

"Dad," Lucas warned.

"Sorry, just checking," Nathan smiled.

"You know, that's not fair," Lucas said. "How in the heck am I supposed to sneak around behind
your back if you can pop into my head anytime you like it," Lucas teased.

"Well, that will just give you a good incentive to not sneak around behind my back," Nathan
replied.

"I'm a teenager, that's my job," Lucas protested. "Just wait till I start driving next year."

"Fortunately you can't drive a car at he bottom of the ocean," Nathan replied, to which Lucas
stuck his tongue out at him.

Nathan laughed and looked back at the controls. They still had twenty-five more minutes before
they reached the seaFire. Suddenly Nathan noticed that all of his instrumentations were acting strangely.
The two large blips that were seaQuest and seaFire disappeared from his radar.

"What the?"

"What?" Lucas asked.

"See if you can find a problem with the radar?" Nathan said.

Lucas quickly ran a diagnostic on the shuttles computer system. "Diagnostic says everything is
fine."

"Then why isn't seaQuest or SeaFire showing up on it anymore?" Nathan opened a comm. line
and tried to contact seaQuest. "seaQuest, can you hear me? This is Captain Bridger, please come in."
There was no response.

"You pilot, I'll try contacting someone," Lucas said. He took over the comm. and repeatedly tried
to get in touch with either seaQuest or seaFire but all he was met with was radio silence.

The lights in the launch began to flicker and Nathan felt the controls getting sluggish. Finally, all
power in the launch went off and they were plunged into blackness.

"Lucas, grab the flashlight from the emergency kit," Nathan ordered.

Lucas felt his way to the kit mounted on the wall and opened it, spilling some of it's contents on
the floor, but he managed to find the light and switch it on. Nathan fiddled with the buttons and switches,
trying to get power back up. Lucas propped the light into a crevice and also tried to see what he could do
to restore power.

The launch began to tilt to the left as it slowly sank to the seafloor.

"What's the depth here?" Lucas asked.

"6,000 feet."

"What's our crush depth?" Lucas asked nervously.

"We're okay, we can sink to 8,000 in this," Nathan replied.

"Will the shuttle hold together at impact?" Lucas asked.

Nathan didn't reply right away.

"Well?" Lucas pressured.

"I don't know," Nathan replied. "We're about to do a 5,000 foot free fall." He tried to keep his
own fear out of his voice for Lucas' sake. "It depends on what we hit when we stop. If the seafloor here is
soft silt, we should make it."

"And if it's rock?"

Nathan didn't reply, but the look he gave Lucas told him everything he needed to know. Lucas
quickly unstraped himself and grabbed the flashlight and went to the power cells in the back. Nathan
followed right behind him. Lucas examined the cells.

"According to what I'm seeing here, the cells still have full power," Lucas said. "I don't know
why they aren't powering the shuttle."

Nathan began to pull the metal cover off the unit and examine inside. "Point the flashlight closer,"
he said. He knew they were running out of time before they hit the seafloor.
Nathan saw that the amount of light was getting stronger. He looked back at the flashlight but a
light outside the window was drawing his attention. Lucas also looked back and saw a light approaching
them.

"Looks like we're saved," Lucas said.

They both continued to stare, realizing that the light coming towards them was too powerful to be
a sub. Soon the light coming through the window was pure white and blinding them.

"Dad, what's happening?" Lucas asked, shielding his eyes.

"I don't know," Nathan replied. He saw that the light source was advancing on them quickly. He
grabbed Lucas and pulled him to the floor, then he covered the boy as he braced for impact with what ever
was coming at them.

They both felt as though the light passed right through them. It was warm and enveloped them
completely. Nathan held Lucas a little tighter before they both lost consciousness.


________________________________________



Nathan woke slowly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He was about to sit up when he felt
something laying on him. He looked to see a small child laying on him, soft blond hair fanned out on his
pajama shirt.

"Well, it's about time you woke up," Carol said, walking into the bedroom, carrying a laundry
basket full of freshly folded towels. She went into the bathroom and put them in the linen closet.

"Carol?" Nathan said, shifting the child so he could sit up and look around. "Carol, is it really
you?"

"Well of course it's me, who else would be willing to wash and put away your socks," she joked.

"You need to get up. You promised Lucas and Robert to take them to the zoo today, remember. Robert is
already up and waiting for you. Please tell me you didn't forget, he's been wanting to spend some time
with you desperately."

"Uh, no, no I didn't forget." Nathan looked down at the child in his arms who was just waking up.
The boy yawned sleepily then opened his eyes and looked at Nathan.

"Hi daddy," the four year old said.

"Good morning, Lucas," Nathan said. He looked around, recognizing the home he shared with
Carol while they lived in Pearl, then, he looked down at the small angelic looking little boy again and
smiled. He couldn't explain it exactly, something…something was happening, but he didn't know what.
He pulled little Lucas to him and hugged him tightly.

"Daaaadddyyy," Lucas squealed, "you're scratchy." Lucas ran his hand over Nathan's cheek.
Lucas giggled as Nathan laid him back on the bed and proceeded to tickle him.

"Are we going to see the monkeys today?" Lucas asked once Nathan finally stopped tickling him.

"You said we could see the monkeys."

"Yes, we can see the monkeys, and the lions, and the giraffes, and the bears, and anything else you
want to see," he said.

"Yaaaayyy!" Lucas said. He stood up on the bed and began to jump up and down. "We're going
to see the monkey's, we're going to see the monkeys!"

"Lucas, stop that right now," Carol laughed. "You won't be able to see the monkeys if you're in
the hospital getting stitches."

Lucas stopped jumping and climbed down off the bed and ran out of the room.

"I better go get him ready and fix his breakfast," Carol said. But before she could leave the room
Nathan grabbed her arm and pulled her to him. He held her for a moment and just stared into her face.

"You are so beautiful," he said. "I…I love you so much."

She smiled brightly at him. "I love you too." She leaned over and kissed him softly, then she
pulled back and said, "You best get in the shower. The boys aren't going to wait to long."

He watched as she left the room. Then he walked over to the closet and grabbed some clothes and
went into the bathroom. He shut the door and looked at his reflexion in the mirror. He looked the way he
was supposed to look, but yet, something was different. He seemed to remember himself having gray in his
hair, but he only saw brown as he looked in the mirror. He shook his head as if to dust out the cobwebs and
got into the shower.




"Mommy I want to wear my monkey shirt," Lucas said.

"You can't sweetie, it's dirty. I forgot to wash it and last time you wore it you got strawberry jam
all over it," Carol said.

"But I'm going to go see the monkeys today. I have to have my monkey shirt."

"How about you were this one. It has dolphins."

Lucas seemed to think this over for a minute, and then said, "Okay, I like dolphins too. I'm going
to have a dolphin named Darwin one day."

"That's nice," Carol smiled.

"Uh huh, and he's going to talk."

"Really, a talking dolphin, well, I'm sure that will be something incredible."
She managed to finish getting Lucas dressed and then she followed him into the kitchen.

"Hey squirt," Robert said.

"Hey Robby," Lucas said. He climbed up into his big brothers lap. Robby was sixteen and could
drive a car. He was totally cool, as brothers went that is.

"Here, Lucas, eat your cereal so you guys can go," Carol told him.

"Okay Mommy." Lucas shoveled his Cocoa Crispies into his mouth and looked around. He
looked at Mommy and for just a second he seemed to remember having a different mommy, but then the
memory faded and he continued to eat his cereal.

Nathan stepped into the kitchen and saw that everyone else was here. Carol was loading the
dishwasher, and Lucas sat in Robert's lap eating his cereal. Nathan suddenly had this urge to grab Robert
and hug him, but he stopped himself from doing it. It would have scared him if he had, and besides, Robert
was now at that age where he insisted he was too old for hugs. So instead Nathan walked up to the boy and
put a hand on his shoulder.

"So are you ready to go to the zoo?" Nathan asked.

"Yeah, Dad, just as soon as squirt here finishes his cereal. Can I drive since you'll be in the car?"

Nathan wanted to say no, but then he found himself saying, "Sure, just be careful."

"Cool," Robert said.

Ten minutes later Nathan was putting Lucas in his booster seat in the car and buckling him up.

Then he and Robert got in the car and started off for the zoo. Nathan was glad that Robert was a good
driver, especially since Lucas was in the car.

Once again Nathan found himself thinking about the fact that something was different, but he
didn't know what. All he knew for sure was that he was happy, happier than he could ever remember.
The day at the zoo was great, with all of them having a great time. Lucas had dragged them all
over the place, wanting to see everything that he could. They spent quite a lot of time in the aquarium.
Lucas had been desperate to see the monkeys, but now it was like he couldn't get enough of the dolphins.

"Daddy, they know how to talk," Lucas said. "I want to talk to the dolphins."

"Lucas, people can't talk to dolphins."

"One day I will," Lucas said.

Nathan just smiled at the boy and patted him on the shoulder, but somewhere in the back of his
mind he knew that Lucas was telling the truth. He really was going to talk to the dolphins. Then Nathan
laughed at himself. Just where on earth did something that crazy come from.

Nathan looked down to see Lucas standing in front of him with his arms up in the air. He leaned
over and hoisted Lucas up into his arms. Four was an awkward age for kids. They were too old for a
stroller, but they still got tired fast, so then you had to carry them. He remembered going through the same
thing with Robert.

They went home that evening to find Carol stretched out across the sofa watching TV. She had
obviously enjoyed her day off from the kids since she very rarely got days off.

"So how was the zoo?"

"It was fun," Lucas said, running up to her and throwing himself into her arms. "We saw all kinds
of animals, and even dolphins."

"That's nice, did you have a good time Robert?"

"Yeah, it was fun. Can I go over Jimmy's house?"

"Don't you want to eat dinner first?" she asked.

"We ate while we were out," Robert replied. "Can I go? I want to play some basketball."

"Sure, have fun," she said.

"God, they grow up so fast, and they can't wait to leave you," she said to Nathan.

"Tell me about it," Nathan agreed. "Well, I'm going to go work on the plans for a while."

"I'll be glad when you finish building that stupid boat already," Carol said, sighing.

"I promise I won't work too long."

"You shouldn't work at all, it's Saturday, you're day off remember. Sometimes I think you love
that boat more than me." She stood up and walked out into the backyard, slamming the screen door behind
her.

Her words had struck a nerve with Nathan. Something he had said about wishing he had been
more devoted to his family. Somehow Nathan knew this was his second chance, what ever that meant.

"Daddy, you made Mommy mad," Lucas said sadly.

"I know, but I'm going to go fix it right now," Nathan told him, ruffling his hair softly.

"You promise."

"I promise." Nathan stood up and walked out to the yard to be with Carol.

Lucas watched Mommy and Daddy. He smiled when he saw Mommy turn and hug Daddy. Then
they started kissing. "Eeeww," Lucas groaned. He turned and went into the office. He climbed up into
Daddy's chair and turned on the computer. He liked the computer. He knew how to play lots of different
games on it, plus he liked going on the internex. He also liked to read. Everyone had been so surprised
when he started reading at age three, especially since no one had taught him how. He had taught himself.
He typed in a search and started looking up anything he could about dolphins.


___________________________________



A week later Nathan was in the office working on his plans for seaQuest. He had finally gotten
approval for the boat to be designed. In a few days they were actually going to start production. He
couldn't believe his dream and life's work was going to come true.

He was working on the propulsion engines, but for some reason the math just wasn't working
right. He started punching numbers into the calculator, then ran a hand through his hair as once more the
equations just didn't seem right.

"Daddy, you're doing it wrong."

Nathan looked to see Lucas staring seriously at his long list of equations.

"And I suppose you know how to do it?" Nathan teased.

"Uh huh," Lucas replied softly.

"Really, then what am I doing wrong?"

"Well, you have a four here, and it should be a two, and this should be another x, not a y." Lucas
stood up in the chair so he could point to the exact mistakes that he saw.

Nathan just stared at the boy in disbelief. Surely Lucas couldn't honestly know how to do the
problem. Nathan changed the numbers and put the problem back into the calculator. He felt his jaw drop
when the readout showed him the answer he had been expecting all along.

"See, I told you," Lucas said happily.

"Lucas, how did you know how to do that?" Nathan asked.

"I don't know," the four year old replied. "I just do."

From that day on life in the Bridger household was never the same. Lucas had been tested and his
IQ scores were incredibly high. A few weeks later Lucas entered a school for gifted and talented children,
which the boy absolutely loved. He continually astounded all of his teachers.


___________________________________



Two years passed and production on the seaQuest was almost halfway complete. Nathan was
growing more and more frustrated, though. He wanted to build a science vessel, but the UEO was equally
determined to build a military vessel. It seemed he spent hours, days, even weeks, arguing just to reach a
compromise.

Robert was due to graduate from high school in a month, and he had hoped that he would have
gone to college to study science, but the kid was insisting on being difficult. Instead, Robert had decided
on West Point. He wanted to join the military and make a career for himself in the UEO. Nathan would
have sworn the kid only did it because it was the last thing in the world Nathan would have wanted him to
do. Both he and Carol had tried to talk him out of it, but he was determined to do things his way.

At least Lucas still did as he was told, but of course he was six. But then that was a challenge all
in itself. Lucas was six, which meant he should have been in first grade, but instead he was actually a high
school freshman. Nathan had actually wanted to take a long vacation this summer vacation, but Lucas had
asked to go back to his gifted and talented school, since they were going to spend the summer working at
the aquarium and Lucas would be able to play and swim with the dolphins. By the time the summer school
program ended there would only be one week of vacation left.

On the other hand, he was having lots of fun designing the boat with Lucas. Every evening they
would get together and work on the designs. Who would have ever of thought that a six year old would be
one of his greatest assets in getting his dream built.


__________________________________



Lucas was feeding the dolphins with his teacher, Mrs. Hindle. He loved working here at the
aquarium. He was sad that this summer was almost over and then he'd have to go back to a real school.

He listened as the dolphins chattered, demanding their dinners. Lucas had noticed over the summer that the
dolphin's clicks and whistles made sense to him some how. He could tell the difference between an "I
want to play" click vs. an "I want to eat" click. He had tried to point it out to his teacher, but she just
smiled at him sweetly and patted his arm. She couldn't hear a difference.

Lucas was feeling a little sad today. Today was the last day that Robby would be living with
them. Tomorrow morning he would be leaving for West Point. He was going to miss his big brother
terribly.

Robby was the one who took him to the movies on Sunday mornings when Daddy had meetings to
go to, and Robby was the one who liked to play catch with him in the evenings before Daddy got home
from work.


_____________________________________



Lucas sat in the sofa and tried not to cry. He watched as Mommy and Daddy took all of Robby's
things and put it into the car. Daddy was going to drive Robby to the airport today and then Robby would
be gone.

Robby sat down on the sofa next to him.

"Hey squirt, I got ya something," Robert said.

"What?" Lucas asked, his eyes filled with tears. Robert pulled a big box out from behind his back.
Lucas tore the paper off the box and removed the lid. Inside he found a big teddy bear. It was dressed up
to look like a professor, with cute little wire rim glasses on it. Lucas held the bear in his hands.

"It sort of reminded me of you," Robert said. "All smart looking and stuff. You'll probably
graduate from college before I will."

"Why do you have to go?" Lucas asked. "I want you to stay."

"I can't stay," Robert said. "My school isn't in Hawaii."

"Then go to a school in Hawaii like I do," Lucas replied, tears finally falling.

"I wish I could squirt, but wait till you get older, you'll understand then."

Lucas crawled into Robby's lap and held him tightly. "Can I call him Robby Bear?"

"He's your bear, you can call him anything you want."

"Okay, then I'll call him R.B., for Robby Bear."

"Cool," Robert said.

"Robert, it's time to go," Nathan said.

Carol came over and said her goodbyes to Robert, hugging him tightly and shedding a few tears of
her own. She and Lucas followed them to the car and waved until the car was totally out of sight.


__________________________________



Nathan walked through the house. It suddenly felt too big. Robert was gone. Sure, he'd be back
for the holidays, but honestly, he was gone. He would most likely never live in this house ever again since
he would go straight into service upon his graduation.

He walked to Lucas' bedroom door. The boy had been asleep now for about an hour. Lucas was
taking Robert's leaving very hard, actually crying himself to sleep tonight. He looked in on him and
smiled. Lucas lay curled on his side, clutching his new teddy bear to him. His small chin rested on the
bear's furry head.


____________________________________



Lucas stood by the door, waiting for Daddy and Robby. It would be Christmas in two days and
Robby was coming home. Lucas held R.B. in his arms. Since Robby had left he was rarely seen without
the big bear. It even went to school with Lucas, but it stayed in Lucas' book bag. It was hard enough being
six and going to high school, but if he got carrying a teddy bear he probably would have gotten beat up.

Finally the car pulled up in front of the house. Lucas threw open the door and went running
outside. Robby got out of the car and Lucas threw himself into Robby's arms.

"Hey squirt!" Robby said happily. He scooped Lucas up and tossed him onto his back, giving him
a piggyback ride.

"Are you going to stay now?" Lucas asked.

"Only for the holiday, then I have to go back."

"Oh," Lucas said sadly.

"Hey, none of that, now. We have to have the best Christmas ever, and that can't happen if you're
all depressed.

"Okay," Lucas said, smiling slightly.

They entered the house with Dad following close behind.

Mom came rushing out of the kitchen and Nathan took Lucas off of Robert's back so she could
greet him.

Several minutes later they were all seated in the living room so Robert could tell them about the
academy and how his training was going.

"I can't believe all those presents," Robert said. "Honestly, it's been a long time since the tree had
that much stuff under it."

"Yeah, and Santa still has to come, too!" Lucas said.

"Well, I hope you've been good, so Santa will leave you the good stuff," Nathan said.

"Have I been good, Daddy?"

Nathan smiled at the boy, "Yes, you've been very good."


____________________________________



Nathan woke up, wondering what had woken him. He rolled over, feeling the empty space in his
bed. Carol had gone to her sisters for the week. Kate had just had a new baby and Carol wanted to be there
to help her out for the first week. So he and Lucas were home by themselves.

He froze when he heard a soft whimpering coming from Lucas' room. He got up and walked
across the hall to check on him. He entered the room and turned on the small bedside lamp.

"Lucas," he said softly.

"Daddy, Mommy, Daddy…" Lucas moaned.

Nathan went to brush the hair from his forehead and was surprised by how warm Lucas was. He
quickly placed both his hands on Lucas' face and realized that the boy was burning up with fever.

"Daddy, Daddy, don't feel good."

Nathan quickly scooped Lucas up and carried him to the bathroom. He turned the water on and
began to fill the tub with cool water. He took off Lucas' pajamas and then put Lucas into the water.

"Noooo," Lucas cried. "Cold…too cold. Daddy stop." Tears fell down the boys face.

"Lucas, it's okay. You're going to be okay, but I have to cool you down," Nathan said. He
grabbed a washcloth and wet it and began to wipe gently at Lucas flushed face. Nathan noticed that Lucas'
skin was covered in goose bumps and his teeth were chattering.

"Daddy, I have to go to school," Lucas said. "I have to take my test. I…Mommy, I want
Mommy…R.B. ..where's R.B." Lucas stopped speaking and then suddenly threw up on himself. Nathan
quickly started to wash it off of Lucas. He pulled the plug so that the mess could go down the drain and he
could clean Lucas up.

"Daaaddy," Lucas moaned, and then passed out.

"Oh god, Lucas, Lucas wake up," Nathan said, shaking the boy slightly. "Lucas, Lucas wake up!"

He quickly lifted Lucas out of the tub and toweled him off so he could put his pajamas back on him. Once
that was done he grabbed him and ran out of the house.

He rushed to the emergency room, looking into his rear view mirror every few seconds to check
on the unconscious child in the back seat. He pulled into the parking lot and once again lifted Lucas into
his arms and raced inside the ER.

"Help," Nathan said.

A nurse ran up to him with a stretcher. Nathan laid Lucas down on it.

"What's happened?" a doctor said.

"He woke up about an hour ago with a high fever. I tried to cool him off in the tub, but then he
started vomiting and passed out. I can't get him to wake up," Nathan said desperately.

"Okay, go fill out the paperwork and we'll start running some tests," the doctor said.
Nathan stood there feeling helpless as he watched them wheel Lucas away. He went to call Carol
before going to the desk.


__________________________________



Nathan sat in the waiting room. Carol wouldn't be there until the morning, hopping on the first
flight back that she could get. He had been waiting for two hours to hear what was wrong with Lucas.
Finally a doctor came out.

"Mr. Bridger?"

"Yes, how's Lucas?"

"Well, it's serious, but treatable. He has viral meningitis."

"What's that exactly?"

"It's a viral infection that causes swelling in the brain. We are already treating him for the side
effects and it looks like it was caught early, that's a good thing. We're monitoring him closely, but he
should make a full recovery."

"Should?" Nathan asked. "What can happen if he doesn't?"

"Well, sometimes this can result in hearing loss, blindness, neurological damage, even death, but
honestly, we did get it early, and there is no reason to think that any of that will happen to him. For now all
we can do is wait and see how he reacts to the treatment."

Nathan felt like all of the air had been knocked out of his lungs. This doctor was standing here
telling him not to worry just yet, but all his brain had registered was the fact that Lucas could die, or lose
his hearing or vision. Dear god, that couldn't happen! Not to his son, please, no. Nathan sat back down in
his chair, not even hearing anything else the doctor was saying.

"May I see him?" Nathan asked.

"He's resting now. You should probably go home and…"

"May I see my son?" Nathan asked again.

The doctor sighed, "Yes, he's in PICU bed number 412. He's in the isolation ward so he can't
infect the other children."

Nathan walked slowly to Lucas' room and praying that his son would be okay. He walked
through the door and was shocked to see the small boy lying in a bed that was covered by a giant plastic
bubble. Then Nathan quickly understood why, Lucas was infectious. The boy looked to be sleeping
peacefully, but Nathan could see the sheen of sweat on Lucas' face, indicating that he was still battling the
fever.

Nathan sat down next to the bed and saw that special armholes had been made into the bubble.
Nathan put his hand into the long glove and took Lucas' tiny hand in his own. He was startled when he felt
Lucas squeeze his hand.

"Daddy," the child cried softly, "I want to go home."

"I know you do, but you need to stay here so you can get well," Nathan said.

"No, want to go home, want Mommy." A steady flow of tears fell down Lucas' flushed cheeks.

"Mommy is on her way here. She'll be here in the morning, I promise."

"Where's R.B.? I need R.B.," Lucas whined.

"I'll bring him here in the morning," Nathan said.

"No, Daddy, I need R.B. now," Lucas said, beginning to cry harder.

"Lucas, you'll just have to sleep tonight without him, I'm sorry," Nathan replied.

Now Lucas began to sob. He felt so hot and sick all over, he was in the hospital under a plastic
thing, Mommy wasn't there, and he didn't even have R.B.

Nathan's heart was breaking. He knew Lucas was acting this way because he was sick and
frightened, but he was only seven years old.

"Lucas, do you want me to go get R.B.?" Nathan asked. "I'll have to leave you here by yourself if
I go get him."

Lucas seemed to think about this for a minute. He wanted R.B., but he wanted his Daddy to stay
too. "Do you have to go?" Lucas asked.

"Yes, if you really want R.B.. I'll have to leave you alone so I can drive home and then come
back. Do you really really have to have him right now?"

"No, I want you to stay with me," Lucas said quickly. "Mommy can bring him when she comes.
Will you stay?"

"Yeah, kiddo, I'll stay," Nathan said.



Lucas spent the next two weeks in the hospital recovering from his illness. Nathan watched Carol
dress Lucas. They were finally taking him home today. Nathan was so glad that Lucas had made a full
recovery. Like all people who experience a close call, he felt an overwhelming need to make sure not to
squander his time with his family. He was already making plans in his head of what he wanted to do with
Lucas and Carol. He was supposed to be going on tour in a week, which meant he would have been away
for three months, but he managed to get out of the assignment and would take another tour in a month.

The UEO didn't seem to mind since it meant that Nathan would have another month to design his
new boat. He had decided to name it seaQuest. As of late it seemed that seaQuest had become very
important to the UEO, which made it easier to get his funding, but also scared him at the same time. He
still didn't trust them not to turn his dream into a full military vessel.

"Well, kiddo, you ready to go home?" Nathan asked.

"Uh huh," Lucas replied.

"Good, I thought we could all go to breakfast, and I got some new board games for us to play at
home," Nathan said.

"And I have homemade brownies waiting for you too," Carol said. Brownies was Lucas' favorite.

"Cool," the boy said. "Maybe getting sick isn't such a bad thing." Nathan and Carol laughed.


_____________________________________



Several more years passed and life for the Bridger's was good. SeaQuest would be finished in a
few more months and would be ready for her first assignment. Lucas was thriving. The boy was a genius,
but Nathan and Carol made sure that Lucas was also a child. They were careful to watch when the
pressures of college life was getting too overwhelming for him and made sure that he had ample play time.
He was just ten after all.

Nathan woke up that morning and looked into the mirror. He made sure Carol wasn't watching,
and then he tilted his head to get a better look at the gray hairs starting to blend with his brown ones. There
wasn't that many yet, but they were there none the less. He stood back from the mirror and looked at the
rest of him. He might have a few gray hairs, but he was still in great shape. He ran five miles every day.
He stopped puffing out his chest when he caught Lucas looking at him from the door way.

"What ya doing?" Lucas smirked.

"Nothing," Nathan said, quickly putting toothpaste on to his brush.

"Uh huh," Lucas replied.

"Smart aleck," Nathan joked.

"So, uh, were we going to go to the aquarium today?" Lucas asked. "I really need to get those
recordings of the dolphins."

"Yeah, we can go. How about in a couple of hours though.?"

"Sure." Lucas was smiling ear to ear. "Thanks Dad. I know you this I'm crazy, but this will
work, you'll see."

"Just so long as this project doesn't take you away from your studies too much," Nathan said.

"Stanford will be tough, even for a smarty pants like you."

"I know, but I can handle it. You'll see. I won't let you down."

"Lucas, you could never let me down. Your mother and I are so proud of you, and not just
because of you being smart. We're proud of the person you're becoming. Just do me a favor, and stop
hacking into things you shouldn't. We might not be quite as proud of you if you end up in a juvenile
detention center."

"For them to put me in juvie they would actually have to catch me first, and I'm too good to get
caught," Lucas replied smugly.

"Lucas, that's not the point I'm trying to make. I don't like you breaking the law."

Lucas looked at the floor and started to kick the doorframe with the toe of his shoe. "Okay."

"Enough pouting. Go get dressed so we can record your dolphins."

Lucas perked up, "Thanks Dad." He took off running to his room to get ready.



Nathan was just picking up his car keys when there came a knock on the door. Carol went and
opened it. Nathan saw his best friend Bill Noyce standing there. The look on Bill's face made Nathan
shiver.

Bill gave Nathan the news that would change his life forever. Carol hugged Lucas tightly as Bill
informed them that Robert was presumed dead. Nathan found himself slowly sinking into the sofa burying
his face into his hands. 'No,' he thought. "This isn't happening. I lost him again. I thought this was a
second chance." Nathan didn't fully understand where this thought had come from.

Lucas found himself having similar thoughts of his own. 'Hadn't this already happened once?'
He quickly dismissed the crazy thought. Surely he would have remembered his brother dying before. No,
it was just the shock he was feeling at the moment to make him think strange things.

Lucas couldn't believe that Robby was dead. Robby was strong and older, and tough. Robby had
just called home to take to Lucas about a week ago. He had told him how proud he was of Lucas getting
accepted to Stanford. Lucas felt the tears come and Mom held him even tighter as her own tears glided
down her cheeks.

The rest of the day seemed to pass in a blur. Lucas remembered the horrible fight though that
happened between Mom and Dad. Mom was mad at the military. For a moment she had blamed Dad for
Robby joining the UEO. Dad had tried to remind her that he had wanted Robby to study science, but both
of them were too grief stricken to truly listen to what the other was saying.

Lucas hid in his room, holding R.B. to his chest fiercely. Robby was dead and his parents were
fighting. Surely he had entered some kind of waking nightmare.


________________________________________



Days passed and the memorial was over. Lucas had been shocked when Dad said he was quitting
the UEO. He was even going to give up his work on seaQuest. Lucas was a little hurt over that since he
had spent the past four years helping Dad to design the boat.

Lucas was even further shocked when he was told that they were moving to an island in the
Yucatan. Everything was happening to fast and he couldn't deal with all the changes. He had protested to
the move, reminding them that they were supposed to move close to Stanford, but he was told that he
would be taking his classes via the internex. Dad would have a lab made for Lucas and he would be able to
do everything he wanted to do on the island.

Mom and Dad were so quiet now. Neither of them laughed or smiled. Plus they had a way of
ignoring and obsessing over him at the same time. As long as Lucas was in the house they ignored him, but
the minute he stepped outside or wanted to go somewhere that was a whole other story.

What was worse was that Lucas' heart was breaking too, but he couldn't talk to his Mom or Dad
about it. Lucas went back to his room and closed the door. He saw R.B. lying on his bed. He was ten. He
should be too old for teddy bears, and just before all this had happened Mom had been talking to him about
giving up R.B. at bedtime, but now with Robby gone, R.B. was more important than ever. Lucas looked at
the worn and faded teddy. His nose had been sewed back on at least three times, as had one of his ears.
The soft fluffy fur was now matted and thinned. Lucas held the bear and laid down.


__________________________________________



Lucas sat at the kitchen table and looked at the cake. There were eleven candles on it. He was
eleven today. He made his wish and quickly blew out the candles. Mom and Dad cheered him when he got
them all. Lucas looked at them and smiled.

This was a strange birthday. Robby had now been dead for six months and though they were
starting to put their lives back together things weren't completely back to normal yet.

Nathan looked at Lucas and smiled for him. Today was a strange day. It felt awkward to be
celebrating without Robby, but it wouldn't be fair to Lucas to ruin the day just because they were still
grieving. The past months had been heard on all of them, but especially for Lucas. His entire world had
been turned upside down. Luckily though the boy seemed to be bouncing back.

Nathan was glad the University had accommodated them and allowed Lucas to take his masters
courses through a live video feed and internex use. The island was actually a perfect place for Lucas to
work. There was a dolphin pod that stayed relatively close to the island so Lucas was able to study them
with Nathan and it was working perfectly for his thesis.

Nathan had also found creative ways to use his free time. He designed a new idea for seaQuest
and sent it to the UEO. The UEO had jumped on his aqua tube idea. They were paying him a fortune for it
since he was now a civilian. Carol had been a little upset when she found out, but she understood that
Nathan had to do something while he was here. So she agreed to his making a few suggestions and then
submitting them to the UEO, just so long as he didn't go back to work for them full time.

Nathan was having fun working with the dolphins as well. He realized that Lucas was right, that
they did have an advanced speech pattern, and maybe it could be translated. He preferred to teach the
dolphins using good old fashioned hand signals, which Lucas just laughed at.

Carol started cutting the cake and passed out a piece to each of them. Lucas opened the gift his
parents got him. He gasped when he saw it. It was a state of the art audio system.

"Wow, this is incredible. It's perfect. If I get the translator working this will great for the
program," Lucas said.

"That's why we got it," Carol said. She still didn't understand how Lucas had come up with this
idea of his, but she truly hoped it worked.


___________________________________



Lucas walked down to the beach and tread water for a few moments. He missed Robby terribly.
He wished he could talk about it, he needed to talk about it, but Mom and Dad didn't. He was about to turn
and walk the other way when something caught his eye.
Lucas looked intently on the shape in the water. He realized that it was a dolphin, but something
was wrong.

"DAD!" Lucas yelled. "DAD!"

Nathan stepped out on the porch and saw Lucas standing knee deep in the water looking at him.
"What's wrong?"

"I need your help," Lucas yelled, then took off swimming.

Nathan saw that Lucas was swimming towards something in the water. He hurried down the stairs
and ran down the beach. In a moment he was swimming after Lucas. He came up next to Lucas and the
injured dolphin. Together they helped to get the dolphin to the boathouse where they could help him
easier.

That was the day that Darwin entered their lives. It was several weeks before the dolphin was well
again, but by that time they had all bonded closely and Darwin helped them to get over their grief.



The next year was spent working and playing. Lucas was just about finished with his gizmo,
which he called the vocorder. Nathan had taught Darwin a great deal of sign language. Carol found it
amusing how she had to call the two in every night for dinner, literally demanding Nathan to get in the
house.


____________________________________



Nathan and Lucas were boarding up the windows on the house. Nathan knew that they could ride
out a category 1 hurricane with no problems, but twelve year old Lucas was nervous. He had never
experienced a hurricane before.

"We have to get the boat in the boat house," Nathan said. The sky was getting dark and the storm
would be on them soon.

"Are you sure it was smart for us to stay here?" Lucas asked.

"Lucas, we'll be just fine. A level one really isn't that terrible. We have the house secure and
there are plenty of supplies. There's nothing to worry about."

"Okay," Lucas said, still not totally convinced, but he trusted his Dad.



Carol looked out the windows at Nathan and Lucas. They were almost done. Good, she could see
the storm was advancing on them. The waves crashing on to the beach were much larger than usual.
She wiped the kitchen towel over her face. She was so hot. She felt like she was coming down
sick. She felt achy and her head hurt terribly.


Nathan and Lucas hurried into the house and closed the door behind them. Nathan made sure
there was plenty of candles. He knew they would lose power and the generator would only be strong
enough to keep the fridge and the phone working.


______________________________________



It was twenty four hours later and the storm was gone, but so was his wife. Nathan watched as the
boat pulled away, leaving him and Lucas behind. Carol had come down sick right after the storm had
started. Nathan called for help immediately, but the hurricane ended up being a category 2 instead of a 1,
and by the time help reached them it was too late. She was gone.

Nathan saw Lucas' legs give out form underneath him and he plopped to the sandy beach and
began to sob. The boy had tried to remain strong during the night, never crying in front of Carol, but now
that it was over the pain over took his body and he gave in to hysterics.

Nathan wiped at his own tears. This was all his fault. If he had just gone to the main land to wait
out the storm, then Carol would still be alive. But no, he had to stand his ground and ride it out in his
home, and now his wife was dead, and as far as he was concerned, he had killed her.

He looked once again at the boy huddled in a ball rocking back and forth, crying violently. Then
Nathan turned and walked back into the house, completely lost for what it was he needed to do. When
Robert was presumed dead, Carol had done everything, called everyone, made the arrangements. Now it
was up to him, and he didn't know what to do. He was a Captain in the UEO, and right now he was lost.


____________________________________



Lucas stepped nervously out of his bedroom. It had been a little over a week since Mom had died,
and though he hated to admit it, he was a bit scared of his Dad right now. His kind, loving Dad had gone
away, and what was left was a man who drank until he passed out, and yelled a lot until he finally passed
out.

He looked outside and saw that it was raining again. This made four straight days of rain. The
sky was dark and gloomy, much like his mood.

Lucas stepped into the kitchen to find something to eat. He looked in the cupboards but they were
all empty. He went to the fridge and saw that it was mostly empty too. He found a slice of cheese and then
he went to get the loaf of bread. Most of it was moldy but he managed to find two slices that looked pretty
okay. He ate his cheese sandwich and drank a glass of water.

He looked into the living room and saw Dad sitting in his favorite chair. It was only 11 am, but
Dad already had a glass of whiskey in his hand. Lucas walked slowly towards the living room and looked
at Dad. Dad didn't even acknowledge him.

"Dad," Lucas said quietly, "Can I call Jack and have him pick up some food, or maybe I can go
with him to the market and get us some stuff? The kitchen is empty."

"So what are you saying?" Nathan demanded. "That I can't take care of us?"

"No, Dad. I just thought that we could use some supplies is all."

"I'll have you know that I can take care of us just fine!" Nathan's words were slurred together and
the alcohol spilled slightly as Nathan stood up from his chair to face Lucas.

"I know you can take care of us," Lucas said nervously, "it's just that…"

"I know what you're doing," Nathan said, "You blame me. You think I killed her don't you?"

"Huh?" Lucas replied.

"If we had left like you wanted to she'd be alive, but I insisted that we stay, and now you blame
me for killing her."

"No," Lucas said softly. Truthfully, that thought had never entered his head. Dad loved them and
would never hurt them.

"Liar," Nathan said. He started to wobble across the room, heading for Lucas. "Well, you go
right ahead and blame me if you need to, I don't care."

"Dad, I don't blame you," Lucas said, tears welling up in his eyes. Why was Dad acting like this?
Why did he have to drink? Lucas needed him now more than ever and right now Lucas was scared of him.

"Sure you do," Nathan spat. "You blame me, Carol's family blames me, everyone blames me. I
blame me!"

"Dad, you have to stop," Lucas said. "You're saying this cause you're drinking to much."

Nathan reached out and slapped Lucas. The action had startled Lucas and he stumbled slightly,
but he didn't fall. Lucas looked at him with a terrified look on his face. Nathan felt the bile in his stomach
start to churn. Dear god, he'd just struck his son. He had never hit his children, never.

Lucas held his hand to his stinging cheek. Slowly he began to back away from his Dad. Lucas
was in hell. His Mom and Robby were dead, and his Dad wasn't his Dad anymore. Lucas turned and
bolted from the house.

"Lucas!" Nathan called.

Lucas ignored him. He ran quickly across the beach and into the woods. He left the path and
headed into the thick overgrown brush. The ground was muddy from the never ending rain. He didn't
know if Dad was following him or not, but he had to hide. He stopped running after a bit. He was soaked
and his pajamas clung to his body.

What was he supposed to do now? Stay out here? He was afraid to go back home, at least right
now. Dad might be mad that he ran away. He could get in the boat and leave, but where would he go?
Not to mention, he'd have to go in the house to get the key. Lucas saw where the hurricane blew over a
tree. The tree rested on top of another and actually made a little shelter.

Lucas walked over to it and checked to make sure the tree was truly secure and wouldn't fall on
him. Once he was sure that the tree was safe, Lucas crawled under it and sat, his arms wrapped tightly
around his legs. His legs and rear was smeared with mud, but he didn't care. He'd just stay here for a
while and let his dad calm down. Then he'd go home again.



Nathan called for Lucas but the boy had run off in a terror. He was still shocked that he had hit
him. God, just what in the hell had he been thinking. He poured another glass of whiskey and quickly
downed it. Then he downed another. Nathan went to set the empty bottle down on the table but he missed
and the bottle fell and broke, sending glass everywhere.

Nathan started to walk to the kitchen to get the broom when he felt himself swaying on his feet.
He sank heavily into his chair and passed out.



Lucas wasn't sure just how long he had been outside. He'd spent most of that time crying. Crying
for Mom, crying for Robby, crying for himself, and crying for all the pain that Dad was in. Lucas now
understood what was wrong with Dad. He blamed himself for Mom's death.

Lucas never thought he could ever feel so sad. Sure, his heart had been broken when Robby died,
but this was so much worse. Right now Lucas felt truly alone in the world, like he didn't have anyone. He
sneezed a couple of times and wiped his running nose on his sleeve since he had nothing else to use. Great,
on top of everything else that was wrong he was catching a cold too. He was so tired. He looked at the
soggy ground and shrugged. He was already dirty, what the hell was a little more mud. He stretched out
and rested his head on his arm. He closed his eyes and fell into a restless sleep.




Nathan finally awoke many hours later. His head was pounding and he felt like hell. He got up
and went to the bathroom and popped a handful of aspirin to help ease his pounding hangover. He had this
terrible feeling that something was wrong. Something important. He tossed clod water onto his face,
trying to get his brain out from under the fog it was currently under.

He dried his face and looked in the mirror. He looked like hell. He hadn't shaved since the
funeral. He tried to remember the last time he had eaten anything. He couldn't remember. He decided to
go to the kitchen and grab some food. He walked slowly, trying to keep from moving his head too much.

He opened the fridge and found that the only thing in there was a six pack and moldy leftovers from the
wake. He grabbed a bottle of beer and then closed the fridge door. He set the bottle on the table and
looked in the cabinets and in the pantry , but they were pretty much empty too. He pulled down the box of
saltine crackers and popped one in his mouth.

He was just about to remove the lid from his beer when he thought about Lucas. He wondered
just what had the boy been eating the past couple of days since there was no food in the house. That
thought jogged a memory in his brain and he suddenly found himself remembering Lucas asking for food.
He left the bottle of beer on the table and headed towards Lucas' room to find him.

He opened the door and found the room empty. Where was the kid? Nathan tried once again to
remember. He gasped when suddenly the memory came rushing back to aching head. Dear god, he had hit
Lucas. He'd yelled and yelled at him and then he'd finally struck him across the face. Lucas had looked
like a deer caught in headlights, and then ran from the house.

Nathan quickly went about searching the house to see if Lucas had returned. It didn't take long
for him to figure out that he was alone in the house. Lucas still hadn't returned. Nathan quickly went to
the kitchen cabinet where they kept the key to the boat to see if Lucas had taken it and run away. He
breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that the key was still there. That meant that Lucas was still on the
island somewhere.

Nathan went to his room and pulled on some clean clothes and his shoes. He grabbed his rain
slicker since it was still raining and started outside to look for Lucas. Even in his hung over condition
Nathan found himself realizing that Lucas was all he had left in the world. He couldn't afford to drive the
boy away. Then another thought crossed his mind, a much sadder one. He was all that Lucas had left in
the world, and he had let the boy down. Instead of being there for him, helping him to grieve, he had
pushed him away, becoming a drunk, until finally the inevitable happened. He'd hurt him.

He looked around the area near the house, hoping that Lucas was just hiding somewhere near by,
too afraid to go back inside. He scanned the beach when he didn't see any sign of him. Lucas was
nowhere to be seen, which meant that Lucas had taken off for the woods. Nathan looked up and saw that it
would be dark soon, especially since it was raining. He hurried into the house and grabbed a flashlight and
then headed into the woods to look for Lucas.




Lucas woke slowly, shivering. He didn't feel good at all. He coughed several times and wished
he was in his bed instead of laying on the muddy ground. He wanted his mom. If she were here she'd be
tucking him in to bed and bringing him chicken soup. If she were here Dad would be his old self again.
That wasn't going to happen though, because she was gone, as was his whole world.

He rolled over on to his back and coughed several more times, ignoring the mud as it soaked his
back and matted his hair. He could take a bath when he went home. The only problem was, he didn't
know when that would be. He didn't want to go home to see Dad drinking again. He didn't want to be
yelled at again, and he most definitely didn't want to be hit again.

Once again Lucas felt himself start to cry. Why did she have to die? Why did she have to get
sick? Why did the hurricane have to come? He wanted things to go back to the way they used to be.

Lucas saw that it was getting dark outside. He knew he should go home, that it wasn't good to be
out in the rain if he was coming down sick, but somehow he just didn't seem to care. He closed his eyes
and cried himself to sleep once more.




Nathan was glad that he had grabbed the flashlight. He had been searching for Lucas for almost
two hours but he hadn't seen any sign of him. His island was only about a square mile, but most of it was
woods which were over grown and wild, so looking for him had proved to be more difficult than he had
thought it would be.

He had called Lucas' name every few minutes, but honestly, after what had happened, Nathan
wasn't sure if Lucas would answer him if he heard him. So, with that in mind Nathan did more looking
with his eyes than he did yelling for the boy.

He had finished searching one whole side of the island and was now working on searching the
other side of the winding path that cut through the middle. He moved slowly, looking thoroughly before
moving on to search a new area.

The rain and the fresh air had managed to really wake him up, pulling him out of the daze the hang
over had left him in. Actually, at the moment he felt pretty good. The fresh air and exercise was better
than aspirin.

He decided right then and there that there would be no more alcohol. He had spent the past ten
days in a drunken stupor, but no more. Carol would be so ashamed of him right now if she were here.
Here he was in a rainstorm looking for Lucas because he had frightened him so badly that the boy had run
away.

Nathan continued to look and suddenly found himself swearing softly. The flashlight was dying.
He hadn't been using it that long but he couldn't remember the last time he'd put new batteries in it. He
watched as the beam of light dimmed until it was completely gone. Great, now he could either go back to
the house and get new batteries, or keep looking for Lucas in the almost black forest.

He hated to do it, but he knew that he had to go back to the house. He'd come right back as soon
as he put in new batteries, but still, he'd lose at least a half an hour doing so. He decided to try calling for
Lucas before he headed to the house.

"Lucas! LUCAS!"

He waited a minute to see if he'd hear a response. He was genuinely shocked when he heard
Lucas call to him softly.

"Dad?" came the whispered response, followed by several deep coughs.

"Lucas, where are you?"

"Here."

Nathan followed the sound of Lucas' voice and a moment later he saw the white of Lucas'
pajamas. He kneeled down next to him. He saw the mixed emotions in Lucas' face. On the one hand
Lucas wanted to be glad to see him, but on the other Lucas was afraid of what would happen now.

Nathan didn't know what to say, how to talk to Lucas to ease his mistrust, so he chose actions over
words. He reached out slowly and pulled Lucas into a giant bear hug. Lucas was stiff in his arms at first,
but as Nathan continued to hold him Lucas finally relaxed and returned the hug.

"Lucas, I'm so sorry," Nathan finally said. "I swear…that will 'never' happen again for as long as
I live."

"Promise?" Lucas asked softly.

"I promise."

Lucas felt like he wanted to cry once again. Dad was back. His Dad was back. He still had at
least one person left in the world. He started to cough again.

"Are you okay?" Nathan asked.

"I don't feel good," Lucas admitted.

Nathan was immediately worried. What if Lucas had what Carol had? No, he couldn't lose the
last member of his family.

"Let's get you home," Nathan said. He helped Lucas up and they started to walk back towards the
house. Lucas was obviously sick and moving slowly. Nathan scooped the boy up into his arms and carried
him. Even though Lucas was twelve, he was small for his age. He had yet to hit his growth spurt and he
weighed next to nothing Nathan noticed.

"Dad, I can walk," Lucas protested.

"Shh, just rest," Nathan said. Lucas wrapped his arms around Dad and buried his face into his
neck. For the first time since Mom died he felt safe and had hope that the future might not be all bad.

It took Nathan about fifteen minutes to get back to the house. He entered and carried Lucas
straight upstairs. The boy was covered in mud from his head to his toe. Lucas had fallen back asleep and
Nathan lowered him into the tub. He unbuttoned Lucas' shirt and using one arm to lift Lucas up, he used
his other arm to slip the pajama shirt off the boy's body. Then he slid Lucas pajama bottoms off his legs.

He decided to try and rinse some of the mud off of Lucas before he filled the tub with water, otherwise he'd
have to drain that water and start over since the boy was so dirty.

He turned on the spray nozzle and once he was satisfied that the temperature was just right he
began to hose Lucas off. It took quite a bit of work to get the muck out of his hair.

Lucas awoke to someone massaging the top of his head. He felt warm and comfortable. He
opened his eyes and saw that Dad was hovering over him. It only took a moment to realize that he was in
the bathtub. The steam was helping with the pounding pressure in his head.

Nathan finally put the plug in the drain and started to fill the tub. He saw that Lucas was awake,
but the boy seemed content to just lie there and let him take care of him. Nathan saw why Lucas had been
so easy to carry. The boy had lost weight, a lot of it. Either he wasn't eating because he was so upset, or
he hadn't been eating because there was no food in the house. Nathan really hoped it was the first one.

He gently soaped up Lucas' hair and then rinsed it with the spray nozzle. Lucas closed his eyes so
as to not get any soap in them. Nathan took a dry washcloth and wiped them dry.

Nathan proceeded to wash Lucas' arms, legs, and chest.

"Sit up," Nathan said softly. Lucas did and Nathan washed the grime off of Lucas' back. Once
again Lucas coughed deeply. The hot moisture in the bathroom had caused Lucas' sinuses to break open
and they were now leaking like a faucet. Nathan felt bad that Lucas was sick, especially since it had
probably happened since no one taking care of him, and spending the day in the mud and rain surely hadn't
helped, but it was obvious that Lucas didn't have the same illness that Carol did, and for that he was truly
grateful.

Lucas was all clean but he decided to leave him there for a bit and let the warm water help him a
little more.

"I'll be right back," Nathan said.

"Where are you going?" Lucas asked.

"I'm going to turn your bed down and grab some clean pajamas for you." Nathan stepped out of
the bathroom and went to Lucas' room. The room was still relatively clean from the funeral and Nathan
had no problem finding clean pajamas in the drawer. He quickly tossed the blanket across Lucas' bed and
fluffed the boy's pillow. Then he headed back to the bathroom. He was afraid of Lucas falling asleep in
the tub and slipping under the water.

It was strange, for the past week and a half he had literally forgotten about Lucas as he was so
wrapped up in his own grief, but now suddenly he was terrified of something happening to the boy. Maybe
it was his own guilt about how he had treated Lucas that was driving this need to take care of him.

He found Lucas still lying back in the tub. His eyes were open but only slightly as he was on the
verge of falling asleep again. Nathan ran a hand through his wet hair and told him to wake up so he could
get dressed. Lucas nodded. Nathan pulled the plug from the drain and held up a giant towel for Lucas,
which he wrapped around the boy as he got out of the tub.

"Dry off and get into your pajamas," Nathan ordered, and then walked out of the room. Lucas did
as he was told and a few minutes later he stepped out of the bathroom. Dad was waiting for him in the hall
and Lucas smiled when he saw that. It was reassuring to see him there. At the moment Lucas needed to
feel comforted and loved. He needed it desperately. Dad put an arm around his shoulders and led him to
his room. Lucas got into his bed and Dad tucked the covers around him.

Nathan left the room and then came back a minute later carrying a small cup of Nyquil and a glass
of water. "Here, take this, it'll help you to rest better."

Lucas quickly swallowed down the yucky medicine and then washed it down with a big gulp of
water. He laid back in his bed once again and snuggled down in the soft blankets. It felt good to be in his
bed. "Will you hand me R.B.?" Lucas asked, pointing to the old bear sitting on his dresser.

Nathan got up and grabbed the bear, then handed it to Lucas who quickly shoved the bear under
the covers.

"I love you, Dad," Lucas whispered sleepily.

"I love you too," Nathan replied. He stayed with Lucas until he fell asleep. Then he quietly left
the room and set about to putting things right.

He looked at the clock and saw that it was going on nine-thirty. He stepped over to the vid-phone
and called Jack. The two spoke briefly, Jack giving Nathan his condolences, and then Nathan told Jack
what he needed from the store. Jack said he'd be only too happy to go first thing in the morning and bring
the groceries to the house. He said he understood how this must be difficult for him and Lucas. Nathan
thanked him sincerely and then disconnected.

Next he went to the kitchen and opened the cupboard over the stove. Inside were three more
bottles of whiskey, which he promptly poured down the drain. He tossed out the moldy leftovers and put
all the dirty containers into the dishwasher. He grabbed a load of his laundry and tossed it into the machine
to wash. Next was to grab the broom and sweep up all of the broken glass that covered the living room
floor.

Finally, it was time to take care of himself. He went to the bathroom and took a much needed
shower, and then he shaved. It felt good to see himself staring back from the mirror as opposed to the
stranger that had taken up residence for a while.

He stilled missed Carol, and his heart was still shattered, but he did still have a reason to live and
get up in the morning. Lucas. He had to pull himself together for his sake. He knew it was what Carol
would have wanted him to do.

He went to the laundry room and tossed the clothes into the dryer so they would be done come the
morning. Finally he was ready to go to bed himself. He checked on Lucas one more time before he
crawled under his own covers.


________________________________________



Lucas woke the next morning feeling slightly better than he had yesterday. He heard the clanging
of pots and pans coming from the kitchen and for one brief moment he thought it had all been a bad dream,
but then he quickly realized that it had been real. He didn't know who was in the kitchen, but it wasn't
Mom. He grabbed a tissue from the box on his nightstand and blew his nose.

He was truly surprised when he saw Dad come in his room carrying a tray.

"Good morning," Nathan said.

"Morning," Lucas said in a nasally voice.

"You need to sit up so you can eat," Nathan told him. "I've got your favorites here."

Lucas sat up in his bed and watch Dad set the tray in front of him. Lucas was surprised to see
eggs, bacon, toast, and orange juice.

"Where did the food come from?" Lucas asked.

"I called Jack last night. He dropped it off about forty-five minutes ago. Now eat." Nathan sat on
the edge of the bed.

"You shaved," Lucas said, stating the obvious.

"So you noticed," Nathan replied. "Listen, I want to apologize to you, and I mean for more than
just my hitting you yesterday. I'm sorry for all of it, the drinking, the yelling, my ignoring you, and for
hitting you. I let you down, but I promise to try to do better. I poured out all the whiskey. There will be
no more drinking, ever. I swear. I also swear that I'll never hit you ever again." Nathan had been
watching Lucas' reactions closely and he saw that the boy was struggling not to cry.

"I don't ya know."

"You don't what?" Nathan asked.

"I don't blame you for what happened to Mom. It wasn't your fault, it just happened." A single
tear ran down his cheek.

"Thank you," Nathan said. "I needed to hear that. Now hopefully I can stop blaming myself one
day." He sighed and then said, "Eat your breakfast before it gets cold, and make sure you drink your juice.
The vitamin C will help you fight your cold."

"Yes sir," Lucas said.

Nathan left Lucas alone to eat and he went to clean up the kitchen. He needed to keep himself
busy so the despair that he felt inside didn't have a chance to grab hold of him again. He needed to be
strong and find a way to keep life as stable as possible for Lucas since he was hurting just as bad as he was.



Lucas finished his breakfast and pushed the tray down by his knees. He reached under the covers
and pulled out R.B. and held the bear tight. Silently he thanked god for having his Dad back. He also
prayed for God not to take him away. He reminded him that he already had his Mom and Robby.

"Just leave me my Dad," Lucas said quietly. "You have them already, just leave me one, please."

He scooted back down in his bed and rolled on to his side. He rested his chin on top of R.B. and
just lay there. Dad came back in the room carrying another dose of Nyquil and a glass of water.

"Here," Nathan said, handing him the medicine.

Lucas swallowed it down and handed the two cups back to Dad. Nathan set them on the tray and
was about to carry the dirty dishes out of the room.

"Dad."

"What?"

"Will you stay with me?"

Nathan smiled at him. He put the tray down on the dresser and then sat next to Lucas in the bed.

Lucas quickly wrapped his arms around Nathan's waist and rested his head on Nathan's stomach. Nathan
sat back on the bed holding his son tight. He knew they were both hurting, but together they'd make it past
this. They would find the strength to go on. He was grateful for Lucas' being here. Somehow he knew
that if Lucas weren't here he would have fallen apart. He wouldn't have spent a week and a half as a
drunk, but years. Lucas had saved him from falling so far into the void that he couldn't find his way back.

Nathan and Lucas were both on the verge of falling asleep when they felt a bright light engulf
them. Neither were afraid of the light, it had a somehow familiar feel to it, and before either could talk to
the other they passed out.


________________________________________



Nathan felt a soft touch on his shoulder and slowly opened his eyes. He saw that both he and
Lucas were in a shuttle. What were they doing in a shuttle? He was lying on top of Lucas. What was
going on?

"You'll remember everything in just a minute," a pleasant voice said.

Nathan looked up to see Carol kneeling beside him. "Are you real, or am I dead?" Nathan asked.

"I'm sort of real, and no, you're not dead," she replied, smiling sweetly at him.

"Carol, I've missed you," Nathan said.

"I know, and I know the guilt you've carried over the years. That was why I gave you this gift."
She lightly touched his cheek and she spoke the words to him.

"Gift? How was losing you and Robert all over again a gift?"

"Yes, you lost us again, but you had your second chance. A chance to spend time with us, to
relive almost a decade of your life and make things right. Besides, the gift was more than just having me
and Robert."

"Lucas," Nathan whispered turning his head to look at the unconscious boy.

"Yes. He's a wonderful boy, and the two of you love each other so much that it only seemed right
that he become a member of the family," she smiled.

As Nathan listened to Carol and looked about the shuttle he found his memory returning. "Was
that really real, or did I imagine it? Am I imagining you? I'm so confused."

"Always the scientist. Always having to have the answers. I'm glad to see that you are your old
self once more. It broke my heart to see you suffering all those years. Nathan, what happened is as real as
you want it to be and I'm afraid that's all I can really say."

"Did Lucas have the same dream I did?"

"Talk to him, he's probably going to be a little frightened when he wakes up, but together, you
two can get through anything. Here, this will probably help too." Carol handed Nathan a worn old teddy
bear. He recognized the bear as R.B. immediately.

Nathan saw that Carol was starting to fade from view. "No, please don't go," he begged.

"I must, but know I'll always love you and one day we will be together again. Also, I'm glad you
found someone knew. Kristin is good for you, she will keep you grounded."

"What does that mean?" Nathan asked, but his question fell on deaf ears as Carol was already
gone. He sat completely still just letting all that had happened play in his mind for a moment. So much
had happened. He suddenly wondered what day it was, where were they exactly. He really felt like the
dream had been real, as if he had just lived ten years with Carol and Robert, watching Lucas grow from a
small child into the person he was today.

He noticed that he also didn't feel much of the guilt he had carried over the years. Had having to
take care of Lucas really made him not become a drunk? Had Lucas saved him from years of despair and
self-induced misery?

He came out of his reverie as he felt Lucas start to stir next to him.

"Daddy?" Lucas whispered.

Nathan smiled, "You haven't called me that since you were ten." Lucas just looked up at him with
confused eyes. After a moment though those same eyes welled up with tears. Lucas sat up and wrapped
his arms around Nathan's waist and laid his head on his Dad's stomach.

"Hey, now. What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Nathan asked.

Lucas sniffed and wiped at his eyes using his sleeve. "I'm not sure," he said as he tightened his
hold on Nathan. "I thought it was real, but it was just a dream. I want it to be real."

Nathan pried Lucas off of him and held the boy at arms length. "Lucas, I can't explain it, but it
was real. At least, it was real for us. I don't really know how or why, but we were given a gift. I got to fix
things that I messed up, and you got to be my son, for real."

"You mean you know what I'm talking about?" Lucas asked. "You saw it all too? I was little,
and you were my dad, and…and Carol and Robby were there…we were a family. We went to the island
after Robby died…and…and then there was a hurricane…and Mom died…" Lucas started to cry once
more as the memory of her death came back to him.

Nathan pulled Lucas close and held the boy. "Yes, I saw it all too. We were there together, and
we lost them together, but we also managed to get past it together. You saved me. You gave me a reason
to keep on living. I'm sorry I hit you. I still can't believe I did that."

"It wasn't you," Lucas said, "the whiskey made you do it."

"I know, but I still feel bad about that."

"I…this is so strange. You're apologizing for something you did in a dream," Lucas told him.

"Yes and no. I'm not sure just how much it was a dream and how much really happened." Nathan
held out the teddy bear for Lucas.

"R.B.," Lucas gasped. He took the bear from Dad. "How?"

"Carol gave it to me to give to you?"

"Mom was here?" Lucas asked.

Nathan wasn't even surprised when Lucas called Carol his mom. After experiencing a dream that
felt like it had been ten years long it only made sense. "Yeah, just for a moment. Long enough to tell me
about our gift, to tell me that she approved of Kristin, and to give you R.B. back."

Lucas looked truly sad. "I wish I could have seen her one more time."

"I'm sorry you missed her, but we'll both see her again some day."

"You mean in heaven, right?" Lucas asked.

"Yeah, I do," Nathan told him. "But I also hope that we don't go there for a long time, because I
want to be able to watch you grow for a little while longer. Like Kristin said, you have to give us
grandchildren."

Lucas smiled at him. The two sat quietly for a moment, still trying to comprehend everything that
had happened.

"Wait a minute," Lucas said suddenly. "Weren't we about to crash into the ocean floor?"

Nathan's eyes went wide and he jumped up and ran to the console. It dawned on him the power
was on since the lights in the shuttle were on, but yeah, just before all of this had started the were doing a
5,000 foot free fall to the bottom of the ocean.

He looked at the controls and breathed a sigh of relief. All their instruments were working and
they had full power. He saw that communications had been turned off. He quickly flicked the switch and
instantly heard Commander Ford calling to them, demanding that they respond.

"This is Captain Bridger," Nathan said.

"Captain, thank god," Ford said.

"Nathan, what happened?" Kristin asked over the radio. "You and Lucas have been missing for
almost three hours."

"Three hours?" Lucas was shocked. "It felt like ten years."

"What?" came Ford's reply.

"Uh, Commander, we are on our way back to seaQuest right now. Please inform the seaFire that
we will be arriving tomorrow for the necessary computer upgrades."

"Yes, Captain. Just what happened exactly?" Ford asked.

"Well, it's a really long story," Nathan told him. "Hopefully Lucas and I can explain when we get
back, although we don't really understand it ourselves totally. Bridger out." He flicked off the comm. and
looked at Lucas. The boy was sitting in the co-pilot's chair holding R.B. in his hands.

"You okay?" Nathan asked him as he started to pilot the launch back to seaQuest.

"I think so," Lucas said, "although I'm still confused."

"How so?" Nathan asked.

"Well, I suddenly feel like I don't know what my past is. I mean, am I the kid that the
Wolenczaks raised, or am I the kid that you and your wife raised? One past is real, one is a dream, but I
want the dream to be the real one. What's even crazier is at the moment I'm trying to remember things and
I'm getting them confused even in my head. I can't remember which event happened in which past. Hell, I
don't even know if I'm making any sense right now." Without even thinking about what he was doing
Lucas wrapped his arms around R.B. and rested his chin on the bears head.

"What?" Lucas asked when he saw Dad smiling at him.

"Nothing, it's just that considering how often you hold that bear to your chin I'm amazed that he
even has any fur left on top his head."

Lucas smiled back at him. "This is sort of cool," Lucas said. "We have a past now."

"Yeah, we do. I remember so many things. The day you became fascinated with dolphins. The
way you worshiped Robert, how much you loved your special school. I remember how cute you were
when you were four years old and how you used to love to sleep with Carol and me. I remember giving
you baths in the tub and you running around the house naked as Carol tried to catch you and put your
pajamas on.

"It may not be real to the rest of the world," Nathan said, "but it is to us, and maybe that's all that
matters. I know you're confused, but really you have a choice. You can choose to remember the past that
has you beaten, neglected and alone, or you can choose to remember the one where you have family and
lots and lots of love. Personally, I think I prefer the second option."

Lucas seemed to think for a minute and then smiled. "I think I like the second option too."


_______________________________________



Later that evening it was an exhausted Captain that walked slowly back to his quarters. There had
been a million questions asked of him, and like Lucas, he had very few answers to give the higher ups. He
learned that he and Lucas had been missing from radar for over three hours. Mini subs had been sent out to
look for them and had actually piloted right in the area where they suddenly resurfaced but hadn't seen hide
nor hair of them.

Nathan and Lucas explained about the shuttle malfunction, and the bright light, and even their
shared experience of the dream, but they really didn't have any more information to tell. Nathan chose not
to mention seeing Carol in the shuttle. He was afraid of being ordered to take a psychiatric leave if he had.

He stepped into his quarters and saw Kristin sitting there waiting for him.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi. How are you?"

"Exhausted. Let me guess? You want to know what happened out there?" he asked. "If you
don't mind, can we talk about it tomorrow. I've been talking about this for hours and right now I really
don't want to rehash it one more time."

"Yes, we can talk tomorrow, but truthfully, Lucas explained a lot of it to me. It seems like you
two had a shared psychic episode out there, though I don't know what triggered it."

"I guess, I don't know what you'd call it, other than it felt very, very, very real."

"I know," Kristin told him. "Lucas mentioned that he really felt as if he had relived his childhood
with you and Carol as his parents. He even spent a half an hour bragging about how Robby was the coolest
brother around."

Nathan smiled at that remark.

"I guess my question would be, what happens now?" Kristin asked.

"What do you mean?" Nathan asked.

"Well, don't take this the wrong way, but I would understand if you wanted to call off the
wedding, or postpone it at the least," she said.

"Why would I want to do that?" Nathan asked, slightly confused.

"Honestly, maybe because at the moment you're still in love with Carol. Six hours ago you were
having a dream of living a wonderful life with her and Lucas. At the very least I wouldn't be surprised if
you were mourning her passing. Lucas is, it only seems natural that you would be too."

Kristin's topic of conversation had caught him off guard to say the least. He found himself very
confused. "What do you mean Lucas is mourning her?"

"Just that," she replied. "He just experienced having a loving mother who raised him from a baby,
and then he lost her. Not only is he confused from the incident, but he is hurting over her death, and
Robby's."

"I didn't realize," Nathan said, running a hand through his hair. He had been to busy since their
return to stop and sense what Lucas was going through. "Where is he?"

"He's in his room," Kristin said.

Nathan sat down in the chair next to Kristin and took her hand in his. "Kris, I love you. I love
you very much. Yes, a few hours ago I was with Carol, and yes it may have been a dream, but like Lucas
said, it was very real, so real that as far as I'm concerned, that's how it really was. But truthfully, I don't
want to call off the wedding. I've mourned for Carol already, both in the old past and this new past. All I
want to do now is live in the present and plan my future. Carol was my past, and I will always treasure it,
but you…you are my present and my future."

"Are you sure?" Kristin asked.

"Positive," Nathan told her.

Kristin wrapped her arms around Nathan's neck and held on to him tightly. She had been so
afraid that she might have lost him. Though she was ashamed to admit it, she had been terribly jealous as
Lucas told her of his and Nathan's experience on the shuttle.

She finally pulled away from Nathan and said, "You should go in and see Lucas. I think he needs
you more than I do at the moment."

"Are you okay?" Nathan asked her.

"I'm fine now, but I was worried for a while there. I thought I had lost you to a ghost."

"You haven't lost me," Nathan said. "If it makes you feel any better, the ghost approves of you."

"What?"

"Nothing," Nathan smiled. "We'll talk more later."

"Okay," Kristin said.

Nathan got up and went to Lucas' door and knocked lightly on it.

"Come in," Lucas said.

Nathan opened the door and stepped into the mostly dark room. The aqua tubes cast soft blue
ripples of light through the room so it was never truly dark. He saw that Lucas was lying on his bed staring
at the tube. R.B. was held firmly to his chest. He sat down on the bed next to Lucas.

"Do you want to talk?" Nathan asked.

"Not really," Lucas replied, still staring at the tube.

Nathan knew that if he just sat there for a few minutes with Lucas the boy would break and start
spilling his heart out. The trick to dealing with Lucas was patience, and to just be there with him. Lucas
couldn't be rushed to talk, even when he wanted to talk.

Nathan sighed tiredly. He hoped Lucas wouldn't keep him waiting too long, he was dead tired
and really wanted to rest, but after a couple of minutes he had yet to start talking. He decided to take a
more direct approach. He turned on to his side and laid down next to Lucas resting his head in the crook of
his arm. He raised his other arm up so he could run his fingers through Lucas hair.

"Do you think she really would have loved me if I had been hers?" Lucas asked.

"Do you mean Carol?" Nathan asked.

"Yes."

"Yes, she would have loved you very much. She told me as much in the shuttle."

"I wish I could have known her for real," Lucas said.

"Lucas, you do know her for real. What we experienced was very real. At least that's how I feel.
Stop trying to make your brain sort real from not real. Do you want it to be real?"

"Yes."

"Are you currently holding a very real teddy bear in your arms that was given to you by Robby the
day he left for the academy?"

"Yes."

"Then it's real. Except it."

"But if I do, that means my Mom is dead, and so is my brother. I want it to be real, but I want
them to still be here." Lucas rolled over so he could look Dad in the face. "Life was perfect. It was
everything I had ever dreamed of, but it's gone."

"Carol may be gone, but you still have Kristin, and she is every bit your mother as Carol was.
Plus you still have me. I learned something from what happened. No matter what life throws at us we can
get through it as long as we're together. That was the true gift we were given. Not just an alternate past,
but a sense of family and togetherness. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"I think so. All I know is that I don't ever want you to die and leave me too," Lucas said.

"Well, unfortunately, I am a human being, and that means that one day I will die, but I think we
are going to be together for a good long time before that happens. Call it a hunch, or maybe one of those
psychic premonitions," Nathan teased.

"This is once that I'm glad you're psychic then," Lucas said. "But I still don't want you poking
around in my head when you're not supposed to be."

"I'll try not to snoop too often," Nathan replied with a grin. "Only when I'm worried about you."

"That's not fair since you're almost always worried," Lucas said.

Nathan just laughed. He was glad to see Lucas' sarcasm returning. He knew that he was right.
Together they could survive almost anything.