I close the door and walk into our apartment... my apartment... your apartment? I don't know anymore... there has been so much time since you have been around it feels like an eternity. I'm sick of this, I miss you so much.
My eyes look over this place; in every corner I can see your ghost.
In the door... I used to always wait for you to return so that, in the same moment you walked through the door, I would jump on you to welcome you home.
In the kitchen... My hands trail run along the small table. I can see me laying on the surface with you on top of me... tasting me. You used to say that the only way you would eat something sweet, would be if it was on me.
The living room... Oh god... My eyes wander to the window. You loved to push me against the glass so that we could "appreciate the view" while we had sex, you kinky bastard.
The bathroom... I loved when you surprised me while I was in the shower. I smile when I remember how many times I was late because I liked to trace the water drops on your pale skin with my tongue.
But today it's so difficult to enter our room.
A year ago today.
You left
You left me.
And in that moment my routine begun. Get up. Go to work. Eat something –after my co-workers remind me. Do you know Sasuke, that ramen doesn't taste the same anymore? And when I get back to the apartment, I go to sleep haunted by memories of you. When I wake up the next morning, I wish I never did.
I don't care if you said you didn't have a choice! You told me to live here; you made me promise to stay so that you'd always know I would be here. But what about me? I hate it now because it has become impossible for me to be here and not recall every moment, every whisper, every touch we shared together.
I know my heart stopped a long time ago...
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"It's time to move on Naruto." He was told by a pink haired friend.
"You haven't been the same since he left" his canine-like friend agreed.
"Don't you think that I know that already?! God damn it! I fucking know!"
He yelled at them... He yelled at them! They all were shocked, their blond friend indeed wasn't the same, he looked empty.
The firsts months he seemed ok, he was trying to understand, they were in touch and it wasn't like they broke up; his lover just was overseas.
"Naruto, we know you love him", his name wasn't spoken out loud anymore. "But this is enough, it's been nearly five months since you've talked to him."
"I know", he said barely able to hold back tears, "But my heart doesn't listen to my head." The look of pain in his eyes was heartbreaking.)
"But why? Why did he tell me to stay in his place? Why did he ask me to wait for him? Why did he say that... he loved me?" He carried on with a quiet voice "I can't stand him being coward, I need to hear him say that he doesn't anymore"
"But Naruto, have you thought that maybe he hasn't been able to call you? You are here thinking god knows what and maybe he was in a accident or something"
"Kiba, you moron!" said their friend hitting the brunet, "Can you be more tactless? Sasuke is fine! Don't say those kinds of things!"
"Yeah... he is fine"
"Naruto..." his friends looked at each other not knowing what to say anymore.
-
Another day ended with him flawlessly following the same routine. So when Naruto came home one night, he didn't notice that the lights were already on. He didn't notice the small suitcase laying by the door. He was so lost in thought that he didn't even notice the slim silhouette observing him.
He sat on the couch in the living room with his shoulders down. He had rings under his eyes and his usually tanned skin looked pale- unhealthy.
Uneasiness and guilt took hold of the observer.
He was so afraid of getting hurt that he ended up doing the hurting. He could tell... For a moment it was even hard to breathe, he didn't think he could've caused this.
He was terrified that his blond would find another lover so he left him alone. That was why he stopped calling; so that his blond couldn't tell him that he didn't love him anymore. He would wait until he returned home and then... then what? Then it would be easier for him to gain the blond back. He would definitely fight for Naruto, but with him being away it was difficult. He was so focused on his own fear that the blond would find another person –he is so handsome, so cheerful, always grabbing attention- that he forgot Naruto's own insecurities.
Panic took over his body like an adrenaline shoot. What was he thinking? He was anxious of not finding Naruto home anymore... he actually had arrived few days before to do some searching, he was so happy that Naruto had fulfilled his promise and eager to see him again that he didn't stop to think about the consequences of his actions... suddenly his fantasized idea to get home and get an open arms welcome seemed so stupid.
Sasuke stood there for a few minutes, worried about the blond's lack of attention. But what broke him was when Naruto looked in his direction, there was no recognition, no acknowledgment. It was as if he saw nothing.
He tried to calm himself as he kneeled in front of Naruto, alarmed at his reaction –or lack there of. So he touched him, caressed his cheek with the back of his hand, sending fire through his system.
Naruto jumped at the sensation and frowned like he was waiting to wake up. A slight smile appeared on Sasuke's lips when the blond blinked a few times. With his free hand he grabbed the others saying without words that he was real. When realization came so did the tears but the anger came along as well.
Naruto threw himself at Sasuke, his fist connecting with Sasuke's jaw painfully, but the raven didn't even try to stop any of the punches that were being thrown at him because he was thankful that he finally got a reaction from the blond. They kept going, breaking apart the entire living room, but neither of them seemed to care or notice until Naruto ended on top of Sasuke who was on the floor. The blond grabbed him by the collar and shook him desperately.
"Sasuke" Naruto breathed his name passionately.
"Naruto" the raven whispered back.
And with their names in each others lips they begin their lovemaking. Their clothes were torn apart neither of them wanting to wait another second, lips crashed against lips and skin. It was rough, it was demanding, it was dirty. But it was refreshing at the same time. With each thrust the distance between them became smaller, with each moan the words that hadn't been spoken were told and with each kiss the fears that they both shared were sent away.
After a night of rough sex and intense lovemaking Sasuke took the phone and called Naruto's office saying that he wasn't going for a whole week. Naruto at first was upset but when Sasuke came back to bed and embraced him, he was happy that after so much time he was going to break his routine.
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This goes for my good twin Aikage who was my beta for this .:hugs and gives cookies:.
Any comment will be appreciated!