Wanted to try out a new way of writing my OTP and this is what came out. It's a bit more dark than I usually go (with their personalities, I mean), but it was different, and I liked it. So here it is: Enjoy!

Pairing: Genis X Mithos

WARNINGS: Shounen-ai, boys kissing, boys touching (not THAT way XP), mention of alcohol use, and innuendos (if you squint…?)

If none of the aforementioned warnings apply to you then please, continue reading. If they do apply to you then the back-button is your friend, use it as a life line.

I don't own Tales of Symphonia, which means I don't own Genis or Mithos. Dangit.

--

'Why don't you just—'

'No!' Genis cried out, trying his best to stand when he could barely even talk. His legs were shaking and I could tell his sister wanted nothing more than for him to just sit back down and let Lloyd take care of this. But something told me that wasn't going to happen. I could see it in his eyes, and I could hear it in his voice. 'You can't just…give up like that!' He looked like he was on the verge of tears. I should've been honored, but I wasn't.

How could I be? I failed. I failed to resurrect my sister I—

'You aren't weak.' His voice cracked, 'I know you aren't. So just…' he trailed off as he took a step towards me. I could have moved away, I could've done anything. But I didn't. I let him move closer. And that was when I began to feel again. I was here, kneeling wounded on the floor, and he was obviously hurt too. He almost collapsed before he reached me.

'Genis…!' Lloyd cautioned, 'You—'

'I what?' Genis snapped back, 'Can't I be selfish? Just this once?' I didn't hear the meaning of his words at first. I only did after he reached out and touched me. He shouldn't be able to touch me—I shouldn't have let him. But I did. I felt how warm his hand was, and it wasn't just that. His eyes were warm as well. Warm with wet tears that were rolling down his cheeks. He was crying, whether for me or because he was in pain I didn't know.

They seemed to know, though. They were respecting his wishes, whatever they happened to be. 'Can't we save you?' He asked softly, I was sure only I could hear him now, 'Will you…please live? Is that one thing…I can ask you?' He was choking back a sob. He wanted an answer, but would I give him the right one?

'Only if you can tell me.' I finally spoke, 'Why I want to live.'

--

I let out a barely audible gasp as my eyes shot open. I hadn't had that dream in a while. The one where I almost died. I let out a tiny sigh and sat up. It was early, too early for anyone to really be up, and yet, when I looked around the room, I was alone. The early sunlight filtered in through the nearly transparent curtains onto the cherry oak wood that made up all the flooring in this home.

This home I shared with Genis. Who wasn't in the bed he was supposed to be in. Who wasn't in the room we shared like he was supposed to be. I would have panicked, maybe if I had been kinder—maybe if me being alive hadn't really been his fault—I would get up to search for him. But that's not why I got up. That's not why I decided to search through the small house for the silver-haired teen. No. That wasn't it at all.

Or at least that's what my mind told me.

My heart kept spouting some other nonsense, but I didn't have to listen to it. I never did. Logical over emotional was the way to win. The way to be powerful. But not in a peaceful world. The newly combined world of Aselia. The world I shouldn't have lived to see, and yet I was here, alive, breathing, withoutthe help of my Cruxis Crystal. Here, told to die naturally even though that would mean one thousand more years of torture. I had to ask myself the one question I had asked in that dream.

'Why am I alive?'

He never gave me an answer.

My feet padded across the cool floor as I made my way to the lone window. The curtains had been pushed aside, more sunlight was streaming this early than I was used to. And the window was slightly ajar. I hadn't noticed that before. I pushed the window open a little more and climbed onto the window seat before peering up at the small ledge that overhung from the roof.

At first I didn't see anything, even though something told me he was out here. Then I heard a soft sort of music, something that sounded like it came from an ocarina of some sort. Painful images of my sister flashed through my mind, and the dream—the words—echoed in my mind, bitterly reminding me of my failure.

That thought suddenly made the thought of just jumping off the nearby cliff that much more appealing. But I shook the thought away. I'd never know why I was alive in the first place, why I had even been allowed to live, if I decided to take it away just that easily.

So instead I called out, "Genis?" And almost immediately the music stopped. A few seconds later and a head appeared, hanging upside down, centimeters away from my own, nearly making me fall backwards in unintended—and not wanted—shock. That shouldn't have even startled me. But it did. And he was looking apologetic, and flustered, all at the same time.

"Mithos? You're up?" He asked in a quiet tone, even though the answer to that question was obvious. He seemed to realize this and, after a moment's hesitation that really wasn't needed, he maneuvered so that he was somehow kneeling on the small edge of sloped roof right under the windowsill. He didn't have a good grip, he'd probably fall if he let go of the sides of the window, but he didn't seem worried. "Why are you up?" he decided to finally ask. I don't know what facial expression, if any, I made, but it seemed to give him a clue. His eyes flashed uneasily as he asked again, "Did you have a bad dream?"

I had the sudden urge to lie in response; the lie was forming easily on my tongue as I spoke, "No. Not really. I just woke up." For a moment he analyzed the words, seeming to not really believe them, and then, almost abruptly, he gave in.

"Okay…" he mumbled, tightening his grip on the sides of the window and I moved backward a little, so he could step through. But for a moment he didn't. He just stared at me. Then he released his grip on one side of the window, with that hand free he reached out and took a strand of hair that had fallen in front of my face at some point. For a moment we stayed like this. Me. Him. I couldn't move. He didn't seem to want to. But he snapped out of it first, and stepped the rest of the way through the window.

But his eyes never broke contact with mine, and as much as I didn't want to, I found myself staring back. It was an awkward connection, a new, weak one that didn't mean much of anything. Not to me.

I looked away first, "I'll…take a shower." I turned away easily, padding back across the floor to the connecting bathroom. I didn't bother to even lock the door as I shut it. He would leave me be until I was done. He was too nervous, this…this living arrangement was still too new for that need of security, or at least it was on my part. He seemed too nervous to really trust me at any time.

But maybe trust wasn't even the issue?

I shook the thought away as I turned the shower head on. It didn't take long for the icy water to turn to the temperature I liked. Warm, but not scalding. Warm enough to get rid of the early morning chill, but not hot enough to do any damage.

I grabbed the shampoo Genis had bought at some point and placed it on the edge as I stepped in. I let the water run over me, wetting my hair until it stayed matted to my forehead, shoulders, and neck. Then I took the white bottle and squeezed the pale blue liquid into my hand, coating as much of my hair as I could before lathering it into a thick, white foam. I shut my eyes quickly and painlessly as I let the foam wash away before repeating the motion.

At some point afterward I felt my eyes begin to droop, or in fact it felt like they were opening. The water had also gotten colder, much colder than it had been when I first got in. Then I heard the sound of the doorknob turning, before seeing a familiar head of silver hair, and familiar baby blue eyes peer in. They focused on me and widened slightly, urging the owner of the eyes to walk in.

"Mithos?! Don't tell me you fell asleep!" His voice sounded reprimanding at the worst. But the words didn't surprise me in the least. It seemed like the action—like stating I had fallen asleep—was really what happened, regardless if I had really just been sitting here dozing the entire time. Which was really the exact same thing.

He rushed over to me and quickly shut the water off, his cheeks tinting a light shade of pink as he fumbled for one of the towels hanging on the rack next to the shower. It amused me at how much effort it seemed to take, his hands couldn't seem to agree on the appropriate action to take and even though they meant to grab my towel, they wound up grabbing his instead.

The lack of coordination finally fixed itself enough to the point where he just gave up and yanked the towel off before throwing it at me. He mumbled something under his breath and quickly looked away as I stood up to wrap it around myself. I would have asked if he was okay, but I knew it wasn't like me to ask something so kind. Besides, it was easy enough to see the problem.

"You're shy." The words were blunt and they seemed to make him blush that much harder, "You don't need to be. It's not like—"

"I know." He boldly cut me off, staring down at the floor with intense curiosity, "Lloyd said the same thing. Doesn't make it any better."

I would have laughed if I hadn't felt so drained, "Did it ever occur to you that that idiot is actually right?"

"I know." He hissed out with even more intensity than before, "And I know it doesn't help! Not me, anyway!" His eyes quickly darted up and managed to focus on mine, "Get dressed. You've gotta be cold." He was attempting to keep his voice even and it surprised me that he almost seemed to succeed. His voice cracked only once.

I didn't respond, though, instead I simply walked past him back into the bedroom we shared. I walked over to where I kept my clothes and, quickly, I found an outfit for the day. I dressed myself quickly, all too aware that Genis was watching me, and yet trying to focus on something different. He was still young, though. I had to give him credit for doing this much. 'At least it was better than in the beginning.' I buttoned up the last button to the shirt I decided to wear and turned back to him. He was fidgeting and looking everywhere but directly at me, 'When he used to not even touch me, like I wasn't even real.'

"Genis?" His eyes snapped up and focused on me, "Why were you up?" I didn't know why I asked, but it kept the awkwardness down. I didn't even expect him to answer right away. But he did. With an odd little half smile I used to see on my own face and a sad look deep in his eyes.

"I got a letter." He answered, looking down at his feet, "From Raine, she asked if you were any better." He winced as if the words hurt him, and it looked like he didn't want to continue.

"And?" I prompted for him, but he didn't flinch this time.

Instead he looked back up at me with a dead gaze, "I didn't know how to answer it. Can you help me?"

That shocked me, "What makes you think I know even more than you do?" I let the words fall out as they came. "I'm alive but I don't know why. If I don't know why I'm even here, how can I get any better?"

I expected him to say something heartfelt and 'Lloyd-like' but he didn't.

"Actually, she said something else besides that." I blinked in confusion, "She asked me if I was…doing better too."

"And how did you answer that?"

He smiled again, but this time it was a broken smile. "I didn't know either. She'll be worried if I send her something like that." He paused, waiting for me to respond.

"I'm sure she will be." I decided to answer.

"Yeah, so I can't tell her that. But…I can't tell her about you either. She'll try to take me away from you. I-If right now isn't different from you being dead, I-I mean." The way he half stuttered the last part of his sentence caught my attention. He hardly ever stuttered around me anymore, or at least he tried not to.

"Why?" It was the first time I really asked a question out of pure curiosity.

"Because I'm the one who asked you to live aren't I?" His pupils began to shake with held in tears.

"But you never told me why that was."

"I said I wanted to be selfish, didn't I?" He asked his voice soft as began to walk towards me.

"But that doesn't say much." I quipped back, watching him steadily move towards me. The closer he got the more I could tell he was shaking.

"Just that I'm selfish." He mumbled when he was standing right in front of me, "I wanted—and still want—to give you a reason to live. I can give you one now, if you want me to." He seemed to calm down a little, "But I know you wouldn't want it. Because it'd be forced."

My eyes narrowed at that, "Forced? How?" I noticed then, with him standing as close as he was to me, that he was practically as tall as me now. Maybe a half an inch shorter, but it was close enough.

"I'd rather not explain it." He replied dryly. "But I can show you. Only if you want me to."

I turned to fully face him, "Why not? Amuse me." He frowned at the word choice, but the frown quickly disappeared as he forced himself against me. I stumbled backward, hitting the bed with the back of my knees before I forcefully sat down on it. I opened my eyes, which I had closed due to the sudden impact, and my mouth opened instinctively. Only to snap shut again when Genis glared down at me. He was still standing, but there was something distinctly different about the way he was holding himself.

Then, just as abruptly as he had shoved me, he did something I never expected. Or maybe I did, but just not…not this way.

He kissed me. His lips, soft, but forceful on my own, and for one of the first times I felt completely and totally weak. The kiss didn't help that much, it also didn't help that it seemed like he had practice in this field. He was too young to know how to kiss this…this…

This what? Good? It was more than good, the sensual part of my brain demanded to tell me.

'But where did he get the practice?'

Before the kiss could go any further he pushed himself away, like he knew what I was thinking. To even further prove the point that he had had practice he wasn't even breathing hard.

"You aren't as innocent as I thought you were." Was the first thing I could think of saying and for some reason or another he found that funny. Or at least he was grinning.

Grinning and shaking his head, highly amused with what I just said. "It's nothing really." He practically hummed, "I got practice whether I wanted it or not. It's a plus for traveling with people who are older than you." Then, almost as a slapped in after thought he added, "Unless you don't want it."

"And what exactly is it?"

He laughed at that and shook his head, "What do you think? You're older than me by a few thousand years, you know what it means."

I shifted closer to him, unintentionally or not, and stated, "But there are different kinds of it. Which one was your it?" He seemed to want me to guess, the way he was looking sideways at me, no longer shy or nervous or anxious or any other fidgety emotion he had been feeling earlier. "It can't be too strong of an it. With Raine there and all."

"She stopped watching me after I told her I didn't have a crush on Presea and that that was just her overprotective sister instincts kicking in gear." He hastily stated, a sudden blush appearing on his cheeks after the words left his mouth. The words both amused me as well as horrified me at the same exact time.

"How far did it go?"

"Just…" he looked down at his lap, almost ashamed, "Lots of kissing. N-Not much more than that."

"With who?" I egged on, though I had to suddenly wonder why I was interested. Yes it was amusing. This boy next to me used to be—and in a way still was—a friend of mine. But it was also a mixture of just wanting to know. Like this was some horrible piece of gossip floating around that was the 'new' thing to talk about.

"Just, ah," he shifted uncomfortably, "it doesn't really matter, does it?"

"Humor me."

He didn't seem as hurt by my words as he had last time, even though I was technically saying this was amusing. He answered quickly and calmly, eyes shut tight, "Lloyd, then Zelos when he was drunk."

I made a face at that, "I thought you had better tastes than to do something with the Chosen."

He laughed at that, "Yeah. Thought I did too, but he…actually knew about…why I kissed you before even I figured it out…so…"

"So immediately you wanted to practice with him?"

He made some sort of horrified face as I said that. "What?! Eww, no, y'think I would with him just because he figured that out?" he shook his head rapidly; "he's the one who kissed me! And didn't I say he was drunk?! His breath was disgusting!" He stuck his tongue out at that and I almost had the urge to laugh. But I didn't. I forgot how to laugh, and I wouldn't start learning again just because of this. Whatever this was.

"So you just kissed. That's it?" I asked, wondering again why I suddenly felt the need to care. But it was amusing to see the flush on Genis' face, like this was some sort of horribly dirty secret that was about to get revealed.

"Y-Yeah that's it. For the most part. Um, a-and some touching." He flushed even brighter at this.

"Touching?" He flushed even darker when I asked, "What sort of touching?"

"N-Not that kind! Just…just…!" He looked like he was about to have a panic attack because he couldn't find the right words to describe it.

"Why don't you just show me?"

His eyes widened at that, "Wha…?" He didn't seem to fully comprehend what I was saying and, swallowing thickly he finished his question, "Sh-Show you as i-in…?"

I would've rolled my eyes at that, but I didn't. Instead I chuckled and scooted closer to him on the bed, "As in," I grabbed the hand closest to me, "show me. It's always easier to learn by example, right?" I was trying to feign innocent curiosity in my voice, but somewhere in the back of my mind I knew it was far from innocent.

But I couldn't exactly pinpoint why.

"W-Well yes that's t-true." Genis finally managed to answer me, "But I don't—not if you don't—" he squeezed his eyes shut, "I don't want to force you!"

"But if you think about it, I'm the one forcing you aren't I?" I jerked him towards me, falling back on the bed as I did so, so that he was now half-sprawled over me.

"That doesn't make sense." The silver-haired half-elf retorted, staring down at me with still-flushed cheeks, and bright eyes. I pretended not to notice his hand slightly shaking in my grip, or the way, after a few minutes of me just laying here, his eyes seemed to just travel over me.

"Is it supposed to? You made me curious. Deal with it." I slowly sat back up, watching his expression. For a second he looked almost offended by that statement, no matter how true it was—or how true I was willing to make it be—but he quickly got over it and shifted so that his legs were now both on the bed, almost like he was kneeling, and his face was inches away from my own.

Then he stopped and said, "Is it okay if I kiss you again?"

"You didn't ask for permission last time." I pointed out, "And I didn't mind."

"Yeah but that's—" he started.

"--different?" I cut him off, "How is it different?"

"I-It was just a kiss…" his voice was softer now, embarrassment taking front seat once again, turning him into the shy boy I had become friends with before.

"So a kiss is immediately better than touching?" I asked, the thought, for better or worse, amused me, "or is the kind of touching not as innocent as you say it is…?"

"It's innocent!" the silver haired boy immediately yelped, "I-I said that didn't I?!"

I shook my head and smiled thoughtfully, "Well yes you said something like that. But now I don't believe you." I cocked my head slightly to the side and I could see the blush immediately rise on his face, "And I won't until you show me." I was unbelievably curious now. Apparently me, acting like I was now, had some sort of affect on him. I knew I was doing it on purpose, even though I could've easily just forced him to touch me, like I was planning—

Suddenly Genis shifted closer to me, leaning in and whispering softly in my ear, "Are you really sure though?" he questioned, "I don't…it's not like me."

"It's not like you to be so forward, yes," I pulled away a little, but still kept myself close enough to keep a steady blush on his cheeks, "so that's why I'm being forward. Touch me, please. You're making me curious."

I didn't know how his brain interpreted that, but it was even more amusing to watch the expressions on his face. They shifted from one, to another, to another, before finally he settled on one. He let out a tiny 'sigh' like noise, muttering something unintelligible before saying, "Then I guess I should—" he cut himself off by abruptly leaning forward and pressing his lips to mine again. And since we were both sitting on the bed, him next to me, me closer to the pillows and the wall, there was really no where for me to go but to fall backwards—or in this case sideways—onto said bed. My head hit the pillows softly, and this just seemed to intensify the kiss even more.

Once again I felt overpowered, weak; unable to fight back even though I knew I could. The kiss didn't go much farther before I felt his hands begin to move. First they brushed casually through my hair, then they gripped the sides of my head—deepening the kiss even more—before sliding down to my chest and arms, leaving feather light touches in their wake. Touches that shouldn't have affected me, but in some odd way affected me all too well.

Then, rather abruptly, Genis broke the kiss, muttering, "You should fight me if you don't want this." His eyes flashed with a sort of danger in them that I hadn't seen before, and needless to say it intrigued me.

Intrigued me enough to say, a little too naturally, "What if I do? What if I like it?"

He seemed shocked by these words, elated for a half-a-second, before doubt quickly clouded his eyes, "What? You…can't…it just…you do?"

I found myself smiling up at him, and nodding my head, "Yes I do." His face still remained doubtful and so I continued, "What? You want proof?" For whatever reason I said those words—whether they were to comfort him or just to play with his emotions—I leaned up and completed the aforementioned 'proof' by kissing him a little roughly on the lips. But not roughly enough to switch roles. I was comfortable, after all. I didn't really want to get up.

This kiss got an interesting reaction out of him anyway—it made him kiss back in a just as rough way. It sent shivers down my body that I tried to suppress only to find that it was a little too late.

And somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I wasn't playing with him anymore. Not playing with him just for the sake of getting an amusing reaction. But I let that thought stay buried there, far in the back, where I couldn't reach it unless I really wanted to. But I could still feel it, lingering there, taking up space that had been unoccupied before.

Then suddenly I felt Genis' hands back on my body, running again over my arms, chest, but then lowering haphazardly to my stomach and—

My breathing hitched when his fingers ran over my right side. My one weak point. He did it again, and I almost gasped again, but instead I managed to mutter out, "If you want to go farther then by all means continue. If not, then I suggest you stop touching me there. Now." Sadly my voice wasn't as deadly as I had wanted it to sound. My threat just simply sounded like that: a threat that would be backed up with force—but not strong force.

"But why?" Genis asked, running his fingertips over the same spot again, before trailing them lightly upward and finally stopping, lying his hand palm-down, flat against my chest. He didn't seem at all shy like he had been only moments before.

And for whatever reason that made it that much harder to talk, "B-Because, Genis—" that was all I could manage to grate out before my voice, rather embarrassingly, cracked.

This made Genis laugh, "I get it…you don't like being touched on your side because it's," he ran his fingers down my side again, "sen-si-tive." I bit my lip and he grinned, "Am I right?"

"M-Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"…Yes." I wasn't sure if I gave in just to give him more bait, or because I knew I couldn't win. Either way it wasn't going to get him to stop. It might actually make him continue which, as I had said, wouldn't be good if he didn't want to go that far. Not that I did either, I just didn't care.

Genis slowly closed his eyes, nodding his head in agreement before saying, "I see. Well I'll just have to keep that in mind then," he smiled down at me, "for later, maybe." Then he helped me sit up so that I was leaning against the headboard. Then he maneuvered around me, untangling his legs which had somehow intertwined with my own.

And for a while we just sat there. It was almost noon, or at least it looked that way from what I could see of the sky outside the window. But oddly that didn't matter to me. I had already wasted another half-day of my life that I wasn't supposed to be alive for. It was the same as any other. Well…except for what happened. Genis let out a soft purr, interrupting whatever thoughts I could've had about 'what happened'and making me focus on the now happening.

"You look content." I pointed out, brushing aside a few strands of his silver hair from his eyes. In all honesty I was telling the truth. He looked like he could curl up and go to sleep right there—just like a cat—if I left him alone long enough.

"Mm…maybe because I am?" Genis answered softly but with an almost tangible happiness mixed in, "What about you?"

I wanted to shrug and just not respond. It would be safer that way and I knew it. But he could get the wrong idea. That I didn't—wait. Did I enjoy any of 'what happened'? Or…? I quickly cut that sentence off and instead pretended like I too was tired. I shifted a little closer to Genis, resting my head on his shoulder before murmuring a quiet, "Mm…"

"You're sleepy?" Genis asked with a soft laugh, "But you've been up for almost as long as I have! You shouldn't be sleepy!"

"I almost fell asleep in the shower, remember?" I reminded him, my body unintentionally shifting closer to him, "And I'm still sleepy. Wake me when lunch is ready."

"But I can't make lunch if I can't get up." He chastised gently, making me look up at him.

"And why can't you get up? I'm not stopping you." I pointed out, my body moving even closer to him in all the more ways to prove that I was indeed a hypocrite.

"I'm your official pillow at the moment," He stated, sounding a little too proud of that fact, "and I think I like it so, no, I don't wanna get up. Even if you aren't stopping me, which, by the way, you are. Hypocrite."

"Thanks for pointing that out." I muttered, and even though I wanted to pull away, just to prove his true point false, my body just moved closer, until I was practically half on him. But he still didn't seem to mind. He even started running a hand through my hair, as if he was trying to sooth me into falling asleep.

"Go to sleep if you're tired." He hummed, "I can make lunch whenever you wake up. Besides," for some reason even lifting my head now was a chore, "they say sleepiness is contagious, like a yawn, and I'm getting pretty sleepy myself." He let out a yawn and continued working his fingers through my still-damp hair, ridding it of any unseen tangles or knots that had accumulated over the night.

In a way that I didn't quite understand, this touch seemed too endearing—much more than any other touch he had given me since this living arrangement started. It was gentle, soft, and now with the added bonus of loving. It was something so incredibly simple too. He could have just as easily grabbed a brush to do the same thing, it would've been easier. But he didn't, and now I felt my eyes drooping shut, and I could hear his heartbeat, coaxing me gently into that kind of comfortable sleep that one has not for the sake of sleeping and getting rest, but for the sake of having the comfort of sleeping in for a few extra hours in the morning.

And for the first time in a while I felt warm. It hurt at the same time as it felt rejuvenating. It worked in my heart, gradually melting it into acceptance of this situation. This situation, these feelings that ran Genis' motivation to live. I couldn't really understand now why I had decided to play with them so much. If things had turned out any differently I could've hurt him—and that, in turn, hurt me.

Slowly I felt Genis' breathing slow, until it was a steady rhythm, unconsciously matching my own as he fell deeper and deeper into that comforting sleep that I was just on the brink of. We were sharing an intimate moment—but not in the sense that was in almost every adult romance novel. It was sweet and innocent, not at all complicated, and unbelievably warm.

Maybe staying alive, if not just for this feeling, wasn't such a bad idea after all.

--

And something tells me this is calling for a sequel…whenever the heck I get around to writing one. But right now I'm on Summer Vacation, so anything can happen.please review! The review button is your friend—use it to make another feel happy. Trust me, it works.

-Until Whenever

-Harmony283