Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, or any of its characters. –sigh-

Dear Rosalie, You acknowledged my previous letter, but based on what happened yesterday, I felt I ought to write you another.

1. You may not hypnotize Bella so that she will breakup with Edward.

2. You may not replace Bella's toothpaste with a tube of superglue……..again.

3. You may not write love letters to Esme and sign them: "Love, Jasper".

4. You may not write love letters to Carlisle and sign them: "Love, Jasper".

5. You will not tell Mike Newton that Emmett is in love with him.

6. Or that Edward and Bella broke up.

7. You will not steal Edward's CD collection

8. And then use them to blackmail him………again.

9. You shall not pawn off Esme's best silver.

10. You shall not pawn off Carlisle's computer……….again.

11. You may not give Bella excessive amounts of sugar

12. And then videotape her on sugar-rush.

13. And then blackmail her with it.

14. You will not replace Bella's shampoo with blue dye………again.

15. You will not call Chief Swan and tell him that Bella is getting a tattoo.

……it's likely to give him an aneurysm.

16. You may not refer to Esme's flower garden as "The Cemetery"

17. You may not refer to Alice as "The Short One"

18. You may not refer to Edward as "The Irrational One"

19. You may not threaten to burn Bella to death with your hairdryers.

20. You may not loan Alice your hairdryer after you have filled it with baby-powder

21. And then take pictures to put on your MySpace.

22. You will not scare Jasper and Emmett into thinking that the evil penguins are real

23. And that Alice is their leader.

24. And that the evil penguins are coming to get them.

25. Also, you may not laugh like a maniac while you tell them this. MMMWWWHAHAHAHAHAHA

Rosalie, please understand that I write this in your best interest.

-Your rational brother, Edward

Was it any good? PPPPLLLLLEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSEEEEE review! please? please? please? will you?

YAY ! ! ! ! ! thank you to everyone who has reviewed, and who will review! ;D