Wedding Presents

The party started to wind down. Distant relatives were the first to go. Elderly aunts who needed to get home and take their pills, cousins who had tried to distance themselves from the family, and other assorted guests who just didn't feel like sticking around all made a mass exodus once the first brave soul got up to get their coat.

That was just fine with the newlyweds. House was practically pushing people out the door. "Thanks for coming. Hope you left a nice gift"

The band had left hours ago, and the few brave souls who remained had had congregated into small groups at the tables for assorted chit chat over coffee. Lo, Wilson and Damien had confiscated the House's and were protecting them from facing any more well wishers.

"When do we get to open our presents?" House was ready to end the night, but one of his more defining traits was his curiosity, and he was curious to see just what his friends and family thought of him.

"If you want to open them, House, go ahead." Cuddy didn't care. She had designed her home exactly as she'd wanted it, and no sterling silver butter dish was going to make her change her mind.

House made a bee line to the biggest box, sitting beside the present table. He already knew the small basket was filled with cards with money from people who couldn't be bothered to think of a gift. It would be easy to determine his worth to them. It was clearly written in dollar signs. The varying sized packages all wrapped in pretty pastels were what really interested him.

"Oh, this one is from my parents." House had moved on from the big box, which ended up housing a non-committal high end blender. House held the much smaller, more elegantly wrapped package from his parents up to his ear.

"Why are you opening that now?" John and Blythe hadn't left yet. They were catching up with some distant cousin of Blythe's.

"Because Cuddy said I could." House grinned sheepishly as he tore open the opalescent wrapping.

John furrowed his stern brow. "You're married now, son, call her by her first name."

"That'd be weird." House wrinkled his nose as he pulled out a handmade photo album. "What the hell is this?" he turned it over in his hands.

Blythe had come over to see what was going on. "It's a photo album…"

"I can see it's a photo album, but that's a rather cheap gift. I'm your only child. I thought you'd splurge a bit more than this."

Blythe ignored her son's rudeness. She was used to it. "It's really for Lisa, I suppose." Blythe took the book from her son and handed it to her daughter-in-law. "It's pictures of Gregory's life."

"Oh, Mom," House groaned.

"Don't you oh Mom me Gregory. This is priceless. You can pass it down to your children…"

"Stop right there!" House didn't want her having any allusions.

"What did I say?" Blythe didn't quite pull off innocent.

"Don't go getting your hopes up about grandchildren. I explained to you, more then once, that I am not reproducing. Ever!" House had his back to Cuddy, so he didn't see the funny little twinkle in her eye, but his mother did, and she smiled. "Stop smiling you senile old woman."

"Don't talk to your mother like that," John snapped.

"Oh John," Blythe put a hand on his arm. "He's just teasing me." She smiled at her son. "I would love to have grandchildren, but I will still love you, even if you don't give them to me."

House rolled his eyes and went back to present unwrapping while Cuddy started flipping through the photo album. Blythe hurried over to her to give a running commentary, even though she'd written a short essay about each picture for future reference.

"Oh, look how cute he is in his little school uniform." Cuddy gushed over pictures of a tiny little Gregory House.

"Yes." Blythe smiled warmly, fighting back a tear. "He was in Catholic school for three years until he got kicked out."

"Why did he get kicked out?" Cuddy looked over at House who was still tearing through presents, though she knew he was listening to them.

Blythe looked over at her son. It was hard to believe she once held him in her arms and changed his little diapers. It was hard to imagine House was ever a child, but she knew. She had been there, and she had proof. He wasn't always the jerk he pretended to be now. "He made a rude gesture to little Mary Emery during the annual Nativity Play. I don't think he even knew what it meant but…"

"Oh, I knew what it meant." House injected.

"You were only eight Gregory, how could you possibly…"

"Dad's old magazines; the ones he kept hidden in the rafters in the garage…"

"I did no such thing!" And how dare Greg go snooping around where he didn't belong.

"Oh, Gregory," his mother sounded so disappointed. All these years she'd told herself her son had made an innocent mistake, even though she always knew better. Would it have been so hard for him to let her keep her delusions?

"Oh please!" House wasn't about to get a morality lesson from a woman who used to send him to his room early the night his father came home from service. Like he didn't know what they were doing while he was locked up in his room.

Cuddy quickly turned the page, hoping to avoid a family fight. "Who's this?" A pretty young girl in pigtails and MaryJanes was standing next to House, her arm around his shoulders.

"That's Stephanie Price. You remember Stephanie?" She looked at House who just grunted a reply. "She was Gregory's first date." Blythe actually blushed a little. "He was ten years old and thoroughly convinced he was ready to date…"

"I hope he didn't give Stephanie the same gesture he gave Mary," Cuddy snided. House glared at her and Blythe just ignored her.

"…but just a few seconds after this picture was taken he pretended he was too sick to go out.

"I WAS too sick to go out." House corrected.

"Whatever you say dear." Blythe leaned in toward Cuddy. "He was fine. Went out and played ball later that afternoon."

Cuddy laughed sweetly.

"Don't listen to the old lady. She's senile." House tossed another, less pricy blender on the pile of open gifts.

"Oh," Blythe moved on, ignoring her son. "This is his first car. It was a '65 Mustang." She thought back fondly on the joy on her son's face when he first saw it. "He built it up…"

"I built it up," John corrected her. "HE was too busy goofing off."

"I wasn't goofing off," House snotted. "I was studying."

"Well, you weren't rebuilding your car, which is what you were supposed to be doing, so you were goofing off."

Blythe could see where this was headed and quickly closed the book. "You can look at these later. It's getting late. I think John and I should head out."

John, thankfully took the hint and followed his wife out. "Make sure he treats you right," he said to Cuddy as they shared a hug.

"He will," she assured him.

House was done with the presents. "Nothing much worth keeping." He shrugged and sat down next to his wife.

"Oh, I'll be keeping this." Cuddy was still holding the photo album.

"I can't believe she gave you that." House pulled it out of her hands and started flipping through it. He hadn't realized his mother had such an extensive collection of his life. She had even put the washed out ticket stubs from his first Stones concert. He must have left them in the pocket of his jeans when she washed them. House snorted reminiscently.

"I'm glad she gave it to me." Cuddy took it back. She was a little worried House might destroy it.

"Well, I guess that's it." House had pocketed all the checks and cash, and put aside anything he thought worth keeping. It was a very small pile.

"Not quite." Damien had been sitting quietly behind Cuddy, peeking at photo album over her shoulder and far more subtly than Lo had been doing.

House looked at him expectantly.

"I haven't given you my gift yet."

"You're paying me to give her to you?" House asked hopefully.

"Would you?" Damien might just do it, if he thought it would work.

"Nope." House put an arm around his bride. It had taken him far too long to capture her. He wasn't about to hand her over to someone else.

"Didn't think so, or I would have offered." Instead, Damien slipped an envelope into House's hands. "Hope you like it."

House tore it open and read the folded itinerary. "I've never even heard of this place. Is this some kind of joke?"

"No joke. It's a private island my family owns. I've made all the arrangements. All you have to do is show up."

House looked at Cuddy. "Our own tropical island?" She nodded. "For how long?" Forever wouldn't be a bad option.

"Two weeks." Cuddy wrestled with how long they should go. She would love to stay forever, but her hospital…

House looked at Damien.

"You can have the island for as long as you like." Damien seemed to have switched teams.

"Damien!" Cuddy's head spun to face him.

"What? I'm a romantic at heart." He smiled charmingly.

House was grinning slyly. "And when can we leave?"

Cuddy opened her mouth to set a date but Damien beat her to it. "The plane is ready to take off on your command."

"Awesome." House grinned. There was no need to pack.

Thus, finally, ends the third installment of the trilogy, but gives birth to the unexpected fourth installment, the smut filled Honeymoon to Remember.