Raven stretched and reached up to wipe sleep from her eyes. Blearily she glanced over at the clock on her bedside table. It read six am. With a sigh she fell back against the pillows of her bed. It had been a very late night, or a very early morning depending on how you looked at things. The Titans had all been up into the wee small hours of the morning. The boys all taking turns playing video games, music playing in the background, and food galore. Though a few of the items deemed edible by Starfire had been highly questionable.

They had all tumbled into their respective beds just a few hours earlier, but Raven's internal alarm clock woke her. Fully awake, she lay staring at the dark ceiling of her room at Titans West. She had been so tired that she had not taken in any of the familiar surroundings. Now Raven lay in what should be so familiar to her and she frowned. Prior to her stay at Titans East, she had been perfectly content with her dark room. It had fit her. Dark, closed in, secretive.

But now she found herself missing the blue of her other room, the large plush bed, and bright morning sun glinting off the water. It seems that time had changed her in ways she had not even realized. She was actually missing the light. Raven rolled off her bed and headed to the shower, thinking of the room she had left behind and making mental note of a few changes she wanted done in the one she was currently occupying.

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Raven walked into the kitchen a short time later and was not surprised to see she was not the only Titan up. What did surprise her was the pot of water just beginning to gently whistle and the mug awaiting her on the counter next to an unopened tea bag. Six months ago, this had not been unusual, but she had been gone a long time. Robin sat at the table sipping on his coffee as he read through the paper. He did not even raise his eyes to acknowledge her, but this had been their routine for years.

Raven poured hot water over the tea bag and walked slowly to the table, her hot mug cradled in her hands. Outside there was no snow, it was California after all, but there was a distinct chill in the air and Raven was grateful for the warmth let off by the mug.

She sat, and without her asking, Robin passed her a section of paper that he had finished. Without looking up he spoke, "There's a good picture of you after taking down Plasmus on the front page. Seems your arrival home is not just being celebrated by us."

With a raised brow Raven looked down at the paper. There on the front page was a picture of her as Cyborg swept her up in a homecoming hug. His face was glowing with happiness and pride as he swung her up and off the ground and off her feet. She was holding tight to his neck and the camera had managed to catch one of her rare grins. This was not a small lifting of the lips that was often times considered a Raven smile. No this was something different entirely. He eyes were lit up, her mouth was wide. In fact you could even see her teeth peaking through the slight parting of her lips.

Surrounding them were the other Titans. The East boys were swarming Bee, all giving her a big group hug. Star was flying towards Raven and Cy, ready to join the hug fest. BB Stood to the side watching Raven with a huge grin on his face. He was obviously waiting for his turn. And Robin stood to the other side. His arms were crossed in a relaxed pose and he was looking at the hugging pair with what looked like….. She couldn't name it. She wanted to say it was longing, but that was merely her feelings. A part of him looked content and happy. That was probably it. The family was back together and that was all he needed.

Raven looked to the caption, "Teen Titans Heroine returns home after a brief change of venue to Steel City, Home of the Titans East." She looked at the article, "Has our Raven returned to the nest or will she fly the coop again?"

She scanned the article and gave a small shrug. "It is a good picture."

Robin put down the paper and smiled at her. It was the first time she had allowed herself to really look at him since her arrival home. There had been so much going on that she had been able to push Robin and her feelings into the recesses of her mind. The hug he had given her had made her pulse jump and her heart had started to pound. During her time away she had been able to push Robin away. The thought of him was easily locked up behind a door, as easily as her personality traits. The old saying, out of sight, out of mind had worked. At least she thought it had. As she looked at him now she realized that she had been very wrong.

The time away had merely intensified the attraction. She had been able to fool herself for months, but the harsh reality was that she was in love with Robin. Before she had been able to tell herself it was nothing, a 'crush.' But Cyborg had known, he had seen what she could not. She was in love with Robin. It had been gradual, not all at once. It was in the way they talked, the way they didn't. the way they could read each other with just a glance. She was so comfortable with him that words were not needed. And of course there was physical attraction as well.

Robin was a good looking guy. Over the years his short stature had elongated. He now stood eye to eye with Starfire. He had always been muscled, but it was a lean muscle, like that of a swimmer. His face had filled out and his hair was now slightly too long for the infamous spikes. He had started to pull it back in a pony. This was not normally a look Raven would go for, but on Robin it looked right.

As she looked at him now, she found herself fighting off a blush. Robin had long ago forgone wearing his mask and uniform while in the tower. He sat before him in a muscle tee with hugged tight to his chest, in his classic Robin red. Loose pajama pants in black plaid hung low on his hips. His hair was pulled back, allowing Raven full view of his piercing blue eyes, which looked at her with mirth hidden in the depths. Raven quickly looked down, fighting back raising emotions. She took another sip of tea as his chuckle set her hearth racing again. She forced herself to take a few deep breaths to pull herself together.

"No, I'd have to say it's a historical picture. No one has ever been able to catch you smiling like that."

Raven, now once again in control, looked up. "Hardly. I smile all the time." she said in complete deadpan.

Robin snorted, "Oh yeah, all the time. They named you Chuckles for that very reason."

Raven gave him a haughty look and sniffed, "I do believe there is a distinct undertone of sarcasm in your voice."

Robin raised his mug in mock salute, "I learned from the queen."

A delicate brow again arched, "And don't you forget it."

Robin smiled and again looked down at the paper. He was quiet for a moment but soon looked up again, "I've missed this." It was a simple statement, but very powerful. Those few words caused Raven to make full eye contact with him.

It was then that Raven knew, no matter what her feelings, she would never leave him again. She would find a way to control her feelings. She always had. A calm she had not felt since returning to the tower settled upon her. She gave a quiet smile. "Me too."

Those were the words Robin needed to hear. She could see it in the way he relaxed his body into the chair. He gave a soft laugh and gestured towards the kitchen. "You know it took me weeks to stop putting the water on for you."

Raven glanced at her cup, "I was surprised to find you had today."

He shrugged, "What can I say? My sanity has been at stake here. I needed you here and I wasn't about to let your homecoming become a disappointment."

Raven startled at his words. "You needed me?" She had not meant to let the words escape. They had slipped out in her shock at his words.

He laughed again, "Of course. You try living with BB, Bee, Star, and Cy. No one knows how to just…..sit. Its been an insane asylum. Had you been gone much longer you would have found me wrapped up tight rocking in a corner completely out of my mind."

Raven laughed lightly to cover her disappointment. Of course that was what he needed her for. He had needed some peace. He had needed a friend. It had been foolish of her to think otherwise. She sighed lightly under her breath and spoke so quietly she wasn't sure he could even hear her words. "That's what friends are for."

Before he could respond, Raven raised her voice loudly. "Morning. There should be plenty of coffee."

Robin, startled, looked up to see the door to the common room open. There stood Auqualad. The young man chuckled. "Thanks Rae." He walked over to the kitchen to prepare a cup, and walked over to the table. He placed a hand upon her shoulder, leaning down to see the paper in front of her. He gave her shoulder a friendly squeeze. "Nice picture Rae."

Raven rolled her eyes at him, "I guess this means the boys will be up soon too. I better get a session out of the way today before they invade." Raven stood, walking to the door, not bothering to look at the boys left at the table. Aqualad slipped into her spot and began to read the article. Neither seemed to notice the change in Robin. He had stiffened and frowned slightly at the invasion and he had clutched his coffee tightly as Aqualad touched Raven. Now he stared as the girl slowly left the room, confusion etched in his eyes.

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Soon the day had begun in earnest. Just as Raven had predicted, the tower soon began to stir and come to life. Despite the lack of sleep, the heroes were used to little sleep and early wake up calls. Cy and Bee were up not long after Aqualad and Star came floating in close behind. Speedy wandered in, sporting low slung jeans and a wet towel draped over his shoulders with little else on. The last to arrive were Mas y Menos and Beastboy.

People soon began to wander in and out of the common room. The sizzle of bacon and the clink of plates soon filled the room with noise. Stories were picked up where they left off and the paper was passed around. Coffee flowed freely and the morning was soon abuzz with activity and life.

Raven returned feeling rejuvenated after her morning meditation session. By this time most of the party were dressed and were finishing their morning meal. Speedy, one of the later ones to arrive, still stood with no shirt, bare feet, and a slightly damp head from his shower. Raven rolled her eyes. "Put it away Casanova, no one here wants to see it."

Speedy waggled his eyebrows at her, "Oh I wouldn't say that. It got your attention didn't it? Mission complete."

This earned a glare from more than one of the Titans West boys. Cy gave a warning growl, "Watch it with my sister, Carrotop."

Speedy put his hands up in mock surrender, "Whooh, down boy. I was merely pointing out to my esteemed colleague here that despite her protests, she was looking and if she really didn't care that she would not have brought it to anyone's attention."

Raven crossed her arms, "I do not believe I said it as a compliment. I may noticed your lack of attire, however, I did not compliment it."

Speedy grinned at her, "Princess, with you, any attention is good attention as far as I'm concerned."

There was a collective groan at the line and Raven rolled her eyes again. Speedy chuckled," What can I say? I'm a glutton for punishment. Especially coming from the Dark Princess." He said with a suggestive tone to his voice.

With that, Cy took a menacing step towards the slightly smaller man. Speedy, laughing, backed up. "OK, OK, sorry. But I couldn't help it." Before anyone could say anything else, black energy encased the towel adorning Speedy's neck. It rose into the air and then, SNAP! Speedy yelped in pain at the towel cracked his soundly on the butt.

Raven gave a sweet, innocent smile. "What was that?"

Speedy rubbed his wound, "Ouch Rae, that hurt." He tried to give her wounded puppy dog eyes, but they held only laughter despite the pitiful face. Raven smiled again in that sweet way of hers and again snapped him with the towel.

Speedy jumped back to avoid another snap and then another. Soon he was being chased out of the room while the other titans, most of them anyway, were falling onto each other in laughter. Speedy yelled out, "OK, I give I'll go put a damn shirt on."

Raven smiled and nodded in satisfaction. She failed to notice the eyes watching her however. Cy watched with knowing eyes and a small smile while Robin watched with resignation and defeat.

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Later that day the titans had all dispersed into smaller groups. Bee and Starfire had gone shopping for last minute Christmas gifts. Everyone was to meet up at the mall later for a movie and some pizza.

Beastboy and Mas y Menos were battling it out on the gaming system while Aqualad watched, laughing at their antics.

Speedy was off on a motorcycle ride to who knows where. Probably involving a girl he had made eye contact with yesterday.

Robin was training on the newest course, blowing off some energy and irritation, though Raven could not fathom what he was so irritated about. She had tried to talk to him about it but he had merely shrugged, refusing to answer. This of course had put her into a foul mood and she had gone her own way.

Cyborg knew his little sister well. He had given her a little time to vent her frustration and then he went in search of her. He found Raven curled up on her chair in the garage. She was staring at a book but wasn't really seeing the words at all.

He spoke softly, trying not to startle her. "Hey Sunshine."

Her body jerked so slightly that had he not known to look for it he would not have noticed the movement. This made him smile. He usually didn't catch her by surprise. That just showed how much her thoughts were wrapped up.

In a monotone voice she answered just as quietly, "Hey."

Cyborg walked forward to the stool next to the tool bench. "So you have two options. You can stay mute and I can bother you nonstop til you spill your guts, or you can just tell me what's wrong." He leaned back with arms crossed waiting for the young girl to answer.

Raven didn't move. She sat completely still and silent. It was something only Raven could do. There could be hurricane winds and Raven would be as still and as calm as the eye of the storm. Maybe that was because her body was the eye of the storm,. Her powers, her emotions, her parentage, all carried with it chaos. Maybe that was how she managed to keep herself so still, because if she didn't she would be carried away in all the chaos that was her.

Most never saw the chaos, but the Titans West had. They had seen what was bubbling just below the surface and they had done what they could to help her keep the control she needed. At first the stillness had been creepy. No one could do that. It was a bit scary, and yet as time went on it became just another part of Raven. It was something that made her special, that held her apart from others and Cyborg had come to adore this quality. Trust be told, he envied it. Even in the most dire situations she could maintain serenity. And yet, when she was like this it usually meant that emotions where raging within her. She was fighting a battle inside and you never had any indication which side was winning. All he could do was wait it out.

This time it was a brief battle. She sighed and placed the book on her lap. Raven leaned back her head and closed her eyes, sinking into the plushness of her chair. Her eyes opened from her relaxed position and made contact with Cyborg. "It's different."

Cy waited for her to continue, but she didn't. He prodded her a bit. "What's different?"

He could see her mind race as it tried to put into words what was going on, "Being back home. I knew it would be. At least a little bit. You can't leave home for that long and not expect some changes. But they are supposed to be minor. You expect that so little has changed you can just melt back into the fold, but you forget. Its not the place that changes, its you."

Raven fell silent again. Cy leaned back, giving her space to collect her thoughts. After a moment she started again, "Before I left, he would have never walked away from me. I would ask him what was wrong and sometimes he would be evasive, but he would never just walk away. Today that's exactly what he did."

Raven looked up at the man she considered family. For once there was real questioning in her eyes. They were wide and sad and Cyborg wanted nothing more than to crush her into a hug. And yet, if he did that he wasn't sure she would continue. No one had ever seen Raven cry, and he was damned if he was gonna be the one that pushed her over that edge.

Softly, Raven pled with him for an answer, "Have I really changed so much that I no longer belong?"

That was it. Cy was off the stool and in front of her. He sat on his knees, her hands held in his. "No Rae, no. You will always belong."

"Then why did he walk away?"

Cy gave a humorless laugh and shook his head, "Because he is an idiot and doesn't know how to handle the change in himself."

This answer seemed to bring Raven out of her mood. She gave into the curiosity, "What changes? I mean he's a bit moodier than normal, but I haven't noticed any changes."

Cy sat back so he was sitting on the floor, but he still held onto one of her hands. It wasn't the most comfortable position but her wasn't ready to break the physical connection. Not yet. "For an empath, you are so clueless."

Raven playfully pushed Cy to the ground and freed her hand allowing her to cross her arms, "Not this old topic."

Cyborg laughed as he picked himself off the ground. He dusted himself off and went to the tool bench, looking through the items there. "I'm not the only one to notice. When you left, Rob had a major stick up his arse." Finding the correct tool, Cyborg walked over to one of every day cars. They had acquired a handful of vehicles that were less noticeable when they wanted to go out on the town without being the Titans. He popped the hood and began to tinker. "Had us up at all hours training. He would leave the common room in the morning as soon as any of us came in. He started to get downright anti-social for awhile there. Hey, grab me that wrench will you?"

Raven got up and did as he asked. Cy continued, "He would have your tea ready to go for weeks and just scowl at it for hours after breakfast was over. I mean he is still Robin, just a really moody one. He still played video games and cracked jokes, but it was like he was irritated all the time. Kinda like earlier, though more extreme. After he would talk to you though, things would get better for a little bit."

Cy glanced up and Raven raised a brow, inviting him to continue. He shrugged and leaned back over the car, "He's realizing that he doesn't work the same without you, that he misses you when you are gone. He's realizing he has feelings for you and rather than confront change, he wants everything to go back to the way it was, but he cant."

Raven smiled a bit, "I already knew about the missing me. He told me as much today at breakfast. He said you were all driving him to the loony bin and he was glad to have his one quiet friend back."

It was Cy's turn to roll his eyes, "Yeah his 'friend', Rae."

She obviously had decided to ignore that. She was much more relaxed as she now understood why he was being so irritable. "So why did he just walk away Mr. Know-it-all?"

"Seriously?" Cyborg was beginning to find great amusement over this conversation. "They were touching you."

Raven went back to being confused. He could see it in her face. As an empath you would think she could understand the emotions, but over the years Cyborg had come to understand something else. Raven had been taught that emotions were bad and she had locked them away. It meant that though the empath was extremely intelligent, she was ignorant in other ways. She could identify emotions, most of the time. But when it came to the reasons why an emotion came out, Raven was clueless.

"They always touch me. It's rather annoying at times."

Cy shrugged, "Yes, but we don't touch you." Raven opened her mouth to respond that of course they touched her but she quickly closed it. "It's not a big deal Rae. We have a different relationship with you. We've known you through different circumstances."

Cy stood and began to wipe greasy hands on a blue rag. He turned and looked at her and smiled. "We knew you when going to a club was a dangerous activity for you rather than an annoying one. We learned that when you said stop or that you couldn't do something, it was not because you didn't want to do it, more like you couldn't do it without causing harm to yourself or others. We accepted that. Heck Rae, we watched you destroy the world. If you said no, we damn well listened.

"But these guys, they don't know that side of you. And you have grown a lot. You have more control than you used to. When you say no, they take it as a challenge and that's a good thing. We forget to push you past your comfort zone because we are so used to just letting it be. They treat you as a friend and they like to push your buttons because they have never seen the wrong button pushed. They have brought you so far out of your shell its amazing. You are smiling more, you are allowing physical contact. You are starting to be comfortable with emotions and I think someone else needed to bring that out of you. They aren't scared that they will lose you if they push too hard."

Cy reached down and put his hands on her shoulders, "I thank them for this. I wont lie, its hard to see how close you are to them, but that's because I feel like I should have known to push you more and I feel like I let you down. But I know that I can now push you further and I can be even closer to you. That's the thing with Rob. Its always been us, no one else has even come close to breaking those walls and now it feels like you are closer to them than you are with any of us. You and he had your routines and silent communication and now he has to re-evaluate whether that is still there. It is, he just needs to work it out."

Cyborg pulled her into a tight hug and she automatically squeezed him back. When he pulled back he grinned down at her. He was ready to change the mood. Enough of this heavy talk. "Besides, he saw how Speedy was looking at you. That really pissed him off."

Raven laughed, "Please, Speedy just likes to irritate me. Its his favorite pastime."

"You know what that means to guys right Rae?"

"Do enlighten me."

"He likes you. Not that I can blame him. My lil sis is pretty amazing. A pain in the ass, but amazing nonetheless. As an empath I know you didn't miss the heated looks he was sending your way."

Raven shrugged, "No. And I'll admit there is attraction. He's a good looking guy."

Those words stopped Cy cold. He frowned slightly. "And is this attraction….mutual?"

Raven took a small breath and looked right at her friend, "I think so. Its not the same as the full blown butterflies I get when I see Robin, but he and I seem to…. Click I guess."

Cy was quiet for a moment. This was something he had not expected. Sure he had noticed Speedy's attraction to Rae, but he had not noticed the attraction from her side. Then again he had only seen the two in group settings and it had only been a day. As he thought back he had noticed Speedy in her vicinity and they had been playful with each other. Cy rubbed at tense neck muscles. "Wow, I wasn't expecting that. I mean when you left you were convinced that you would never be able to be in a relationship. Is that something that has changed as well?"

Raven was careful as she chose her words. "I'm not sure. But he has pushed me further than I thought possible. Physical contact, intense emotions, new situations, all of these things he throws at me and yet I maintain the control I need."

Cy frowned. The little playboy was not someone he would have ever picked for Rae. Sure he liked Speedy, but he wasn't really the settle down type and that was what Rae deserved. Raven sensed this and spoke again. "You know, when I met him, all I thought was that he was such a little playboy. Always needing attention and praise. But as I got to know him, he's really rather sweet. Not that he would ever admit that to anyone. He helps the twins with learning new games. He and Aqualad have debates all the time and he really listens. He seems to sense when I can handle being pushed even before I can and yet he knows when he needs to back off quickly. He reads me well and he brings out parts of myself I never noticed."

Cy's frown faded. "What about your thing for Robin?" At her look he allowed a smile, "Just humor me. Call it a hypothetical world."

She shrugged, "What about him? As I said, he's got Star.I was never a choice in the equation. I think Robin will always hold a part of me, but I knew that long ago. We have a connection that no one else has and that is something I cannot hide or get rid of. I was always OK with that because I never saw us as a possibility. Then again, I never saw any relationship as a possibility. Now, I have a chance to be a part of something I only dreamed of. Its not the same as my feelings for Robin, but no two loves are the same. I'm not saying that we will or will not date, but it is a possibility."

Cyborg whistled, "God, I let you leave for a few months and you come back all grown up." Raven punched his arm. He chuckled, "Sorry Rae. I guess you really have made some changes."

She nodded and Cy gave a small smile, "OK. I still think you should talk to Robin, but I am glad you have at least opened yourself up to the idea of love. If you think that Carrotop may be the one, I'm willing to give him a chance."

"How magnanimous of you." He laughed and slung an arm over her shoulders as they headed for the stairs. It was time to get ready for the movies.

"I know. I try."

"Glad to know you trust my judgment when it comes to my own love life."

"Oh, I don't. But I'll extend this courtesy. That's what big brothers are for."

"Oh thank you." Her voice dripped sarcasm.

"No prob, Rae. I'll trust that you know him better than I do." Cy's voice went cold, "But if he hurts you, I hurt him back."

Raven glanced at his cold eyes. She nodded, "Understood, however I draw the line at murder."

Cyborg laughed, but there was something in his voice as he answered, "Of course, Rae."

They were halfway up the stairs when he added, "It's not murder if you cant find the body."

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Ok, so sorry this took so long. In my defense, I am working two jobs and taking some classes so I have limited free time. Also, Raven is a pain to write some times. She flat out refuses to work with me when it comes to this emotional stuff. I have the ending all wrapped up, it's the stuff in between that needs tweaking.

For those of you wanting this to end up Speedy/Rae, *sigh* a part of me wants that too, but alas it is not meant to be…. This time. I have a Speedy/Rae fic in the works but I need to finish this one or I never will. Thank you for all the reviews and encouragement. Those messages keep reminding me to get off my arse and get writing! I plan on finishing soon, though there are at least two more chappies left.