Full summary: Sasuke never had a problem with girls and how to get one, all he need is looks, charisma and cheesy lines. But when his best friend came back from Hokkaido… wait, his friend is a she? Sasuke met his own problem with her. SasuSaku
Note from the Author: The fic will contain adult stuff like sex, words and how I describe the characters, its rated M, duh. Characters might be a little OOC and forgive me if I make Sasuke a jerk. It's part of the story :D lol. Enjoy!
Boys are like Trees they Take 50 Years to Grow Up
Chapter one
"Sasuke-kuun" a blond girl clung into Sasuke's arm like a monkey. "Let's go karaoke."
"Sure, babe, anything just for you," Sasuke smiled, with bright flash that made the girl red and giggled.
That's Uchiha, Sasuke. High school freshmen. Girls describe him as, hot, sexy, gorgeous and perfect. Well, Sasuke is perfect, in front of them. But in reality, he is a big jerk, liar and womanizer. He thinks of girls like some kind of toy that you toss away when you finished or got bored with it. For Sasuke, he doesn't need anything, all he need is girls. Because he got a bunch of cheesy lines, great charisma, perfect looks and his all time favorite the mysterious looks.
Let's take a look how he scores, shall we?
First step: The perfect looks.
Wear anything that looks dark. Sasuke likes to wear a black turtle neck shirt, then hangs out in coffee café, start with black coffee and always bring a thick romance novel. It doesn't matter, it depends on the location.
Always start like a gentle man. Go find a sit where it's obviously where the girls who just entered gonna take. Be bold, be sexy and be hot and say the line:
"Oh, I'm sorry, but a pretty girls like you surely deserve this seat," and smile, like taking a pictorial and let them take the sit and fix the chair for them. Smile and leave but don't forget to take a sit not too far away from them.
Take a seat, brush your hair and look at them. They will surely blush.
Second step: The mysterious looks.
Start reading the book, three to five pages before the end. Don't take your eyes off the book your reading. Sasuke stares blankly at the word, after some bunch of minutes, turn it so you don't look stupid reading the same page for a long while. Don't look anywhere not even when you're going to sip your coffee.
After reading, cry. So they'll think you're a sensitive hot guy. Then look for your handkerchief and say the second line:
"Oh yeah, she forgot to return my handkerchief when she ran off to his new boyfriend."
Cover your face and act your crying. They'll surely go to your table with their pink handkerchief and comfort you.
Third step: The great charisma.
Don't accept the handkerchief; take it if they say the word 'I insist.' And say thanks. After crying smile again and look at them. Tell them your story or made up story.
"She broke up with me with another guy. I don't know what has gotten wrong, I gave her everything, and I loved her so much. But despite what she did to me, I never got mad at her."
It doesn't sound gay, you sound so cool, and every girl wants a guy to cry for them.
"This is awkward; I never talk or met any other girl than her."
Now you sound so loyal, isn't that cool?
Final Step: The cheesy line.
After being comforted, look at them seriously in the eye and say something innocently like this,
"Is it me or you're my angel of salvation?"
But before that, be sure you sexy voice is mastered. Girls don't like groggy voices.
After that, you have yourself a number of a cute or beautiful girl.
That's Uchiha Sasuke style, he even can write a book and title it Womanizer's tips 101, maybe he'll be filthy rich if it got published.
Every girl like this guy, who doesn't? He's one of a kind, like his trained, expert, master, and the lord. When he was in Jr. High School he already dates senior girls. He even puts up a fight to win the girl's heart. But there are two things he never experience. (1) Courting, well, duh, girls are lining up just to date the lord; they almost die when they got their first kiss from him. What he wants is what he gets. There are plenty of times girls break up with their boyfriend just to be with him. And (2) he never got dumped. He dumps them and breaks their heart. That's that.
But today is the start of his doom…
"I'm home!" Sasuke exclaimed and he heard someone said welcome home in the busy kitchen. He kicks his shoes and cocks his head on the open door at the kitchen. "What's for dinner? Surely smells good."
"Fish." His older brother answered shortly and puts soy sauce on the pan.
"Itachi? I thought it's Ki's turn to cook dinner?" Sasuke opened the fridge and poke his head inside. The three of them lives in a small two story house, their parents work abroad. Itachi, the eldest son works as a professional photographer, and Ayuki or Ki, is a college student. Sasuke is the youngest child; he's a spoiled brat, period. "Where is she anyway?"
"Went out with her boyfriend," Itachi answered and flipping the fish on the other side.
"Oh, the dorky guy who stays in front of the computer eighteen hours a day?" he took a cola out and drank it. "What was his name again?"
"Shun, and no it's not him. It's some guy she met in some café or something."
Oh, and I forgot, it's not only Sasuke who you should hate for being such a play boy, the three of them are. Itachi dates tons of women and Ayuki dates any men. I guess it runs in the blood. The Uchiha's, a big family of jerks.
"Oh, yeah, she told me to tell you that a mail just arrived from Hokkaido, it's from Saku," Itachi puts the burned fish, which they'll call dinner in a plate and pointed on the next room.
"Saku? Seriously? That dude never bothered writing when he went to away, I wonder what happened to that wimp," Sasuke laughed and turn to the living room and saw the letter on the computer desk.
"That Saku, was your first best friend right?" Itachi fried another fish. Sasuke heard him scream 'Aah! God! Fuck this stinking fish'.
"Yeah, we were like only eight when he left. That dumb ass promised to write and tell me his new address," Sasuke groaned and opened the envelope. He pulls the letter out and a picture fell to the floor at the same time, he took it up and saw a group of guys in a beach. He noticed his friend wearing a cap and a striped shirt and baggy shorts and his pink bangs falls in his forehead. "Hah! Look Itachi, he still looks so wimpy!" he snickered and flopped on the couch. Sasuke excitedly opens the letter and read.
Yo!
Sasuke, How's Shibuya so far? Have you seen the picture?
That was taken last summer with some friends. I'm sorry to forget
my promise about telling you my address here; it's been so hard to
adjust so it flew from my mind. Well, anyways, my dad said I can go
back there and continue my high school studies, since he have my four
older brothers to take care of him. I think I'll be crashing there
for a while 'till I found a part time job and get me an apartment.
I'll be arriving Tokyo in the 4
All the love for you, asshole,
Saku
"So what it said?" Itachi asked setting the table for dinner.
"Oh," Sasuke scratched his head and turn his head to Itachi. "He'll be crashing in for some few months till he finds a place to stay and a job, his dad gave him permission to come back," Sassuke walked towards the table and grabs a sit and scratches his head. "And he'll be coming tomorrow at nine; I need to pick him up at the station."
"So, should I fix the guest room?" Itachi took his sit while Sasuke said 'thanks for the food!' and started digging in.
"Nah, as if he's that special. We can share room." Itachi jerked a brow up, looking to his brother and shook his head and took the envelope at the side of Sasuke's plate. He takes a look on the picture and rubbed his face.
"You know, you're not a very bright kid," he said and taking his chop sticks.
"What the fuck?"
"Nothing. Thanks for the food."
--
Sasuke got out from the bathroom, his towel on top of his damp hair; he only wears boxers and a shirt. He poked inside Itachi's room and saw his brother cleaning his camera's lenses. Itachi looked up to him.
"What?"
"Ki's not home yet, didn't she call you?" Sasuke asked. Sasuke and Itachi are different if it comes to woman, Sasuke still cares and somewhat kind to the girls that needed them and Itachi? Even on his own sister he doesn't give a damn, all he wanted is sex.
"No. Don't worry about her, she's like already grown woman."
"Tch. More likely an over grown kid," Sasuke said ready to close the door. "Good night," he closed it quietly and heard Itachi good night behind the thick door. Sasuke sighed and went down stairs, to the living room and he lies on the coach, on foot rested on the coffee table near. He sighed.
Sasuke lays the same position for a while now, then, he looked up to the clock; it's already ten in the evening. He rested his head on his arm and closed his eyes. "Saku will come back eh?" he murmured.
When Sasuke was six he saw a truck mover in the house next to theirs. He saw bunch of boy toys, like basket balls and toy guys and he even saw three boys that looks like five years older than him and saw another short haired boy… wait. He rubbed his eyes and saw a short pink hair. Is he a… girl? Then, he saw the kid scared a cat away and even kicked the poor thing. No, he's a boy. If he's a girl then he should be petting and playing with the cat.
The next morning, Sasuke went out to play with his ball, we went to the empty lot and saw a bunch of boys gathered around in a group. He took a look and saw the new boy crying, he was sitting on the ground, hands covering his pink hair. They boys are laughing and kicking dirt on him and calling him sissy and girly, Sasuke got mad, real made.
"What do you think you're doing with him!?" he asked then threw his ball to a boy and knocked him out. Sasuke grabbed a large twig on the ground and pointed on the boys with all his courage. "He's not girly! I saw him beating up a cat so bad, he's crying because you guys are older and many! So scram you bunch of stupid meannies!" he cried and swings the twig violently that made the boys ran away. "Hmp, who's the sissy now," he grunted. He heard sobs; Sasuke turns and saw the new boy who's still crying. "Hey now, they're gone."
The new kid looked up but continues to smile. "T-thanks."
"No problem," Sasuke smirked. "I live next door, so I saw you have badly beaten up the cat yesterday. My name is Sasuke, what's yours?" he asked.
"S-s-saku-" the boy only manage to say when he tried up the pain in his knees made him cut off what he was saying.
"Nice to meet ya, Saku. C'mon, let's go home and let my sister take care of you bubu," Sasuke held his hand and they walked to their house.
Since then, Sasuke and Saku became real close friends.
Sasuke got up when he heard the door open and giggles out side. Ayuki's home, finally. He got up and went to the front door to see what happened to her.
"Ah! Sasu-chan! I'm home," she smiled and hugged him that made them stumble in the floor.
"Fuck, Ki, you're so drunk," Sasuke said carrying her and tugging her black bangs behind her ears. "Itachi! Drunk alert!" he exclaimed, enough to make his brother hear him.
"Hey, I got something for you," Ayuki said between her hiccups.
"Wow, I'm excited for what it is, lemme guess, is it puke?" he asked sarcastically.
"Noooo," Ayuki got up and pulled some one outside. "Shit, you fell on the bushes! You're so drunk!" Sasuke heard a moan that made him curious. Ayuki pulled her 'present' and pulled it inside! "TAD-AAAAAAAAA!" It's a guy, or was a girl? With pink hair, baggy shirt, shorts and rubber shoes and drunk.
"Eh? Saku!?" Sasuke exclaimed. Itachi went down and saw the two drunk dorks in the front door, both giggling and sitting on the cold floor.
"Yo! Uchiha family!" Saku grinned and gave them a peace sign with her both hands.
"I thought you're coming tomorrow?" Sasuke asked.
"Hey, guys! I'm gonna puke, tee-hee!" Ayuki said that made Sasuke and Itachi alert.
"Shit!" Itachi exclaimed, running towards Ayuki. "Puke outside, woman!" Itachi ordered and pulled Ayuki's long black hair in his hand.
"Geeze, Kiki-chan, you're like so weak!" Saku laughed hard and pats Ayuki's back heavily.
"Sasuke, make you friend shut up, I'll take care of Ayuki." Itachi carried Ayuki in his arms and closed the door behind him. "You're so in trouble tomorrow and you'll be the one cleaning you mess, it's so your responsible, Ayuki." Itachi growled but Ayuki only laughed.
"So, you were saying?" Sasuke asked giving his hand to his friend.
"I had to go here as soon as possible," Saku answered grabbing Sasuke hand and letting him pull him to his feet. Saku is shorted than Sasuke, his head is measured in Sasuke's chin. Sasuke carried Saku in his back and carried him to his room. "Damn, you're taller than me!" Saku said laughing. "When I left we're like in the same height!"
"Whatever," Sasuke sighed. "Keep it down will ya? It's already pass eleven, you'll wake the neighbors up." Saku kept on talking loudly until they reached Sasuke's room. Sasuke lays his pink haired friend in his bed sat next to him. "So why do you have to come back as soon as possible?"
Saku groaned and flipping his stomach in the mattress, "I broke up with my boy friend 'cause I told him I was gonna live with ya for a moment," he answered. Sasuke turned white as sheet. Fucking christ! His best friend is gay!
"W-w-what? You're kidding right?" he said nervously. But Saku already drifted into sleep. "Hey!" Sasuke poked Saku until he gave up. Sasuke sighed and pushed his body to the bed. "He was drunk, he's making things up. He was drunk, he's making things up. He was drunk, he's making things up. He was drunk, he's making things up," Sasuke murmured to himself until he found himself sleepy and slept.
The next day Sasuke woke up, Saku was no longer in bed. He groaned and yawned. He got up and went down for some breakfast. He heard Ayuki's singing and the loud ruffle of Itachi's news paper. He went to the dinning table and Ayuki served him bacon and eggs.
"Why are you so happy today?" he asked to his sister.
"I'm in lolololove" she answered twirling around in the kitchen and started singing again. Itachi groaned and rubs his temple.
"Hey, did you know that Saku broke up with his boy friend?" Sasuke said eating his eggs. But no weird reactions like what he had when Saku said the reason why he came back earlier than expected. "Aren't you guys shocked? Intrigued? Or disgusted?" he asked.
"Why would we? It's only common in a relationship," Itachi snorted.
"Geeze, you guys are weird. I'm gonna take a bath," Sasuke said taking his half eaten breakfast in the sink.
"Where you going this summer any way?" Ayuki asked scrubbing the plates.
"Getting laid," he smirked that made Ayuki laugh a little and Itachi only grunt.
Sasuke went to his room and grabbed his towel and went straight to the bathroom.
"Aah, I can't believe they didn't take what I said seriously," Sasuke asked pointing out again the fact that his friend is gay. Sasuke grabbed the door know and opens the door. "I don't even know what to do if he confesses his love for me," he grunted and saw Saku, in shower, his curvy body, and his… boobs?
"KYAAAAAAA!" Saku shrieked and threw a basin to Sasuke that knocked him off. Sakura hurriedly grabbed her towel and covered herself and take a look at Sasuke. "Sasuke, you idiot, you should have knocked or listen if some one was in there!" Saku said as she shook his shoulder. Itachi and Ayuki hurriedly went up screaming 'what's going on' and 'what happened?' and saw Sasuke on the floor, nose bleeding.
Sasuke turned his head to his brother and sister. His face is pale and eyes shocked. "He's a she," he said pointing to his friend. Ayuki buried her face with his hand and Itachi only grunted massage his temples.
"What the hell!? You thought I was a boy!" Saku exclaimed and stomped on Sasuke's stomach. "You deserve this alright you fuckstard!"
-to be continue
Author's note: did you like it? Please do tell. Reviews are mostly welcome and consider your flames as your suicidal letter. Hoho!
Sasuke was so stupid thinking our dear Sakura-chan as a guy, funny, right? LOL. Ohyeah, Ayuki is an OC and I think I made Itachi and Sasuke a lil OOC, but what the heck, I had fun writing this fic not like Deal with Me and Wanted: Girl friend. But I will finish them both; I already have plans for the next chapter. Okay then, see you next week for the new chapter! Jan e!