Title: So I'll see you there then?
Author: Chibi-zoe (me)
Series: Naruto
Pairing: Kakashi x Iruka
Rating: R
Warnings: none
Summary: Kakashi is forced to undergo sexual dysfunction therapy, his therapist turns out to be Iruka

Written for The Letter S and contains the following kinks
Scoptophilia: arousal from looking at sexually stimulating scenes
Sex surrogates: people who are trained to help people overcome sexual dysfunctions
Sex toys
Sexual inversion: arousal from person of same sex
Siphnianize: anal masturbation
Sodomy: oral or anal intercourse involving penetration with male, female or animal
Sounding: insertion of object into the urethra
Stuffing: insertion of objects into vagina or anus
Switch: people who play either top or bottom role

Standing in the midst of her cluttered office, Kakashi stared at his Hokage in disbelief. There was absolutely nothing wrong with his sexuality. Just because he preferred his porn to real people, was no reason to force him to undergo sexual dysfunction therapy. All of his protests were emphatically ignored, as was the childish pout barely hidden by his mask. Dismissed with a command to treat the therapy like an S-class mission, he took the scroll that was presented to him, his shoulders slumping in dejection, and teleported from the room.

Behind him, unheard, the words 'Well that went better than expected' echoed.

At home, in the safety of his bedroom, Kakashi opened the scroll and perused its contents. Most of it was excerpts from his most recent psych evaluation, but there were also comparisons with his previous evaluations, as well as comments from some of his jounin and chuunin team members. The Hokage was clearly taking a risk by allowing him to read his colleagues' comments; trusting him not to go out and terrorise them in retaliation. All in all the report didn't present a pretty picture of a happy, healthy ninja. Then he saw who his therapist was to be.

"Hokage-sama how could you?" he whispered to the empty room.

There, in glaring black and white, was the name Umino Iruka, Chuunin ranked pre-genin academy instructor, and someone that Kakashi was doomed to interact with on an extremely regular basis, due to one Uzumaki Naruto. What was far worse though was the fact that Iruka-sensei had clearly already been approached in relation to the matter, and had accepted, because there were horrifyingly explicit notes in the margins, so that he couldn't even request a different therapist be appointed.

In a fit of pique, he threw the scroll at the wall and slumped down onto his bed. He stared unseeing at the ceiling, as he tried to calm the tumultuous emotions coursing through his body, tamping down the feelings of inadequacy and the hints of betrayal. He was shinobi, if his Hokage ordered him to do something he would do it, and he would do it to the best of his ability. It didn't mean that he had to like it though, or make life easy for the other either. Taking several deep, calming breaths, he rose to his feet and retrieved the scroll.

Carefully re-reading the so called mission parameters, he found himself automatically assessing the variables and sighed as he realised that this was probably the reason that he was being recommended for therapy. What kind of man approached a sexual encounter like it was a mission? Obviously the answer was an over-trained copy-nin. Really, what could they expect? He'd been a ninja since he was five years old. Resisting the urge to sigh once again, he carefully rolled up the scroll and placed it on his desk.

Maybe a cup of tea would help? He moved into the kitchenette and turned on the kettle, resting his hip against counter whilst he waited for the water to boil. A quick glance at the clock indicated that his therapy session was due to start in less than half an hour and he could almost guarantee that his therapist would be early. It was like rubbing salt into an open wound, having the therapy occur in Kakashi's own home, but once again, he had no avenue for protest. He felt his hands curl up into fists at the injustice.

Taking further deep, calming breaths Kakashi tried to focus on his tea. The water had boiled and he turned the kettle off, boiling water was no good for tea, it would have to cool slightly. Reaching up for the tea canister, he hesitated before choosing the traditional blend. Working carefully he scooped the loose leaves into the pot, enough for two, and added the hot, but no longer boiling, water and set it aside to steep. As he had expected, the doorbell rang, twice, before the tea was ready for drinking.

"Umino-san, how can I help you?"

Iruka-sensei had his no-nonsense expression on, and was hefting a rather large messengers-satchel, Kakashi had the distinct impression that he was in for a rough evening. Opening the door further, he moved to completely block the entrance way, standing with his feet spread and his arms crossed, in order to look larger and more threatening. Iruka-sensei did not look at all fazed by his unco-operative and inhospitable behaviour; instead the man merely lowered his eyes and bowed respectfully.

"Thank you for taking the time to see me tonight Hatake-san."

As if the man hadn't walked half-way across town out of his way and set up camp on his doorstep. Kakashi stared down at the bowed form for a long moment, and then stared straight into Iruka-sensei's honest and unclouded eyes when the man straightened up. There was no wavering of intent and no fear, only a sincere and earnest desire to help. Huffing in defeat, Kakashi stepped aside and gestured the man towards the kitchen, the tea was probably ready to drink anyway.

"Would you like some tea Iruka-sensei?" There really wasn't any point to formality tonight; after all he was going to be sharing intimate aspects of his life with the man.

"Yes please Kakashi-sensei" Was the quiet response, Iruka-sensei clearly trying not to make waves. He noticed the man taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly as though calming himself.

They sat in silence as they drank their tea. Kakashi allowed his eye to roam over the teacher, who kept his own gaze on his cup, really looking at the man for the first time since they had met. He was strangely un-remarkable sitting there quietly, and Kakashi realised that the man was astonishingly good as dissembling. Knowing the chuunin outside of work, on a casual basis through Naruto, Kakashi knew that the man was passionate and outspoken, with no respect for rank when he was riled up.

"All right then Kakashi-sensei, let's get down to business."

With that simple statement, Kakashi felt his stomach start to churn with anxiety. It didn't help when Iruka-sensei bent down to rummage through his satchel and took out a bunch of papers, a solid-seeming book and a rather dented pencil case. He placed these items carefully on the table and then looked Kakashi right in the eye. Disturbed, he tried to laugh it off.

"What, no whip? Iruka-sensei that's shameful."

"Maa, Kakashi-sensei, you should've told your shrink that you liked things like that, I'd have brought a selection."

Well, someone was clearly in a good mood today, and it wasn't Kakashi. At least it appeared as though the therapy was going to be intellectual rather than physical, which was definitely a good thing. He hadn't felt comfortable with the idea of engaging in those kinds of activities with the academy sensei.

"Now, Kakashi-sensei, I'm here today because you have difficulties being intimate with people. I'm not here to judge you or to tell you how to live your life, but I will try my best to help you work through your issues." Here Iruka-sensei paused to pick up several of the papers that he had placed on the table.

"I want you to fill out this questionnaire for me. It's completely confidential; I won't even be showing Hokage-sama. I just need to get a feel for where you are at right now, and I'll get you to fill out the same questionnaire at the end of our final session so that I can see how you've progressed."

Kakashi took the proffered papers and read through them. Most of the questions were the standard boring ones about how he felt, but there were a few that were so intimate that they made him blush. Biting his tongue to hold in a pithy comment about how he was supposed to remember his reactions when he hadn't been laid in years, he settled for glaring at the paper and ticking 'don't know' for all of the things that he'd either never tried or hadn't been subjected to. Then he slid the paper back across the table and sat back in his chair, crossing his arms defensively.

"Thank you Kakashi-sensei."

To his consternation, Iruka-sensei then read through all of his answers and even he asked questions to clarify his responses. Kakashi hadn't been so embarrassed since he was a teenager. Telling another man that he almost never masturbated, despite reading copious amounts of porn, was down right humiliating, and then the man had asked for the intimate details of how he masturbated. Did he fondle his balls, touch his ass or his nipples, or did he just stroke in a regular pattern? Kakashi was quite surprised that his mask didn't spontaneously combust.

"Thank you for your honesty Kakashi-sensei, I know that this is difficult for you. I'm going to take this and put together a plan of action to suit your responses. In the meantime I'd like for you to read through this book" he pushed the book across the table "before our session next week. It should help you feel a little more comfortable with some of the things that we're going to discuss."

Kakashi looked at the title of the book and nearly fell off his chair; it was a book entirely about sexual kinks and practices. Just as he was about to open the front cover and take a peek, a hand entered his field of vision and gently pressed down.

"I suggest that you eat first, not everything inside will appeal to you and you will find some downright stomach churning. Enjoy your evening, Kakashi-sensei."

He sat and watched as Iruka-sensei packed up his things and let himself out. Then he absently took a sip of stone cold tea and was jolted into action. He had been instructed to treat this as an S-class mission, therefore he would obey Iruka-sensei's command and eat first, and then he would settle down to study his new sex manual. Perhaps he should have something bland for dinner; it was always so disturbing to throw up in technicolour.

By the end of the week, Kakashi felt like he'd been scarred for life. The book had been alternately fascinating and disgusting, some people found the oddest things arousing. On the other hand, he'd found a whole raft of things that had piqued his interest and he was eager to try them out, but he was going to need some supplies first. A quick henge and a sex shop later he was the proud owner of a whole bag full of sex aids, including a yaoi manga that he'd heard a couple of girls gushing over.

"So I take it you enjoyed the book?"

Kakashi looked up to see that Iruka-sensei had beaten him home, and was standing there grinning at him. He offered a superficial grin in response as he dug out his keys and waved the other man in. Doffing his sandals in the entrance way, he watched as Iruka-sensei plopped a cushion on the ground in the living area and sat down, making himself comfortable.

"Come now Kakashi-sensei, don't be shy let's see what you've bought."

Iruka-sensei was making hurrying motions with his hands and was clearly excited to see what was in the bag. Kakashi wished dearly that he'd thought a little more about the time, he hadn't planned on letting his therapist know that he'd been shopping. Shuffling across the room, he slumped onto his favourite cushion and handed the bag to the other man, who immediately began to paw through it. As his purchases were lined up on the floor between them, Kakashi wished that the ground would just open up and swallow him.

"Would you like some tea at all Iruka-sensei?"

"No thank you Kakashi-sensei, but thank you for the offer."

Bugger, there went his escape plan. When the bag was empty, the man sat up straight and gave him a grin like a Cheshire cat. Kakashi swore he could almost see little sparkles dancing around the man's head.

"That's quite an interesting selection you have there Kakashi-sensei. You must've been like a kid in a candy shop. Would you like to explain why you picked the items that you did? What was it about them that made you choose them?"

Kakashi wanted to do that about as much as he wanted to scoop out his remaining eye with a rusty spoon. He sat there sullenly, staring at the plastic packets marching in a line between himself and Iruka-sensei. An expectant silence enveloped the room and Kakashi's conscience pricked him, he was supposed to be treating this like a mission, and on a mission you did what you needed to not what you wanted to.

"Maa Iruka-sensei, we both know that I picked these items because the associated acts in your book appealed to me. Let's not beat around the bush here." From the laugh that burst from the academy sensei's throat, his snarky answer had been expected.

"Well then Kakashi-sensei, seeing as you're too embarrassed to talk to me about them now, I want you to record what you do with each of these items and your feelings about them. Don't be shy, I want lots of details."

Under his mask, Kakashi was blushing furiously. The man was either a closet pervert or Jiraiya in disguise. Recording his experiments with his new sex toys? He could just imagine it:

'Dear Diary,

Well, today I slowly inserted a hollow metal tube into my urethra. It was a bit uncomfortable at first, but then it started to feel really, really good. I teased myself mercilessly with it until I came. I really need to start dating a medic-nin.

Kakashi'

If word of this ever got out he was going to be a laughing stock. Tamping down the irritation he could feel rising, he looked across to Iruka-sensei, surprised to find the man studying him intently.

"What?"

"If you enjoy that manga let me know, I've got the rest of the series. Don't forget the details."

With that, Iruka-sensei rose to his feet and waved a jaunty good-bye. Kakashi rubbed his face with his hands, had anyone ever died of humiliation before? He carefully gathered up all of his new toys and conscientiously read all of the operating instructions and warnings, before putting them away in the top drawer of his bedside table. There was no way he was going to able to enjoy any of them tonight.

It was three days before Kakashi got a chance to try out any of his toys. He had a hot shower, dried himself off but didn't get dressed. Naked, he lay upon his bed and took out his yaoi manga. It was remarkably engrossing reading, and terribly explicit. Half-way through the first story, he recognised the toy that the seme was teasing the uke with, it was the same as one of the ones he had bought. A brief rummage produced both the toy and anal lube. It was a small, brightly coloured, vibrating egg with a wired remote.

He'd been on the receiving end of intercourse on numerous occasions but he'd never deliberately inserted a toy up his own ass before. He lay back on the bed, propping himself up with a couple of pillows and spread his thighs, ignoring his half-hard erection. Carefully lubricating his finger, he swirled the digit around the tight ring before slowly easing it inside. The sensation was unbelievably intense and he gently thrust his finger in and out a few times, going a little deeper each time.

His erection was fully hard by the time he pulled his finger free and lubed up the egg. He slotted it against his ass and pushed firmly whilst slightly twisting it. It slid in with a pop and a brief, delicious, stretching sensation. He wriggled his hips against the odd fullness, before gathering up the remote and his neglected manga. He tried to continue reading, but every time he clenched his muscles, a wave of pleasure washed through him, centred on his ass. He couldn't imagine how good he was going to feel when he finally turned his little toy on.

"I see that you really enjoyed yourself Kakashi-sensei." Was it just his imagination or were Iruka-sensei's cheeks just a little bit pink?

"Hn." He hated to admit it, but the chuunin was right. He had enjoyed himself, a lot more than he had expected to and he hadn't felt so relaxed in years.

"Now that you know what it is that you like, we're going to move on. I want you to think about what it is that you would want from a sexual encounter with another person. I don't want you to tell me now, I want you to keep it in your mind and tell me at our session next week." Iruka-sensei gave him a blinding smile "Now, I want you to come over here" he patted the floor beside the cushion he was sitting on "and tell me what you think about these scenarios." Iruka-sensei patted the small pile of papers that he had spread out before him.

Kakashi smiled as he told the KIA memorial all about his sex therapy sessions with Iruka-sensei. He was sure that his sensei and genin team members would have been highly amused by it all. He had finally gotten over his embarrassment at the whole situation and started to embrace the things that the chuunin was trying to impart to him. It had been easier to do when he realised that it was definitely helping. They had had their final session last night and Kakashi was feeling confident in his own sexuality for the first time in a long time.

He felt confident enough to actively start pursuing the man who had caught his interest; a certain multi-skilled chuunin academy instructor, a man with an open and friendly face, a charming manner and a wicked temper. He now knew what he wanted, and he knew how to get it. All he had to do now was find the man.

"Yo Iruka-sensei, would you like a hand?" The pony-tailed man was currently struggling with an enormous pile of books, most likely running an errand for the Hokage.

"Yes please Kakashi-sensei, I may have bitten off a little more than I can chew." Grinning at the flustered man, he grabbed half of the stack and fell into step beside his now ex-therapist.

"So Iruka-sensei, I was wondering if you would be able to help me out with another little insecurity that I've been suffering from."

"Anything to help Kakashi-sensei" eager eyes met his

"Perhaps we could talk about it over dinner at my place tonight?" To Kakashi's satisfaction the teacher nodded happily completely oblivious.

He had just finished serving up when he heard the familiar knock. A quick rat-a-tat-tat that he'd never heard anyone else ever use.

"It's open!"

"I brought some sake, I hope you don't mind, but I could definitely use a drink after today." Maybe he wasn't the only one with aspirations of a little something extra. He grinned cheerfully as he reached up to get his special sake cups.

"Not at all Iruka-sensei, I could do with a cup or two as well."

They chatted casually over their meal, and then further over their sake. Kakashi found himself staring at Iruka-sensei as the man explained how he had come to be a sex therapist, and then found himself in stitches as the man shared a few hilarious stories about his own exploits. A few months ago, he would never have believed that sex could be so funny. He turned his head to tell the other man his thoughts and found warm brown eyes staring at him. Without thinking, Kakashi leant forward and brushed his own, mask covered, lips across the inviting lips in front of him.

"…" Clearly lost for words, Iruka-sensei's eyes searched his own, before warm caramel-coloured hands rose up to run through his hair.

He let out a soft moan of his own and heard Iruka-sensei's breathing hitch. Then he raised his own hands and pulled down his mask, he couldn't remember the last time that he'd kissed someone, and he couldn't let this opportunity pass him by. Iruka-sensei's lips were rough beneath his own, his tongue demanding and dominating. Kakashi bowed to his superior experience, and soon found himself rolled onto his back with the academy instructor straddling his hips. Eager hands were pulling at his clothing and moaned at the feeling of something hard pushing against his own erection.

"Kakashi…" puff, pant "… top or …" deep kiss "…bottom…?" He could barely think let alone answer.

"Don't care" he managed between bouts of tonsil hockey. A deep moan met this pronouncement, and then, suddenly, there was a warm hand on his cock, and it wasn't his own.

He knew that he wasn't going to last very long tonight and he tried to convey this to his partner, who didn't seem to be concerned in the slightest.

"… that just … means … that we'll … have … to … have another …. go ….doesn't it … Kakashi-kun?"

With that, he felt fingers probing him intimately and thew his head back in ecstasy. It felt unreal when he did this to himself, when it was someone else doing it, it felt amazing.

"I'm … ready now … Iruka-kun."

His mind went completely blank as he felt Iruka-sensei slowly push his way in. It was so very different to the dildo's that he'd been practicing with, and nothing at all like the mission sex that he had occasionally indulged in as a teenager. He lay panting in Iruka-sensei's arms as the man hilted and stared down at him, lust blazing in his eyes. Then that wonderful fullness started to recede and he tightened his grip on the muscled back and clenched his muscles in protest.

The first thrust caused sparks to shoot along his nerves and he cried out softly in pleasure. The second caused his breath to catch in his throat and the third had him wrapping his whole body as tightly around his lover as he could. After that he lost count and simply hung onto the man pounding into him and causing him such pleasure.

When Iruka-sensei came, he did so quietly, his body stiffening as his hips jerked in a staccato pattern. Then he slumped against Kakashi's chest, and snaked his hand between their bodies to stimulate Kakashi into his own orgasm. It only took a couple of pumps before he groaned and released between their stomachs, the fullness still in his ass intensifying his pleasure. Panting, he reached up blindly, desperate to feel warm lips against his own.

"That was disappointingly quick Kakashi-kun. I think that you need a little more practice. Luckily I've got all night."