Author's preambling:

It's been 6 years since I last wrote. Very rusty. Would like to get back on my feet and start writing again. Please let me know what you think. Rated M for future chapters. Will probably be Zack/Cloud though that may change.

Disclaimer:

Don't own the characters. Never did, never will. As much as I would like to.

Chapter One: Home

Two mud-caked shoes plodded heavily into the compartment, earning the grubby man attached to them scattered reproachful glances. The man ignored said glances, raising a dirt-stained hand to matt down his mane of greying hair. The train doors shut behind him and the train jerked to life, squealing its way along the tracks.

The man cleared his throat, then launched into what sounded like a long memorized tirade mumbled loudly through his thick beard, before beginning his slow walk down the carriage, sticking out his hand for any spare change the irritated passengers would toss to him.

Cloud exhaled almost audibly, burying his nose deeper into his book. This ride was taking too long. And this was already the third beggar shoving another hand into his face.

Everyone in the compartment heaved a sigh of relief as the train doors slid open again and the old man stumbled his way out, pulling a bottle of gin out of his pocket.

Cloud turned his gaze away from the page he was hardly digesting and to the view of Junon pulling away outside the window. Another day. Another mission. Another crimson stain on his sword.

Use brings about wear and tear.

He allowed himself an unnoticeable smile, recollecting the words of his raven-haired mentor. If only Zack could see how much he had grown. He would have been proud. It had been... What? 5 years, 4 months, and 23 days? Who was counting anyway?

He let himself sink into a thick haze of memories, knowing full well he would regret reminiscing so much later on. The warm grin, the reassuring voice, the strong protective arms. They seemed to fade ever so slowly in his mind with each day.

The smile faded from his mind. There was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to ask. But he was gone now.

He blinked, switching his focus back on the vast expanse of utterly nothing in front of him. The delivery service had its perks. It put food on the table. Food which often felt like leaping back out into the world in glorious retching sounds whenever deliveries involved traveling excessively long distances.

"I'm living your share, Zack." he whispered to himself. "Just wish you were here to do it for yourself."

A loud gurgle erupted from his belly, and Cloud slapped a hand over his mouth, feeling his face turning several shades greener.

Yep. He hated trains.

"Don't."

A pale, firm hand pulled Zack back into his seat and back into the darkness at the other end of the carriage masked in shadow. Zack cast a lingering look at the blonde, half wishing he would look up, half wishing he was just part of the steel wall against his back. The crowd jostled in the tight space, sealing off the tiny crack through which he was watching the younger man.

"Not yet."

--

Cloud stepped gingerly into the bar, the warm and comforting scent of wood filling his starved senses. It was good to be back. His eyes swept across the room, looking for-

There she was.

Tifa leaned against the doorframe, drying off a glass that she set on the table. Her hazel eyes met his crystal blue ones, a smile spreading slowly across her face. He closed the distance between them slowly, allowing her hand to reach up and trace the sharp angles of his jawline before resting on his cheek. Admittedly, he had missed this. Her touch.

"You're late."

Her voice.

Cloud nodded a silent apology, his gaze lingering for several more long moments before turning to the stairs that wound their way to the upper levels. A shower and a nap sounded really good to him right now...

"Go take a shower and a nap before dinner," Tifa smiled, reading the non-expression on his face. "The train ride was probably hell on you."

She let out a soft sigh as Cloud disappeared up the stairs. She knew he needed time to open up again... But the seemingly endless waiting for him was wearing her resolve paper thin. He had had some progress, sometimes returning her touches, sometimes almost allowing a smile to ghost across his lips. But he mostly kept silent, blue eyes locked onto hers for long drawn moments.

"You aren't telepathic you know..." she mumbled to herself, setting down another dried glass. She was about to walk back into the back room when the doors to the bar swung open behind her.

"I'm sorry, we're closed for-"

A gasp stoppered her sentence.

"What are you doing here?"

--

He tossed his soiled clothes in a rumpled heap at the foot of the bed, toweling his hair dry while rummaging through his cupboard for a shirt. The hot shower had done wonders to relax his over-tensed muscles.

He flopped back into the bed with a satisfied groan. The past two weeks had been horrid, filled with a myriad of different monsters and sleepless nights. At least the job paid well. There were times, drenched in the slime of monsters, that he was beginning to think he should have asked for a higher price.

His eyes slid close, letting his mind go. And his mind always seemed to wander towards the same place.

"Feet apart!" Zack laughed, exasperation tinging his voice. "You won't even be able to jab a stationary rock if you stand with your feet together like they were tied up."

He nudged his foot between Cloud's feet, kicking them apart and making the young private stumble slightly. The latter brushed his bangs out from his eyes, hands tightening around the handle of the weapon. They had been at this for hours now, and he was no closer to having any semblance of a warrior.

Cloud frowned. "Permission to take a break Sir." His arms already felt like they were made of lead covered in bits of heavy metal with a large duck sitting on them. Zack let out a chuckle and slapped the boy solidly across the back in what he thought was a friendly pat.

"Sure. And Cloud, stop calling me Sir."

Cloud attempted to rearrange his face from the furrowed frown but gave up as it collapsed on itself.

"Yes Sir- Zack."

"Sir Zack?" the SOLDIER laughed. "I could live with that. SIR ZACK! PROTECTOR OF THE INNOCENT, DEFENDER OF GAIA!"

He twirled the buster sword several times in the air with a triumphant swoop, singing his victory theme song.

Cloud smiled at his mentor. How was he was supposed to respect this man who pulled him out from his normal squad to do 'special top-secret SOLDIER training' when the raven haired man spent most of his time acting like a 10 year old? He didn't mind so much. At least his days alone on the bench in the mess hall were now replaced with days alone on the bench in the mess hall with Zack sitting opposite him, jabbering on about anything and everything.

Zack plopped himself next to Cloud on the ground, pushing a bottle of water to the younger boy. The blonde offered him a small smile, taking the bottle and chugging down half its contents.

"Zack's lips have touched this," he suddenly thought, a slight blush creeping onto his cheeks before choking suddenly and violently.

Zack slapped the boy's back again, sending him flying a few feet ahead. He grinned at the boy picking himself off the ground, and said

"Day dreaming again, Strife?"

Cloud snapped out of his reverie and to his feet, his sword already poised in his hand. His eyes widened in shock, falling on the intruder in his doorway.

"You..."