It's been a while since I updated, but I'm happy to let you know there's yet another chapter out. I'd say sorry for the delay, but I think the delay has become almost required and would be surprised if say chapter 21 were to come out before about 10 months had passed.

I'm also extremely pleased to note that this is chapter 20 and that the story has come so far, and is so close to being finished. In any case enjoy the story.

As a gift for my 200th review, I will be writing a one-shot of whatever they request. In case that my 200th review is anonymous or unable to be contacted it will move to the 201st reviewer and so forth. Please remember to review and good luck.

Status: beta'd

Recap:

After receiving an injury that caused Neji to think Tenten was dead, the two of them began having romantic relations. However it's been revealed that Neji is engaged to Hanako Sugi who is from a noble family and is marrying her to improve the opinions of the Hyuuga Elders.

While Neji would much rather marry Tenten, Tenten insists that she would not be good for the Hyuuga and she does not provide the connections the Hyuuga Elders are hoping to make with his marriage to Hanako. Only Hinata and Lee know about their secret affair.

Tenten left Team Gai to work with the ANBU, and Team Gai became Team Four with the addition of Megumi who specialises in genjutsu.

Currently Tenten is on a mission with Team Four, her mission is to seduce Takeshi Sakamoto, the head of intelligence in Iwagakure, Team Four is on an escort mission, which is being used to hide Tenten's true mission.

Tenten kills Sakamoto, and after his death Neji reveals that he does not hate Tenten for accepting a seduction mission, rather he admires that she is willing to give everything for Konoha.

On a visit to Hanako, Neji's fiancée, Hanako reveals that she is marrying Neji for political reasons and holds no love for him. Hanako also reveals that she knows Tenten's feelings for Neji. Hanako also states that she would turn her eyes away if Neji were to take Tenten as his mistress. Tenten invites Hanako to come visit her some other time and warns her that it is ill advised to tell secrets in the Hyuuga Clan House.

A soft hand caressed her, fingers exploring every inch of her smooth skin. She was hazy, just awakening from her slumber. Fingers began to drift lower, exploring between her legs. She smiled softly at Neji's antics, but as she turned to face him she realised it wasn't Neji but Sakamoto.

She whispered for him to stop, but he continued, his fingers now pressing uncomfortably against her. She began to cry out for Neji, her attempts to push Sakamoto away wouldn't work. She screamed once more for Neji, just as Sakamoto began to enter her.

She woke up with a stifled scream.

"Dream, dream, dream…" she muttered. She was used to nightmares now, one did not remain ANBU without having at least a few. Her hands trembled as she turned on the light.

Shakily she crawled out of bed, and went to get a glass of water. While she was doing so she noticed all the dishes piling up on her counter, with all of her missions she'd been too tired to clean up after eating and had left the dishes out until she had time. Well she had time now, she surmised. After a long stretch she began working on a large stack of dirty plates.

Suddenly she noticed a quick movement from the shadows beyond her open kitchen window. She threw a kunai without even thinking about it, and when she heard a soft grunt she checked to see who it was.

Neji stood on the branch just outside her kitchen window, a scratch on his cheek sluggishly bleeding from where she had nicked him. With a sigh she motioned for him to come in as she went in search of her first aid kit.

Carefully she dabbed some salve on his cheek to keep it from getting infected. "Care to explain what you're doing outside my kitchen window at this time of night?" she asked him, wondering if he would answer.

"Hn," he replied.

"That's not an answer, Neji," she warned him. Inwardly sighing at his monosyllabic response. Her fingers became decidedly less gentle as they applied the salve.

"I just came to check up on you. You had a nightmare earlier, what was it about?" He shifted the attention from himself to her.

"Just Sakamoto and stuff, it's fine," she told him as her hands busied themselves with the dirty cutlery. She smiled softly as Neji picked up a drying cloth and began to dry the dishes she'd washed earlier. "Were you jealous that I was sleeping with him?"

Neji was awkwardly silent for a while before answering. "Yes and no. Yes, because he could have you when I couldn't. No, because you aren't really mine and it shouldn't matter to me who you sleep with, I'm the one who's engaged after all."

"Mhmm that makes sense. You know I imagined him as you, it made it easier," she admitted.

"Honestly, I never looked down on you for doing a seduction mission. I was just boiling with jealousy. That you could be with him, that disgusting old man but not with me." Who loves you, was silently added.

"Neji," she told him softly. "We both know it can't happen. Even if I could be your mistress, there'd come a day when I'd want children, when you would want a child. And then it would all come crashing down."

"We've been over this, Tenten," Neji argued. "I know, I know, I know!"

"Well if we're speaking of knowing, Hanako knows, Hinata knows, and God above even Lee knows," Tenten replied snarkily.

Neji looked horror struck that his fiancée knew about it. "I… she knows?"

"She does," Tenten confirmed, not lifting her eyes from the dish she was washing in front of her.

"Who told her?" Neji demanded.

"Hanako is not blind, Neji!" Tenten hissed. "And it's not like she's going to tell anyone either."

"How long?" His voice was hoarse. "How much longer can this go on?" Before we destroy ourselves? He wanted to add but refrained from doing so.

She couldn't say anything. "Neji you should go," she sighed, taking a seat on her threadbare couch.

"Tenten…" his hands reached out towards her but she jerked back before he could reach her.

"Just go," she growled. He left the same way he had come without another word.

She'd given up on dishes to prevent herself from throwing them on the floor; she couldn't afford to buy new dishes. So she'd gone to the ANBU training yard where she had broken her katana during practice, which had left her even more frustrated and upset.

She quit attending practices with Team Four soon after that. She couldn't see Neji without feeling the need to attack him. This at least was familiar; she could deal with anger and rage. She just couldn't deal with the guilt and loss that came from leaving Team Gai and watching as she lost Neji.

Neji seemed to know that he was unwelcome in her house and stopped coming to check on her but Lee and Megumi managed to stop by when they had time. Tenten still felt as if Megumi was trying to pry into her life however.

The weekend arrived, bringing with it Hanako's visit to her apartment. In the hours following Hanako's arrival she'd been feeling more and more unsettled. She'd turned the teapot unto boiling, and began refolding the blanket for the couch when she realised how pointless it was to be anxious over this.

Hanako couldn't tell anyone, any more than she could. And Hanako would never attempt to convince her to marry Neji, because she needed to marry him. Really Hanako was her ally through all this.

When the knock on her door came, Tenten opened it to find the two girls chatting about flowers for their weddings. Hinata came to help her with the tea while Hanako took a seat on the couch. None of them seemed able to broach the subject, so they all politely drank their tea.

Finally Tenten had enough of this dancing around. "Hanako, I'm sure this is hard to hear but Neji and I have been sleeping together before you were even engaged. Neji needs someone like you so he can become the Hyuuga Head, and I don't have the right connections to help him with that. Also I'm not going to be his mistress. It would be stupid to lead ourselves on thinking that one day things might work out."
Hinata opened her mouth to speak. "Tenten, what if there were a way that you could marry him?"

"Hinata we both know there isn't," Tenten sighed.

Hinata looked thoughtful, but Tenten had already turned to address Hanako so she never saw the look Hinata gave her.

"I'm so sorry Tenten," Hanako whispered. "I would trade places with you in a heartbeat."

"For what it's worth, I've never hated you even if you are marrying him."

The two girls embraced tightly. Both of them were doing their duty and both of them would end up unhappy doing it, but neither of them could blame the other.

Time seemed to fly by, before Tenten knew it March turned into April, which was soon giving way to May. It was already the twentieth of April. She almost never saw Neji who was on leave with his wedding coming up, but she still made it a point to train with Team Four. Between training and missions she was exhausted which gave her little time to think about the upcoming marriage, for which she was grateful.

She knew that as Neji's wedding approached he became more restless, often taking missions to patrol Konoha late at night. Lee had also mentioned in a quiet aside that Neji was less focused when they were training and that he seemed to be irritated. Though Neji retreated behind his practiced Hyuuga mask when she trained with Team Four.

She'd finally mailed her RSVP to the Hyuuga, barely making it before the deadline. Afterwards she wondered if she really would be able to sit through the wedding, or what she could wear because it would be inappropriate to wear the kimono Neji had bought her. But she didn't have the money to afford another kimono at least not one nice enough for a Hyuuga wedding.

She'd seen Hinata once since the meeting with Hanako, but Naruto had told her that lately she'd been spending a lot of time in the records hall. She figured Hinata would tell her about it when she had the time.

As the wedding approached everyone seemed to become tense even if they didn't know about the affair. The Rookie Twelve seemed to be coming to the realisation that one of their own was finally getting married and that soon things would be changing.

Tenten's silent concern over what to wear proved to be unfounded when Sakura mentioned she had a few kimonos that she was planning on getting rid of and they might fit Tenten. They'd decided to make it a girls' event so Ino had joined them but Hinata had been nowhere to be found.

Sakura had picked out a muted green kimono that had a golden obi and was patterned with golden flowers. "This should look nice on you, and we're close to the same size so it should fit you properly." Ino had offered her agreement, and so Tenten had found herself dressed up in Sakura's kimono.

Turning to look in the mirror, Tenten found herself agreeing. She looked beautiful in that kimono. As she gazed at herself she found her throat becoming tight and her eyes seemed to well up with tears. She took it off quickly, but packed it up carefully, thanking Sakura profusely as she did so.

Ino and Sakura tried to convince her to stay for a few drinks, but Tenten refused claiming she was exhausted and had training early tomorrow. When she reached her own apartment she flopped unto her old couch and stared blankly ahead. After a while her eyes caught on the bag with the kimono, and feeling rather strange she brought it out and began to put it on once again.

She couldn't tie the obi very well but she did her best. She walked down the hall to one of the two mirrors in her apartment, a large full-length mirror. Carefully she lifted her hands to fiddle with the bands keeping her hair up and undid them. Her hair flowed freely, pushing it behind her ears she looked back into the mirror.

She did look beautiful in that kimono, but overly sad. Her alternate version in the mirror didn't have a smile; she was solemn. Tenten wondered what Neji would think of this kimono.

"You are full of youthful beauty!" Tenten let out a soft yelp and reached for weapons that she didn't have due to the kimono. However she recognised the voice and turned to find Gai standing behind her. "I was just bringing the mail," he explained lifting the letters to show her.

She watched as he carefully put them down on her table. "Would you like some tea?" She offered, suddenly hoping that he would agree. She didn't feel like being alone tonight and wondering what Neji would be doing. It also occurred to her that she hadn't spoken with her old sensei in quite some time.

Gai-sensei agreed with a loud exclamation that made Tenten want to cover her ears and cry at the same time. Finally in an effort to be a good hostess (how would Hanako act?) "Do you like my new kimono? It's for Ne—," his name wouldn't seem to slip out her mouth. Clearing her throat she started again. "It's for the wedding."

Gai stated that she was beautiful, but somehow it didn't feel right. Gai was her sensei and he was required to say that but it wasn't what she wanted to hear. After the tea was served, Tenten sat in silence, listening as Gai regaled her with tales of his new team and their adventures. Finally Gai commented on her silence. "Is there something that troubles you Tenten?"

"It's nothing Gai-sensei. I'm just feeling old today." It was an inside joke, because she was older than both Lee and Neji.

Gai sighed heavily. "Lee confessed that he felt Neji's upcoming wedding would be hard for you. He wouldn't say anything else so I thought a visit might have been in order."

Despite the love Tenten had for her former sensei, she couldn't bring herself to draw him into this mess. She'd made her decision and Neji had made his. There would be no turning back, and Tenten wasn't sure Gai-sensei would be able to accept that Tenten and Neji had sacrificed love to give Neji even the slightest step closer to his dream.

"There's nothing to worry about, Gai-sensei. I'm just saddened by the loss of youthful innocence. Neji will be getting married, I'm in ANBU and I'm sure one day soon Lee will get his own genin team and teach them as admirably as you taught us."

Gai-sensei was caught up by the tale Tenten wove and soon forgot about the odd remark Lee had made concerning Tenten. After Tenten's monologue of youth ended, Gai launched into tales of the youth of his new team which Tenten never tired of hearing. Once they exhausted that topic they moved unto adventures from their own team.

Later that evening Gai tucked the sleeping girl into her own bed since she'd fallen asleep between one story and the next. As he tucked her in, Gai remarked that Tenten looked exhausted and wondered if perhaps ANBU was not the best place for the young woman. She was too beautiful and kind to be wasted away in the dark shadows of ANBU.