Hi everyone, I'm going try my hand at a longer Huddy fic this time around. I know I'm terrible at finishing fics, but I'm really gonna try to finish this one, I promise. Someone kick me if I leave it.

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It was late afternoon at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital and Dr. Gregory House sat alone at his desk twirling his cane and watching the dust float around in the streaks of sun shining through his half-closed blinds. He craned his neck and looked into the conference room, wrinkling his nose at the inactivity he saw. Cameron sat at the table, a large stack of papers before her. Foreman and Chase were working on separate crossword puzzles, clearly in a race to see who would finish first. So in other words, his team was sitting on their asses doing absolutely nothing. And he was also doing absolutely nothing. He had no case. Hadn't had one since his last close shave with the Pelman case. The girl would've died if House hadn't gone around the rules again and performed that biopsy. Lucky for her, House was right, as usual. Life saved, parents happy, House happy. The board, and Cuddy, wasn't so happy with him, of course. But you can't always get what you want.

But now House was bored. He felt like his brain was going to disintegrate if this constant state of boredom went on any longer. Well, of course he had clinic duty, but everyone knows even brainless morons can diagnose what comes into the clinic. So that was out as far as "fun factors" go. Definitely one flag, and House wanted all Six.

Letting his cane thud to the ground, House squeaked out of his chair and walked out of his office, saying to his team as he went, "Be right back guys. I have a theory that Nurse Brenda's pregnant. I'm gonna go ask her."

Chase and Foreman shook their heads at each other, and Cameron only rolled her eyes.

House limped down the hallways, anticipating one of his favorite activities: Cuddy-annoying. It never failed to brighten his day! Countless hours of satisfaction for minimal motor activity. All he had to do was move his mouth. Passing by the nurses station, he smiled broadly at Nurse Brenda and said, "Good afternoon Brenda! I think you're just glowing today." Brenda widened her eyes in surprise and stared at him as he limped past.

On the other side of the hospital spectrum, Lisa Cuddy was having a very busy day. She had already suffered through two board meetings, met with three different very important potential donors, signed what seemed like the equivalent of the Black Forest in papers, and she had yet to hear from House, which meant he was brewing something to unexpectedly explode in her face. She heaved a sigh and sat back in her chair, allowing herself one small moment of relaxation. But then House pushed through her door, without knocking of course. She could hear the unavailing cries of objection from her assistant fading in the background, "She said she wasn't to be dist..."

"House. Now is not a great time. So unless your patient is bleeding at three gallons per minute, I will ask you to come back later." She assumed a defeated position, kneading her forehead with her fingertips. "I've had a very busy day and I can't deal with whatever disaster you've got for me."

House narrowed his eyes at her, leaning casually on his cane, "No disaster. I've got no case. I'm bored. Entertain me."

Cuddy's head shot up, suddenly indignant, "Entertain you! What the hell do you think you're doing? Get out, House!"

"Bad time for you right now? Or just bad time of month? If my calendar is correct, you should have finished this month's cycle last Tuesday."

She shot him a look, "You keep track of my cycle? That's creepy." She got up from behind her desk and grabbed his arm, wheeling him around and leading him towards her door. "Go play your little video games or something. Or watch General Hospital. Or, hey, maybe you can even go be a doctor like it says on your job description and do some clinic hours. Any of those will work. You just can't be in my office."

"But Cuddles," he detached his arm from her surprisingly firm grasp and turned to block the door, "I've already done all those things, if you don't count the clinic part. And I can't do clinic right now, the monkey I usually send down there as my substitute is in for Wilson today. See? I'm out of options and you, as my almighty powerful boss, need to give me something to do."

An image of a monkey in a lab coat suddenly flashed through Lisa Cuddy's mind and it was all she could do not to crack a smile. Because that would mean point for House. And since she didn't have the height advantage, she needed all the points she could get to keep up with him.

"Ok, you want something to do? Answer your mail for once."

"Check. Cameron's doing it."

"Help out in the ER."

"Can't, all those busy nurses running around might trip on my cane. Which I may or may not swing around dangerously." He leaned closer and whispered dramatically, "Would seriously jeopardize the lives countless burn victims and drug over-dosers."

Cuddy closed her eyes and sighed, hands on her hips. "Fine. What do I have to do to get you out of my hair for today?"

"Anything I want?" he asked hopefully, his eyebrows at attention.

"Within. Reason." She was beginning to regret this whole conversation. She should have just ignored him. He would have gotten bored sooner or later and left on his own accord. Now she was playing some ridiculous game with him.

House pondered. He needed to think about this. Cuddy so rarely gave him free reign to chose the game. This had to be something worth while. Something that would be massively skewed to play out to his advantage.

"Okay, I'll disappear for today and do nothing – disruptive – if you agree to be nice to me for a week. And I mean really nice."

Cuddy frowned at him. "I have to be nice to you for a week? That's all? Does not talking to you count as being nice?"

House scrunched up his nose, "Sure, why not. But if you fail at this task, Mistress Cuddy, I shall have my way with you." He waggled his eyebrows and leered at her suggestively.

Cuddy slowly grinned and turned her back to him, "Not a chance House. This is too easy. You see, not all of us are blessed with callous wit and misanthropy. Some of us," she smiled broadly, "are nice without having to pretend." She leaned back in her chair, as if already victorious.

House narrowed his eyes and grinned wickedly, "We'll see, Cuddles. We'll see."

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Music: Panda Bear – Good Girl/Carrots