Edward:
-Runs to Emmett- EMMETT!! Emmett, you have to help me!
Emmett:
What's wrong now Edward??
Edward:
Bella said she's getting tired of my "scent." But what am I supposed to do? This is my natural scent.
Emmett:
I have a brilliant idea, bro.
Edward:
Tell me! I'll do anything!
Emmett:
You can borrow some of my Axe.
Edward:
Your Axe Emmett??
Emmett:
Yeah. It says on the bottle, 'Designed to seduce the ladies, if you spray it they will come.'
Edward:
I guess I'll give it a try.
The next day
Edward:
Emmett I'm gonna kill you.
Emmett:
-Confused- Why??
Edward:
Well Bella liked the Axe, but so did every other girl I saw!
Emmett:
-Winks- So??
Edward:
Emmett, I only wanted to impress Bella. Plus, I didn't even know most of the girls. One came up to me and was speaking Portuguese!!
Emmett:
Edward, how do you know it was Portuguese??
Edward:
I used the Handy Dandy Language Handbook!
Emmett:
-Shocked- Did you steal that from Alice??
Edward:
Yeah, so??
Emmett:
HOLY FRIGGIN' TOASTER WAFFLES, EDWARD!! That book is Alice's life!
Edward:
Chillax big E, I'm gonna go return it.
Screaming Voice From Down The Hall:
WHERE IS MY HANDY DANDY LANGUAGE HANDBOOK?!
Edward:
Holy toenail clippers, she noticed! What do I do Emmett?
Emmett:
Uh, go hide in that cabinet over there.
-Edward manages to squeeze into the cabinet right before Alice storms in-
Alice:
Emmett, do you know where my book is??
Emmett:
EDWARD TOOK IT!! HE'S HIDING IN THE CABINET!!
-Alice rushes over to the cabinet and pulls Edward out. She drags him by his thumbs out of the room-
Edward:
-As he passes Emmett- I hate Axe.