Stupid men.
Retarded fools.
God, how much I wish Mr. Johnson wasn't such a twit!
Why this?
Why, out of all the much more necessary homework he could have chosen for our class to do, why this shit!
Once upon a time.
Useless words.
Useless childish words.
I stared at the words printed in black ink. They seemed to be mocking me. My eyebrows were brought closer into an angry glare as my teacher, Mr. Johnson, explained to our class what these words were to be used for. He spoke to us as if we were first graders! Telling us to write a fictional story, HA! Who does he think he is!
I am sixteen years old. SIXTEEN!! I am old enough and smart enough to comprehend that if a piece of paper is given to me by my teacher with the words 'Once upon a time' printed on it in bold letters then it probably means that I am suppose to write a stupid little story about a princess whose saved by her prince and lives happily ever fucking after!
Those little liars.
Happily ever afters don't exist. Not in the real world. That's why I loathe stories with princes and princesses in them. They tell you only two things: women are weak individuals who have to be rescued by men in tights and that, by some sort of miraculous reason, the prince and princess always end up living a perfect life together in harmony.
I clutched all ten fingers into my palms and pressed my teeth together until I felt as though they would shatter. ' Lies…' I thought, 'all lies.'
I sprinted out the door as soon as I heard the bell ring. I was pissed. That whole fairytale shit completely ruined my afternoon. Thank the heavens that school's finally over. It would ruin my rep if I went around school fumed up like this. I'd have to force myself to smile and that would just be way too bothersome. Even though I know they wouldn't notice. They never notice. That's why boys are such retards. They never notice anything about a girl unless it has something to do with their body. Perverts all of them! I loathe boys just as much as I loathe fairytales. They're both liars. Nothing but dirty liars.
I hadn't even turned the entire corner until I heard those pig-like squeaks call out my name in unison. I wish I could just run. Just walk away without a care in the world. But that would ruin the perks I would receive each day.
" Pudding!" I heard their voices much more clearly now that they seemed to be getting closer. They sounded exhausted. As if, they had ran around the entire school in search of me, which they probably did do. Desperate fool.
"Pudding!" One of them put him hand on my shoulder and shoved him face to the side of mine while the others huddled around me eager to see me wearing my plaid mini skirt, which I normally never wear except for when the sun is at it's hottest, and white shirt (it's our school uniform for when Spring comes along). I turned my head to face each one of them and forced a smile of happiness across my face. I always have to force a smile around these knuckleheads.
" Hey guys! You all got out of the classroom pretty quick, are you all following me?" I giggled as flirtatiously as I could possibly manage to, hoping that they would think I was joking when, in reality, I was not. " But, of course. We couldn't just sit still in that boring old dusty room and watch you go home with no one to carry your books." He quickly slid the two textbooks I had been holding into his arms and smiled at me.
" Why don't you let me walk you home today? I'm sure that I would be a better escort to you, Pudding, than anyone of these guys would."
My head dropped as I heard HIS voice again.
'Oh no! Not him again.'
I sighed deeply and turned around to come in close contact with my utterly obsessive stalker, Jake. His dirty, sort of brunette, blonde hair was falling all over his face like a mop. It was a miracle anyone could ever see his crystal clear blue eyes with that mop of a head. He had been a part of my loyal little group of slaves ever since I came into high school and GOD is he annoying! He follows me every single day, even when I'm not in school. He's even tried coming over my house like twenty times already. FREAK! He confessed his 'Love' for me like two weeks ago. I rejected him. Guess he just isn't the type to admit he's lost and just go home.
I smiled sadly at him to try to pretend I was sad. "Sorry Jake. No can do. I have to go to work today." I said with a devilish smile implanted inside my head. All of them started complaining about how I never have any free time to hang out with them because of my job. They accused my boss, Ryou, of keeping me all to himself. I truly laughed at their responses then turned around and walked out of school.
I was so much more relieved when I began walking out the school gates. If anyone were to ever heard my true thoughts or know my true feelings I would be alone again.
All alone.
Forever.
That is why I reject all those who try to push my heart open so that they can be let inside. That is why this word, love, has no meaning to me. Why do human beings always have to fall in love? Is it a form of torture God had made us feel as punishment for our sins or is it simply caused by our selfish human needs to be with another being for the rest of your life. Love only leads to pain. No matter what happens, someone will always end up hurt.
That is what I remember.
I remember falling in love one time, still a blur to whom it was that stole my heart though; all I truly remember is that he crushed my heart and shred it into a million little pieces. After that day, I began to simply forget.
I wanted to forget.
Forget the good qualities of males.
Forget the love.
Forget everything.
I had succeeded in forgetting the face of the person I loved, yet, for some reason, the pain and suffering that occurred the day he left still wounds me. It's like a curse. A curse God had given me for deceiving others, for deceiving myself. Every moment I remember the pain, I cry.
I hate crying. It opens your heart to those around you. I cried in front of my love and he only deepened my wound. Since then, I had promised myself to never cry in front of anyone ever again. I will never open up my heart to anyone ever again. I would simply stay away from love.
The minute my distractions had cleared completely out of my sight, I began crying.
I couldn't stop.
Thinking of the pain always made the same result.
Tears.
I whispered under my breath a sheepish "Dammit." then, I broke down completely.
"AARRGH!! FUCK! WHY THE FUCK'S IT ALWAYS COME OUT LIKE THIS? AM I REALLY SO PATHETIC THAT I WOULD STILL BE CRING FOR THAT ASSHOLE? GOD, STOP IT! STOP THIS SHIT! WHY AM I BEING PUNISHED? WHY IS MY HEART STILL OPEN FOR A MAN WHO WOULD LEAVE ME BROKEN LIKE THIS? SAVE ME!!"
"Okay."
I shot back in surprise to a voice responding to my pleads.
Was that "okay" from God? Is God really talking to me? Is he really answering my plead? Will he really save me? I knew subconsciously that my thought had gone completely and totally insane, yet, I couldn't help but to believe that God would really help me forgot the pain.
"God?"
I heard a small snort and then a chuckle coming from the same voice that had told me "okay" and I immediately figured out that the voice belonged to a boy and not God; I felt like an idiot.
I blushed furiously and sighed as if I had just been defeated in battle.
"Okay, okay…" I told the voice, ". You had your laugh, whoever you are. Now just come out so we could work out an agreement."
"Hm? Agreement?" the voice asked confused," Why would we have to make an agreement? I was perfectly okay with you calling me God." the voice began chuckling again," You can keep calling me that name if you want."
I clenched my fists and tried to bare with this stranger's arrogant attitude.
I still could not see him.
'Why was he hiding' I wondered.
""You know", I shifted my head in every direction to try to face him, yet I could still not see his face or his body anywhere," it's rude to just hide away in the bushes while someone is talking to you. "
No response
"The least you could do is to introduce yourself."
I heard some ruffling and spun around to find a teenage boy, around m age or so, with dark brown hair and hazelnut colored eyes glaring at me form the sky.
He was floating in the sky!
I gasped.
Humans were not suppose to be able to fly, right?
It was a stupid question to ask myself but I guess I was so in shock that stupidity simply overtook my brain.
The more I looked at this stranger's eyes the more my heart seemed to be breaking. Odd. Why was his glare killing me? I hardly know this boy and yet he has the power to practically shatter my heart with his glare.
The boy seemed irritated.
"You know me!" he shouted.