Hello Everyone! I'm trying to update this as much as I can. School's very busy, I know a lot of people can relate. Anyway, this is the next chapter, I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 24

Sudden Realization, Unexpected Action

Tonks stared out her kitchen window, sipping hot chocolate. It had been a very long day at work, as was becoming routine. Tonks found that she was so tired she couldn't sleep. In addition, the worst possible thing Remus could have told Tonks was to "think about it." The more she thought about it, the more she couldn't understand him; the more she wondered. It didn't help that it was the full moon, the reason Tonks found herself staring out her window. Growing up, she had always loved the moon, especially when it was full. She thought it was beautiful and mysterious; a way of knowing there was something more out there. Now as she looked at it, she only felt sadness. It seemed so manipulative now. She thought about Remus, and wondered where he was. She was sure he was with the other werewolves. He'd been spending more time with them, desperately trying to sway them to join the Order's effort, or at least to stay away from Voldemort for a little while longer. Tonks knew that she should be heading to bed, she was expected to be in the office early the next morning for a meeting, but somehow she knew that she wasn't going to get any sleep. She was too worried about Remus. He was running around with werewolves, evil werewolves. He wasn't like them. Remus was kind, he kept his head during his transformations, and he was determined to never hurt anyone. These other werewolves, they hated pure humans, they wanted to hurt, to kill. She couldn't stand the thought of Remus being with them, or trying to convince them to change their minds. What would happen if one of them got angry with him? Fenrir Greyback was the most horrible of all of them. He was the one that attacked Remus was he was a child. What if got tired of Remus trying to persuade him? What if he attacked? Would Remus be able to fight him? Would he make it? Tonks couldn't stand thinking about it. It made her sick to her stomach. Tonks closed her eyes, and took a breath, trying desperately to fall asleep, even if it was in her kitchen chair. However, sleep didn't come.

That morning had gone as horribly as Tonks had thought it would. No one in the office was getting anywhere, except for Kingsley, who had managed to keep the muggle Prime Minister safe, and had identified someone on his staff who had been confunded.

As she was leaving that afternoon, she couldn't keep her eyes open anymore, she ran into Arthur on the lift.

"Afternoon, Tonks," he said cheerily, looking through a stack of papers in his hands.

"Wotcher, Arthur," Tonks replied sleepily. "Busy lately?"

"More than ever. Anyone who used to mess with muggles is just doing it tenfold now because he thinks he can blame it on the Death Eaters, and of course the Death Eaters are happy to take the blame and act on their own as well. But I'm sure you'll know all about being busy."

Tonks nodded. "We're scrambling around up there; no one's really getting anywhere. It's all going downhill," she yawned.

"Didn't get much sleep last night?"

"I would have settled for not much," Tonks joked. "That's why I'm sneaking out early. I just can't keep my eyes open anymore."

"I'll be heading out early too. Trying to leave after I deliver all these," he held up the stack of papers."

"Good luck," Tonks said. By the size of the stack, Arthur wouldn't be leaving the Ministry for a week.

"Yeah, Molly's having dinner for a few friends tonight," he said looking up at Tonks.

"Oh, any special occasion?" She asked, knowing perfectly well why Arthur had mentioned dinner.

"Well, our son's going to be there, with his girlfriend," Tonks remembered Bill's talking about Fleur. "And our other sons Fred and George are coming too. Molly tries to get them home for dinner as often as possible. So, it's just them a few friends, no occasion really."

"Well, that's nice," Tonks said as the lift opened, and an elderly witch stepped inside. "What time's dinner? Will you make it home with all that work?"

"Oh, I should be fine," he said cheerily. "Dinner's at seven-thirty, so I should have plenty of time." The lift opened again on the fifth floor. "Well, I'm off," he said as he stepped off the lift and nodded to Tonks.

That night Tonks made her way down the lane to The Burrow, did her usual act of changing her appearance several times, and made her way into the kitchen where the rest of the Order, except Remus, was seated around the kitchen table.

Immediately, Tonks noticed the young girl sitting next to Bill at the end of the table. She was talking animatedly to Hestia, speaking with a heavy French accent. Tonks recognized Fleur from her pictures in the Prophet from the Triwizard tournament, but she was even more beautiful in person. Actually beautiful was an understatement. Fleur was absolutely gorgeous; she had beautiful, pale skin, bright blue eyes, and stunning silvery blonde hair. She had to be part veela.

Tonks looked over at Mrs. Weasley, who was hunched over the stove. She was working frantically. Tonks glanced at Bill, who was talking to Arthur, while Fleur began stroking his hand with her dainty finger. Bill looked so happy as he turned to face her. Molly, on the other hand, looked furious as she came over to the table, plates in hand.

A few minutes later, after Molly had brought all of the food over, Arthur stood.

"So," he began. "I know everyone's waiting for what the meeting's about, but we really don't' have any new developments. We're here tonight to welcome a new member," he took a seat. Bill stood quickly and cleared his throat.

"Well," he began. "Most of you know that I have been dating Fleur for quite a while," he gestured toward Fleur, who smiled widely, her perfectly white teeth almost twinkling in the light. "I've been talking to her about the Order recently, about our mission, what we do, and she wants to join our efforts. So, tonight we're welcoming her as our new member."

Mad-Eye said, and Fleur repeated, the same oath that Tonks had taken when she officially joined the Order. She remembered that day like it was yesterday. She hadn't known most of these people then. She didn't know Remus, she didn't know Sirius. She had no idea how much her life would change in the course of the year.

"Well," Bill began again, pulling Tonks from her memories. "We have another reason for inviting you all here tonight," Tonks glanced at Fred and George, who were looking mischievously at their brother. Arthur was smiling, and Molly still looked rigid and angry. Bill took Fleur's hand in his, as she beamed up at him. "We've already told mum and dad, but you're all our family too, and we wanted to invite you to celebrate with us. He was silent for a moment. "Fleur and I are engaged." He smiled from ear to ear. Fleur lifted her left hand, and sure enough there was a glittering diamond ring sitting comfortably on her dainty finger. There were claps, happy gasps, and "Congratulations" being said to the future bride and groom. The men all jumped up to shake hands with Bill, and the women, except Molly and, Tonks noticed, Ginny, hugged Fleur and told her what a beautiful bride she would make.

"Congratulations," Tonks said kindly to Fleur. "Zank you veree much," Fleur replied. Tonks then made her way over to Bill. "Congratulations, Bill!" Tonks said, giving him a hug. "I'm so happy for the both of you. You'll make a lovely bride and groom."

"Thank you, Tonks," Bill said, still grinning from ear to ear.

As Tonks was headed back to her seat, she began to feel a creeping sadness. She was happy for Bill and Fleur, she really was, or at least she was trying to be. There they were Bill and Fleur, happy and in love. They were getting married. And there she was, sitting alone, not understanding why the man she cared so much about, refused to let them be together. It really was selfish of her to be thinking of her own problems when Bill and Fleur were trying to celebrate, but no one knew she was being selfish, so no one was hurt by it.

Dinner had lasted for quite a while that night, quite to Tonks', and Molly's, dismay. Around eleven the last of the Order had left. Fred and George decided, from their mother's urging, that they would stay the night. Fleur, Tonks discovered was staying with the Weasleys' over the summer to get to know her future in-laws. She would be staying in Ginny's room. Bill and Fleur offered to help clean the kitchen, but Molly shooed them away, so they headed up to bed, they both had to work the next day. Arthur had gone up to bed too; he would have to be at the ministry in a few hours.

"Molly," Tonks said, "Are you sure you don't need any help?" Tonks knew she should be trying to sleep, but she detested the idea of going home to her empty flat. She had been thinking enough that night, she didn't want to think anymore.

"No, Tonks, it's alright. I'm almost finished," said Molly scrubbing pots and pans in the sink. Tonks stared around the room glumly. She didn't want to overstay her welcome, but she didn't want to leave either. "Would you like a cup of tea, Tonks?" Molly asked, having seen the sadness in Tonks's face.

"Er…sure, Molly, that would be great."

A few minutes later, after the kitchen was cleared, and the tea was poured, Tonks was sitting at the kitchen table with Molly, who although still looking a little irritated, seemed to have calmed a bit. Tonks sipped her tea in silence. She wasn't sure what to say, but she had the sinking suspicion that Molly was going to start asking questions. Tonks had never been in the Weasleys' house when it was so empty. It was a little past midnight, and everyone in the house, except for Molly and Tonks, were snuggly sleeping in their beds.

"So, Tonks," Molly said, breaking the silence. "How are things at the ministry? I know Arthur's department is mad. I can only imagine how horrible the Auror Department must be right now."

"Yeah, it's quite chaotic," Tonks answered. "No one really knows what to do. It's hard to distinguish rubbish leads from real ones, and there's so much unnecessary paperwork to fill out. I still have about three stacks to finish." Tonks took a sip of her tea, and there was an awkward silence. Molly was surveying Tonks.

"Is that what's bothering you, dear?" Molly asked.

"What?" Tonks asked, feeling quite like she was under a microscope.

"Well, it's just that you haven't been yourself lately, and I just thought that maybe work had something to do with it."

"Well, er…" Tonks stuttered. It wasn't work that was bothering her, and the way Molly asked made Tonks think that Molly knew that too. However, Tonks wasn't going to start a discussion about all that nonsense. She would just keep her answers simple.

"Yeah, I er…suppose that could have something to do with it."

Molly stood to pour herself some more tea from the kettle on the stove. As the sugar was adding itself to the cup, Molly turned to face Tonks.

"Does it have something to do with Remus?" She asked. Tonks choked on her tea.

"How did you know?" Tonks said after recovering. She decided that there was no hiding it from Molly.

"Mother's intuition," she answered, smiling warmly and retaking her seat next to Tonks. "I've had my suspicions for a while, and of course I did see you two at Grimmauld Place." Tonks knew that if she had dared to take another sip of tea, she would have choked again. She felt her face getting very warm.

"Oh," Tonks said, trying to muster a laugh.

"Accidental," Molly answered, smiling even more broadly than before. "I wanted to see if you wanted tea." There was silence again; Tonks wasn't quite sure what to say next.

"You, er… you said you've had suspicions for a while."

"Well," Molly said, seeming to think about her answer, "I would call them more than suspicions, more like facts without recognition."

"Oh."

"I hadn't really noticed much, especially on Remus' end, he's rather hard to read, but of course I saw the both of you at dinner." Tonks didn't even have to think about which of the many dinners the Order had spent together Molly was talking. Molly was referring to the one where Tonks and Remus had bumped hands, which resulted in food and drink flying and spilling everywhere. Tonks felt her cheeks burning again. They had not even had time to fully recover from a few minutes before. "After that," Molly continued, "I was positive about you, and quite certain about Remus as well." Tonks was intrigued. She had seen something in Remus too?

"How?" Tonks felt rather childish asking.

"Well, no offense, dear, I do know that you are rather clumsy, but I could just see it in your face when you glanced at him. I also saw his face, which looked utterly terrified, and it couldn't just be because of the wine spilt on him**. No, I knew then." Tonks was silent again. How was she supposed to respond?"

"You must have a gift with that Molly," she finally decided to say.

"No, but I've raised six sons, and you begin to recognize the signs after a while," Molly answered. Tonks smiled weakly in return.

"I was certain when you were in St. Mungo's," Molly said reminiscently. Remus was wreck at first, I could tell. He stayed with you the whole time you know."

"Yeah, I know," answered Tonks. "He wanted to tell me about Sirius, and the kids."

"Oh, I'm sure it was far more than that, dear," Molly answered matter-of-factly.

"Why do you think I haven't been trying to set you up with Bill?"

Tonks laughed, "Don't care much for Fleur?"

"Oh, no," Mrs. Weasley said unconvincingly. "She's lovely; I just think their rushing into things. They've only known each other for a few months. It's just like last time, people making rash decisions every which way, afraid they wouldn't have time to wait; people rushing off right from school to get married and start families."

"You and Arthur skipped on that then?"

"Oh, no," Mrs. Weasley answered. "We got married right after we finished school, but that was different. We knew we were made for each other." Tonks knew that Molly was waiting for Tonks to challenge her, as Tonks was sure Bill had, but Tonks didn't say a word. Molly wasn't fond of Fleur, and obviously didn't think she and Bill were a good match. She just wanted her son to take his time; she didn't want him to get hurt.

"So, is something wrong with the two of you then?" Molly asked.

"With whom?" Tonks asked, forgetting where they were in the conversation.

"You and Remus."

"How do you know that something's wrong with the two of us?" Tonks asked, quite amazed at how perceptive Molly was.

"Well, at the first meeting after all of that with the ministry, I saw you two in the sitting room. I wasn't sure what was going on, so I didn't want to intrude, but once Remus left right after, I knew something wasn't right. Then the time after that, when you both stayed in sitting room when everyone came in for tea. I did my best to make sure that no one noticed your absence. You just looked terribly distressed for the rest of the night, the both of you. I knew something had to be wrong."

Tonks hung her head for a moment. She didn't know how to say anything to Molly without sounding childish. She didn't want to pout over this, but it really was upsetting her, even more than she was letting on to herself.

"Tonks," Molly said gently, "I know I'm not your mother, but I do think of you very similar to a daughter, you are Charlie's age after all, and we've spent so much time getting to know you from the Order, if there's anything you ever want to talk about, please know that I'm here. And I have years of experience with my own children, I'm sure I'll have something of value to say," she added.

Tonks laughed, her head still staring at the kitchen table, her hands resting on the back of her neck in exasperation. "I told him."

"Told him?" Molly asked.

"I told Remus how I felt," Tonks said, feeling slightly terrified and relieved that she had finally said it out loud.

"Good for you, Tonks," Molly said encouragingly. "Nothing will ever get anywhere if no one says anything."

"It's not going anywhere," Tonks replied sadly. Molly looked slightly confused. "He says it won't work…we won't work."

"I'm sorry dear," Molly said genuinely. "Did he say why?"

"No. He just told me that if I really thought about it, I would realize that it would be the worst thing for me."

"Well," Molly said, standing up to get some cookies out of the pantry, and to clean one lonely pot still sitting in the sink, "I wouldn't worry about it, Tonks." Tonks just looked up at Molly; she wasn't sure what Molly meant. "Remus has been through a lot, especially in the last few years," Molly said. "You just can't give up."

"I don't know," Tonks said solemnly. "I've tried to speak to him a few times, but he doesn't want to talk about it. It's driving me mad."

"Just give him some time," Molly answered. "He'll come around."

"It's just so frustrating," Tonks answered, finally feeling the anger that had been hiding behind the sadness.

"I know, Tonks. Men are always very frustrating."

"It hasn't been a walk in the park for me either. I've never said anything like that to anyone before. I mean we both have been in the Order, we both lost Sirius, we both spent so much time together, and now it's just like it's not important to him. I've tried to talk, to figure out what's going on, but he won't have it. I've been putting in so much effort, and trying to force myself not to worry about it. It's really putting me behind in my work. It's just rather infuriating. I mean I've been trying, I really have, and he wants no part, he just keeps disappearing like it's nothing. I can't do that, I mean I lo…" Tonks was on a rampage, and didn't even think about what she was saying. The words just came, but as soon as they did, Tonks knew they were true. It was like something she had been waiting to say, something that she had been hiding from herself, too afraid to really know.

"You what dear," Molly asked, but Tonks knew that Molly already knew what she was going to say.

"I love him," Tonks said, defeated, putting her hands in her face, and resting her elbows on the table. "I do, I love him."

"I thought so," Molly said sweetly. Tonks just looked up at her, how was it that she knew so much. "Mother's intuition again, dear. I can tell the way that you talk about him, the way you worry about him, the way you look at him," Molly said. "And I certainly don't think that it's too farfetched to say he feels the same about you."

"I just don't know. Why wouldn't he tell me? Why doesn't he want to talk about it? Why isn't it driving him this mad?" Tonks asked, almost desperately.

"Well, Tonks," Molly said, sitting back down with a small tray of cookies, "I'm sure it's bothering him just as much as it is you, but he just doesn't want to face it. He thinks that by avoiding it, it'll just go away. Men tend to think that way. But, you have to remember how much Remus has been through, how much rejection and isolation. He's probably just afraid of it. You just can't give up, Tonks. Keep fighting for him. I'm sure that if you do, if you really convince him, he'll let his guard down."

"Do you really think so?" Tonks asked, feeling like a child, begging her mother for approval.

"I do," Molly answered. "I've seen the way he looks at you, Tonks. And I really do think so."

After a few minutes of eating the cookies, and finishing their tea, Tonks decided it was time to head home, and to try and get some sleep before work the next day.

"Here Tonks," Molly said, bringing out a small basket of food. "Take this to Remus for me tonight," she instructed. "He's probably just gotten through the transformation, so he's probably very weak, and I'm sure he hasn't eaten decently since the last time he was here." Tonks took the basket hesitantly. "Go on, dear," Molly said, leading Tonks to the kitchen door. "Take it to him for me. It'll give you a chance to talk like you deserve to," Molly said. Tonks smiled at Molly in return, she really was excellent at giving advice.

"Thanks, Molly," Tonks said, "for everything."

Tonks found herself standing outside of Remus' flat with the basket of food from Molly. It had started drizzling right after Tonks left Molly's. She didn't apparate far from Remus' building, but she still managed to have rain sprinkled across her face. She was just waiting outside of the door. She was terrified to go any further. She knew Remus had just gotten over his transformation. Was it really right for her to bother him at the moment? Would he even let her in? She mentally told herself to stop. She needed to stop making excuses for him, and for herself.

She knocked quickly on the door. She heard slight movement, but no voice came from the other side. She knocked again, hoping that Remus would realize she wasn't leaving.

"Who is it?" Called a faint voice from the other side.

"It's Tonks," Tonks tried to answer calmly. "Molly, er…Molly sent me over with some food. She thought you needed a good meal. You'd better eat it rather quickly. I expect they'll be an owl or a patronus arriving soon to see if you've eaten it. You know how Molly is." Tonks heard the door creaking open, and saw Remus' worn face through the opening.

"Come in," he said. Tonks walked through the door cautiously, just as she had done the last time. "Is it raining?" Remus asked, noticing the rain drops on her face and clothes.

"It's just drizzling a bit," Tonks said, sitting the basket on the kitchen table. Tonks absentmindedly walked away from the table and toward the living room. Remus made his way over to the basket, and started to look through its abundant contents.

"I'm not sure what's in it," Tonks said. "I was at Molly and Arthur's for the Order meeting, and Molly and I were having tea, and she just asked if I'd drop it by on my way home." Tonks knew it was a lie, but it didn't matter. Remus didn't need the truth at the moment.

"Would you like anything?" Remus asked, placing some food on the small kitchen table. Tonks studied his face as he looked toward her, waiting for her answer. He look very tired, his face was more lined, his very graying even more. His robes seemed even shabbier than before.

"Oh no thank you," Tonks said, turning away. "I already ate at the meeting."

After a few moments of silence, Remus spoke. "So," Remus asked, "did I er…miss anything at the meeting?"

"No new business," Tonks answered. "But, Bill and Fleur are engaged, and Fleur got inducted into the Order."

"That's wonderful," Remus said very unenthusiastically. "I'll have to give them my congratulations next time I see them.

"Yes, it was rather lovely," Tonks said unconvincingly. "They look very happy together."

"I'm sure they will be."

Silence followed. Tonks knew that she wanted to say something, but she just wasn't sure what. She wasn't sure how she should bring it all up again. Remus looked rather fidgety, almost like he had somewhere to go.

After another minute of Tonks's staring around Remus' flat and Remus' pretending to study all of the food choices, Remus finally spoke, "Tonks, I ha…"

But Tonks cut him off. She didn't know what he was going to say, but she didn't want to find out. She had to say it, or she never would, and she couldn't deal with that anymore.

"Remus, why won't it work?" She demanded. Remus looked rather taken aback.

"Tonks, I told you," he said calmly, looking away from her, "if you really think about it, you'll see."

"I have." Tonks said simply. "I have thought about it, and I just don't understand. We both fancy each other, we've been through so much together, and I just don't get it."

"Tonks, it's just…there are just other factors…so many other things…it just… it would just never work…it…no, it would…it would just…"

"But I love you," Tonks blurted out the words. Although terrified, Tonks felt quite liberated. She felt a huge weight lift off of her chest, perhaps she had been waiting to tell him for a long time. Remus looked up at her again. He looked shocked, and almost slightly frightened at the same time.

"I do, I love you," Tonks said, making her words more concrete. Remus didn't answer. He just continued to stare at Tonks, with the same expression. It was almost as if he was looking at her for the first time. Silence followed again. Tonks had nothing else to say, nothing else she could say.

"Tonks," Remus broke the silence slowly, "I er…I have to go." Tonks was stunned, and hurt. She couldn't believe he was doing this, now of all times. "I…I told Dumbledore I was on my way…have to tell him what's going on…was just about to leave when you came…can't keep him waiting any longer." Remus fumbled around with his traveling cloak. He made his way over to the front door, and held it open for Tonks. She wordlessly walked through it. She just stared at Remus as he locked the door, and faced her.

"I'm…I'm sorry, Tonks," he said. "I just…can't." With that, he apparated.

Tonks just stood there stunned for a few moments. She couldn't believe that she had just said that, told Remus that she loved and him, and that he had just gone. What was wrong with him? Tonks had never told anyone that before, but she presumed it was improper etiquette to leave right after someone told you she loved you.

Tonks found herself sitting in her kitchen sipping hot cocoa, once again. She was startled when a grey mist, a patronus, showed up.

"Tonks," it said. "I'm sorry I left so quickly…I wanted to make sure you made it home safely." It was Remus. Even though he left he really did care about Tonks, and whether she was alright. She resisted her urge to smile.

Tonks waited for almost an hour before she returned a patronus saying that she was fine, in fact all it said was "I'm home." If he really did care, and was worried about her, Tonks wanted Remus to suffer for a little bit, waiting for a reply.

Tonks knew she wouldn't sleep again, but she wasn't sure what it was now. Was it that Remus had sent the patronus to check on her? Or was it because he only apologized for leaving so quickly?